by S M Mala
‘Why?’ she asked, looking offended. ‘You don’t think I do?’
‘Not really.’
‘Yes, your frank honesty. I forgot about that.’ Esme thought for a moment. ‘I’ll get you work and you sort out my garden with free advice.’
‘What sort of theme were you thinking of?’
‘Something where I don’t have to do much upkeep, and it looks wild but tame.’ She then frowned. ‘I wanted a meadow sort of look but unfortunately it didn’t work.’
‘Really?’ Leon smiled. ‘The garden’s a little small for that but I can see what you mean.’
‘I don’t want to prune or replant anything, just let it grow. Evergreens are good and...’
He wasn’t listening.
Just watching her talk.
Esme was lovely.
‘Gorgeous,’ he said looking at her and noticed she stopped talking. ‘That sort of look would be gorgeous.’
‘Do you think?’
That’s not what he meant and could see she hadn’t cottoned on.
‘Hello!’ someone shouted.
In walked a rather large man, with an extremely red face.
‘Carl,’ she said, her smile disappearing. ‘You nearly got us all killed. I called Mrs Jenkins and told her what happened.’
‘Did you say it was my nephew?’ he guiltily ask. ‘Bloody hell, don’t tell anyone.’
‘I didn’t say anything. All I did say is that they weren’t going to get paid, and it would cost the same amount to get it fixed.’
Leon was about to disagree, knowing it would be much less, and then noticed Esme quickly glance at him.
‘Here’s one of my associates, Leon, who is a fantastic electrician. He has done some major projects for me and is a busy man. Luckily, he was kind enough to drop everything and come here.’ She shook her head in dismay, and Leon could see the man was breaking out into a nervous sweat. ‘He has a list of what he can do. Anything he charges, I get ten percent as an introduction fee.’
‘Sure Esme,’ Carl said, looking straight at Leon. ‘Can you do the job? Is there a lot to fix?’
‘I can get it sorted out soon enough.’ Leon then looked at Esme bending over to pick up her tools. ‘But it might take a few weeks to make sure everything is okay, once the decorating’s complete.’
‘Mrs Jenkins needs light fittings and things like that sorted. I’m sure you can put the extra costs on. You don’t mind, do you, Carl?’ Esme stood up and grinned at the red-faced man. ‘See, everything has worked out perfectly.’
She then looked up at the ceiling.
‘Are you sure you’re not going to plaster that?’ she said pointing up to it. ‘I don’t think it looks very secure, you know. When I was removing the paper, dust was falling down, and there are cracks.’
‘It’s fine,’ shrugged Carl and Leon noticed Esme didn’t look convinced.
‘I know Mrs Jenkins and I hope you’re not trying to cut corners.’
‘I’d never do that!’
‘Really?’ Looking totally unimpressed, Esme grabbed her bag. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘Are you happy to sort it out? I’ll pay you top notch,’ Carl said, looking relieved that Esme had left the room.
‘I’d love to work here for a couple weeks. I would.’
He heard her banging about before returning to the room.
‘I need to see your invoice,’ she said to Leon. ‘So I can charge my ten percent.’ She mischievously smiled behind Carl’s back. ‘Can you give me a lift, please? I didn’t bring my van today.’
‘Sure,’ Leon replied, shaking Carl’s hand. ‘Good to meet you. I’ll come in first thing tomorrow and start sorting this out. I daren’t ask if the work was signed off.’
‘Listen, if you can repair and sign it off, that would be great. We’ve got another four weeks on the job, and I need it perfect.’
‘I’m also a landscape gardener,’ he said, peering at the large space outside. ‘Has that been quoted for?’
‘I think Esme’s going to make a mint out of me. Could you quote for that too?’
‘It’d be my pleasure.’
Leon walked out of the house and noticed Esme was standing by his van. She turned to smile at him before saying, ‘Now I can pay you for plants. It’s all working out perfectly.’
And right then, Leon eyed her up and down, thinking the same thing.
‘It’s really bad.’
