by S M Mala
‘Nothing at all!’ laughed Alicia, taking a wet wipe to clean Mali’s face. The child was still watching the cartoon. ‘Esme can buy me a glass of wine.’
‘And you not like beans?’ Mali asked Alicia, jumping off Esme’s lap. ‘I not like beans.’
‘Barbara, can I get you a drink? Tea or coffee? Mali, would you like orange squash? I’ve got some biscuits too.’
‘I’ll make it,’ Alicia said, laughing at the little girl jumping around. ‘You clean up.’
Sweeping the floor and watching Barbara and Mali, Esme sensed the grandmother wasn’t too happy. She shuddered to think how unhappy Barbara would be if she ever found out what Esme was doing with her son.
There was a little sinking feeling in her gut. She caught Alicia’s eye and knew her friend was aware what she was thinking.
Making the tea and putting the cups on the dining table, the ladies sat around and smiled.
‘Do you cut adult's hair?’ Barbara politely asked.
‘I certainly do. I cut her hair and Alfie’s.’
‘Could you do mine? I need to find a new hairdresser since…’ She looked anxiously away.
‘I work in a local salon two days a week, so you’re welcome to come and see me. I’ll give you mate’s rates.’
‘That’s lovely. Thanks.’
‘So this child beating girlfriend your son was going out with, who happened to be a hairdresser, any news on what happened there?’ Alicia asked while casually dunking her biscuit into her cup. Esme tried to stop herself from choking. ‘You don’t mind me asking, do you?’
‘Esme, I am so sorry for the way she spoke to you,’ Barbara said, sitting up straight. All three made sure Mali was out of earshot. Right now, she was swinging Moo Moo in the garden and jumping around like a loony. ‘We’re not like that. We don’t think the same way she does. Leon was very upset when we spoke about it. And Melanie’s mother? I’m never speaking to her again after what she said!’
‘It’s okay. I’ve heard worse, but I don’t think Leon’s ever heard it at all,’ Esme replied quietly. ‘He was pretty shocked.’
‘All our family love Mali,’ Barbara continued, glancing at her granddaughter. ‘She’s a funny little thing. We’re very proud of her. Never did I think someone would judge my son and his child. I thought if you liked someone, you went for it.’ Then she half smiled. ‘You know, I’m seven and half years older than my husband.’
‘Must run in the family, the love of oldies,’ Alicia whispered so Barbara couldn’t hear. Esme growled at her friend. ‘It makes it unique, people’s differences. I think it strengthens the bond.’
‘Even back then, no-one judged it though he’s a lapsed Christian and had a German surname.’
‘Leon mentioned his dad converted to Judaism,’ Esme smiled.
‘Is Leon circumcised?’ Alicia asked, looking directly at Esme, then realised what she did, before glancing wide-eyed at his mother. ‘I’ve never seen a circumcised one.’
‘Good Lord!’ Esme said, wanting to strangle her friend. Barbara started to laugh. ‘Excuse her. She’s a personal trainer and seems to have muscle in the brain.’
‘Just saying,’ shrugged Alicia, sipping her drink. ‘Considering we’re talking about muscle.’
‘I want him to be happy,’ Barbara sighed, looking over at Mali. ‘It’s so hard for him, I know it is. His older sister, Lauren, is engaged and has been for years. And Lucia? She says she’s in love. That’s a turn up for the books.’ She let out a little laugh. ‘I always thought she was always an oddball, a bit like Stan’s mum. But Leon? My baby boy is the one I worry about the most.’
Esme glanced at Alicia’s raised eyebrows before turning her attention to Barbara.
‘You shouldn’t worry about him,’ Esme said, smiling at Mali trying to do a cartwheel but just flashing her knickers while toppling over. ‘He wants to make you happy.’
‘All I ever wanted for him was to find a nice girl.’
‘Well, he gave it a shot with this hairdresser and his kid got hurt,’ sighed Alicia, her smile slipping.
Barbara suddenly burst into tears. Esme got up and gave her a warm hug.
‘It’s my fault!’ the woman sobbed. ‘I shouldn’t have introduced him to her.’
