by Brooks, JL
“How bad was the damage?” I was curious since I hadn’t been inside to see it, yet.
“Oh, it was just glass. The Shop Vac got it up; they didn’t have time to do anything else. I just worked in the garage for a little bit, straightening up a few things; it wasn’t too bad. I called the sheriff and listed the damage. The girls will be responsible for the repairs since you pressed charges. Good luck at getting the money, though, but all is back to normal.”
I laughed at his choice of words. “Nothing is ever normal for us.”
Standing and taking his shirt off, he balled it up and threatened to throw it at me. I raised my hands in a defensive position, so he slung it over his shoulder and went into the bathroom. A little while later, he emerged, wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Nothing extraordinary, but he looked positively edible in it. I licked my lips before returning to the screen.
“I’m not a sandwich, woman, stop it.”
How he knew what I was thinking never stopped surprising me. I must be really bad at hiding my emotions. Good thing I am not a lawyer.
“Get some shoes on, we’re going for a ride.”
I was surprised I didn’t hear Donna being pulled in the driveway through the earbuds, yet I had them turned up pretty loud. Sliding over the back seat of the bike, I clung to his waist as he settled in. The desert air was slightly cool, but would feel wonderful against my skin. The wind blew David’s freshly showered scent directly into my face as I pressed my nose against his back and inhaled deeply.
We wound our way through Red Rock Canyon and to the top of Blue Diamond hill, overlooking Vegas in the distance. I was half expecting a few cars of teenagers making out; no one ever brought me up here, yet I had heard about it. David pulled out a few thin, flannel blankets from the saddlebag and a thermos mug. Holding the edges, he fluffed the blanket out along the ground before turning off the bike’s headlamp.
The moon was full and illuminated everything around us. He wrapped one of the blankets around me and opened the mug. Pouring out some hot chocolate, he handed me a small Styrofoam cup of the steaming liquid. Sitting cross-legged next to me, he sipped his own cup and smiled.
“So what’s the special occasion?” I taunted him about the motivation behind bringing me up here.
“You keep trying to do all these good things and getting shit on. It’s nothing special, just something to cheer you up.” He looked shy as he spoke. I loved how sweet he could be with the simplest things. He knew I wasn’t the type to be impressed by flash and dramatics. This was perfect.
“Thanks.”
“You wanna talk about what happened last night or not?” Taking another drink, he was curious to know what went down that landed me back in my daddy’s room at three in the morning.
I laughed loudly, thinking about it after a good rest. “Well, he got pissed I told you about us. Said I wasn’t acting like I was sad about my daddy. Accused me of dancing, said I looked like a prostitute and that was all before one of the valets at the Bellagio called me Mrs. Stark in front of him. I left and went to a church and screamed at a statue of Jesus for a while until this hot priest came out and calmed me down. He told me my daddy has been giving a lot to the church for a long time.”
David’s eyes grew wide hearing the reference to me being his wife. He closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.
“I should have punched his ass when I had the chance.”
He completely ignored my comment about Father Mike and focused on my encounter with Andrew. Speaking softly, I looked directly at him. “David, he knows about us. Not the shower, but that we’ve slept in the same bed and kissed. I didn’t hide it from him when he asked. I’m not a good liar. He told me to make up my mind about what I wanted, but said he wasn’t going to wait long.”
I clenched my jaw so hard I felt my teeth might break. It wasn’t David’s fault that this shit was happening. He was just caught in the middle of it. My daddy dying was one thing; my broken marriage was another. Both were life altering events.
“I’m sorry.” I could hear the remorse in his voice. As he balled up and wrapped his arms around his knees, I knew I couldn’t let him go there with this on his shoulders. Unwrapping his blanket, I pulled him to his feet. Grasping one hand within mine, I placed his other on my hip and mine on his shoulder. Resting my head against his chest, I started to sway slowly back and forth, humming the tune to his favorite Steel Panther song. A deep laugh rolled out of his chest when he realized what it was.
