by Ciana Stone
He fell in love.
It took his breath. Literally, stole it from him. “Willa.” He could barely speak for the emotion that overpowered him.
Something swept through Willa that brought fresh tears to her eyes. Never in her life had she heard someone speak her name in that way. She’d hated her name since she was old enough to know it but the way it fell from Zeb’s lips like a prayer was the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard.
It overwhelmed her and then it scared her. She couldn’t let herself fall victim to Zeb’s charm. He hated Calder County. He would leave her. Again. She’d suffered his loss once and still had not gotten over her love for him. She couldn’t face that again.
When he reached for her she got to her feet and backed away.
“No.”
“Willa.” He stood and moved toward her.
“No.” Why was that one syllable all she could manage and why did it carry no weight, not even to her?
“Willa.” He took her face in his hands and she closed her eyes, her strength fleeing. She felt his breath on her face and then the feel of his lips on hers. It was not a kiss of passion. It was so much more. She felt it in every cell of her body. Here she was, standing on the porch of the only home she’d ever known and this kiss spoke of homecoming. Of being where she was destined to be.
It was the most astonishing and joyous moment of her life. And almost before she could grasp the magnitude of it the world went black.
Zeb caught her as she suddenly went limp. Lobo whined beside him. “I’ve got her,” Zeb said and swept her up in his arms. He managed to get the screen door open to the house. Lobo brushed by him as he entered. He carried Willa to the couch in the front room and placed her gently on it then sat beside her.
“Willa? Honey, can you hear me?”
Her lack of response scared him. It must have scared Lobo as well because he whined and lay down beside the couch. Almost immediately, a ruckus of chattering ensued. The five ferrets tore into the room and onto the couch, touching Willa’s face, climbing all over her whining and chattering.
Zeb shuttered as one of them climbed up his arm, nosed his face and then patted it frantically, chattering a mile a minute. God those things gave him the creeps. But they but were not nearly as frightening as Willa lying there unconscious.
He patted her face. “Willa? Honey wake up.”
Willa was vaguely aware of a voice but she didn’t want to give it attention. She was on her swing. Zeb was there, a gangly teenage boy with a smile that was brighter than the sun. He was pushing her and with each push she got closer to the sky.
He stopped and her swing slowed and finally stilled. Willa grinned at him. “You’re my ever after, Zeb Childress. Just you wait and see.”
Suddenly there was darkness. Where was she? In a room. She was on a floor. She could feel the wood beneath her. She wanted to move but when she tried pain lanced through her so strong, she screamed. Then she saw him. Zeb. He was lying beside her. There was blood on his face and his skin was pale. Too pale. His lips were moving but no sound emerged.
It scared the living hell out of her.
“Zeb!”
With her scream, she returned to reality to find Zeb sitting beside her, holding onto her, concern clear on his face.
“God almighty, Willa. You scared the hell outta me. Are you okay?”
“Fine. I’m fine.” She lied and pushed herself up into a sitting position.
“I don’t know. Maybe I should take you over to County Hospital and get you checked out.”
“No. I’m fine,” she insisted. “Seriously,” she added at the look he gave her. “It’s just a lot to take in with the killings and … and …”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
“I understand that part, honey. It’s a lot for me, too. I’ve … I’ve never gotten hit with this kind of feeling. Honestly, I didn’t think I was capable and it’s a little uncomfortable, truth be told.”
“Why?” His statement allowed her thoughts to turn to something less frightening and something more important, at least to her.
“Why is it uncomfortable?”
“No, why didn’t you think you were capable?”
For a moment Zeb wanted to bolt, just head out of the door, jump in his cruiser and take off. He had never talked to anyone about certain things in his life and he was not sure he could now.
“Zeb? Talk to me. Please.”
The need to run was overcome by the look on her face. Damn, was this love? The inability to refuse?
“You know how my father died?”
Willa had heard the stories but wanted to hear it from him. “Just gossip I overheard.”
Zeb blew out a breath and leaned down, propping his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped. He stared at his hands as he spoke. “Ever since I can remember he would beat her. My mother. One of my first memories was of him sitting down at the dinner table, taking a bite of his biscuit and then spitting it in her face and screaming at her that it was cold. He grabbed hold of her hair and crammed that whole biscuit in her mouth then shoved her on the floor and kicked her in the gut.
“I can still see that to this day. Him with his face all red and her just lying there with her cheeks all ballooned out and biscuit spewing from her mouth as he kicked her.
“And that was mild. Sometimes he’d beat her so bad she wouldn’t be able to get out of bed for a week and we’d have to fend off whatever we could eat raw or whatever piece of meat he could burn in a frying pan.”
He paused and turned his head to look at her. “He was a mean bastard, Willa. Mean to the bone. When I was thirteen I came home from here and found him kicking the shit out of her in the parlor. She was on the floor with blood coming out of her nose and mouth and a gash on the side of her head. Her dress was bloody and torn and he just kept kicking her, over and over.
“I thought he was going to kill her. I tried to stop him, to push him away and he let me have it. Knocked me clear across the room. I saw stars. Just like in the cartoons. And I saw something else. That if I didn’t stop him he was going to kill her and then probably me.
