Ignited

by Suzannah Daniels

  “All I wanted to do was love their son. Have his babies. I guess that wasn’t enough. They required a college degree for their approval, and I’ve never had any intentions of going to college, which has also caused me friction with my own parents.

  “After Carey died, they wanted me to start school.”

  “You don’t like the idea of going to college?”

  “I hated school. I know I was born a few decades too late, but what’s wrong with wanting to be a wife and mother?”

  He smoothed my hair with his fingertips. “Not a damn thing.”

  “I don’t have anything against women who graduate from college and have successful careers. I say more power to them. I wish them nothing but success, and I can appreciate them trailblazing their way into the male-dominated world. Maybe someday their actions will help my daughter. But that’s not the life that I want.

  “I want to find someone who will love me like I’m the only one for him. And I want to love him the same way. I want to make his dinner and have his children. I want to drink sweet tea on the porch on warm summer days and sit by a fire on cold winter nights while we snuggle beneath a blanket. I want to rock my children while they’re babies, and when they’re in school, I want to bake them cookies and help them with homework.” A nervous laugh sounded softly from my lips. “This is usually the part where people tell me that I would be too dependent on a man. What if we get divorced? What if he…dies?”

  He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingertips skimming my face. “Then you better make sure you pick the right man. Not much a man can do about dying, but a man who protects his family will have enough life insurance in place to provide for his wife and children.”

  “You don’t think I’m unambitious?” I asked, glancing up at his face.

  “On the contrary, I think taking care of a family is a lofty goal.”

  “You do?”

  “I don’t know what could be more rewarding than taking care of the people that you love. Of course, that’s not an easy task, but then nothing worth having is ever easy. At the end of the day, family’s what’s most important.”

  Tears filled my eyes. I didn’t know why his approval was so important to me, but it was. Maybe because there were days when I felt no one understood me, that I wouldn’t measure up if I didn’t pursue a college degree.

  When my tears spilled over, he gently wiped them away. “Don’t cry.” He leaned toward me, his lips gently touching my own. I felt comfort in his kiss as it melted away the cold edges of my world. The tenderness in his touch promised a man who knew how to treat a woman, how to love her, how to make her feel like she was the only thing in his world that mattered.

  Feeling the need to be enveloped in the emotions that he evoked, I snuggled closer, clenching a fistful of his shirt as desire washed over me. In tune with my sentiment, he slipped his hand beneath the hem of my shirt, his warm palm settling on the curve of my waist. My heart raced frantically, and following his lead, I hesitantly slid my fingertips under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his torso.

  Fueled by my actions, his hand rose higher, his thumb brushing the underside of my bra. “You okay?”

  My eyes lowered to my left hand, resting flat against his chest. I was wearing Corey’s ring while I kissed another man.

  Should I stop?

  My eyes rose to Hawk’s face. He was everything a girl could want in a man. Corey was gone, but I was still alive.

  I gently pulled the ring from my finger, and twisting my body around, I set it on the end table. Turning back to Hawk, I trailed my fingertips along his well-defined jawline. “I’m okay,” I whispered.

  All of his other kisses had been slow, tender. Now, he kissed me with an urgency that excited me, his tongue igniting the desire that began to engulf my body. My breath came in heavy pants as he pulled away, his eyes glazed with need. It had been months since I had even been kissed by a man, let alone touched, and I craved more.

  As I remembered all the things he’d done to help me, all the kind words he’d whispered, all the things that he had made me feel, I wanted him.

  Unable to take his hesitation a moment longer, I leaned over and peeled back the collar of his shirt, placing a gentle kiss along his collar bone. His hands found my waist again, and he settled on his back as he pulled me on top of him.

  Reaching up to feel a strand of hair between his fingertips, he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

  His hands moved to the tiny buttons on my shirt, and he slowly began to unbutton them, his eyes watching my face for my reaction.

  I licked my lips and fidgeted in an effort to relieve the ache that had built between my legs.

  After he freed the last button, my shirt fell open. His fingertips skimmed my abdomen as he explored my body. Reaching up, he pushed the fabric over my shoulders, pulling it away until my shirt was discarded in the floor.

  His palms cupped the sides of my waist, pushing my body downward against his. His thumbs began skimming upward, outlining the edge of my bra.

  I tilted my head back, thrusting my breasts outward. I wanted to feel his hands against my bare skin. His thumbs pushed their way beneath the fabric, and I sucked in a breath as they brushed against my breasts.

  Closing my eyes, I arched my back, pushing my weight downward. If he didn’t touch me soon, I would explode with wanting.

  One palm gripped my waist firmly, as his other hand reached around my back and released the clasp of my bra. He held it in place as his eyes watched mine. When he was satisfied with my response, he pulled the bra away, letting it join my crumpled shirt.

  His palms skimmed over my breasts, and I closed my eyes and pressed them into his hands. When his fingertips brushed against my nipples, I couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped my lips. Pulling me down to him simultaneously as he leaned upward, he sucked my nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his warm tongue. He left a wet trail across my chest as his tongue teased its way to the opposite side. I trembled with need, unable to concentrate on anything except the feel of his mouth on my body.

