by Brooks, JL
“Because I am a woman, and I’m fucking nosy – that’s why!”
David curled his tall frame into the wall and gently banged his forehead against it. “I have to show you; it will be easier than telling you.”
Starting to wheel towards the exit, I pushed with a vengeance. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Exhaling loudly, he looked at me in defeat. “You need to come with me to the club tonight and see for yourself.”
I didn’t think I was ready for this, yet with the adrenaline rushing through my veins, it wouldn’t matter. There wasn’t time for me to be indecisive. “Fine, let’s go.”
I slapped his hands away as he tried to help me out and waited at the valet for him to get the car. Before he could get out to help me, I stood and walked to the door and opened it. It wasn’t like I had surgery – I only had stitches put in my leg. With my bare foot, I propped it up on his dashboard, making the unpleasant smell of wearing sneakers all day waft through the air. Even with the windows rolled down, the pungent odor circulated for miles.
We pulled up to the Spur, and the past came rolling towards me full force. Nothing looked different. The neon beer signs flickered in the dark windows. Loud music could be heard from a mile away. Bikes were lined up as far as the eye could see. Weaving through the tight rows, two spots were vacant near the front. One said Stark, the other said Knox.
Turning the car in tightly, he shut off the engine and looked at me with fear. “I can’t take this back. It is what it is. You have to accept it, okay?”
“I don’t have to accept anything, whatever it may be. That’s my decision to make.”
I pulled the shiny, chrome door handle and swung my legs out of the bucket seat. Looking down at my outfit, I wasn’t far off from one of the girls inside. He walked around to guide me, yet I refused his outstretched elbow.
“Get away from me.”
“Damn, Toni, I am just trying to be nice.”
He was growing impatient as we moved closer to the entrance. The burly guy at the door nodded at David and eyed me with lust. With a quick whisper, the man’s gaze turned away as his shoulders straightened up, but he still looked at me out of the corner of his vision. A part of me smiled, knowing what was about to happen. The Spur of the Moment was about to meet a grown Toni Knox.
Watching the scantily clad women prance around the room in their sky-high stilettos and skimpy outfits, it was hard to believe my daddy actually let me wander around here as a child. Asses were hanging out along with breasts barely held in by string bikinis. Some of the women were truly beautiful, and the place was packed. Seven poles lined the room, each one crowded with eager customers. The bar was flooded with patrons waiting for drinks or getting crisp singles to pass out. Rock music played loudly as the DJ warmed up the crowd.
David firmly placed his hand on my back and pushed me through the sea of people, directing me to an open spot at the bar. Ducking underneath the counter, he told the girls to give me whatever I wanted. The one I assumed to be the lead bartender looked at me with disdain and turned the other direction. Three other girls nodded, and then one walked over to me immediately with a smile.
Wiping down the rough wood of the bar with a dingy towel, she screamed, “What’cha want, sweetheart?”
“Give me a good bottle of tequila and a shot glass.”
Pausing for a second, she remembered what David told her. She brought the bottle of Patron over and set it down.
“You want some lemon?”
I nodded and started to pour a shot.
“Hey, grab a few more glasses, will ya?”
With full hands, she brought a small rocks glass full of lemons and additional shot glasses. Filling up the others, I tapped the older man to my left and offered one up and then handed another to the bartender.
“Bottoms up!”
I kept pouring and waited. I knew how to drink my liquor, one shot at a time, and to pace myself. Too much and I would end up in the can with my hair floating in a toilet. Just right and I would breeze through the night with a pleasant buzz. My eye had caught sight of the lead bartender shorting the drawer. I slyly observed her for a while as I passed out shots. Setting up my cell phone to record her, it was only a matter of five minutes before I caught her pocketing multiple sales. The tequila began to make me brave, and knowing this bitch was stealing from my father made me furious.
