by Janie Crouch
“Wow. That’s quite a face you’re making over a Snickers bar.”
How exactly was she supposed to tell him about her love/hate relationship with the sweet treat? How every time she’d eaten a bite of one for ten years, her aunt or uncle—or whatever member of her posse they’d paid to keep an eye on her that day—had immediately started hounding her about her image and weight and whether chocolate was really a good idea.
She took another bite and let the chocolate melt in her mouth. “I think anything tastes good after being trapped in a blizzard.”
“Oh, I think it’s more than that.”
“Okay, I’ll admit it. I love chocolate. I once went on a chocolate factory tour in this one tiny town in Germany, and they gave out free samples at the end.” She laughed at the memory. That truly had been a great time. “I ate so much, I thought they were going to ask me to leave.”
He laughed at that too. “I could see some security guard trying to decide whether to risk a scene by asking you to leave in front of everyone. He probably just wanted to ask you out.”
It felt good to laugh. To really laugh. “He was in his seventies, so I doubt he wanted to ask me out. And it was a private tour, so he didn’t have to get through throngs of people. He sat there watching me stuff my face piece after piece, probably wondering if the factory would be bankrupt before I finally stopped.”
Gavin’s laughter changed, and she realized immediately that she’d said too much.
“Private tour?”
Shit. “Um, no, not so much private, as empty, I mean.” Empty because if anyone had known she was there, the place would’ve gotten mobbed. “Like I said, it was a really small town.”
“In Germany.”
She nodded. “Just outside of a city called Stuttgart.” She needed to change this subject immediately. “Have you ever been to Germany?”
“Yes, actually, I was stationed out of Ramstein Air Base for a couple years in the army. I’ve been to Stuttgart a number of times also. Enough to know you’re probably talking about the Ritter Sport factory.”
She twisted on the couch to face him, eyes big. “I was! Have you been there?”
“Yep. I love that square chocolate.”
“Me too. I used to have it shipped over from Germany.” Of course, eating it had usually caused more arguments than it was worth, but just having the shipment arrive each month had made her happy.
“Not anymore?”
She took another bite of her Snickers. “No. I prefer the American classics now.” All lies. Better to change the subject. “Did you like being in the army?”
He nodded and stretched his long legs out in front of him on the couch. “Yeah. I joined right after college, mostly to get away from my dad and the plans he felt best suited my life.”
“Like what?”
Gavin shrugged. “The family business.”
She tucked her legs under her. “And what sort of business is that?”
He turned and raised an eyebrow at her. “I’ll answer some of your hard questions if you’ll answer some of mine.”
That was entirely too dangerous. “Touché. Let’s stick to easy ones.”
He leaned his head back against the couch. “Okay, easy answer: yes, I did like the army. I had skills that Uncle Sam wanted to put to use and was teamed up with a lot of the other guys that now form Linear Tactical. Those guys are my brothers in every way but blood. So even if I hadn’t liked being in the military, I’d still be thankful for the time because it led me to them.”
“Fair enough. Do you have any actual biological siblings?”
Damn it, why did she keep asking him questions? It was just inviting him to do the same with her.
But she wanted to know about him. Which might be way more dangerous.
“Yeah. I’m the oldest. Then I have my two brothers, Tristan and Andrew, twins. And then my sister, Lyn, is the baby. She’s actually married to one of the Linear guys, Heath Kavanaugh. They live in Egypt.”
“Egypt?”
“Yeah, she’s a wiz in linguistics—particularly dead languages—does different jobs all over the world now that she’s finished her Ph.D. Heath kind of works as her bodyguard part-time. He does work for Linear every once in a while. Also does some for another company we’re close with, Zodiac Security and Tactical.”
She laid her cheek against the back of the sofa. This was all so fascinating to her, hearing him talk about his family. “So your teammate married your little sister.” Lexi couldn’t help but smile at that thought. “You’re obviously protective of her, so I’ll bet that stirred the pot a little.”
Gavin gave her a mock glare. “I’ll admit, there might have been a couple of sparring matches between Heath and me. No brother wants to think about his friend with his sister.” He leaned his head back against the sofa too. “Plus, our mom died when Lyn was little from the same heart condition Lyn has. So I’m allowed to be a little protective.”
“Fair enough.”
“How about I ask you a couple of questions but keep them vague enough that you don’t go running into the snowstorm to avoid them?”
That sounded like a terrible plan, but she didn’t want to lose this easiness between them. “Okay,” she all but growled.
He chuckled. “I’ll try not to be overwhelmed by your enthusiasm.”
“Just ask your damn questions.”
“Let’s start with hard ones. Do you have any siblings?”
“No, it’s just me.”
“Okay, easy one. Parents?”
That was actually harder. “They died in a small plane crash when I was fifteen.”
Right after she’d had her first breakout success in television. They’d gone home to clear some stuff out of their old house so they could live near her in LA. If it hadn’t been for her, they never would’ve been on that charter plane.
