by KL Donn
Just like that. As if the test weren’t forty percent of their final grade. He tossed his feet up on his desk while reading some sports magazine.
An MMA fighter on the cover.
Her blood boiled, and she was hurt and pissed off all over again.
Stupid men.
Letting the pain consume that part of her mind, she concentrated on the equations in front of her.
Right angles.
Unknown theories.
Pie squared.
A dozen variables.
All equations she wished she could concentrate on as the throbbing in her leg and hip picked up again. Sitting still wasn’t going to help her any either.
Suffering through the exam, Hayes felt she might have done better than she thought she would by the time the first hour was up, and she was handing the paper over.
“I’m going home,” she whispered.
“Go to physio, Hayes,” he told her without looking up.
The MMA glaring at her as she walked out of the class.
Levi foolishly sat parked in front of Hayes’ house for nearly an hour. She had him tied up in knots, and he didn't like it. She was quickly becoming a habit he couldn’t, or maybe wouldn’t quit.
When Tuesday rolled around, he found himself in the same spot, only earlier. Hoping to catch her before she went to school.
Armed with double chocolate chip muffins and green tea—Soph swore she’d like it—he sat on the hood of his Charger and was waiting for her at seven a.m. By the time seven thirty rolled around and she still hadn’t come out, he thought he might be too late, period. Maybe she was one of those people who liked arriving at school hours before it started. Maybe she saw him and was hoping he’d go away.
“Can I help you, young man?” An older man had come out from behind the detached garage with garbage cans in tow. Standing straighter, he figured he must be Hayes’ father.
Levi walked over to the gentleman. “Hi, I was waiting for Hayes,” he explained.
The man looked him up and down like a bug under a microscope; a feeling he wasn’t used to. “You’re aware she’s in high school, right?”
Why did everyone have to keep bringing that damn fact up?
“Painfully so,” he admitted.
“Aren’t you a little old for her?”
“I don’t know.” It’s something he was struggling with.
The man watched Levi for a full minute before finally offering, “Come on in, she’ll be up by now.”
“Great!” He cheered inwardly. Offering a hand, he introduced himself. “I’m Levi Hogan.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Hogan. I’m Eric, Hayes’ father.” Following behind the man, they entered the small house. Framed photos dotted nearly every wall and surface.
Pictures of Hayes at varying ages, of her parents.
The one that really caught his eye was of Hayes hugging another man, a look of worship on her face. Had to be a few years old.
“That’s Ryder,” Eric said from beside him.
“She’s mentioned him.” He recalled briefly.
“She has?” Disbelief laced her father’s question.
He studied the man, really looked deep, and what he saw made Levi believe this family held just as many secrets as Sophia’s had. Only theirs looked to be more painful than shocking.
“Only briefly,” Levi said. “Who is he?”
Before an answer could be given, he heard a woman’s voice. “Eric? I thought you’d… Oh, hello?” The woman’s greeting sounded more like a question.
“Andrea, this is Levi. He’s here to see Hayes,” Eric explained.
“Ma’am.” He nodded his head in greeting.
“I don’t think so,” she blurted out, shocking both him and Eric.
“I beg your pardon?” He had to have misunderstood her.
A storm brewed in her eyes as she told him, “Hayes isn’t interested.”
“Mom?” He heard her call.
“I’ll be right there, honey!” she responded back.
He detected pain in Hayes’ voice, though. Worry raced to the forefront of his mind. “What’s wrong with her?” He wasn’t thinking as he rushed past them to see Hayes with a brace attached to one forearm as she was trying to make her way down the stairs. “What the hell happened?” He didn’t mean to sound so angry.
“What are you doing here?” She tried to sound just as pissed, but he heard the agony underneath.
Climbing the stairs two at a time, he searched her for injuries from feet to head. The bags under her eyes spoke of the pain she was in as well as her pale features. Trembling in one leg told him where it stemmed from.
Scooping her up into his arms, she protested, “Levi!”, as he carried her down the hall to the door that held a sign showcasing her name in Olympic rings.
He smirked. His girl was going for gold. He liked it.
Pushing through the entrance, he could hear the footsteps of her parents scurrying up the stairs as he lay her on her mattress. Sitting beside her hip, he asked her again, “What happened?”
“She overdid it,” her mother answered him.
The mutiny on Hayes’ face that was aimed at the woman had him smiling.
“I’m fine,” she snapped at everyone in the room.
“Obviously not,” he snapped right back.
“Go away, Levi,” she told him, refusing to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered low enough that only she would hear. Her gaze finally darted to his, and he saw her on the cusp of tears. “Don’t cry, sugar.”
“Hayes?” her mother questioned.
“We’re okay, Mom.”
Her parents left the room and quiet settled over them as they watched each other. He was fascinated by her strong, yet soft, personality. She was always throwing him for a loop.
“Wanna talk about it?” He wasn’t asking about anything specific but figured it could cover just about anything.
“I pushed myself too hard. I shouldn’t have done it, and now I’m paying the price.”
