Violet’s Bucket List

by Embers, Tuesday

  I closed my eyes at the nickname. I wasn’t a mouse at work or with my friends. Only in front of Eli did I squeak and run away. My voice cracked when I replied with a shaky, “Uh-huh?”

  “I’m opening the door.”

  I backed away, bumping my butt into the dresser with a bang. “What’s up?”

  “Two things. The timer rang on the stove. Was tha important? Is tha… Ye were supposed to eat tha.” He pointed to the box of Lucky Charms that still had the bow on it. I’d placed it atop my dresser, so I could glance at the gift like the fangirl I was.

  I gasped, embarrassed, as if he’d caught me sniffing a pair of his underwear or something. I didn’t know what to do, so I snatched at the box and shoved it under my comforter, hiding it from view. “I can buy other boxes of cereal. That one’s special.”

  Eli smirked at my squirm, as if I was cute, and not horribly pathetic. “I see.” That he’d been kind instead of calling me the dork that I was only endeared me to him more. At this rate, I would never get over him.

  “The bread needs to come out. That’s what the timer was for. What was the second thing you needed?”

  He shot me a wicked smirk that showed off his playful side. “I was wondering if ye wanted to know what my other pec felt like. Ye only got your crack at just the one. I don’t want ye to feel shorted.”

  I gasped, scandalized at the evil, dimpled grin I wanted to study under a microscope. I was so frustrated with him (and mostly myself), that I mimed picking up my pillow and throwing it across the room at him angrily. “Knock it off. I told you, I can’t help it!”

  He looked down at the invisible pillow and then quirked his eyebrow at me. “Is tha what ye meant to do? I’m fairly certain ye missed your hold on your weapon.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t going to actually throw something at your face. I didn’t want to hurt you for real. I just wanted to get you to shut up about it.”

  “Ye didn’t want to hurt me… with a pillow?” He reached across his torso and squeezed one of his pectoral muscles. “How flabby must these be if ye think a wee pillow could mortally wound me?”

  I bit my lower lip and shook my head, willing the branded image of him fondling his chest to erase itself from my long-term fantasy bank. “I don’t know, but it felt wrong. You’ve got that shadow in your eyes. Plus, the guarded way you hold your shoulders inward makes me feel like you’ve taken too many hits. I didn’t want to add one more to the list. I don’t like to think about something hurting you.”

  Eli stared at me, sifting through my words as if they held a double meaning. A tender expression crossed his features, his eyes holding an appreciation that I was gentle with the ghosts that still haunted him. He looked at me with confusion, his tongue sweeping his lower lip before he finally spoke. “No one’s ever said tha to me. Ye… You’re a sweet little lass.”

  I shook my head and held up my finger in warning. “Ho, no. Don’t you go throwing around compliments in my direction. It means too much to me, so you should keep that noise to yourself. You know it’ll only go downhill from here. I already cracked you in the forehead because you got too close. You’ve healed from enough in your life. Save yourself. Seriously.”

  Eli squinted at me. “How do ye know what I’ve healed from?”

  I set aside my clumsy junior high squeakiness and donned my far more relaxing PT mode. “Your walk. You favor your right side slightly. I can tell you’ve had surgery above your hip. You walk with weighted steps, which means you’re used to wearing heavy boots. That puts you at either a construction worker or ex-military. I’m guessing military, which is where you got the strain on your left shoulder – too many calisthenics on a large body. And you’ve got a deep-set scar on the left side of your forehead that wasn’t done with a scalpel, so that’s most likely from a fight gone south.” I envisioned myself licking the scar if I was allowed too close. I couldn’t be professional anymore when I pictured someone taking a knife to Eli’s perfect features. My shoulders dropped, and a woebegone expression crossed my face. “Why did they hurt you?”

  It was Eli’s turn to gape at me. “How did ye know all tha?” His face turned aggressive on a dime. “Have ye been looking into my time in Ireland? Who do ye work for?”