“That’s really hard, I’m sorry. What happened to you then?”
“My aunt and uncle took over guardianship of me.”
And her money. All of it.
She’d been so overwhelmed with grief and her newfound fame, had been so young and so freaking naïve, that it had never occurred to her that Nicholas and Cheryl might not have her best interests at heart.
She’d done whatever they told her to. Signed whatever they’d told her to. Taken the pills they’d told her would help with her different issues. Talked to the psychiatrist she’d later found out was on their payroll.
They’d kept her so isolated, and had seemed so genuinely concerned for her well-being, that she’d had no idea they were trapping her in a very beautiful prison, meanwhile making sure all access to her money went through them.
It was how she’d gone from billionaire to penniless virtually overnight. How she’d ended up with a lawyer who had barely passed the bar exam for her trial—because that had been all she’d been able to afford.
“I’m going to guess that you’re not in touch with them much now, if at all.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I think if you’d had any other options that night you took my wallet in Reddington City, you would’ve gone with those options.”
He was right. “I really am sorry about that, you know.”
He shrugged. “And I’m sorry about the dumbass stuff I’ve done since. Let’s call it even.”
“Deal.” They reached over and shook on it. She was completely unaware of how nice his large, capable hand felt around hers. Totally oblivious. And she totally didn’t notice when they didn’t quite let go of each other afterward, letting their connected hands drop between them on the couch, still touching.
“And you’re right. I’m no longer in contact with my aunt and uncle.”
The power decided to go out that very second.
“Yup, that’s about the sum of our relationship.”
Gavin chuckled, then turned on the flashlight he’d found in the desk. “Let’s get situated. Then we’ll turn the flashlight off so we’re sure
to have it if we need it later.”
She snuggled under the blanket, knowing it would get chilly in here without power. Gavin slipped his arms into his long-sleeve shirt, covering those muscles. Sadly.
They both went to use the connecting bathroom, then got settled on the couch, keeping the food and drinks within arm’s reach.
“Okay, now we hunker down and literally wait for the storm to blow over,” he said, settling in next to her. “It’s like a camping trip.”
He switched off the flashlight, and their eyes adjusted to the dimness, the only light from a clock running on battery. She couldn’t see him well, but she could feel him. He was close enough that his leg rested against hers. Shoulder too.
Maybe it was the near-death experience or the chocolate or the talking, but she wanted him closer. She wanted him as close as he could possibly be, and was tired of pretending like she didn’t.
“Unfortunately for you, we can still talk without any light.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “I mean, honestly, our only options are talking or sleeping. So we might as well—”
“I have condoms.”
19
Gavin swallowed and forced himself to breathe normally.
She had condoms.
They were trapped in a building together, possibly for days, snuggled together on a couch, and she felt comfortable enough to announce she had condoms.
Nearly every single piece of him wanted to act on that information. Hell, he’d been around long enough to know that an announcement like that probably meant she wanted him to act on that information. He was getting hard just thinking about it.
But he wasn’t going to act on it. Because right now, he’d rather continue talking to her than utilize those condoms.
Maybe he’d sustained a head injury in the snow.
“Condoms are good,” he finally said. “Healthy.”
“In case I was unclear, I made that announcement in hopes that maybe you and I could put them to use.”
He closed his eyes, trying to draw on that steadfastness he was known for. It was not easy. He was impossibly aware that all he needed to do was move a few inches and they’d be kissing. A few inches more and he could have her tucked underneath him, not having to worry about a blanket keeping her warm—he’d do it himself.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t very interested in that proposal.”
“Then why are we still talking?”
He gritted his teeth. He was an idiot. “Well, that’s just it. This offer feels a little bit like an attempt to get out of talking.”
“Really, Sheriff? You’re saying you’d rather listen to stories about my childhood than fuck me right here on this couch?”
He winced at her words for multiple reasons. He didn’t need to see her face to know its exact expression. Half smiling, coolly mocking, completely secure.
But he also knew this was how she kept people at bay. How she ensured nobody got too close. He’d seen her give a version of it to him and the guys at the bar multiple times.
It was her mask, but it wasn’t who she truly was.
“To be perfectly honest, and at risk of having to surrender my man card if this gets around, yes. I would rather get to know you right now on this couch than do anything else. Including something I really, really want to do.”
She was silent. A few seconds later, he was calling himself every sort of dumbass there was. Had he actually told her he didn’t want to have sex when he’d been thinking about that very thing almost nonstop since the moment he’d spotted her across that bar?
Jesus, this was not his first day as an adult man. She’d bluntly told him she wanted to have sex, and he’d said he’d rather talk. Yeah, his man card was disintegrating by the second.
“Lexi—” He turned, his hands reaching for her. Fuck talking. If she was offering to get physically close with him, he wasn’t going to pass that—
“What do you want to know?”
He froze. Jesus, he might be about to give himself sexual whiplash, but if she was going to talk about anything personal, he was damned well going to listen.