‘It’s okay,’ Esme said quietly, pulling away and staring into Barbara’s eyes. ‘Alfie knows about it and no-one will ask any questions.’
‘You saved her. If it wasn’t for you, who knows what would have happened,’ she replied, getting more upset. ‘What if it had been serious?’
‘Slapping a kid, that’s not yours, is serious,’ said Alicia bluntly, grabbing another biscuit. ‘Don’t beat yourself up over it. Esme gave that girl what for. Leon will be indebted to her.’ Then there was a sly grin. ‘How he’ll pay her back, who knows?’
‘Can you get the tissues, Alicia?’ Esme asked her mischievous friend before looking at Barbara. ‘It’s over and done with. Let’s move on.’
‘How can he be happy?’ Barbara whispered. ‘Every woman from now on, he’ll look on with suspicion. I don’t want him to be alone for the rest of his life. That would hurt me more than anything.
‘Believe me,’ Alicia said, sitting back down and handing the box of tissues over. ‘I don’t think Leon will ever be alone. Will he Esme?’
‘Please don’t cry.’
Leon was standing in Melanie’s living room, knowing he had to get back home. ‘I don’t think it’s going to work.’
‘I said I was sorry,’ she said, sobbing into her hand. ‘Why won’t you give us another chance?’
Leon stood there knowing to tell Melanie anything would add salt to the wound.
‘Your actions and words have made me realise we’re not suited.’
‘But we are!’ The way she said it, was more of an outburst than a plea. ‘It’s because of your neighbour, isn’t it? She’s a liar and-.’
‘Melanie, the way you spoke to her and about my child last week was totally unacceptable. I have never judged anyone on their colour or creed, but you were pretty vile.’ He was trying to keep his anger in check. ‘I felt embarrassed and ashamed but I need you to know, I am furious the way you handled Mali. She’s not a spoilt little brat. That child is my child; my flesh and blood. No-body, but no-body, is allowed to touch her the way you did.’
His voice cracked at the end, and he knew there was no holding back.
‘They got it all wrong!’ Melanie sobbed louder. ‘They’re making it up because your daughter is threatened by our relationship. Esme? I think she’s jealous of seeing anyone happy. That’s why she’s alone. You can tell women like that a mile. Interfering because they have no life.’
What surprised Leon, was on the mention of Esme’s name, his heart started to pound.
He desperately wanted to see her.
The lovemaking on his sofa the night before had blown his mind.
‘I thought it was best I told you face to face,’ he said, knowing not to rise to the bait.
‘Leon, I love you!’
This took him by surprise. It made him nearly stumble, but he hid it well.
‘You can’t love me.’
‘I love you so much. I know we’re made for each other. Please don’t do this to me,’ she sobbed.
‘Oh Melanie, I never meant to hurt you.’ The guilt suddenly hit him, seeing this young woman cry. ‘I think you’re a lovely…’ Leon had to hesitate. ‘Girl.’
She walked closer to him; her mascara running down her face, and he could see her pale skin underneath the tinted foundation, as her tears left streaks.
‘Is it the age difference? Is it because you’re older? It makes no difference, not when you love someone. Even the fact you’re only half Jewish doesn’t bother me. We can work through it.’
Without knowing it, Melanie had hit something on the head.
He felt his head spin and wanted to laugh out loudly, but kept himself in check.
Leon was falling in love with Esme; that’s wh
y nothing else mattered.
It had been such a long time since he opened his heart.
‘Leon, are you listening to me?’ he heard her say while he was lost in thought.
‘It’s to do with the fact that I’ve misjudged so many things and so many people. It could have damaged something quite precious to me and-.’
‘I would never have hurt Mali!’ she said, her eyes alarmed. ‘I’ve been brought up to discipline children and-.’
‘Mali’s my child, and I love her more than anything else in the whole wide world. One day, when you meet someone and have a child of your own, you’ll know what I mean.’
He ignored the near hysterics of Melanie as he left. She was swearing at him and abusing Mali.
It didn’t matter.
Nothing did.