  I jumped at his accusatory bark. “I work for McCale’s Rehab Clinic! I know all that because I can see the way you carry yourself.” Sweat broke out along my forehead, and I feared I might spontaneously either burst into tears or pee myself. Eli hated me. At least my college crush did me the favor of not knowing I was alive. This was pain that surprised me with how deep it cut. I swallowed hard and fought through my nerves to find my PT mode. “I guessed all that because it’s my job. People lie to their therapists all the time. Some people want to speed up their rehabilitation, so they lie and say they’re not in pain when they are. Then they hurt himself, and the company I work for risks getting sued. I diagnose people with a look all the time. I’m sorry, Eli. I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Scare me?”

  I shrugged. “Well, yeah. It looks like you didn’t want me to know about that knife fight, or your time in the army.” My hands wrung together as my self-loathing hit a new high. “I won’t tell Brady or anyone, honest. I’m real sorry, Eli. I sometimes forget to turn work-mode off when I should.”

  Eli stared at me for a few weighted moments before he ran his hand over his face. “Aye. It’s not ye, Mouse. There are things… I didn’t know ye could do tha. Maybe I overreacted. Jays, you’re looking like ye might cry. I didn’t mean to scare ye. I was hoping to leave tha life behind. I didn’t know ye might guess it all so quickly.”

  I shook my head, lowering my chin in case I did cry at making him so upset. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I do that sometimes, evaluate people who aren’t patients. It’s not fair for me to guess at your story when you didn’t want to tell it.”

  “Aye. I do the same thing when I walk into a room. Evaluate all the entry points, shady characters, and check for weaknesses to security. My current job doesn’t exactly help with tha.”

  “Brady mentioned you work in security.”

  Eli shook his head. “At a nightclub. I mostly guard the owner during the evening shift, which, if ye can imagine, is his most active time. I’ve been working for Antonio for years.”

  “Ah. That makes sense.”

  “What does?”

  I shrugged, wrapping my arms around myself. “If you’re around, what could there possibly be to worry about? The owner probably wants to feel safe in his own workplace. Makes sense why he’d keep you close.” I shook my head, my chin tucked to my chest. “You can go, Eli. I’m saying all the wrong things, and probably making you uncomfortable.”

  He didn’t leave, but moved to stand in my doorway, staring at me. He drank in every inch of my body, while I silently wished for the ability to dematerialize and melt into the floor. Finally, his eyes broke away so he could look around my room. “It doesn’t look like ye do much living in here. Aren’t women supposed to have stuff on the walls and whatnot?”

  I shrugged, moving to the far corner of my room when he took a step further inside. “Caty was the decorator. I need to go buy a desk to put in the corner over there, but that’s about it. All the fluttery extras feel like clutter to me. I like my room clean. I don’t really care what the walls look like, so long as the bed’s comfortable.” I shook my head, rubbing my temples as my anxiety peaked again. “Not that I was thinking about my bed just because you’re in the room. I think about my bed all the time. I mean, I’m not lazy or anything. I wasn’t picturing you on my bed! I promise!”

  Eli gaped at me. “Jays, ye poor thing. You’re all worked up just because I’m standing here? I wonder what would happen if I…” He raised his notched eyebrow at me, a devious smile playing on the corners of his mouth, showing off those dang irresistible dimples. He moved closer, so I stopped breathing altogether. When Eli plopped down on my mattress, glancing over at me with
a grin that told me he knew exactly what predicament he was putting me in, my brain went into overdrive. A million filthy and tender mental images raced through my mind in a helter-skelter riot, rattling me up so much that I couldn’t squeak out a single word.

  “Ye noticed my hip wound, yeah? I was shot by a sniper when I was fighting in the service. Got myself an honorable discharge.” He squinted up at me, as if trying to figure me out. “And tha’s the most I’ve talked about my time in the army in years.”

  I melted at the horrible thing that happened to such a beautiful man. “Oh, Eli. I’m so sorry.”

  Eli smirked at me, showing off his lickable dimples beneath his scruff. I wanted to slather them with whipped cream just to suck it all out. It was a definite problem. “This is the part where ye should offer to give me an examination.”

