She tilted her gaze toward the bright blue sky. “I believe I was one of the lucky ones who hid my condition quite well.”
She smiled when she saw him stiffen. Oh, he was a dear. He looked handsome and dangerous, but he was not one to talk about emotions too much, or babies.
She peeked up at him, smiling. “Do you not think so?”
His cheeks turned pink when he turned toward her “Madam, I believe you are trying to embarrass me, and I believe you are doing a deuced good job.”
Jane laughed as they entered Hemmingly. “I was testing you. Besides, I thought I would lighten the mood. I must take my herbs now, then take a nap. Later, Mrs. Hobbs will come see me. And tomorrow, the doctor.”
The captain gave her a neat bow. “I am at your service. If there is anything else you need, please, let me know.”
Jane bent over and kissed his cheek. If the man’s cheeks were pink before, they were even pinker now. “To move you and your staff, along with Mrs. Hobbs, near Hemmingly, just for me, is beyond words. I can never thank you enough.”
The captain jerked, embarrassed by the praise. “I am only renting the Fromwell Place, dear lady. That is all. Bath was becoming such a bore.”
Jane nodded, wondering if Agatha had asked him to watch over them too. Maybe Jared had a hand in it as well. But it did not matter. Captain Argyle had been a perfect gentlemen, and she had developed a great fondness for the man.
“I see through you, Captain. There is a very big heart hidden beneath that masculine pride. But I vow, I will find you a woman worthy of you. It just may take me some time.”
He swallowed, looking a bit panicky. “Please, I beg you, no matchmaking.”
Jane’s blue eyes twinkled. “I was thinking about the school in Bath that you helped Milli and I purchase. Perhaps there might be some young woman there who catches your fancy.”
He stiffened. “Babes in the woods, little lady.”
Jane burst out laughing. “I would never bring you a child for you wife.”
He paled and immediately took his leave.
She thought she heard him mutter a curse about good-hearted women marrying off every single man they had met.
A minute later, Jane climbed the stairs, her heart fluttering with a cause. Yes, indeed. She would find a nice lady for Captain Argyle. He had allowed Mrs. Hobbs to treat her. She owed the captain her life and the baby’s. It was a small price to pay for the man whom she loved like a brother.
But her heart ached for Roderick.
She sat at her desk, dipped her pen in the ink and wrote Roderick a letter, telling him about their baby. Even if he never read this—
A sob escaped her, and she put her head in her hands. “Oh, Roderick, you have to come back. You just have to.”
Jared stood over Roderick and smirked. “You, Your Grace, are a sight. All I can say is thank goodness you were not shot in the heart. Jane would have had my head.”
“You have had much more to say than that,” Roderick said with a snarl. Pain lanced through his back like a thousand knives stabbing him. He was recuperating in the grand bedchambers of some Parisian hotel and Jared was laughing at him.
“I cannot walk,” he said, scowling. “You find that amusing?”
Jared shrugged and pulled up a chair. “But you can talk. That makes up for much.”
“Confound it! If I could stand, I would box your ears. I have no idea why I even let you marry my sister!”
Jared’s expression became serious. “Devereaux’s son is dead. Your shot took him down. You saved me. I failed to see him in the alley. I owe you my life.”
Roderick knew Jared would have done the same for him. He did not want this man’s praise or the man’s guilt. Roderick was not certain he would walk again, and neither of them would discuss it. They circled the question as if it were a loaded cannon ready to explode. Not talking about it was fine with Roderick. He wondered if Jane were better off with Argyle, after all.
“Yes, well, I saved your life,” Roderick snapped. “Now, get out of here and get me a blasted glass of wine!” He had been a monster the past week, especially living on lemonade and broth. But Jared had taken it all in stride.
His friend frowned. “Sorry, no wine for you. Doctors’ orders. You will walk. I will see to it.”
