“What kind of a ninny do ye take me for? I’m not going to inconvenience him. I’m going to pour dry concrete down his toilets.” When Antonio laughed and clapped, Eli expounded. “It’ll take a little time to harden, but once it does, every pipe in his home’s going to have to be replaced. It’ll be a plumbing nightmare, and a costly one, at tha. He’ll certainly remember the year he had to get every pipe in his house replaced.”
I grinned at him, adoring his devious nature. “I love you so much right now.”
“It’s all got to be a ripcord situation, then.” Brady was texting, and held up his phone. “Caty said he’s working tomorrow from 8 until 4, then there’s the wedding shower at 6. Let’s do this all in one final shot. Concrete in the pipes is brilliant. What else we got?”
An idea flashed over me, making my grin widen. “Ghost peppers.”
Antonio shook his head. “Too deadly for my taste. I don’t have any in the house.”
“I can pick some up.”
Brady shook his head. “It’s not big enough, V. That’ll make him uncomfortably for like, fifteen minutes.”
I shook my head as my eyes grew, picturing the whole thing. “Ask Caty where he keeps the condoms.”
Brady quirked his eyebrow at me. “Okay. Why are we messing with his condoms?”
“I can poke a small hole in the wrapper, and drip in a few drops of ghost pepper liquid. It’ll burn him, and her, if I do it on both sides.” I held up my hands at the guffaws as each man reached down to shield his own crotch. “It’ll heal, but it’ll teach him not to put his… you know… where it doesn’t belong.”
“Just make sure ye don’t poke through the actual condom. It’s the best idea I’ve heard in ages. Remind me never to cross ye, Mouse. Tha’s terrifying.”
Antonio took another drink of his whiskey. “Can I play, too?”
I smiled at Antonio, glad he was letting himself be one of us. “The more the merrier.”
“He loves his BMW, right?”
“Takes better care of it than he did our girl, yes.” Brady’s reply was clipped with judgment, angry that someone so dear to us had been treated as if she was unspecial, and easy to cast aside.
“Can Caty convince him to take a different car into work tomorrow?”
“I’ll see.” Brady started texting. “Whatcha got in mind?”
“Something he won’t notice for a while. You’ve got the immediate bomb with the condoms. Well done, Violet. Then the bomb that might take a day or two with the plumbing. Excellent suggestion, Eli. But if I have my mechanic replace the engine in his BMW with an engine salvaged from a junkyard, he might not notice that for a while. That’ll be the stealth bomb that hits him after he thinks the dust has settled.”
I gaped at Antonio, and then reached over to high-five him. “That’s incredible! Hit him where it hurts, for sure.”
“Let me make a few phone calls. I’ll see you kids in the morning, okay? Elsa makes cranberry pancakes for breakfast after Thanksgiving.” Antonio met my eyes as he stood. “What are your hourly rates for rehab, Violet?”
I frowned at him, waving away his offer. “Nothing. You let me stay here and kept me safe while Dan was out there. No way are you paying me for anything.”
“Walk with me,” he ordered, not unkindly. Antonio was used to getting what he wanted, and I didn’t disappoint. I followed him into the house, leaving Eli and Brady to further plan out Dennis’ demise.
39
The Difference Between Physical Therapists and Geishas
I slid the glass door shut behind me and followed Antonio to the kitchen, where he poured himself two more fingers of whiskey. “Eli mentioned you weren’t committed to working with any facility yet, that you were a free agent.”
“What a nice way to say ‘unemployed’.”
The corner of his mouth twitched at my bluntness. “Why’d you leave your last job?”
“It was time. Loved the work, loved the facility, loved the patients, but my boss kept giving me his work to do. Instead of additional pay, he just handed me guilt trips. Plus, the hours were killing me. Fourteen-hour days, and it still wasn’t enough. I love hard work, but not being guilted into doing more when I should be, you know, sleeping at night.” I waved my hand, knowing I sounded like a disgruntled whiner. “It really was a great place to work. Just not a good fit anymore.”