  I merely gaped at him, dumbstruck and frozen in my panic, which was mingled with sheer glee at seeing the impossible come true. I anchored my feet to the floor, lest my body float away on the high I got from being tormented by such a beautiful man. “No way. Not ever. I would faint. I’m on the verge right now as it is.” Eli was sitting on my bed. Granted, he was fully clothed and doing it just to tease me, but still. I thought I knew the full scope of my hormones, but they reached a new level I must’ve skipped over in junior high.

  Eli chuckled at me, taking pity on my plight. “I’m only playing with ye, Mouse. Ye make it too easy. I haven’t had this much fun in ages. Thanks for the best night I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Bread!” I blurted out, and ran from the room like my jeans were on fire.

  7

  Hot Guy, Cold Shower

  I bolted to the oven, flung down the door and grabbed at the pan, not realizing until I dropped it onto the stovetop that I’d forgotten to use oven mitts. “Ah!”

  Eli flew out of the room at my cry of pain, swearing when he put together the problem. “Oven mitts, Mouse. Here. Let’s get some cold water on ye.” He turned on the faucet. “Maybe a cold shower would help,” he teased before recalling that I was actually hurt.

  I shoved my hands under the icy stream, letting out noises of distress when my skin kept getting hotter. Eli’s long fingers wrapped around my wrists, unnecessarily securing my hands in place, as if I might move them from the only thing that could soothe the burn. His body caged mine in, making my knees go weak when I felt his hard musculature behind me, encasing my body with his. My heart hammered in an unforgivable rhythm, the burn secondary to the heat that scorched my back where he was touching me. “You’re too close! I can’t… You’re… I can feel your breath on my neck, and I shouldn’t…” When my air drew into my lungs in shallow pants, I realized I was having a panic attack. He was too beautiful, too strong, too sexy, and it was all too much. My knees buckled, and I thanked the burn on my palms for being enough to keep me from fainting smack in the middle of the kitchen. “If you don’t back up, I’ll throw up right here, Eli!” I warned through my erratic breaths.

  “Jays, are ye serious?” He dropped his arms from around me. He moved his large hand to my back, rubbing in soothing circles and teasing me with the proximity of his presence. “How do ye even date anyone if ye get all hot and bothered by this?”

  I started to breathe normally again, and finally found my voice. “I used to date a decent amount, but none of those guys ever gave me the obnoxious barf-inducing butterflies. I told you, it’s only the supernova level of hotness that does me in. Do you really think I’d be able to make it through a whole date like this? I’m this close to asking you to wear a paper bag over your head, just to calm my heartrate.”

  Eli snickered as the front door opened, and Brady’s voice breathed new oxygen into my constricted lungs. “Hey, kiddo. Got here as quick as I could. What’s going on?”

  “He made me burn my fingers!” I accused, ignoring Eli’s indignant protest. “He’s teasing me on purpose, and I’m turning into Lucille Ball over here!”

  Brady laughed. “Ah, so you told Eli about your Hot Guy Blurts? Oo, is that the stew I smell?”

  “Uh-huh. Plus baked fingers and bread. How does that sound?”

  “Eli, grab some bowls, will you? I’ll get the silverware.” Brady came over and examined my hands. Once he deemed them still attached, I flung my arms around his neck, surprising him with my desperation. “Whoa! It’s alright, Vi.”

  “Never leave me alone with him again! He sat on my bed, and now that’s in here!” I pulled away and tapped my forehead.

  Brady chose to ignore my panic and go straight for normal conversation to quell my insanity. “Mr. Li sent up another carton of ginger ice cream. You want, or should I put it in the freezer?”

  “Freezer. I didn’t stop by to see him today. How is he?”

  “Worried about you. He said he called your boss this morning to yell at him. Not gonna lie, I wish I was a mid-sixties Asian dude with a Dad Card. Then I could get away with yelling at your boss on your behalf.”

  I groaned. “Oh, I wish he hadn’t done that again. He gets so worked up over the smallest things.”

  Brady stiffened and yanked me across the apartment, past Eli, and into the bathroom, turning on the lights and pointing to the mirror. “Would you look at your eye? That’s not the smallest thing. That patient clocked you. Keith should’ve been on it.”