Roderick raised a black brow in surprise. Ah, finally the subject of him walking again was out in the open. “Do not feel guilty. I would have done it for anyone. Believe me, you are not that special!” And that was the blackest lie Roderick had ever told. He loved this man like a brother. “Besides,” he growled. “It was either you or me. I figured Emily would kill me if you died, so I was saving two lives with my efforts. Yours and mine.”
Jared couldn’t control his laughter. “I reasoned that.” Then he looked serious, his jaw tightening. “The doctor said a few more days, then you can travel back to England.”
“I won’t be going with you. I will not see Jane like this!”
“I don’t think you have a choice, Your Grace.”
Roderick stared at the sunlight shining through his window. Jane. What was she doing now? How could he return to her half a man? “Oh, I have a choice. I am not going back to England until I can walk. Is that clear?”
Jared shot from his seat. “Ah, I see now. You think Jane won’t have you if you cannot walk, is that it?”
Roderick said nothing. It was not that Jane would not want him. She would smother him. But if she were not married to him, she could be free. She would not have to wait on him hand and foot. She deserved a better life than watching him wither away.
He lifted a proud chin and boldly met Jared’s hard gaze with one of his own. “There is a good chance I may never walk again. Do you understand?”
“Oh, I understand. You, Roderick, my friend, are a coward.”
Roderick sat up and winced. “You dare say that?” he growled.
Jared laughed. “There, you see. You can move. Now wipe that scowl off your face and ready yourself for England. We leave in three days.”
Roderick clenched his fists. “I will not go to Jane half a man. You can bring me to England, but you had best let me heal.”
Jared started for the door saying nothing.
Roderick gripped his covers. “Jared.”
The man turned. “What?”
“I am asking you as a friend,” he said, his voice cracking. “Confound it. Give me a chance to get well. Think about it. If you were in my shoes…”
Jared’s lips thinned, but Roderick could see the pity in his friend’s eyes. Well, blast it all! He would take pity right now. He would take anything, as long as Jared kept him away from Jane.
“What if there are other matters at home that you need your attention?” Jared’s words were laced with disapproval and something more.
Roderick sank against his pillow, his brows beading with sweat. “Nothing needs my attention. I have a steward for that.”
“What if Jane needs you?” Jared snapped. “What then?”
Roderick clenched his teeth against the pain. “Jane is a strong woman. She will wait for me if I wish to return to her.”
Jared slapped a hand against his thigh. “What if something has happened to her? Would you want to know?”
Panic raced through Roderick’s blood. He sat up on his elbows, fighting against the pain. “Is she hurt? Tell me!”
Jared shook his head. “No, she is not hurt.”
“Ill?”
“No, she is not ill.”
Heat almost suffocated Roderick. But he had to know about Jane. “Then, what the blazes is wrong with her?”
“It is not my story to tell.”
Roderick turned and retched into the pail beside his bed.
Jared hurried across the room, cursing to himself. “You’re as hot as Hades.”
Roderick looked up and gave him a sick smile. “That is rather hot, I would say.”
Jared growled, concern growing in his dark brown eyes. “I shall fetch the
doctor.”
Roderick closed his eyes. He knew it was not good. But it did not matter. As long as Jane was safe. But what was Jared trying to tell him?
“Roderick, are you still with me?” Jared’s troubled voice drifted to his ears.
Roderick wanted to smile, but the pain was floating away from his body, only to be replaced by a strange numbness. He was thinking it felt rather nice. Was he dying? Perhaps, heaven was not so bad after all. But what about Jane? Jane. The thought of her made him fight. No, he needed to see her again. Tell her he was sorry! Tell her he loved her! He had been too stubborn. Too tyrannical. His pride was hurt, and he had hurt her. Jane, forgive me!
The sweet blackness was closing in on him just as another thought bombarded his mind. Perhaps, he was not going to heaven at all. Perhaps, he had not lived his life the way he should have. Perhaps, he would leave Jane forever.
He thought he heard someone scream.
Oh, God, don’t let me die yet. Let me see her one more time.
