by S M Mala
Esme’s gay-dar was on full alert.
‘And you’re Alfie Reeves?’ the man asked.
‘And who are you?’ added Steph, looking at the man up and down.
‘I’m Stephen. Governor Reeves’s Press Director.’
‘Pardon?’ Esme said and wanted to laugh. ‘This is a PR exercise?’
‘Not at all!’ he laughed, yet his eyes were focussed on her son. Alfie, on the other hand, was looking at his phone, completely disinterested.
‘How long will he be?’ Alfie asked, looking up at the man, a scowl firmly stuck on his face. ‘I’ve only got two hours in my diary, so he better hurry up.’
‘Where is Oscar?’ Esme quietly asked but was met with a fixed smile. ‘He’s never usually late for anything.’
‘And how would you know that?’ the man asked, his eyes narrowing as if he was ready to land a verbal punch. ‘Do you see him when he comes to Europe?’
‘Who are you again?’ she replied, seeing Alfie flick her a glance.
‘I’m in charge of all the press and public relation elements for Governor Reeves.’
‘I bet you’re kept busy then,’ said Steph, glaring at the man. ‘Do you have to keep lots of things hidden in the closet when it comes to my son?’
‘And you must be Mrs Reeves?’
‘I’m obviously not his wife, am I?’
‘You have his wit,’ Stephen replied and then his eyes focussed on Alfie. ‘Why don’t you order your afternoon tea just in case he’s delayed further?’
‘I thought you said a little late?’ asked Esme, knowing something was up. ‘Can you ring him and ask?’
‘He’s busy at the moment.’
‘He shouldn’t be ‘busy’ when he wanted us to be here.’
‘Mum, let’s order some food before we’re too pissed to walk out of here in a straight line,’ whispered Alfie, touching her hand, then turning to the man. ‘We like to eat as a family.’
Esme looked at Stephen, this weirdo press person, and she could see a little look of lust in his eyes.
For her son.
‘It was lovely to meet you,’ Stephen said, getting up to his feet. ‘We’ll speak later.’
‘Of course,’ sighed Alfie, shaking his head from side to side as soon as the man walked away. ‘A predator.’
‘It looked like he wanted to munch on you, not the bloody scones!’ hissed Steph, sitting up straight and knocking back her champagne. ‘I didn’t like him. Something of the night there.’
‘You know, I expect daddy is going to tell us something we don’t want to hear.’
‘Like what?’ asked Steph, gesturing to get another bottle of champagne.
‘Mum has been seeing dad, on and off, for the past few years,’ he whispered and Esme turned to stare at her son.
Esme looked at Steph, waiting for the disapproving lecture.
But Steph shrugged and drained her glass.
‘If you’re still in love with someone and they offer you crumbs, you’re going to take it, aren’t you?’ came her ex-mother in law’s comment. ‘Esme, you’re much better than that.’
Not knowing how to respond, she got to her feet.
‘I need to go to the ladies,’ she said and walked out of the room, taking a deep breath, before heading to the toilet.
‘Ma’am, are you going somewhere?’ A large man with an American accent asked her. He had an earphone in, and she knew he was the security. ‘Do you need some assistance?’
‘Well, unless you can pee for me, and then I don’t think so,’ she replied, looking at the people, all dressed in dark suits. Then she saw Stephen on the phone, talking enigmatically. As soon as he realised she had seen him, he instantly turned away. ‘Which way to the … what do you call it?’
‘Powder room,’ the man gently smiled.
‘I always thought that was a stupid expression. I know once upon a time it was for women to powder their noses, but now it’s for them to snort cocaine.’
‘Erm… yes,’ he said, looking confused. ‘It’s down the corridor to the right.’
‘Thanks.’
As she walked away, a woman followed her.
She stopped and turned.
‘Can I help you?’ Esme asked as the woman stared.
‘I’m making sure you get to the powder room, Mrs Reeves,’ was the reply.
‘It’s Ms Reeves and thanks.’
Esme rushed through the doors and got to a cubicle.