  “Keith’s overwhelmed these days. He even gave me a special assignment yesterday morning before all that nonsense went down, because he couldn’t get to it. He trusts me to handle things, and I didn’t handle my patient correctly. I let Keith down, not the other way around.” When I glanced in the mirror, I gasped. My eye, though opened now, was completely bluish purple from my cheekbone to my temple. “Dang, that’s worse than I thought it would be today.”

  “What special assignment?” Brady inquired. I explained the grant proposal, but my BFF only frowned more. “How can you possibly cram more into your schedule? You’re already working late into the night. I hope he’s paying you several pretty pennies for this.”

  I shook my head, willing my voice to sound like I totally had everything under control. “No, this is on my own time. I’m just doing him a favor, helping him out. Plus, if this works and these grants go through, it would mean more opportunities for overtime.”

  “You’re already working fourteen-hour days! What more overtime could you possibly need?”

  My eyebrows furrowed as I mulled this over. “I dunno. But it would be good for the clinic. We could always use more funding for the place. Maybe then we could switch to EMR, and I wouldn’t have to carry around a stack of papers every day.”

  “Yes, and it’s the boss’ responsibility to secure that for everyone, not yours. Especially if he’s not even paying you for the work! Not another minute spent on this project, Vi. I’m serious. I can’t stand Keith.”

  “You act like he’s some evil mastermind, trying to take advantage of me. He sees me being a team player. That’s worth just as much as a bump in my paycheck.”

  “No, a bump in your paycheck is worth actual money. Doing his job for free is worth exactly zero dollars and zero cents.”

  Eli sidled up next to us, standing in the doorway and giving me the nervous jitters. “Brady’s spot on. People do this to nice women all the time. Ye get off on being helpful because you’re a sweet Mouse. He’s milking it, trying to get as much free work out of ye as he can. If these grants were truly tha important to the facility, he’d take care of them. In the end, this’ll get you no closer to a promotion. Sometimes it even works against ye, because he knows he doesn’t have to pay ye more to get twice the work out of ye.”

  I blinked up at the guys, wanting to argue just so I didn’t feel stupid. “I… But Keith wouldn’t… I don’t think he would… Are you serious?”

  “Absolutely,” both Eli and Brady nodded. “Tell him to take this grant and do it himself. Don’t spend another second on it.”

  I nodded, moving slowly out of the bathroom and back to the kitchen as I mulled over th
eir words of caution. My hands were still stinging, but the pain was starting to lessen. I took out the eggs from the fridge and cranked on the heat for the stew, stirring the delicious meal around and around until it made a gentle whirlpool. I inhaled deeply before dropping three eggs into the thick broth. Eli leaned over the pot curiously. “What’re ye doing now? Poaching eggs in here?”

  “Is that alright? Are you allergic to eggs?” I shook my head at myself. “I didn’t even think to ask you if you had any food allergies. I’m sorry. Totally self-involved of me. Can you eat eggs?”

  Eli studied me curiously, so I ducked my chin, letting my loose strands of hair shroud my face to keep my burning cheeks from view. “Aye. Ye’ve no need to apologize. And ye don’t have to go hiding your pretty face from me like tha. What’s a man supposed to do without something lovely to look at?”

  My heart fluttered in my chest at the blatant compliment, but my jaw tightened. “Stop teasing me. You know you’re just trying to make me clumsier. I’m this close to tripping and dumping this pot of stew all over the kitchen.”

  Eli didn’t argue, but slowly reached out his hand and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. The ecstasy that was Eli’s touch on the shell of my ear was indescribable, and leant itself to being added into my fantasies about him. Most people’s fantasies start out with clothes hitting the floor in the heat of passion, but mine start and end with him touching my ear, because he’s just that good. “Tha’s better. I like watching tha pink take over your cheeks. You’re so innocent if being near me gets ye this worked up. It’s sweet.”

  I’m fairly certain the pink turned crimson at his mild flirt. “You go sit down, or I swear, I’ll barf all over your shirt. This is the longest I’ve ever been near someone this hot, and I’ve exceeded my limit on how nervous a girl can get.”

  He ran his knuckles down my unbruised cheek, making my lashes flutter and the vomit rise. Goosebumps broke out all over my body, and my labored breath caught in my throat. “Aye. Alright. I can behave.”