Antonio started asking me questions about my degree, quizzing me on every job I’d ever had in the field, including my internship. Finally, he sipped his whiskey, looking satisfied. “That measures up to what I read in your file. It’s the easiest way to tell if someone’s going to lie to me.”
“Huh? What file?”
“The file I do on anyone who’s close to the people who are close to me.”
I held up my finger. “Okay, we’ll address that later. But why would I lie about my employment history?”
“If you were fired for nefarious reasons, you would cover that up.”
“But you have my file, so you know I’ve never been fired.”
“I also know you’re worth more than you were getting at McCale’s Rehab Clinic. What do you know about cerebral palsy?”
“Hello, left field. Where did that come from?” When Antonio didn’t answer, I sighed, and started listing off the textbook things I knew.
“I have it on good authority that you worked with three kids who were affected during your internship, and one adult when you did in-home care a while back.”
“What the crap, Antonio? What sort of spy nonsense are you into?
“How did those four patients turn out?”
I tilted my chin down to meet his inquisitive gaze with a serious one of my own. “They still have it, obviously. Cerebral palsy isn’t something you just work your way out of. I’m not a surgeon or a magician. But we had goals, benchmarks that the doctors and the families agreed on, and that’s what we worked toward. So, yes, I met all of my patients’ benchmarks, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“What were a few of those benchmarks?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not at liberty to discuss my patients like that. Unlike me, apparently, their lives are private, and their medical information isn’t up for your perusal.”
Antonio squinted at me, and then gave me a wiry grin out of nowhere. “Good. When can you start here?”
“Start here for what?”
“That was the job interview. I needed to know if you’d lie to me, which you didn’t, and if you could be discreet, which you were. You’ve already proven you can do your job well, but there are hundreds of local physical therapists who are just as qualified. My work is… private, and I need someone on my team who can respect that.”
I set my water goblet on the counter and spun around, my chin raised. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need a pity job. You’re only thinking of hiring me because I’m Eli’s girlfriend. You’re sweet, but I’m no one’s charity case.”
Antonio all but ran to block my way, keeping me from storming off. He winced at the discomfort this put on his overworked hip. “I’m not doing it for that. Sure, you having an in with Eli is a bonus, and I won’t try to deny that. But I wouldn’t hire someone unqualified for the job. I own many, many businesses that thrive because I can read people, and make good decisions for my businesses. I wouldn’t risk my actual health on you if you weren’t the best person for the job.”
“We’ve had one session.”
“Then come back on Monday for another.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Look, thank you for the offer, and I was going to come back and help you anyway. But the next job I take has to be full-time.”
“Eli makes enough to support you, you know.”
I glowered at him, raising my eyebrow to challenge him into thinking about what he’d just said. “You want to take another pass at that, vato?”
He chuckled at my indignation. “I wasn’t going to offer you part-time work. I know you enough to understand you wou
ldn’t want to give up your ambitions like that. It would be full-time. No more than forty hours a week, though, unless there’s travel involved. Then we can discuss your rates for overnight help.”
“Overnight help? Are you confusing PTs with geishas?”
Antonio tilted his head back and gave birth to a full-bodied laugh. “Nothing like that. I’d want you to be on-call for my household, and my staff. I have two who live here with me most of the time, but a security team who occasionally get bumps and bruises that I’d prefer are treated discreetly. Then there’s their families, who I’d need you for, as well. One of my guards has a kid with cerebral palsy. When you’re not working on my team, they could use some in-home help. Whatever extra you can give them, but no more than forty hours.”
“I’m not afraid of overtime, you know. How old is the kid?”
“Anthony is eight. Nick, who works the gate sometimes, it’s his son. And Eli would cut off my hands if I made you work overtime. He’s been ranting since we moved to the area that you work too much.”
“It’s not up to him.”
A sparkle lit in Antonio’s eyes. “I know. It’s up to me. Can you start on Monday?”