Oscar was indeed up to something, but she didn’t know what.
‘Don’t cry.’
Mali was standing in the middle of the room, her hands in fists, unable to stop the tears.
Leon was on his knees, holding his daughter but could see she was beyond upset.
‘I be sick,’ Mali said, taking her hands away from her face. ‘I be sick, Daddy.’
‘Okay,’ he said, lifting her up and taking her to the downstairs toilet. He glanced at his mother, whose hand was being firmly held by Lucia. ‘You can be sick in here.’
He lifted the toilet lid and noticed Mali bend over, but it was only snot and tears falling down, as she sobbed some more. Then she spat into the toilet bowl before looking at him.
‘You not be mad at me, daddy,’ she said. Leon knew the little girl was scared. ‘Please, daddy? I not naughty.’
Leon took the small hand towel and wiped her face, as he flushed the toilet and sat her down on the lid. Looking into her eyes, he gently wiped her tears away.
‘Esme told me what you said. She was worried you’d get upset. I’m not angry with you,’ he said gently. ‘And I told you not to speak to strangers.’
‘She said she’s my mummy,’ Mali replied, the sides of her mouth turned down. ‘She said you’d be angry.’
‘I’m angry at her, not you. I love you Mali, more than anything in the whole wide world.’
‘I love you.’
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Leon held her gently, wondering what he could do.
‘I have a secret,’ Mali whispered then pulled away.
‘More?’ He started to worry that something else happened but tried to remain calm. ‘Will you tell me?’
‘I’ll show you.’
Jumping off the toilet seat, she opened the door and went to the living room. There was a sudden hush from the whispering when she went in.
Leon noticed Mali went to her handbag and picked it up, turning to look at her dad. She walked up to him, putting her hand in his palm before going up the stairs. He glanced at his mother’s concerned expression but followed.
Mali took him into the bedroom she stayed in, closing the door. Then she sat on the bed, her legs dangling over the side.
‘What is it?’ he asked.
She opened her bag, and he could see she had a collection of things in there, mainly donated from her Nana. Then she shoved her hand to the side and pulled out a little plastic wallet.
‘She give this to me.’
Taking it from her, Leon’s hand started to shake as he opened it up.
It was a picture of Bennylita holding Mali when she was a baby.
Then he looked at the other side and held his breath from shock.
There was a little boy with Bennylita.
‘Who is this?’ he asked, seeing the resemblance.
‘My brother.’
He didn’t know what to say. There was a large wedding ring on her hand, which made him gulp.
Immediately he felt hurt for Mali but simply incensed with anger when thinking about his ex.
She had forsaken her first born and gone on to have another child.
But the biggest emotion was pain and hurt, that she didn’t want her baby.
Or him.
Then it subsided.
Leon knew it was his pride and the remnants of loving a woman who obviously didn’t love him. He held his breath and smiled at his child, whose expression was still fearful.
‘He isn’t as beautiful as you,’ he mumbled before looking at her
little grin. Leon remembered what Esme had said about her ex’s children. ‘How do you feel about this?’
‘He’s a boy and yucky!’
Leon laughed before silently weeping into his hands.
‘I’ve eaten enough scones.’
Esme was incensed.
Oscar was fifty-five minutes late, and people were popping their heads in and smiling.
‘They find us amusing,’ grinned Steph, looking a little drunk. ‘We’re not important enough.’
‘We were never important enough,’ grumbled Alfie, starting to laugh before putting another small cake into his mouth. ‘Thank God we’re not paying for this. It’s a rip-off! I’ll be hungry by seven o’clock.’
Her head was spinning.
She was angry.
‘Stephen!’ she shouted, making the other two jump. The man walked into the room with a fake grin. ‘Where’s Oscar?’
‘On his way.’
‘Get him on the phone.’
‘He’s on-.’
‘Now!’ she shouted out. ‘He told us not to be late and we weren’t. This is insulting as it is bad mannered.’
‘He has been unavoidably delayed,’ Stephen flatly replied. ‘Governor Reeves is sorry.’ Then she noticed the man touch Alfie’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. ‘I know he wanted to see you.’