I hopped behind the bar and drew curious stares. Immediately walking up behind the girl, I tapped her on the shoulder. “Get the fuck out of this bar before I stomp your thieving ass.”
With a slow turn, her hand came up to her hip as her face came closer to mine. With pursed lips, her spit landed on my forehead and traveled down my cheek, where I wiped it away with a smile.
“Well, aren’t you precious?”
My right fist clocked her in the cheek and caused her to spin and grab the bar behind her. Bracing for rebuttal, I blocked her swing with my left arm and jabbed her stomach with two swift punches that made her bowl over. I started to feel electricity pour through my body as my feet bounced back and forth in a fighter’s dance.
All of my aggression was coming forward at once. I may have been small, but I knew how to defend myself. David used to worry that someone at school would physically hurt me, so he taught me how to fight. I used to pretend not to remember certain moves just so he would hold me down. The feelings of being so small and helpless underneath him were the first inklings of lust growing in my body. The night he took my virginity started with a play fight, a wrestling match that left me breathless and pinned under his might.
I couldn’t lose focus, though; this girl wasn’t going down easily. Grabbing the edge of the liquor well, she snatched a heavy glass bottle and went to start swinging. By now, the crowd was chanting, “Fight, fight, fight.”
The girls getting into a brawl was always a good time at the Spur, and this was a barnburner. No one knew who I was, which made it even more exciting. I knew what a good fight could do. It would earn respect. Granted there were other ways to do it, but in a small town, this was one of them.
I held up my hands in defeat and waited for her to take the bait. I knew with as angry as she was, she would. Within a split second, she caught my weakness and smirked. Her eyes bounced from the taped-up wound on my leg and back again, her boot swiftly rising to strike right against the center. She underestimated what was underneath the bandages and gave me enough time to grab her hair and bang her face against my knee. I felt the cartilage in her nose crack at the moment of impact. Blood immediately started to pour as she rolled to the side on the floor to protect herself.
I wanted to hate what I just did, but I couldn’t. Before the smile could cross my face, David grabbed my arm and ripped me away from the screaming crowd.
“What the fuck was that? I leave you alone for five minutes and you’re beating the shit out of my bar manager! What the hell, Toni?”
His arms blocked me on both sides against the wall, demanding an explanation.
Through labored breaths, I held up my phone and played the video. “She was stealing…a lot. You don’t want that shit going on here, so I put a stop to it.”
He replayed the video and looked at a loss. “We’re packed tonight, and the others can’t keep up. I’m fucked, royally fucked. She was the best.”
I shook my head. “That bitch is not coming back – over my dead body.”
“What am I going to do?” His head snapped back as he growled.
“I’ll do it.” I smiled and lightly raked my fingers down his chest. He had no idea that I spent a better portion of my college years bartending to pay rent. Although I was trying to live a new life, some skills came in handy.
“What do you know about tending bar? You haven’t been in here in years.” He looked skeptical.
Running my fingers down his chin, I pulled it gently down towards me. “Honey, I’m Catholic; I’m not dead.”
Without another word, I turned and ducked under t
he bar and introduced myself. “Hey, ladies, I’m Toni Knox.” They stood speechless until I waved them towards customers. “C’mon, people are thirsty here!”
Growing hot, I tied my tank top into a knot, exposing my midriff. My outfit now bore an uncanny resemblance to that of a Hooters girl. My leg started to pulse, a reminder of my earlier incident, but another shot of tequila numbed it away. I watched as a couple of guys, including David, escorted Nichele to the exit. She turned and gave me the most evil glare I had ever seen.
“You know she was banging the boss, right?”
My face curled a little. “David?”
The girl shook her head. “Nope, your dad.” As I extended my hand, she shook it with enthusiasm. “I’m Nic, this is Denise. The red-headed sexpot over there is Kelsie. Thank you.”
Smiling at the other girls, I looked a little confused. “Thank you for what? I just beat the shit out of one of your friends.”