He was going home to see a woman he was falling in love with.
‘What’s the secret?’
Mali and Esme were sitting in her garden. Barbara had quickly popped out to the shops leaving them to play.
‘Why you not work?’ asked Mali, full of suspicion.
‘Why are you changing the subject?’ Esme smiled at the little girl with her perfect face and newly cut fringe. She had braid her hair, and they were hanging either side of her head. ‘And I went to work very early this morning if you want to know.’
Mali frowned and looked around before moving closer.
‘It’s a secret,’ whispered Mali behind her hand. ‘Not even daddy knows.’
Esme looked up at the sky. There were clouds coming in making it overcast but still warm for June. She sighed thinking about Leon and then looked at his child.
‘Do you like me?’ Esme asked the little girl who nodded up and down furiously. ‘Really?’
‘I love you.’
It grasped Esme’s lungs, overwhelming her, hearing the child say it.
‘Oh Mali, I love you too.’ She put her arms around her, giving her a massive hug.
‘We will be together forever, won’t we?’
‘I certainly hope so.’
Releasing the child, she looked at the innocent face and felt protective.
‘When I was on holiday…’ Mali began, holding Moo Moo on her lap. ‘I made a friend.’
‘A boyfriend?’ teased Esme then noticed Mali shook her head from side to side, very slowly. ‘Was is a child?’ Again, the head went from side to side. Fear suddenly clasped Esme, thinking the worst. ‘A grown up.’ There was a nod. ‘An adult?’
‘A lady,’ Mali said, smiling up at her. ‘She was very pretty and nice.’
‘You didn’t go anywhere with her, did you?’ Esme asked, trying to hide her alarm.
‘She only wanted to be my friend and play.’
Knowing not to upset the child, she moved closer and started to stroke her hair.
‘That’s nice, isn’t it?’
‘She not want daddy to know.’
‘Why not?’
‘She said daddy not like her. She said she my mummy.’
Smiling gently at the child, she needed to tread very carefully and grinned.
‘Your mummy?’ asked Esme, kissing Mali’s cheek. ‘Are you sure?’ Mali nodded. ‘Why are you sure?’
‘She said what Nana and Grandpa were called and Auntie Lauren and Auntie Lucia. She said daddy’s name and she told me she had to leave me when I was a baby. She said she was sad, but she said she loved me.’
Her heart was thumping hard, and she took a deep breath.
‘What did you tell her, Mali? Anything about you?’
‘I told her I like sweetcorn and peas and potatoes and curry and rice. I told her I not like beans. I told her I went to Antrobus Primary School, and I was in reception and my teacher is Mr Alfie Reeves. She asked if I would like a brother or a sister. I said daddy said he would like a sister or brother for me. I think little children are smelly and yuk. I not want one.’
Clasping her chest, Esme realised Mali had told Bennylita where she lived and realised it would be very easy to track down which town and city.
‘And what did you think about seeing her? How did you meet?’
‘I went to the Children’s Club in the morning and she was there. She said she liked talking to me. She said I was beautiful, and she loved me. She said she would come and visit me. She said she wanted us to be a family.’
‘And what else did you say?’
‘I said Nana said she a witch.’
‘I see.’
Leon’s heart was beating fast, and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Esme was looking at him across her garden table. It was early evening, and the sun was still warm. But right then, Leon wouldn’t have noticed. ‘Why didn’t you say yesterday?’
He was starting to feel angry about her holding out on the information.
‘I didn’t say anything yesterday because I took it upon myself to inform my son that they were to be aware of a woman hanging around or anyone asking about Mali Sachs. And I was worried on how to tell you.’ Esme looked down, and he could see she was upset. ‘Mali doesn’t seem to think anything about it and I knew you’d be worried. Let rip. Take it out on me if you like, but don’t bottle it up or interrogate the child. She was told not to tell you. I told her she should. Knowing she was staying the night with her Nana, I thought it was best to tell you today.’
‘What is it with women?’ he mumbled. ‘Some women.’
‘I think some men are a pain in the arse, to be honest.’
‘Why can’t anything be simple?’