“So I got up and ran to the kitchen where he kept a shotgun propped up in the corner. It was loaded. It was always loaded. I ran back to the parlor and told him I’d kill him if he touched her again.
“He turned and looked at me and said he was going to take that gun and beat me bloody.
“So I pulled the trigger. Twice.”
Zeb looked back down at his clasped hands.
“My mother, hurt as she was, screamed bloody murder and crawled over to him, trying to wake him and screaming at me to call for an ambulance.”
“I did but it was too late. He was dead.
“My mother told the Sheriff I’d killed him so they put me in the police car and took me to the Sheriff’s Department. They questioned me for six hours and every time I told them the same thing. Finally, they told me they were going to release me to your father. My mother was in the hospital and would be there a while. She had a concussion, a broken arm, three broken ribs and internal bleeding.
“We couldn’t have a funeral until my mother was out of the hospital. I stayed with your family until the funeral and your dad took me. We walked up and the minute my mother saw me she screamed at me. Called me a murderer and told me she never wanted to lay eyes on me again. She said I killed the only man she’d ever loved and she’d never forgive me. She cursed me, Willa. Cursed me. Said I’d never find true love in this life as payment for what I’d done to her. That my love would destroy anyone foolish enough to care about me. And then she spit on me.
“Your father brought me back here and said I could stay as long as I wanted.”
Zeb looked at her again and saw the tears that streamed from her eyes. “That stuck with me. What she said. I guess I figured maybe she was right. And maybe I didn’t deserve love. I killed my own father, Willa. What kind of man does that make me?”
“You were a child
,” she said softly and reached out to lay her hand on his shoulder. “Zeb, what you did – it wasn’t out of malice or hate. You thought he was going to kill your mother. You and she – you were both abused your whole life. And if you hadn’t …well, I remember my mama saying once that if you hadn’t done what you did, you’d probably not have lived to see fifteen.”
“Your mother was a good woman,” he said with a ghost of a smile.
“She loved you, Zeb. The whole family did.”
“And I loved them. I loved being here. But my mother found out she needed me. She couldn’t keep the place up by herself so she let me come home. Well sort of. I slept in the barn but she fed me. A couple of years after that she remarried – a drunk named Clyde Willis. Clyde hated me so she told me to get lost. I came here, as always. A month later, Clyde got drunk one night and shot her dead.
“But that’s not the point. The point is that curse – maybe it’s real. I’ve never found love and maybe that’s why. And maybe it’s a real big mistake for you to take up with me, Willa.” He looked back down at his clasped hands, both of which were white knuckled from gripping so tight.
Willa was heartsick for that young boy. She had no idea what Zeb had suffered. All these years she’d held him at fault for not loving her and the whole time he was scared to love anyone. She felt ashamed, and loved him all the more for what he’d had to bear.
She scooted over closer, reached out and forced his clenched hands apart so that she could twine her fingers with his. “That curse doesn’t scare me. Zeb, look at me.”
He did and she smiled. “Zebediah Childress, I’ve loved you as long as I can remember. Remember what I told you that day – the day I was swinging and you pushed me so high I felt like I was flying?”
Zeb’s brows came together in a slight frown. “Honestly, no. Can hardly remember a time back then you weren’t pestering me to push you on that swing.”
“You have a point,” she agreed with a smile and reminded him of that special day. “I told you that you were my ever after and I meant it with my whole heart.”
“You were ten, sugar.” A smile finally appeared on his face.
“Nine.” She corrected. “And I loved you with my whole heart. I always have, Zeb. I’ve loved you my whole life and I don’t know how to not love you. That’s what scares me. I was thirteen when you left and it broke my heart."
“You were just a kid, Willa and I was—I was a boy with a lot of growing up to do.”
“Yes, but I’m not now. And my heart can’t take you leaving me again.”
His hand tightened on hers and his gaze sought hers and held. “I won’t leave you, Willa. Not ever.”
“You hate it here, Zeb.”
“Yes, but…”
“No. It’s too soon—don’t Zeb.
“Not saying it won’t change how I feel, Willa.”
“Still…”
“Okay,” he gave in. “I understand. Words are cheap. That’s fine, honey. I’ll prove it.”
She nodded and gave his hand another squeeze. “But,” he said, “there’s something we can’t put off and that’s the mess with Ellis. We have to get you somewhere safe. The rangers have a team at the Newell ranch and if they find evidence that ties the Ellis clan to the crime, they’ll be arrested. But until then I’m worried that you were seen and if you were he’ll know you’re the one who called the law.
“That being the case, I don’t think it’s safe for you here.”
“This is my home, Zeb. I’ll not let him drive me off my own land. Besides I have my animals and loaded shotgun that I know how to use.”
“Not good enough, Willa. Now don’t give me that look. I’m more than willing to do what it takes to prove to you that I lo—that I care, but you’ve got to give a little too. I can’t be worrying about you night and day. You need to go stay in town or at least ask Ronnie and Polly to move in here for the time being.”