Nic quickly shook her head. “Nichele was an evil cunt. No one could touch her because of the boss. You’re a fucking saint.”
I laughed for a moment and stopped at her choice of words. She called me a saint. Although my actions were hardly morally acceptable, I started to actually question, could the road to sainthood start at a strip club?
I poured one more round of shots and finished out the night. As the girls counted the tips, they handed me a small stack of bills. I handed it back to Nic. “Split this up between you three. You busted your ass for it. I’m good.”
Her smile could have lit up the room as she reached for me and gave me a hug. “Please tell me you’re coming back tomorrow night. We really need someone like you around here.”
David was sitting at the bar, collecting money from the girls. He looked at me pensively, but did not say a word.
Turning back to Nic, I nodded my head in agreement. “Yeah, I will be back tomorrow. I can help until you get someone else trained. I really do need to get shit in order around here.”
I headed towards the stage with a mop bucket and some spray cleaner. Thankfully, there were some rubber gloves in the janitor’s closet. After pulling them on, I soaked the poles in bleach and mopped the glitter and oil off the stage.
“Tell your girls to stop wearing this shit on stage; someone is going to get hurt.”
The ladies behind the bar snickered at the comment and continued to help clean everything up. Once the stages were good, I inspected the ground to make sure everything was secure and nothing was going to fall down. To my relief, everything was locked down tight.
David had come out and was sitting at the bar, having a drink. I walked over to the DJ booth and found an Aerosmith album. I remembered the video where the girls went to a strip club to make money while they were on the road and always loved it. The slow melody played as Stephen Tyler began his lyrics. Holding onto the pole, I lazily held myself and circled around. I loved that these poles actually spun versus the ones I practiced on in my pole aerobics. For as much as I despised this lifestyle, I had to admit that the women looked smoking hot from spending hours contorting their bodies on these simple bars of metal. It was my secret indulgence, spending hours in a studio every week, perfecting my moves. It helped me to feel sexy when nothing else did.
David was once again watching me with curiosity as I pretended to merely hold on and walk in a circle. Once the drums broke in, I started to climb, taking precautions not to hit my leg the wrong way. I knew I had his full attention now. Tightening my thighs, I fell backwards and grabbed the bar as I twirled slowly upside down. My thighs loosened into a full inversion, bending at the waist and coming back up to slide down. I stepped back a few feet and jumped and twirled while climbing again and slinking myself down seductively. He was now standing slack jawed at the foot of the stage as I danced. I didn’t care that anyone was watching. This was my release, and I was shitfaced and without inhibition. After the song was over, I laughed and stepped down to start picking up beer cans. The staff clapped and whistled, so I gave a large curtsey.
David came up behind me and grabbed a hip while whispering in my ear, “You have some explaining to do.” His hand slapped my ass over the spot where I received the shot, causing me to yelp loudly.
“Oh shit, forgot, sorry…” His lips drew back in apology, realizing his mistake.
Rubbing my sore end with my mouth open, I couldn’t help calling him an asshole loudly. We finished closing down and locking up for the night. I was exhausted and ready to sleep. Stumbling into the house, David sat on the couch and started to remove his shoes and settle in. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled him up to a standing position and led him into the bedroom.
“I don’t bite, unless you want me to.” As I stood there drunkenly giggling, his eyes closed with some unspoken thought, but he didn’t fight me.
Crawling into the other side of the bed, he pulled me close to him and buried his face in my neck. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Toni. Honey, you need to get up. It’s almost noon and you need to go see your dad.”
David’s large hands gently swept across the tops of my arms as his lips bent down and grazed my shoulder blades. Wiggling back against him, I wasn’t ready to wake up. This was the best I had slept in months. Seeing I had no intention of moving, he ripped away the sheets from my body.
“Fuck, Toni, get up!”
Sitting up startled, I looked around confused until I saw the large pool of crimson by my leg. He picked me up and ran me to the bathroom, gently setting me in the tub afraid.