“Jane,” he whispered, barely recalling a pair of beautiful blue eyes before he sank into total blackness.
Chapter Fourteen
Another six weeks had passed at Hemmingly Hall, and there had been no word from Roderick. Jane could not bear it anymore. She walked downstairs and heard Emily and Agatha playing with the children in the drawing room.
Jane frowned. The thought of laughter and games when her entire life seemed upside down was too much. Agatha had returned from London that morning. In fact, the older lady had been gone almost the entire time Jane and Emily had been staying at Hemmingly. There was no doubt that Agatha had been working at Whitehall. Had she news of Roderick? No, she would have told her already. Surely, the lady would know if he was dead. No news was probably good news.
Oh, Roderick, Jane thought sadly. What have we done to each other?
Heartbroken, Jane spun around and strode back up stairs, clasping a hand to her stomach, feeling a sudden twinge. It was nothing, she thought, only the pain of missing Roderick.
With a sob, she entered her bedchamber and grabbed Roderick’s neckcloth from beneath her pillow. “Oh, Roderick,” she said, muffling her face against the smell of bayberry soap and sandalwood. “Where are you?”
She threw herself on her bed, and her body shook with grief as tears flowed down her cheeks.
A few minutes later, she wiped the wetness from her face, grabbed a few pillows and propped herself on her side. She fingered Roderick’s neckcloth, recalling the last time he wore it. It had been at Milli’s and Marcus’s wedding.
The couple was to return soon. Their holiday had been longer then planned. They had decided to take a grand tour of not just Italy, but Europe too. However, the thought of greeting the newlyweds made Jane miserable. The happy duo reminded her too much of her past when she and Roderick were inseparable.
“Goodness, what brought this on?”
Jane looked up to see Agatha pushing past the door.
Jane sniffed, not able to hide her recent cry. She was sure her nose was red and her eyes were bloodshot. “I don’t think he’s coming back.”
Agatha sat on the end of the bed and frowned. She took Jane’s chin in her gentle hands. Her gray eyes were filled with love. “Look at me, child.”
Jane frowned. “I have yet to hear a word from him. I am so scared.”
Agatha’s expression softened. “I have heard something. He is alive. But still in France. I had nothing to tell you until today. Forgive me for leaving you for so long, but there were things to be done. I wanted to be in the thick of things…well, if anything went wrong.”
Jane rested her head against Agatha’s ample bosom. “I know you are quite involved at Whitehall. I know there are things you cannot tell me. But I prayed he would be all right. I prayed night and day.”
Agatha touched her arm. “Jane, there is more to it than that. I have other news too.”
The worried tone in Agatha’s voice made Jane lift her head. Her blood turned cold. “He is hurt?”
Agatha nodded. Tears came to the older woman’s eyes.
Jane sat up, her fingers clutching Roderick’s neckcloth. “Tell me.”
Agatha let out a shaky sigh.
Jane grabbed her hand. “I am his wife, no matter what anyone says. God was our witness that day.”
Agatha’s face crumpled, and she seemed to be weighing her words. “There are a few things I need to tell you, dearest. Let me start with the most important. Roderick was shot in the back.”
Jane’s heartbeat drummed in her ears. Shot in the back?
The very thought of Roderick lying in some bed, not able to move, horrified her. At Waterloo, her friend’s cousin had been shot in the back, and the man had been confined to his bed for the rest of his life.
Her throat became tight with grief. Roderick! Roderick!
She put a fist to her mouth, thinking about his pain. But she must not pity him. It would kill him. She would be strong. She would do whatever she needed to do.
“Jared?” she asked, holding her breath, hoping Emily still had a husband.
Agatha nodded. “Jared is alive. Roderick saved his life.”
Jane eased out a weak smile. “I see. Where is Roderick now? I must go to him.”
“He is recuperating.”
Jane jumped off the bed and winced as she held her belly. “Tell me where. I must go to him.” She started for her wardrobe. “I must call my maid. She can start packing.”