“No. I can’t do that, Zeb. I can’t. If Ellis is a threat then I can’t level that at Ronnie and Polly. They’re my family. And I can’t let him bully me. I can’t. I just can’t.”
Zeb stared at her for a long moment then nodded. “Fine, then I’m staying with you.”
“Ooooh, that’s a real bad idea.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“Well too bad. Look. I get that you’re stubborn and won’t be bullied and I can respect that but I’ll be damned if I’ll leave you unprotected.”
“Zeb--”
“At least until I can arrange for protection.” He gave in a bit.
She was quiet for a few moments. “Okay, but just temporary. And you sleep in Ethan’s room.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Damn you’re a hard woman, Willa Hale.”
“Just one covering her own ass.”
“Pun intended?” he asked with a smile.
Willa chuckled and leaned over to give him a short, soft kiss. “You’re a bad man, Zeb Childress.”
“Oh honey, you don’t know the half of it.”
Willa grinned and stood. “I just bet I don’t. I’ll go get the bed made up for you.”
Zeb watched her leave the room then flopped back on the couch, suddenly tired. It’d been a very long time since he’d let himself open up to anyone and let those old feelings of childhood return. It had him pretty worn out.
And also, oddly comforted. For the first time since he was fifteen he thought maybe his mother was wrong. Maybe he did have a shot at love.
He sure hoped so.
Chapter Five
Zeb had just thrown back the shower curtain and was reaching for a towel when the bathroom door opened. Willa stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh! I’m—uh…”
“Sorry?” He didn’t miss the catch in her voice or the way her eyes moved down his body. He plucked the towel from where he’d draped it across the top of the toilet but kept his eyes on her as he wrapped it around his waist. He was a little surprised she hadn’t turned and fled.
Quite the opposite. “Hardly.” She leaned against the door jam, her arms crossed lightly in front of her. “I’ve been wondering about this most of my life.”
“And?” He stepped out of the tub.
“Kinda like the kiss thing. It might take more than just one look.”
“You propositioning me, darlin’?” He moved across the small bathroom to her.
She smiled at him, straightened and reached out to hook the fingers of her right hand in the towel. “Do you want me to?”
“More than you can imagine.”
Her eyes widened a bit and for a moment he was sure she was going to flee. When a sassy smile appeared on her face, he was surprised. It was more of a surprise when she snatched the towel off and let it fall to the floor.
Willa could no more stop her eyes from tracking down his body than she could stop the sun from rising. God in heaven he was a beautiful man. Everything she’d dreamed he would be and more, she realized at the swell of his erection.
She made the return trip with her eyes just as slowly and finally made contact with his eyes. “Something you been wondering about for a while?” he asked.
“Yep.”
“So does the reality live up to the fantasy?”
She could have lied. Could have turned and walked away and avoided answering. But it wasn’t in her nature to lie. “You are so beautiful. More than I dreamed.”
“Then why are you standing there with all those clothes on?”
Because if I touch you I’ll be lost and you’ll leave me and it will kill me. She didn’t have the courage for that much honesty. “I have work to do.”
“Chicken.”
Even as a child Willa had not been able to back down from a dare or a challenge. It was a trait she’d shared with her brother and one that had gotten both of them into more than their share of trouble over the years. This was probably no different. She knew that Zeb was dangerous. At least to her.
Knowing and acting on what you knew, however, were animals of completely different breeds. The fact that she wanted him with an intensity that bordered on insanity didn’t help. “If you break my heart again, I’ll never forgive you.”
Her words cut deep. Part of him was offended. Another part, a more decent part, understood. And yet another part, the man who’d just discovered that he was capable of love, overrode all the other aspects with a fervent desire to prove himself worthy of her trust. And her love.
“I won’t.”
The smile she gave him was replete with disbelief and fear. “How can I believe that?”
He released her hand and raised both of his to cup her face. “I’ll make you believe.” He lowered his lips to hers.
Willa was prepared for a lot of things. Need, hunger, lust that burned her body and soul. This? This kiss? It wasn’t a kiss of mere passion. It was slow and tender. Zeb took his time. His tongue tasted and explored, sensual and slow, his hands gently framing her face.
It was more than excitement, more than being thrilled. She came undone. Totally and completely. And that scared the life out of her.
When he drew back from the kiss he continued to hold her face in his hands. “I’ve had my share of women, Willa. I won’t lie about that. I fucked my way across half of Texas. But today, right now I’m going to do something I’ve never done with a woman.”
“What?” Damn her voice strained to rise above a whisper she was so unhinged.
“I’m going to make love to you.”
If time had stopped right then, if the world had exploded or the universe had caved in on itself at that moment it wouldn’t have mattered. He’d spoken those words to her as he stood there naked before her, his hands gentle on her face and the evidence of his desire displayed for her. Zeb wanted her.
She nodded and he smiled that sexy smile that made a fire spring to life in her belly. Zeb’s hands moved to the hem of the t-shirt she wore and pulled it up over her head. His eyes moved to the swell of her breasts in the plain white bra and then to her eyes.