“Are you okay? Are you dizzy? Fuck, what happened?”
I ran my fingers down the blood-soaked bandages and wiped away the caked streams.
“I probably drank too much last night and it thinned out my blood. When that bitch grabbed my leg, it might have busted the sutures loose. Get some scissors so we can look.”
He walked into another room and returned with a pocketknife. “Sorry, this is all I got; you need to make do.”
Flipping open the handle, I placed the knife between my teeth while I loosened the tape away from the skin. With a few rough sawing motions, I freed the medical adhesive and was able to see the wound a little better.
“Hey, will you go in the living room and grab that stuff we got at the drugstore? I’m going to need to clean this out a little better.”
While he headed out again, I started to slide my shorts down, knowing I would need a shower. I was still dressed in the clothes from last night; the tank was covered in beer and cigarette smoke. Seeing me sitting in my bra and panties, David stopped as soon as he hit the door.
“You’ve seen me naked before. Get over it, and help me clean this shit up.”
Rather than smiling as I expected, he knelt down to the side of the tub and gently peeled away the tape and picked up the peroxide, pouring it over the wound. It foamed up and began to sting immediately, causing me to hiss loudly.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
He started to pour more as I watched the orange-tinted liquid flow down the drain. The wound was slightly open, but all the stitches remained in tact. I must have laid on it wrong at some point through the night, or the bandages rubbed the wrong way.
“I will go get you a towel, and then you can shower, and I’ll help you bandage it up when you’re done.”
Closing the door, I stripped off the rest of my garments and started to run the warm water. The special cleaner I bought was sitting in the bag next to the tub and smelled terrible. I knew I would be at the bar again tonight, so I took extra time shaving my legs while I was at it. After turning off the water, I called to David to return. Before he had a chance to pop his arm through the shower curtain with the towel, I ripped back the vinyl and held my arms out expectantly. He moved slowly as his eyes traveled from my breasts down lower and returned.
“You didn’t look like that back then.” He reached around and gently wrapped the towel around my body, tucking the ends in the front.
“Well, you can stop
staring at my tits every chance you get now that you know what they look like, okay?”
I giggled while stepping out of the shower and sat down on the toilet, propping my leg on the side of the tub. David rifled through the bag and removed the tube of antibiotic and packages of gauze and tape. Tearing through the paper with his teeth, he lightly pressed the cotton square over the stitches.
“I don’t just stare at your tits, although they are fantastic. I stare at you. I never thought I would see you again, much less have you talk to me. I’m waiting to wake up and find out that this was some fucked up dream I had. I’m just trying my best to remember everything I can before that happens.”
My lips curled down against my will into a frown. I knew all too well the feeling he was fighting within as I too battled those demons. I reached out and gently stroked the side of his face as he cared for my wounds. Without a word, I cocked my head to the side and took him in. I leaned forward and kissed the top of his head and brought him close.
“Just don’t close your eyes too long, okay?”
He stood and left me alone in the bathroom to finish getting ready. After digging through my suitcase, I realized I needed different clothes if I was going to be helping at the bar for a while.
“Hey David, if you have time, can we go into town? Or you can just drop me off at the house and I can get the truck. I need some stuff from town.”
He came back into the bedroom, brushing his teeth. “Yeah, I got nothing. We can go and see your dad for a bit, too.”
I smiled and then turned to slide into my flip flops and get a cup of coffee before we headed out.
David dropped me off at a mall a few blocks from the strip where I found a little place that sold exactly what I would need: lots of black camisoles and washed denim shorts. I picked up a giant men’s belt buckle and a straw fedora while I was at it. I skipped the cute heels and found a pair of tan cowboy boots. The chance I would need to kick some drunken piece of shit after I’d been on my feet for a few hours came to mind as soon as I saw them. Loading the bags into the car, I couldn’t help but smile as we drove to the hospital.