‘Get your hand off my son!’ Esme said, clenching her teeth and watching the man recoil. ‘Do you hear?’
‘Mum it’s okay.’
‘It’s not okay to keep us waiting.’ She turned to Stephen. ‘Two of them are his flesh and blood. I’m just the fucking dimwit that married him!’
‘Oh dear!’ Alfie said, starting to laugh.
‘You’ve stayed in contact with him, haven’t you?’ the man smiled and glanced at Steph.
‘What are you looking at? Have you never seen a geriatric lesbian before?’ she snapped, shaking her head then turning to Esme. ‘I know sweetheart. Don’t worry about it. We all make mistakes.’
‘Dear Jesus,’ groaned Alfie, looking at his watch then at the man. ‘What’s this about? As you can see, we’re quite a mix. There’s my mother; black Asian decent and fifty. Then there’s my grandmother; she a European white lesbo and likes women of a far younger age.’
‘Goodness Alfie! Don’t go telling him everything!’ sighed Steph, starting to laugh.
‘And then there’s me. A homo primary school teacher, son of Oscar Reeves. That same man who says he’s liberal minded but he seems to hate queers, even me.’
‘Alfie!’ hissed Esme, grabbing her child’s arm. ‘Don’t say things like that. He loves you and-.’
‘No he doesn’t.’ Alfie looked at her and shrugged. ‘If he loved any of us, he’d be here, on time, or even a little early.’ His eyes started to well up, and Esme took a deep breath.
‘Get Oscar Reeves here! Right now!’ she screamed and noticed Stephen recoil. ‘I’ve had enough of this shit.’
Esme jumped to her feet, making several people rush into the room.
‘You need to wait for the Governor,’ Stephen stuttered. ‘He said-.’
‘Let’s go,’ she instructed the pair. ‘And don’t leave the champagne.’ Steph grabbed it out of the bucket, wrapping a napkin around the bottom.
Then she marched out of the room, grabbing her son’s hand and heading down the corridor.
‘Esme!’ Oscar shouted from the other end, and she stopped. Her eyes met her son’s, and they were full of disappointment; like they’d always be when his father let him down. ‘Where are you going?’
‘You are my child. The most precious thing to me in the world. I’ve had enough of his shit. Just wait here.’
She let go of Alfie’s hand and saw Steph propped up against the wall, knocking back the champagne from the bottle.
Marching up to him, pushing people standing in her way, she stopped.
‘I am not armed but, God, he’d wish that I was, considering what’s going to happen next.’
‘Where are you going?’ Oscar asked, looking confused. ‘Didn’t Stephen-.’
‘How dare you?’ she said calmly. ‘We’ve been waiting for nearly an hour.’
‘Something came up,’ Oscar said quietly, starting to look embarrassed.
‘My son has been waiting his whole life for you to give him the time of day. Knowing he didn’t want to see you, he still made the effort to turn up. You can’t be bothered to return the favour.’
‘Esme.’
‘Don’t bloody well Esme me!’ she shouted out, knowing she was creating a scene.
‘Mum,’ she heard Alfie gently say, not realising he was standing behind her. ‘Let’s go.’
‘Alfie?’ Oscar asked. Esme could see the wonderment on his face, looking at his son. ‘You’ve grown up.’
‘Of course I have, father. The last time you saw me I was seventeen, and now I’m twenty-three. Time flies. I think you’ve done a great injustice to mum. She, in good faith, hoped that we would speak and sort out our differences. I knew you were up to something. It doesn’t take much to find out that at the next Democrat convention you’ll be running for the candidate in the primary election, and we seem to be the thorn in your side.’
‘Is this true?’ Esme asked, shocked by the news. ‘I’m sorry if we’re not good enough, but if you’re running for the Democrats, we’re a perfect fit. Multi-ethnicity and homosexuals, what more could you ask for?’
‘Oscar, you’re a very selfish boy, do you know that?’ she heard Steph say, walking towards them. ‘This should be about meeting Alfie, not how you can manipulate your history to make it a vote winner.’