Esme was looking at Alicia for some reassurance. ‘Don’t you think it’s bad?
‘I think it’s called fancying the arse off someone you can’t have. Simple.’
‘I keep looking at him and even Shona noticed. She never notices anything.’ Looking around the restaurant Alicia’s husband owned, Esme didn’t know what to do about Leon. ‘And he must notice that I’m checking him out. He’s only been in the house for a week, and I’ve nearly fallen off my ladder about a dozen times.’
‘Sounds like you’re turning into a gay stalker,’ her friend grinned, before munching on salad leaves. ‘Can’t you just keep away from him?’
‘He looks so good in his shorts and t-shirt with his logo ‘Shoots and Leaves’ on it. For someone who works with his hands, his fingernails are spotless and so is he. Even when he came back from doing Ralph’s garden, he looked so clean. And his smell?’ Esme wrapped her spaghetti around her fork, again and again. ‘I keep sniffing him.’
‘Maybe if you shag Ralph, you’ll see sense. Or you’ll pass out from the sheer hell of it,’ whispered Alicia, shaking her head from side to side. ‘I have the internet dating agency details if you want it.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘I met Alberto through it.’
‘And had you only walked into this place, it would have saved you meeting all those dweebs,’ Esme replied, pursing her lips. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me. How come I fancy someone I can’t have or who wouldn’t even want me if he were straight? He can’t be more than thirty-three or something. I’m old enough to be his mother.’ She put down her fork. ‘I must be lonelier than I realise.’
‘Or in desperate need of a shag.’
‘Probably,’ she sadly admitted and sipped her water. ‘I think I’m going to fix Leon up with Alfie. That way my son can be happy and I get Mali as a…’ Esme noticed Alicia was going to laugh.
‘Say it. I dare you.’
‘No.’
‘Come on. You’re going to have to say it one day.’
Putting a napkin over her mouth she mumbled, ‘Grandmother.’ Suddenly Esme felt queasy and sipped her water again.
‘And at Christmas you can ogle your son in law, bounce your surrogate grand-daughter on your knee, and hope Alfie never finds out you’re lusting for his lover. Happy families!’
Starting to eat her food, Esme was deeply troubled about her attraction to Leon. She felt stuck and a little confused. Even after she saw Ethan kiss him on the cheek and Leon admitted he had gone to the flat for sex.
‘Do you think I need to speak to someone professional about this?’ Esme whispered, leaning closer. ‘I try not to look out the window just in case he’s in his garden. The other day he was working away, sorting out his plants. I knelt down by the window and peeked at him. That’s pretty sad.’
Finishing off her food, Alicia pushed her plate away and smiled at Esme.
‘I think you need to start dating someone, anyone but not Ralph. That’s going to end in tears for you if you have to shag the man.’
‘Okay, send me the details, and I’ll do the dating thing,’ she said, realising that was her only hope.
‘Even better, I’ll fill in the details for you and circulate.’
‘No way! You’ll do something that will make me look appealing.’
‘God knows; I’m happy to lie just to stop you talking about this Leon, believe me!’
After lunch, Esme drove to the house in Hammersmith. She knew no-one would be there, and wanted to have a closer look at the work Carl and his ga
ng had done. Still she was unsure about the plaster on the main living room’s ceiling.
For the time being, she would work on the other rooms.
Taking her tools and moving the ladder, she headed for the study and decided to concentrate on removing the ceiling paper. Once up at the top, she sat down and started to peel away at the layers, which fell off easily mainly due to the age of the wallpaper paste. There were more cracks, not as serious as the ones in the other room. She took some pictures, knowing Carl was cutting corners.
Working away, she forgot what the time was when her mobile started to ring.
It was Oscar Reeves, and she wondered why he was calling.
‘Isn’t it early?’ she asked. ‘And a Saturday.’
‘Hello Esme,’ he replied, starting to laugh. ‘I’ve rung and texted you a few times but you don’t reply.’