  When his thumb rubbed my cleft though the fabric of my jeans, my eyes flew open. He gazed at my face as he deftly unbuttoned my pants. He hesitated briefly as if he were still testing me. “All you have to do is say the word, and I’ll….”

  “I know.” My voice was no more than a whisper, and I shifted down his body as I lowered my mouth to his, my hair fanning around us like a curtain.

  His hand glided down my back, sliding farther and farther until he slipped it into the back of my panties, cupping my flesh.

  Pushing myself back into a sitting position, I unbuttoned his shirt, my hands eager to feel his flesh. I pushed the fabric to either side, and my hands outlined the ridges of his muscles. His physique could easily turn a girl’s eye, but it was the way he made me feel that turned me on the most.

  My hands unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. I ached for him. I could feel his erection beneath me, and knowing the effect I was having on him sent shivers down my spine. Guilt tugged at my conscience, but I pushed it away. I knew this day would come—the day that I would have to move on. I just hadn’t known when.

  Was I ready for our relationship to become more serious?

  I scooted back and cupped him with my palm. He blew a breath out between his teeth. “Amber….”

  “You don’t want me to do that?”

  He groaned. “More than you know, but….”

  “I like the way you make me feel, Hawk.” I ran my hand beneath his boxers, feeling the velvet tip of his erection.

  He grabbed my wrist, stilling my hand. Then in one quick move, I was on the couch beneath him. Rising to his knees, he tugged my jeans down past my hips, my panties scooting with them. I quickly grabbed the edge of my lacy underwear, holding it in place, as he and I worked to free me of my jeans.

  Once he had removed my jeans, he wavered, staring down at me as his chest heaved with each breath. “You don’t know how bad I want you.”<
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  I thought of the first day that he’d left me that pack of Skittles. It was such a small thing, but I think I knew then that he was someone special.

  He smoothed a palm up my abdomen and over my breast. Filled with need, I grabbed his wrist and moved his hand lower until he flattened it over the apex of my thighs. Arching my back, I moved his hand back and forth, silently begging him to touch me.

  I gasped when he slid his hand lower, feeling me through the thin fabric. He huffed out a breath. “Damn….”

  I arched against his fingers, desperate to feel his touch. He rubbed harder, his fingertip pushing the fabric into my cleft as he stroked me.

  Writhing, I cupped my breasts as my hips undulated beneath him. “Please, Hawk.”

  He slipped his fingertips beneath the edge of the fabric, and I released a shattered breath. “Take these off,” he said softly. He peeled my panties from my hips, holding them as I slipped them off my legs. Clad only in a thin pair of socks, I felt vulnerable.

  After removing his shirt, his attention returned to me. Grasping my thighs, he separated them and used his thumbs to open me to him, examining me in the dim light that spewed from the television. His fingers stroked and teased, and it wasn’t long before my nakedness was forgotten. All I could concentrate on was his fingers and the intense sensations that he was building.

  When his finger slipped inside me, the pleasure exploded through my body like a geyser spewing hot water and steam until I could barely breathe. The spasms rocked my body, and I moaned unabashedly as I floated in ecstasy. After I finally quieted, I closed my eyes and lay motionless, my body relaxed as I recovered from his sweet torture.

  I opened my eyes when his tongue teased my nipple. Reaching for him, I slipped my hand beneath his clothing, feeling the length of his hardness. I was more than ready for him, and I began to tug at his jeans. “Take those off.”

  “Not tonight, Amber.”

  “Why?”

  “Let’s just say that I hadn’t planned on taking things this far. I thought we could just enjoy each other’s company for a little while, but one thing led to another...and well, I’m extremely attracted to you. But I’m not prepared protection-wise, and for me, making love requires a commitment, and I’m not sure you’re ready for that.”

  His words were unexpected, and I stared at him, trying to process the meaning. “I am ready,” I countered. “Having sex isn’t something that I take lightly.”

  “I didn’t mean to suggest that it was.”

  “I know you didn’t because you’re a good guy, Hawk.”

  He picked up my clothing and held it out to me, and I immediately began dressing. “I’m sorry, Amber. It’s my fault. I should’ve had more control. It’s just when I look at you…I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I want to protect you. I want to take care of you. And yes, I want to make love to you.

  “But the one thing I don’t want to do is take advantage of you. I know you’ve been through quite an ordeal.”

  Having already donned my undergarments, I slid on my jeans and fastened them. Then, pulled on my shirt and buttoned it.

  Gripping both of my shoulders, he squared up with me. “I just want you to take a few days to make sure that you’re ready for a relationship with me before we do something that you end up regretting. I don’t want to be a mistake.”

  Maybe he was right. Maybe I would have awoken in the morning and thought about things differently than I did at this moment.

  I picked up my engagement ring and slid it back on my finger.

  Chapter 12

  Bail Out

  Hawk

  As a firefighter I’d been trained to bail out of situations where intense heat and flames made it too dangerous to continue my duties. I knew how to rappel out of windows and dive head-first down escape ladders in bulky turnout gear.