‘Mother,’ Oscar said, his face getting a little pink. Esme knew he was embarrassed by the scene. ‘Why don’t we go back in a talk?’
‘About what?’ asked Alfie and Esme noticed looked awestruck. ‘Just leave us out of it. And I’m not going to deny my sexuality, neither is grandma, to make you happy.’
The corridor went silent, and Esme looked at Alfie, putting her hand in his.
‘Speak to me when you care; not as something to enhance your political career,’ Alfie continued, stepping closer. ‘And stop using my mum because you know she has feelings for you.’
‘Had,’ added Esme angrily.
‘Alfie, you’re my son. I know I’ve let you down but can’t we at least speak now I’m here?’
‘The thing is dad, I’ve been here for twenty-three years and it can’t all be about when you’re ready. What about me? Do you really care that you let me down?’
Tears stabbed at Esme’s eyes.
She knew Alfie felt like that, and it hurt her to hear it.
‘I think we should go,’ said Steph, before stepping in front of them. ‘Oscar Reeves, when will you ever learn?’ She moved closer, kissing him gently on the cheek. ‘You are my son and I love you with all my heart. But I can’t stand to see you hurt Alfie. Give him and me some respect and even more to Esme. She wants it all to be better because she thinks that’s what will make us happy. I’m not sure.’
Steph turned around and grabbed Alfie’s hand and Esme’s arm, dragging them down the corridor.
When they got out, they ignored the man ushering them into a limousine, as Steph hailed a taxi, and all three got in.
As soon as the doors were shut, Esme burst into tears.
‘Daddy, I love you.’
Mali was lying in her bed, looking at him. ‘I not want to make you sad.’
‘I’m not sad now. I was surprised; that’s all.’
‘I not want you unhappy.’
‘I’m never unhappy when I’m with you.’
He kissed her goodnight, making sure she had the sheet over her. The nights were getting warmer, and Mali got agitated by the heat.
Closing the door gently, he walked down to the living room and poured himself a very large scotch.
His head was still spinning from the revelation of the afternoon.
Then he noticed the gate open at the back of the
garden.
Esme was walking slowly towards his house.
Leon’s heart lifted on seeing her but then he realised she looked upset.
Putting down his glass, he rushed to the door, opening it and noticed her look at him. Then she ran, flinging herself into his arms, resting her head against his chest.
‘I had a horrible day,’ she whispered, wrapping her arms around him.
That’s what he needed. A hug from someone he loved.
‘Mine’s not been perfect,’ he said, leaning down to sniff her hair. ‘I take it tea didn’t go to plan.’ Leon gently held her face, making Esme look up. ‘I got a few shocks as well.’ Then he couldn’t hold it in and felt upset. ‘I’m not quite sure what I feel.’
‘Leon,’ she said, pulling his head down and placing kisses on his face. ‘What happened?’
‘Where do I begin?’
They sat in the garden, and he told her; his reaction and what he felt. Esme sat next to him and stroked his face, constantly kissing his lips.
‘Mali never told me that,’ she whispered. ‘It seems your life is starting to replicate mine.’ Esme hung her head before glancing up. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know,’ he honestly replied, pushing the hair away from her face. ‘I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart.’
Then he noticed she looked away. That’s when he realised she was crying.
‘Esme?’
‘It’s okay. That’s how I’ve felt, which seems like forever.’ She wiped her face on her shoulder before looking at him. ‘I don’t want you to feel like that.’
‘I want you to stay the night with me,’ he said, leaning closer. ‘I need you so much right now.’ She nodded. ‘You see…’
He couldn’t say what was bugging him.
Deep down, what had hurt him.
Esme touched his face, looking into his eyes.
‘I used to wonder why he left me and got married again. Then I found out about him having children, and it broke my heart. I wanted more kids, a bigger family. Oscar kept saying he didn’t want more children. But he did. It’s just he didn’t want them with me.’
Closing his eyes, he knew she understood more than he could explain.