‘I did, but you were too busy to see,’ she blatantly lied and put down her scraper. ‘I’ve not heard from you in months.’
‘I know.’
‘Neither has your son. You remember him? The gay one?’ She heard him groan down the phone. ‘And your mother? Did you forget to send her a Christmas card also?’
‘Happy birthday.’
‘And you called just to wind me up, I take it.’
‘You’re very sensitive about your age,’ he laughed.
‘Considering I’ve aged since we divorced, you’ll find I’m coping well with … getting older.’ She closed her eyes. ‘Hello Oscar.’
‘Hello,’ he sighed and she knew he was up to something. ‘Esme, I did think about you.’
‘I bet you did.’
‘Listen to me.’
‘How’s the rich young wife and the straight, but incredibly ugly children you managed to reproduce.’
She grinned saying it, knowing she wasn’t too far off.
His two daughters had inherited the looks of his second wife’s Polish grandfather.
He had character but lacked beauty, as did Oscar’s kids.
‘They’re my flesh and blood,’ he said seriously. ‘And I love them very much but it seems even my good looking DNA couldn’t fight with hers. Then, I did produce Alfie. The kids are sweet, so don’t be mean.’
‘Luckily I’ve never met my son’s half-sisters and neither has he.’
‘And whose fault is that?’
‘So Oscar, how can I help you?’ There was a heavy silence at the other end. ‘That bad?’
‘Esme, I care about you; I still do.’
‘I don’t like the sound of that. Spit it out. I’ve not heard from you in ages.’
‘Two months, and then I saw you six months ago. Do you remember that?’
Closing her eyes, Esme did remember meeting him in London. Again, it didn’t turn out how she expected, which was beginning to become a regular thing. She looked at Leon’s portable screwdriver kit that he had left to the side.
‘What do you want?’ she eventually asked.
‘I’m coming to London soon for a meeting. I want to see you,’ he said quietly.
‘It’s not going to happen again.’
‘But it did and has done for the past ten years.’ He let out a hefty sigh. ‘I don’t feel too good about it, you know.’
‘Then let’s not meet.’
‘I’m still very attracted to you, more than ever. I don’t want to cheat on my wife.’
‘Then don’t, and not with me.’
‘I don’t think it’s cheating.’
‘You make me laugh!’ she said, trying not to get angry. ‘You married someone within months of our divorce and started a family when you moved to the States. Never once did you think how painful it was for me to find out. And Alfie? That’s the only time I’ve ever thought you were cruel. Not to mention how you treat Steph. You’re not who I thought you were.’
‘Her outing, as she calls it, wrecked my father, do you know that? Her choosing not to come back here and preferring to stay with you and Alfie, well, you could imagine what it did to him.’ Oscar was starting to get annoyed, which he always did when the subject of his mother cropped up. ‘I love my son but it didn’t turn out how I expected.’
‘It was easier for you to leave me and turn your back on him than to face up to the fact your son is gay. Plus you didn’t love me that much, and your mother’s a big fat lesbian. Though Steph is not fat and has shed quite a few pounds if you must know.’
‘Erm.’
‘That’s all you’ve got to say? Nothing else?’ Esme looked at the sheets on the floor and shook her head. ‘Oscar, you’re her child. Your sister accepts Steph, why can’t you?’
‘She said it to hurt me.’
‘She told you the truth because she didn’t want Alfie to feel alone. Steph lived a lie and wanted to support him. For that, I will be eternally grateful. You left me. She didn’t.’
‘Esme, I never stopped loving you.’ Just how he said it, she heard the pain in his voice. ‘I’ve made mistakes and I want to make amends. He doesn’t call me, and I don’t know how to make him see I care. He’s my baby. My son.’
Pinprick of tears came to her eyes because she knew Oscar loved Alfie, but Alfie didn’t see it that way. He felt it was a desertion and the handful of visits over the past years had left its toll on her son.
To Alfie, Oscar didn’t care, and Esme never had the heart to tell her son it was down to his sexuality his father made the decision to leave.