“You are too funny, woman.”
“Just shut up and dance with me.”
For the first time in my life, I danced with David Stark. Of all the things we had done together, that was not one of them. I felt so small and protected in his embrace as he gently shifted from one foot to the other, leading me across the ridge that overlooked the bright city. From here, Vegas looked unreal. Light spanned as far as the eye could see, destroying any hope of seeing stars, but it was gorgeous. More and more people began to arrive and enjoy their own private view of a nocturnal paradise.
He squeezed me tightly before turning me around and pulling me against his back, facing towards the horizon.
“So does this mean you’re heading back? What about your daddy?”
I could hear the pain in his voice. I didn’t want to think about it right now. I was still too furious and freshly wounded by Andrew’s callous behavior.
“No, you’re stuck with me for now. I’m not heading back, yet, unless you insist, but even then, I will tell you to go fuck yourself.”
Large hands grabbed my ribs and began to squeeze, dropping me to the ground in laughter. Folding into a cross-legged position, I curled back into his chest and rested my head on his shoulder. David nuzzled his nose into my neck and continued to tickle me in any way he could.
“So who’s this hot priest you were hitting on? I’m kind of jealous. You really don’t have any boundaries, do you?”
He laughed as I nudged his chest and growled. “It was Fr. Mike down at the Sangre De Cristo Parish. It was the closest church I could find.”
David grazed his teeth along my shoulder absentmindedly, yet it caused a stirring in my core.
“Yeah, he’s at the hospital a lot. Cool dude. I will kick his ass if he looks at you wrong.”
I smiled at his sudden jolt of envy, yet slapped his thigh at the same time. He didn’t ask any more questions, simply held me tighter and watched the blazing field dance with electricity. I loved how I could sit here with him silently, but it was still comfortable. There was no need to impress or entertain. We were content with each other’s company. I was even more flattered that David had purposefully not tried to date or bring home a girl since I arrived. I knew that had to be hard.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I really do love your company, but if you’re missing out on booty calls, don’t worry about me. I will be okay; you don’t have to hang out with me all the time.”
I hated thinking about David being with another woman, but it was unfair to her for me to keep stealing her romantic dates and keep him from finding someone who could make him happy.
“Shush, woman, I’m good. You’re stuck with me, too.”
Rolling slowly down the windy roads out of the canyon, I sighed in relief. David always knew exactly what I needed to decompress. He seemed to get just as much out of these small escapades as I did. Arriving back at his house, I walked into the kitchen to start dinner. I was starving after a whole day of not eating. His fridge looked much more acceptable since I arrived; there were actually frozen meats and vegetables next to the vodka bottles.
My daddy used to make these little things called kraut burgers with beef and onions wrapped in bread dough. They were simple enough, but David used to love them. I surprised him when I started to fold the dough over the mix into little pouches and brush them with butter before putting them in the oven.
“Are those what I think they are?” He rubbed his belly and grinned from ea
r to ear.
“Yes, I figured it’s been a while, and they sounded good. I take it you agree?”
Pinching the tops of the dough and flipping them over, I sprinkled a little garlic powder on the ones waiting to cook. I made enough so he would have plenty to eat later; he wouldn’t leave the kitchen now that he knew what I was making.
He opened the cabinets and set the table as I finished washing the rest of the dirty dishes. It was a comfortable silence as we milled about our tasks. His house now felt lived in, not merely occupied. When I arrived, he didn’t have little things like dish towels; he was always using massive amounts of paper towels, which didn’t have a holder. I came to the conclusion women must be the ones who look at them as conveniences.
The alarm on the stove chirped, and David jumped over with a potholder and yanked the pan out of the oven, throwing the next batch in. I had to slap his hand away because they were hot.
“You are worse than a fucking kid. Three minutes, that’s it. Get the mustard out, it won’t kill you.”
“Do I have mustard?” He walked to the fridge, concerned I forgot the all- important condiment.