Agatha stood. “Jane, dear, that is out of the question.
Jane spun around, frowning. “But I am much healthier now.”
But she knew that determined look on Agatha’s face. With a sinking heart, she also knew that Agatha was correct. She could not travel and put this baby in jeopardy.
“I think you realize the danger,” Agatha said softly. “But your heart is in the right place.”
Jane felt her world spinning out of control. She sank into the needlepoint chair beside her looking glass. She felt helpless. “But…he needs me.”
Agatha clenched her hands and looked away.
Jane’s chest tightened. “What else?”
Agatha gulped. “He cannot walk.”
Jane felt the bile climb up her throat. Her hands tightened into fists as she fought back the pain. “He has no wish to see me, is that it?”
“Men,” Agatha replied, her mouth grim. “All proud and arrogant. Especially that duke of yours.”
Jane shot from her seat, tears spilling over her lids. Her heart felt as if it had been ripped from her chest. Roderick didn’t want to see her. Did he think her so shallow she would turn her back on him? Anger sliced through her. “He is not my duke,” she snapped, too overwhelmed with emotion to know what she was saying. “Not anymore.”
“That’s what you think.”
Regretting her harsh words, Jane threw her hands to her rounded hips and glared at her aunt. Her mind could barely comprehend what was happening. “I will not be kept from him. I don’t care what he says.”
“He will not see you,” the older lady said, frowning. “Besides, as I said, if my information is correct, Roderick is still in France.”
“I would think if he was hurt, he would come home.”
“He is supposed to return to England soon, but you must remember, he knows nothing about the baby. He still needs to heal.”
Jane’s jaw slackened in surprise. “And you believe that would make him worse? I would think he would be excited.”
“He would worry about you, dearest. Worry more than he is doing right now. I daresay, in your condition, you cannot travel. France is out of the question. Even ten miles from here may jeopardize your condition, and you know it. Besides, Roderick would take one look at you and be worried sick that you were going to die.”
Jane frowned. “I see.”
“Do you?” Agatha asked, walking across the bedchambers and resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “The best thing you can do now is to take care of his child.�
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“But if I am not married to him, and it is a boy, it will not be his heir.”
Agatha stared at her, then hesitated.
Jane narrowed her gaze. Was there something else the older lady wasn’t telling her?
“Do not worry about being wed to the man. I, uh, will take care of that. It could be a mistake, for all we know.”
“A mistake?” Jane asked warily.
Agatha cleared her throat. “Yes, well, you stay well, and we will see what we can do for that stubborn duke of yours.”
Jane had no idea how Agatha could take care of their marital situation. And a mistake? She began to wonder if the lady had interfered from the very beginning. It didn’t matter now, though. Roderick was ill, and he needed her. She would approach Agatha about the subject on another day when she could think straight.
“Do you—do you think he will ever walk again?” she asked, her bottom lip trembling. “I will love him no matter what. But Roderick is so proud, I fear this will crush him.”
“I don’t know, child.” Suddenly, the lady’s eyes lit with mischief. “Perhaps we can send Mrs. Hobbs to Roderick and see what she can do?”
Jane’s face brightened. “Of course, why did I not think of that?”
Agatha frowned. “I was only jesting, dear. If you recall, Roderick and the captain do not get along very well these days.”
Jane chuckled. “You are a wicked lady, Agatha.”
Agatha’s smile was shaky. “I am wicked, dearest. And there is something else I must tell you. I have a confession to make.”
“Oh, dear, what did you do?” Jane asked warily.
“I only did it because I love you. But you must not judge me. I could not tell you earlier because things did not work out like I thought they would, and then I thought you might keep me from the baby.”
A wave of anxiety skittered down Jane’s spine. “I don’t even know if I wish to hear this.”
“Well, truly, Jane, sometimes one needs a little help in a marriage when one has a husband as stubborn as Roderick. And dearest, you must not look at me like that.”
The Duke's Bride: Book 5 (The Clearbrooks) Page 15