My jaw dropped open when I realized he’d offered me a job so perfect, I couldn’t have tailored it better myself. “Benefits?”
He shot me a disparaging look, as if to ask him who I thought I was talking to. “I take care of my people. Same package Eli gets.”
“What’s the pay?”
“Twenty percent above your hourly rate at the clinic. They were underpaying you, but I’m not going to risk Eli’s wrath and give you overtime.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, overwhelmed by the life change that happened in a single five-minute conversation. “Are you sure about this? About me?”
“Come with lollipops on Monday. I like the red ones.” Then he winked at me, and left for his bedroom, leaving me in utter shock.
40
Dropping the Gavel on Number 34
My thighs pressed together anxiously as I sat in my chair, my back straight and my posture on high alert. I’d made a stop at the Xerox shop to finish the grand finale of Number 34, and anxiously awaited the dropping of that gavel.
I’d gone shopping after Eli and I had hit Dennis’ house, while his family was at the museum. Touching the many delicate fabrics of the dresses hanging on the racks, I’d chosen carefully the one I thought fit my body and my personality best. I wanted to actually dress up for the date that I knew was about to turn disastrous. It felt poetic somehow.
The wedding shower was filled with one hundred of Dennis and Caty’s friends and family. Well, Caty’s family was in Washington, where they would hear the news about the broken engagement later tonight when she called them with the postmortem. Her friends were the teachers over in the far corner of the room, sitting at the table nearest the kitchen.
Antonio had been added in with the teachers, along with his date, Nick, the security guard. Antonio winked at me when he caught my eye, picking through his meal in anticipation of the main event. He’d been a giddy little schoolboy that morning, shoving his face full of cranberry pancakes. He’d actually cheered when his mechanic had called with the good news that the deed was done, replacing Dennis’ engine with an old, less fancy one that would most likely break down in a few months.
The Connecticut elite stabbed at their salads and made polite chitchat over their main courses, talking about stocks and Dennis’ top standing with his company. My eyes flitted over to the two tables that had been earmarked for Dennis’ coworkers. My gaze narrowed at the blonde, who now had streaks of orange in her hair from treating herself to Caty’s polluted shampoo.
“Whatever happens, do not let me stab that woman,” I whispered to Eli. I was sandwiched between him and Brady at the main table on the stage that had been reserved for the wedding party to sit with the bride and groom.
“You’re on your own. I’m too busy talking myself out of throwing ye down on this table and spreading your legs right here in front of all these people. This dress is… You’re wearing this every Friday night, yeah?”
“Only on the ones you take me someplace nice.”
“Done. Next Friday night, I’m taking ye dancing, or to a nice restaurant, or both. Yeah, both. Just wear this little blue number.”
It was a simple cocktail dress, really. It fell to my knees, revealing the curve of my calf and the matching heels I’d splurged on to celebrate getting a new job. The skirt flared around my hips, swooshing when I walked, and making me feel like a vixen with a secret. The V-neck on the sleeveless top didn’t give everything away, but revealed a solid three inches of cleavage. For a busty girl like myself, that was plenty.
A blush climbed onto my cheeks, and despite my nerves, Eli’s thumb started to relax me as he traced a line down the naked spot between my shoulders where my dress dipped in back. “Yes, to all those things. Yes, to everything.” I met his smoldering gaze, shivering when his hand cupped my thigh, hitching the hem of my skirt up to reveal the scandal of my bare leg under cover of the long tablecloth.
The event coordinator flitted over to us, her black hair slicked back and pulled into a bun. “It’s time to open the gifts now. Are you finished eating?”
Caty was done with fake smiles, and leaned forward to speak to the woman. “I’d like to thank everyone for coming first. Can I have a microphone?”
“Of course. You can do that afterward, too, though.”
“I’m feeling extra grateful,” Caty insisted. Her eyes cut to Brady and me, and I nodded, letting her know that I had her back. I turned and caught Antonio’s gaze, giving him a slight bob of my head. Antonio and Nick stood, casually meandering to the bar, which was near the exit.