Or it could have been a lie and Oscar wanted out from the marriage but Esme didn’t want to know that piece of blatant truth.
She had suspected it.
It was bad enough that Oscar left.
Walked out on her.
It had equally left a deep scar in Esme’s heart.
‘I want to see him when I come over and mum too. I’m thinking about June or July so I can explain it all. He’s a man now, not a child, and I want him to know I love him. I think about him every day. You’ll never know how much I care about Alfie Reeves.’
‘I think I do,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve spent my life caring, loving and protecting my child, all on my own.’
‘And meeting me secretly over the past years when I flew over, so we could make love in the afternoons and all night, or have you forgotten about that? How do you think Steph and Alfie would feel if they knew?’
‘You won’t tell them,’ she whispered, knowing he was now playing the politician ball game. ‘Because if you do, your wife will find out and so will your voters’ then bang goes your chance of ruling the world, governor.’
‘Hello?’
Leon had walked in a few minutes earlier and caught the tail end of Esme’s conversation. Whoever she was talking to, it was intimate and obviously secretive.
‘I’ve got to go. I’ll email you,’ she said, and he walked into the room.
‘I see you like your cockney rhyming slang,’ Leon cheerfully said, looking up and realised Esme was upset.
‘Pardon?’
‘Governor, as you finished off your phone call. I used to say that to all the project managers I worked with when we really meant ‘wanker’. Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ she nodded and he watched her control her breathing before scraping the ceiling. ‘How come you’re here today? It’s Saturday. You should be with Mali. Where is she?’
‘Hijacked by my mother for the day and night, to be returned even more spoilt and indoctrinated with Judaism.’
‘You’re Jewish?’
‘My mother is. I like prawn cocktails and bacon sandwiches. I mix meat and milk and have been known to eat black pudding, which I don’t like. My food’s not kosher, and I had a bar mitzvah when I was twelve. My father got circumcised and converted to Judaism, before he married my mother, to show willing. The poor man says it reduced his manhood but keeps her happy, and he worships Arsenal.’
‘Ouch,’ she said, starting to laugh and Leon could see she needed cheering up.
Esme looked very pretty sitting on top of the ladder, looking do
wn.
‘He tells that little story over dinner, when he’s had a few drinks, much to the dismay of my mother. Dad had to convert for the wedding. The day after, he secretly sloped off to a greasy spoon café to have sausage and bacon for breakfast in celebration of his love for my mum.’
‘Your dad sounds wonderful.’
‘He has his moments.’ Leon walked closer and spotted his screwdriver kit. ‘I forgot this. What are you doing here?’
‘I wanted to get ahead as I’m doing the coffee shift next week, and I’m not sure about the ceilings, to be honest.’ Esme looked up, and Leon just eyed her up. ‘I think the plaster is being held up by the paper and I told Carl to take a closer look. This plastering is the old type, and I think it’s going to fall. It looks okay in this room but the main one? I’m not sure.’
‘If that’s the case, you shouldn’t be here on your own, up a ladder, should you?’
‘This room’s fine,’ she said, looking down at him and then smiled. ‘I’m good at falling off ladders.’
‘I noticed you looked wobbly a few times last week.’
He swore she blushed, turning her head away. Leon wondered what he had said, whatever it was right now, he was too interested in his older neighbour.
Hating to admit it, he kept looking at her the previous week, wondering if he was desperate for female company. Shona and Tracy were funny, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off Esme.
That’s what he found confusing, considering she spent most of the time on a ladder, looking unstable each time he glanced over and caught her eye.
It occurred to him that he could be making her feel uncomfortable.
If he didn’t know her age, he would have asked her out.
But he knew, and it wasn’t appealing.
A fifteen year age gap with a twenty-something son.
Leon started shaking his head, as if it would help when trying not to fancy her.
It struck him that was the problem.
He did.
‘Is something wrong?’ she asked, looking quizzically at him. ‘You look like you’re having a conversation with yourself. I do that all the time. The girls tend to ignore me, especially when it’s an argument.’