“Yes, you do now. Watch the expiration date; I found some scary shit in there when I cleaned it out. No one should own pickles that are four years past due.”
He blushed with embarrassment while pulling out the rest of the items for dinner. The noises that poured out of him were inhuman. He inhaled four within a ten minute period.
“Dude, you are going to be on the toilet for a few hours after that – I hope it was worth it. I don’t think I want to sleep next to you.”
Lifting a cheek and letting the fart vibrate on the chair, he picked up another and happily started chomping. All I could do was roll my eyes and let out my own little pitch of air. He looked disgusted at my mimicking behavior.
“Don’t even go there. Girls fart; anyone who tells you they don’t is a liar.”
Picking off another piece of the dough, I popped it in my mouth and gave a duck face.
David still held a disgusted expression. “You’re so not hot when you’re being gross; it’s like you’re my sister and not someone I want to bang.”
“And you’re charming, well, all the time when you’re not being an asshole.” I laughed back.
Once we were fully stuffed, we cleared the kitchen and went to see what was on TV. Another thing that changed when I arrived was that David watched significantly less than he did before. When it was on now, we both enjoyed the mindless activity. He found his favorite show about zombies on the DVR and grabbed a blanket. Spooning on the couch, I curled into him every time one got killed; it was incredibly graphic and filmed for shock value. During a commercial, he started to growl like one of the zombies into my ear.
“Stop it, not funny.” I smacked his hand away as he crawled his fingertips across my arm. More growling ensued.
“I said stop it, not funny. I don’t watch this shit. I am going to have nightmares for a while because of this.”
He rolled up over me, pinning my arms above my head and groaning, “Braiiinnnnnsssss.”
My thighs were pinned under his knees, rendering me helpless. I could twist all I wanted, but it wouldn’t work. Just short of spitting on his face, or hoping I could get a leg loose to kick him in the nuts, I knew not to fight. He would move something eventually, allowing me to wiggle into a better position.
“C’mon, Toni, fight baby. It’s been so long since we tussled, I want to see if you still remember how.”
Remaining motionless, I knew this wasn’t a fair way to start, with me locked down; he was just seeing how far he could push me. Instinctively, I was calculating my next move. His right arm was his dominant and most strong, but he was able to use his left just as well. I might be able to get a half hold around him, but without causing some serious bodily harm; this was just for fun.
“Give me an inch and let me show you what I can do.” I meant loosening me a bit, yet his eyes took on a darkened look, finding another meaning.
Using one hand to hold both of mine still, he slid one arm behind my thigh to catch it just as he let up.
“An inch is what you want? How about seven more?”
David angled himself between my legs and pushed his groin hard into my center. The slight touch of something else besides my hands or clothing instantly made me flush. He saw how I was reacting as my breathing grew heavy and rotated his hips while chuckling low in his throat.
“Mmmhmm, that’s what I thought.”
I wrapped my thighs around his waist and locked my ankles behind his back, raising my hips up higher. His hands moved under my shirt and slipped one of my breasts out of the bra, allowing it to fall slightly to the side in his cupped palm, teasing the nipple with his thumb. Lifting the shirt to expose my bared chest, he took the peaked bud into his mouth and sucked gently. I couldn’t stop the small moans from driving out of my throat. My hands roamed frantically over his head and back as he licked and nipped at flesh, catching fire with each sweep of his tongue. Pulling off his own shirt, he then ripped off my shorts and threw them over his shoulder.
I did not shake as I did the first time long ago. I knew exactly what I was getting into and the hunger was slicing through me like glass. I felt like if I wasn’t impaled shortly, I would burst. His weight rested over my body, held by his forearms to keep from crushing me. Gently brushing my hair away from my cheeks, he leaned down and teased my mouth with his tongue.