  And while I didn’t have to worry about dying from the combustion that had happened between Amber and me, I had feared that she might have had second thoughts the next morning. Part of me was afraid that she’d run, and I’d never see her again.

  I knew what I wanted, but I needed her to be sure that she wanted the same thing. I’d seen positive changes in her, but I had to know that I was the one she wanted a relationship with. I had to know that I wasn’t just a poor substitution for her former fiancé.

  It’d been four days since I’d seen her. I’d had a hell of a difficult time staying away from her, but I’d told her that I would give her a few days to think about things. Her quick agreement indicated that she also thought a little time away from each other would clear her head, let her ensure that her feelings for me were genuine, not displaced emotions that she no longer knew how to expel.

  Feeling somewhat anxious as I left the fire hall, I made the decision to visit her tonight. I hoped that our brief separation had solidified her feelings for me, not proven that my worst fears were accurate.

  My cell phone rang.

  Glancing at the screen, I realized it was Jace.

  “Hey, bro,” I answered.

  He skipped the greeting. “I’ve got some news for you, and I’m coming by your apartment when I get off work.” I heard sirens over the speaker. “I’ve got a call. Gotta go. I’ll see you shortly.”

  The phone clicked as he hung up.

  As I pulled to a stop at a red light, I looked at the screen, confirming that the call had ended. “Way to jerk me around with a freaking cliffhanger,” I grumbled, fighting the urge to call him back.

  It’d probably be a couple of hours before his shift ended, so I decided to run to the grocery store while I waited.

  Two hours later, I had everything put away, and I was flipping channels when he rang my doorbell.

  Like me, he usually changed at the station. Instead of his police uniform, he was wearing jeans, a tee shirt, and a gun.

  I waved him in. “So what’s up?”

  “I’ve been trying to keep an eye on Amber like you asked.” He pointed at me. “And being the phenomenal police officer that I am, I spotted a suspicious vehicle with out-of-town plates that looked like it might be following her.”

  “What’d you do?”

  “Well, when the car initially passed her, it made an illegal U-turn. I stayed behind it long enough to tell that the driver was turning when she turned. So I pulled the car over.”

  “You did?”

  He nodded.

  “You had the person who’s been following her pulled over?”

  “I just said I did, didn’t I?”

  I shook my head. “I just wanted to make sure. So who was he?” If it was some guy intent on harming Amber, I was going to come unglued.

  Jace’s eyes lit up, and I could tell he was excited about the news. “You mean, ‘Who was she?’”

  “She?”

  He nodded. “Yep. It was a woman. Deborah Lawson.”

  “Deborah Lawson?”

  “Are you going to repeat everything I tell you?” Jace asked, a smirk on his face.

  “I just didn’t expect that.”

  “Do you know who she is?”

  “No, I’m not sure. I assume it’s her mother. How old was she?”

  “Mid-forties.”

  “That works out then. Right after the accident, Amber had me mail a letter to Deborah Lawson. Maybe all this time it was her parents who’ve been following her.” I thought about the elderly woman at the pharmacy guessing that the man she spoke to was in his twenties. Could she have been mistaken?

  “Don’t they know where she lives?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

  “What kind of car did you say she thought was following her?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t think she knew the make and model. Just that it was a white sedan.”

  Jace’s lips twitched as he thought. “This car was black. If it’s her parents following her, wouldn’t she recognize their cars?”

  “You would think.”

  “Yeah,�
� he agreed. “You would. Something’s odd about this whole situation. Maybe she has more than one person following her.”

  “I’m going to go talk to her right now, see if I can get some answers.” Snatching up my car keys, I followed him out the door.

  “You still want me to try to watch her while she’s riding back and forth to work?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  My mind was preoccupied as I wondered whether she was keeping secrets from me. She wouldn’t be the first person to move off and not tell her parents where she lived, but why would she feel the need to do that?

  Even though traffic was heavier than usual as I navigated across town along with all the people who were getting off work, it didn’t take me long to get to Amber’s house. I wondered if she’d had any idea that someone was following her.

  As a preventive measure, I doused my eyes with drops before I got out of the car and knocked on her door. She quickly opened it. At first, she seemed a little surprised to see me, but once she realized that I really was standing on her porch, a genuine smile brightened her face. “Hi.”

  Damn, I hadn’t expected the surge of relief that replaced the tension in my body. I’d missed her smile. “Hi.”

  “I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again.”

  Feeling guilty that she ever thought that, I ran my palms down her arms until I captured her hands in mine. “It was never about me not wanting a relationship, Amber. I just need to know that you’re sure it’s what you want. I don’t want you to look back and think I took advantage of you at a time when you were vulnerable.”

  She squeezed my hands and shook her head. “I could never think that about you, Hawk.”

  “So you’ve thought about it? About us?”

  She nodded and held up her hand, showing me that she was no longer wearing the ring. “I’m ready. I want a relationship with you.”

  Threading my fingers through her hair, I gently pulled her to me, desperately wanting to kiss her to celebrate the news. Her lips were soft and supple, her hands cold as she slid them under my shirt, flattening them out against my back.