“What accident?” He knew she’d know what he was referring to as soon as he said the words.
“That,” she said pointedly, “I don’t want to talk about.” Anguish lurked in her gaze, more now than when he’d first run her down in the park.
“I’m sorry about Saturday,” he told her, hoping they could retain some sort of relationship. It killed him that she was in high school. His biggest fear being what people would think.
Not of him. He couldn’t give two shits what anyone thought of him other than his mother. But what they’d say about her.
Maybe they wouldn’t comment about her specifically; maybe it would be directed more towards him. He had a feeling, however, that no matter the rumor, it would still hurt her.
“About what?” she barked. “Making me feel used after getting you off or rejecting me like I was nothing after making me promise to stay away from Dustin?” That name made Levi growl involuntarily.
Her distress had him closing his eyes.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he clarified.
“Yeah, well, it’s probably best this way, anyhow. No false promises.” Things weren’t going how he had hoped. “Just go, Levi.” Her voice sounded desolate, and he hated it.
He had done this to her.
Whether she said it or not, he knew he was the reason she’d overworked herself. He was the reason she was sad.
He had to fix this. He just didn’t know how.
With that thought, he granted Hayes her request and left the house.
It physically hurt to see Levi.
Hayes shouldn’t be so invested in him; nevertheless, she couldn’t help it.
There was a greater force at play, and she was struggling to fight her way away from the feelings he evoked by just being in the same vicinity as her. She became a bundle of hormones and not the rationally-minded woman she strived to be.
When he’d seen her on the stairs struggling to even walk, his
pain had been just as intense as hers. His eyes shined with regret as he took her in.
The minute he’d picked her up and carried her to her room, her body screamed warmth and comfort in his embrace. She both hated and loved it.
Her mind hated him.
Her body sung for him.
His flinch as she accused him of using her nearly had her caving in to hear what he had to say. But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t allow herself to be sucked into a relationship with a man who would resent her because she was still in school. It didn’t matter that she’d have graduated by now if only the accident hadn’t happened. But it did, and she didn’t, so it apparently meant everything.
Another time, another place, and maybe they could have had something.
As it stood, she hoped she didn’t have to see him again.
She had to keep reminding herself that his leaving was a good thing. That she needed him to go so she could focus on school, on getting her body back into shape. Her heart needed to shut the hell up and quiet down its temper tantrum.
Concentrating on her new goals was imperative.
He was too sinful a distraction.
“Honey?” Her mom, bless her heart, was a nosey busybody.
“I’m fine, Mom.” That seemed to be her standard response, and if the look on her mother’s face were any indication, she’d figured out it was code for back off.
“I want you happy again, Hayes.”
Turning on her side, her back to her parent, she watched the tree outside her window billow in the wind.
“I miss your laughter.”
Her eyes misted.
“The way you used to storm through the house with those clunky sneakers on, teasing us about one thing or another.”
A tear rolled lazily down her cheek.
“I miss you, Hayes.” Her mother’s words were fraught with emotion.
More sentiment than she wanted to feel.
“I miss Ryder.” God did she ever. “I miss running.”
“I know you do, honey. We all do.” Even though she could feel the tears in the older woman’s voice, she was still doing the mom thing: the comforting, the loving.
Hayes didn’t need it, nor did she want it.
“I miss having hopes and dreams.” Her words came out bitter. Angry. Accusatory. She had no one to nearby to accuse, though, no blame to place on anyone but the idiots who hit her. And herself for going out for a run on a road she’d known better than to have been on alone, especially in the dark.
“I’m sorry, Hayes.” The whisper followed by the click of her door closing felt so final. As if they were giving up on her. The bitterness eating inside of her said she didn’t need them.
Her heart screamed she couldn’t blame them.
Hayes had been nothing but angry and irrational since it all happened. She used to be someone who volunteered with local youth groups tutoring younger kids. She was a functioning member of society. Now, she was nothing but a rage-filled hormonal teenager.
She hated herself so much for twisting the knife in her mother’s back before basically kicking her to the curb.
Chapter Five
You were my hardest goodbye.
Leaving Hayes, walking out her front door, it was the hardest thing Levi had ever done. There was so much more to that girl than he’d have ever thought. She was a contradiction tossed in anger and wrapped in sadness. She carried more pain than he should even consider getting involved with; regardless, he couldn’t help himself. Even with Casper screaming in his ear at the gym, he couldn’t shake her from his mind.
“Levi!” Casp called.
“What? Why the fuck are you yelling?” he growled back.
“Because your head’s not in the fucking game. Get it there, or you’re gonna get your ass kicked, boy.”
“Whatever.” He ignored the stout man, continuing to hit the fist bag above him. He could beat a man’s ass to the ground and still think of his girl.
“You let this chick take over your mind, and you won’t be the next hot thing,” Casper grumbled beside him.
He’s right. Levi knew he was. Doesn’t mean he didn’t want to deck the man for insinuating she’s a distraction.
“Hey, Knuckles!” Looking over to the other side of the gym, he spotted Cam, one of the guys he frequently sparred with. “Wanna hop in the ring?”