The coordinator handed Caty the microphone with a smile. My eyes caught on her hand pulling from Brady’s under the table as she stood, a determined and triumphant look on her face.
I think the three of us were very proud of her that night.
She cleared her throat and welcomed everyone to the shower again, telling them what a joy it was to have them all celebrating their wedding with them. “It’s funny how involved people wanted to be when they heard we were getting married. Dennis’ parents didn’t blink an eye to pay for the shower. Thank you to my future Mother-in-law and Father-in-law. I’m so grateful I’m getting the wedding you always wanted.”
I drew in my breath, knowing she’d chosen her words purposefully, though it didn’t look like anyone else had caught it.
“My fellow teachers banded together and threw me a brunch when I got engaged. I love you guys. Thank you.” She blew them a kiss, and I could practically feel her knees knocking, though Brady was sitting between me and her.
“Even Dennis’ coworkers decided they wanted to get involved in our relationship. Would the accounting department stand up, please?”
My whole body was a live wire, and Eli gripped my hand to steady my nerves. He leaned in while the accounting department at Dennis’ work stood, smiling at the crowd with curious expressions on their faces, each wondering what they’d done to earn this special thanks.
Eli leaned in during the pause and whispered, “When we get married, let’s do it somewhere smaller than this.”
I gasped, on overload as it was. My head jerked to gawk at him. “When we… what?”
But Caty was ready to deliver the final blow, the one we’d all been waiting for, and that deserved my full attention. I saw Brady slide Caty’s purse into his lap and shift his chair back, handing me my purse, as well. “Ready for it?” he whispered.
I wasn’t sure what the fallout might be, only that the sole answer when presented with a bucket list item, whether large or small, had to be met with no other answer than a firm, “Yes.”
Caty motioned to the table that had the three accountants standing and smiling out at the rest of the room. “Involved is a tricky concept, but they found a way to involve themselves in our big day.” She glanced down at her f
iancé, who wore a relaxed smile as he stared up at his future bride. His sandy blond hair was noticeably thinner, thanks to Brady spiking his shampoo with Nair. “Honey, the accounting team put together a little surprise for you and our guests.” She walked behind him now, as if she was going to wander into the crowd for open mic night. She stopped at the end of the stage and grinned with triumph I hadn’t seen on her since she’d graduated with her Master’s degree. “Taped underneath each of your chairs is yet more proof of how much Dennis loves me. I’d like to thank a special member of the accounting team who showed me how faithful my future husband could be, and made all of this possible for you tonight.”
Then she set the microphone down on the bridal table and turned for the exit. While everyone was busy searching under their chairs, Eli grabbed my elbow and hoisted me out of my seat. He kept his arm around me and his footsteps quick as he, Brady and I met Antonio and Nick at the exit near the bar.
“What? Oh, what kind of sick joke is this? Young lady, explain yourself!” Dennis’ grandmother shrieked, holding the full-color image of Dennis and Amber in all their naked glory. I’d purposefully chosen a horribly unflattering image of them as I’d sifted through the video of their sweaty romp we’d caught on the hidden camera. Dennis was in decent shape, but bent over her backside like that, you could see the beginnings of a pooched belly. With his eyes closed and his nostrils flared in a grunt, I’d caught the perfect pose to make him look like the pig he was. It was a bonus that Amber’s face was caught looking bored as she let him go to town on her.
Amber giggled nervously as she looked around the room, still unsure what great gratitude Caty insisted she’d earned. She hadn’t bent down to look under her seat, but she screamed aloud when the person next to her showed her his copy. Her cheeks flamed, and she shouted for Dennis to do something.
Dennis had purposefully not been given a picture under his chair, and had to go around the table down to his grandmother, paling when he saw the evidence she waved in his face. “Caty, wait! Caty, I can explain!”
Violet’s Bucket List Page 26