“Tell me more about your insomnia.”
She let out a sigh. “I struggle with sleeping. What do you need to know?”
“You said it was because of drugs? Tell me more about that. Was it recreational use? Addiction?” He was pressing his luck. But he wanted to help her if that’s what she needed. Maybe this would lead to discussing the man she’d met at that alley.
“I know this is going to sound almost impossible to believe, but I didn’t know I was on drugs at the time. Well, I did, but not what I was on.”
“How?”
She shifted under the blanket, and he thought she might stop talking altogether, but finally she spoke. “It’s a complicated story, and I don’t want to tell the whole thing, but basically, some medication I thought I was taking for health reasons ended up being harmful to my body.”
“I don’t understand.” But he wanted to.
“Never mind. I told you it was impossible to believe.”
No, he wasn’t going to let her withdraw. He reached an arm around her and pulled her against his chest. “I didn’t say I don’t believe you. All I’m saying is I don’t understand. Try. Give me a little more information.”
“When I was younger, after my parents died, Cheryl and Nicholas came to live with me as my guardians. I was fifteen. I had a hard time sleeping. I saw a specialist, and she gave me a prescription for some sleeping pills.”
“Okay, that doesn’t seem abnormal for a teenager who’d just lost her parents.”
He could feel her breathing against his shirt. “At first they worked fine, but then they started having the opposite effect. It ended up someone was trading out my sleeping pills a little bit at a time, replacing them with stimulants. Mostly Adderall or Ritalin.”
He was struggling to wrap his brain around what she was saying. “What the hell?”
“So yeah, too many years of my body associating trying to sleep with the spike of adrenaline the pills caused, it kind of messed me up in the head. Basically my mind doesn’t know how to sleep.”
He could feel his own adrenaline spiking like there was an enemy to fight right here in this room. Who would do that to a grieving child? “How long did this go on for?”
“About ten years.”
Ten years? Holy shit. That meant— “Your aunt and uncle did this to you.”
That was the only thing that made sense. The only people she would’ve trusted for that long—who would’ve had access to her for so many years.
“Yes,” she whispered. “At first they were my guardians, but even after I turned eighteen, they were still in my daily life because of . . . business reasons.”
He wanted to press—this business, whatever it was, was a key part to understanding her past. But he knew she wouldn’t give him the specifics. She’d shut down completely if he insisted.
She’d have to share that when she was ready. He couldn’t force it.
“So you finally realized what was going on about two years ago?”
She nodded against his chest. “Yes. How did you know that?”
“Your age came up when I ran you through the system. Twenty-eight.” He hoped the reminder wouldn’t cause her to withdraw.
“Yeah. Two years ago. And even then, I wasn’t actually smart enough to figure it out. I only did because Cheryl and Nicholas left, and my body freaked out and went into complete withdrawal. Doctors had to explain to me what was going on because I had no idea. I was an idiot.”
He trailed his fingers up and down her arm. “For trusting someone who was supposed to have your back? No, that’s on them.”
“You sound like you have personal experience.”
He didn’t like to talk about how stupid he’d been with Janeen, but she’d opened up, so he could too. “Nothing like what you went through. But I was married back when I was in the army.”
She stiffened. “You were
? I didn’t know.”
He shrugged. “Janeen and I divorced five years ago, so I don’t talk about it much. We were married three years.”
“What happened?”
He wasn’t sure exactly how to explain this without getting into details about who his father was. He didn’t want to do that. Mentioning the governor would only muddy the waters. He wasn’t sure how to phrase the story of his divorce.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I know it’s super hypocritical of me to butt into your business.”
He squeezed her closer against him. “No, I don’t feel that way at all. I just . . . I was an idiot, that’s all.”
“Seems like you’re in good company.”
The smile in her voice made it easier to talk about. “Janeen and my father are . . . in business together, have been for a while. They’re sort of partners. When I got out of the army and made it clear I had no intention of going into the family business, that I was going to be part of Linear Tactical instead, that was basically the end of our marriage.”
“Oh. That stinks.”
“Worst part was that I decided I wanted to try to fight for our relationship. That I’d taken vows, and I wanted to honor those. I told Zac and Finn I wouldn’t be a part of Linear, and I was reconsidering going into the business like she and my dad wanted. I took some leave and came home so we could work something out.”
He stopped and bent his neck to the side to crack it and try to release the tension at the base of his skull. He hadn’t said these words out loud like this to anyone ever. Including the Linear guys. They hadn’t needed details, they’d just gotten drunk with him when he’d told them he was getting a divorce.
“I found Janeen in bed with someone else.”
“Ouch.”
He shrugged. “I guess. She’s married to him now, and he’s probably a much better fit for her and her career goals. Ends up she had only married me for my . . . business contacts. Specifically, Dad.”
“And he’s still working with her despite what she did?” Her indignation on his behalf was heartwarming.