“Bad idea,” Casp whispered from his side.
Scowling at the man, he told Cam, “You bet!”
Just because he’s got her on his mind doesn’t mean he can’t do his damn job.
Taping his knuckles and slipping on a pair of gloves, Casper strapped on his headgear just as Cam stepped through the ropes of the ring. Following suit, Casper in his corner, Cam’s guy in his own, they tapped gloves and hits were exchanged.
Levi quickly realized his head wasn’t in it and took a kidney shot that had him gasping for breath. When Cam went in for an uppercut, he was able to deflect until the man hit him with a right rapidly followed by his left, and soon enough, Levi was trapped against the ropes with Casper yelling for him to fight back, to push the man off.
For the first time since he began to fight, Levi was not into it. He had found a new ambition. A new goal to attain. He hadn’t even realized what it was he was doing or looking for when he’d started training, but now he felt like he could have what he’d unknowingly been searching for.
“Levi, you cocksucker, get your fucking head in the damn game!” Casper was yelling again.
With renewed ambition, he fought free of Cam’s blows, flying out with his own jabs to the kidneys and gut. Hitting cheap shot after cheap shot until the man was slightly dazed. When he wobbled on his feet, Levi knuckled down and cast one last blow to the temple, laying him flat on the mat.
“Yeah, baby!” Casper cheered from the side of the ring, climbing in with a water bottle for him.
Removing his gear, Levi said, “I gotta go. Got shit to do.” He needed to talk to Nox.
“What?” Casper’s jaw dropped in shock. “You’ve barely been here for a few hours.”
He shrugged. “Life, man.”
“Is this about that girl from a couple days ago?” Levi froze at his words.
“What about her?” His voice was even.
“If it’s pussy you need, it’s pussy you’ll get. But don’t waste your time chasing tail, Levi, you got shit to get done.”
“Don’t ever talk about her like that,” he snapped, stepping closer to his friend, his entire demeanor threatening.
“Okay, okay.” Casp raised his hands in surrender. “But can we keep with the training? You have a huge fight this weekend, and you need to be ready. She’s a distraction.”
Levi had tried out for the preliminaries to a real MMA fight; something he could talk about with his family. Something they could be proud of him for. Sponsors would be there, and he knew he had to be on his game. The best he’d ever been.
“Fine. Let’s do this shit.”
Casp had a grueling routine set out for him as he took him through his paces, lined up a new diet for Levi to stick to, and spent the entire time trying to convince him to take one of the ring bitches for a ride.
Levi wasn’t biting, and that was killing the other man.
“Why, Lys, why would you do that?” Hayes cringed at the whine in her voice as she asked her friend about her confronting Levi at his work.
“The dick deserved it.”
“But then he came here, and he met my parents.” She couldn’t stress that enough. Her parents were full of questions about the man now.
“I’m so sorry.” Her friend flounced down on her bed. “He needed to know he was a complete tool.”
She couldn’t argue that truth but seeing the man hadn’t done her any favors.
“Are you coming back to school tomorrow?” Lys asked her.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Hanging around the house with her parents walking on egg shells wasn’t helping to improve her mood any. She figured getting h
er last couple of finals out the way before graduation would at least distract her.
“Good, it’s not the same without you. Them hussies keep creeping up on me without you around.” By hussies she meant cheerleaders. They had always wanted Lys in their fold because of her gymnastics background, but it was the end of the year, so it seemed weird they were still trying.
Lys left shortly after they planned for Brett to pick her up in the morning, so she didn’t have to stress her knee more than necessary. She hadn’t run since Sunday, and it was now Wednesday. The urge to move, to lose herself in the workout was so strong she actually had to force herself to stay home.
Even with the pain she felt, the swelling in her entire thigh, she wanted to go. Running was her drug; she wouldn’t deny it. Getting up from her bed, she limped over to the window and gazed out towards the mountains that stretched out in the distance as the clouds drifted lazily through the sky.
Daydreams of success had been born on similar clouds over an ocean. It was hard to let them go, but she knew it was time. She had to start moving forward with her life. Learn to live again.
Leaning her head against the warm window pane, her eyes closed, her mind played new dreams through her mind, a fresh start brewing as her lids opened. Only to be met by the cool blue gaze of Levi. His suffering seemed to match her own. She hadn’t heard from him since kicking him out two days ago. She was surprised he’d returned.
He didn’t move from his position against his car, and her expression never changed. He was just there. Watching and maybe waiting. At least, her foolish heart hoped he was.
Her memories recalled the pain he’d caused her, and she turned away, shutting him out of her mind and life. She couldn’t let her heart open to him again.
Crawling back into bed, Hayes fought off visions of him holding her, for hours, before sleep finally claimed her.
Restlessness throughout the night left her feeling more exhausted when she woke up than when she fell to sleep. Her mom’s light knock on the door caused her head to pound from the growing ache in her temples.
“Hayes? Sweetheart, I’ve got breakfast going for you.” She gave her daughter a smile.