‘I know that most men are, yet they still cause problems.’
Leon sat back and smiled. She was sipping a glass of wine and staring at him.
Then his heart sank.
‘I know this makes no difference whatever, but Bennylita can’t come and take your child. Leon, you need to contact your ex and ask what she was doing speaking to Mali.’
He sat there feeling a numbness creeping over him. The last thing he wanted to do was speak to Ben. It would only upset him because there was still a bruise to his heart that kept him on his guard.
‘She’s only five years old, a baby,’ he mumbled, putting his face in his hands. ‘What was Bennylita expecting to happen? And what was she doing in Nerja? Has she been there all along? Has she been spying on my parents to see if they’d bring Mali? It’s not safe. My daughter’s not safe.’
‘Your daughter is very safe.’
He felt her lips on the back of his neck. Then there was a soft kiss.
‘So you weren’t imagining seeing her,’ Esme whispered. ‘It’s interesting that she was there; I’ll admit. But Mali’s here, with you. Leon, look at me.’
She pulled his hands away from his face, and he looked into her dark brown eyes.
‘What am I going to do?’ he whispered, feeling his heart thunder in his chest. ‘What if she wants access?’
‘Then you have to think hard what’s best for Mali. She’s met her mother, and if you now tell her she can’t see her, it might hurt.’
‘I don’t want Ben anywhere near my child!’ he snapped and noticed Esme’s raised eyebrows. ‘So she can walk away when she’s finished? Leaving my child upset and confused? No way is that going to happen!’
‘From personal experience,’ she said, pulling a chair closer to him and sitting down. ‘The devil you do, the devil you don’t.’
‘What shall I do?’
‘Speak to Mali. Don’t upset her or be angry. Be your usual kind self and all will be well.’ She leaned closer and placed a kiss on his lips. ‘I have to go for tea with the ex along with Steph and Alfie a week this Saturday, which I’m dreading. It seems our lives are a bit topsy-turvy at the moment.’
‘Topsy-turvy… I like that expression.’
Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her passionately, feeling her tongue in his mouth as his hand gently caressed her breast through the clothing.
‘I like you,’ he said, pulling his lips away, then kissing her face.
�
��I like you.’
‘We haven’t even been together a week and things are starting to happen.’
‘And Melanie? What happened there? You didn’t say.’ Esme sat back, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. ‘Do you want to say?’
‘I told her it wasn’t working and she was a bit upset.’ Leon glanced away, not wanting to say anything else. ‘I did mention I wasn’t happy with her hitting Mali.’
‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘She said she was in love with me,’ he mumbled. ‘And that the age difference wasn’t a problem for her; even the fact that I’m half Jewish wouldn’t hold her back. I’ve never been judged on my, I don’t know, ethnicity before.’
‘Welcome to my world,’ laughed Esme. ‘She loves you?’
‘Apparently.’
‘Understandably.’
‘Really? Why’s that?’
‘Like I said, men are simple.’
He simply couldn’t get enough of her later on that evening. Lying naked on the bed, the pair were kissing and stroking. His lips travelled all over her body and tasted her skin. Leon never wanted it to stop.
Her hands were caressing his skin, as was her mouth.
Then he thought of something and stopped.
‘Esme, I need to tell you something,’ he said, manoeuvring up, so he was lying on top. ‘When I was talking to Melanie, it occurred to me.’
‘What did?’ she asked, and he could see Esme looked bewildered.
‘I don’t care about our age difference or anything like that. As I’ve mentioned before, I try to weigh up the pros and cons. The only other time I didn’t do that was with Ben. It was everyone else telling me the cons, but I didn’t listen.’
He watched her smile. It was full of warmth and genuine affection.
‘We’ll keep us a secret, if that would make you happy,’ she eventually said, stroking his face. ‘I don’t mind.’
‘I really like you,’ Leon said, kissing her face. ‘I like you a lot.’
Then he travelled towards her mouth, kissing her deeply, feeling her skin against his. Esme pulled away and stroked his back.
‘I really like you,’ she whispered. ‘A lot.’