David’s lips were soft and voluptuous; I dared to say they were beautiful. There was no part of him that was not absolute perfection, including his cock. He had not even touched me there, yet, taking his time working me into a frenzy. He knew how long I had waited, denied the most important of caresses. Forcing my hips up, he pulled away, knowing I wanted more, lifting up and laughing into my mouth. I both protested and begged through moans and whimpers. Gone was the cocky yet considerate boy who took my innocence; he had been replaced by a man with over a decade of experience and nowhere to be. I wanted to lick his skin, take him in, every part of him, but he wouldn’t move. He liked kissing me – for the first time, not out of an angry circumstance, but at his own pace, free to do as he wished.
I missed being kissed. The way my mind grew dizzy despite lying on my back. My body tingled beneath him, every pore full of life.
“Please,” I begged into his mouth.
He laughed once again into mine. “Say it again.”
“Please.”
His hand ran over my damp panties and lightly smacked my swollen mound. Grabbing behind one thigh and sliding the other arm beneath me, I was easily picked up and backed forcefully against the wall. Setting my feet down for a moment, his fingers slid along the edge of my panties and roughly pulled them to the ground. Stopping between my legs, he buried his face and inhaled deeply before kissing my center softly. Not bothering to do more, he lazily ran his tongue up my abdomen and over one of my breasts before returning to my mouth. Pressed against his shorts, I felt it unfair he was still wearing clothing while I was completely naked against the wall.
As he paused and stared into my eyes, I leaned out and pecked him against the lips. “I love you,” I said with shallow breaths.
In that moment, something in him changed. His face grew pained and he gently set me down. “I can’t do this, Toni, not yet.”
Still caging me against the wall, he groaned as I lightly kissed his chest.
“Why not? I want to.”
His eyes watered slightly as he looked down. I could tell his dick was hard as a rock, and he was just barely willing himself through it.
“I’ve already taken something that didn’t belong to me, and I have spent my whole life wanting to make up for it. I can’t take this from you, too.”
He moved swiftly away from me and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on roughly before picking up his keys and heading for the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned around and gave me the saddest face I had ever seen. “I love you too mu
ch, I’m sorry.”
With that, I was left alone in his house as I heard the GT speed out of the driveway and into the night.
I struggled to comprehend what just took place. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the numbness that cloaked my soul like a heavy shroud. Losing consciousness, I slipped into the recesses of my mind, colliding with a memory so vivid, I screamed out in pain. I knew it wasn’t real, yet my body was shivering uncontrollably under his weight. I wanted this more than anything, and here I was scared out of my mind.
All I could do was watch as his fingers traced along the curves of my body. They cupped my ample breast and held them in place while his mouth descended over my sensitive nipple and sucked gently. “You finally got those boobies I wanted to see,” he joked. The muscles in my face pulled taut with distress, but David’s eyes only looked at the body beneath him with love. I felt like a ghost, but ghosts aren’t supposed to feel lips on bodies that don’t exist.
Going to the other side, I gasped as his teeth gently clamped down and tugged back. I tangled my own fingers in his soft, dark, curly hair, causing it to stick up in every direction. My body was still glowing in the aftershocks of coming so hard. He had just tasted me. I remembered. He said it would hurt less. Knowing in just moments, the irreversible act of losing my virginity was about to take place, the feeling of knots tied in my stomach as I questioned if I was doing the right thing. I wanted to scream and run away, telling myself not to do this. If only I stopped this moment, the rest of my life might be different, yet I could not force my body to move. I was helpless to stop the cataclysm of events that was about to unfurl. He leaned away from me onto his knees and tugged his boxers down, causing me to choke.
“There is no way you are getting that in me, you are going to break my hips or jab a kidney,” I said.
My seventeen-year-old consciousness ran parallel to my current state of existence, both sets of thoughts weaving together in a jagged tapestry of cruelty. I eventually stopped fighting and allowed the memories to consume me. He started laughing, but I was completely serious. A growth spurt a few years before caused him to tower over me by almost a foot, but nothing had prepared me for this.