“How?” I asked her. “Are you going to tell him another story that is fabricated, so that in his eyes you’ll be vindicated?”
“She’ll do no such thing.”
Surprised, we both turned to see Carey standing just outside the room. I had no idea how much he had heard, but he’d obviously heard a portion of our conversation.
He entered the room, and seconds later, his father joined him.
“Mother, I asked you and Dad to be here because I have an announcement to make. And based on what I just heard, any doubts I had on my timing have been laid to rest.”
His mother eyed him, eager to hear what he had to say.
“Amber and I have been through enough.” He looked at his mother. “I chose her to be my wife, and I’m asking you now to respect my decision.”
“But honey….”
Carey raised his hand to stop her. He opened his mouth to speak, but the doorbell chimed, interrupting him.
His mother went to answer it, her heels clicking across the hardwood floor. She pulled the door open, revealing an elderly man in a dark suit, a bible clutched in his hands.
“Reverend Myers, what an unexpected surprise.”
The reverend’s eyes opened wider in response to her statement.
“Actually, Mother, I asked him to come.”
She spun around. “You did?”
After motioning for the reverend to come in, Carey walked to me and took my hands in his. “Amber, I promised you that nothing would come between us, and I’m prepared to prove that to you right here, right now.” He rubbed his thumb over the engagement ring on my finger. “Will you marry me?”
Hawk
I paced the room like a caged dragon, ready to breathe fire on anything that moved. The anger that consumed me was a new and unwelcome feeling. I’d told Mason that I couldn’t go to Amber, that her happiness was more important than mine.
And it was.
But I couldn’t stop the what-ifs from plaguing my mind. What if he didn’t make her happy? What if it was me? What if I was the one who was meant to make her happy? What if she was waiting for me to show her that I loved her, that I wanted her for myself?
What if my decision to stay here and do nothing was the reason that I lost her forever?
My thoughts were selfish in nature, and I shook my head, trying to keep her best interests in mind. What if he was making her deliriously happy even now? What if she felt like she’d finally gotten her rainbow?
I didn’t want to make it harder for her. I didn’t want her to see me agonizing over her decision. I didn’t want her to feel bad or guilty.
I wanted her to be happy.
Even if it meant being with him.
Halting in mid-step, I squeezed my head with the heels of my palm. “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”
It was in my nature to put other people first. I wasn’t a hard man to please, but shit, this was one situation where I was struggling. I loved Amber, and I wanted to bring her back to Creekview.
I wanted her to be my wife.
Walking with purpose toward my bedroom, I snatched my laptop and carried it to the kitchen table. My fingers flew over the keyboard as I booked a flight to New York.
Amber
I glanced from Carey to the preacher, then back to Carey. Panic clawed at my gut. “Now? You want to get married right now?”
He reached for my hand and threaded our fingers together. “Yes, right now. Will you marry me?”
This was the moment I had dreamed of for so long, but it only takes one moment to change everything. And now I questioned everything I thought I wanted.
“Amber?”
I glanced up to see his mother glaring at me, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, but what about my parents? I want to at least tell them what I’m going to do.” I knew my parents would approve, even if I got married at this moment. I knew I was stalling because I needed more time to reflect on the reality of the situation.
“We’ll have a reception in a few days after our honeymoon. That will give them time to come to New York. But I want you to marry me today.” He squeezed my hand and touched my cheek.
In the past few months, I would have given anything for him to be standing in front of me, saying those exact words. “Tonight then. Let me talk to my parents.” I looked down at my attire, jeans and a pullover top. “And I want to at least wear a dress on my wedding day. It doesn’t have to be fancy.”
“Maybe you should postpone this, son,” his father said.
“She’ll need time to get a proper wedding dress,” his mother added.
“I don’t care what you wear,” Carey said, his eyes studying my face. “I just want you to be my wife.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Can you give me until tonight? Let me talk to my parents, and let me change into a dress. I have one at your apartment that will work just fine.”
“Our apartment,” Carey corrected me.
My lips curved into a weak smile. “Our apartment.”
Carey turned back toward the reverend. “Could you meet us back here at seven o’clock tonight?”
“Of course.”
Hawk
I didn’t bother packing. While I waited for my flight, I spent my time locating an address for Carrington Reed, III. The Reeds were a prominent family in New York City, and it wasn’t difficult to find him.
After scribbling the address on a piece of scrap paper, I closed the laptop, grabbed my keys, and headed toward the closest airport to me, which was in Chattanooga.
Anxiousness took over during the uneventful drive. I had nothing to distract me from my greatest fear—that Amber would choose him. Taking a deep breath, I reasoned that I should expect that. I should expect her to tell me that the two of them are happy, that she now has everything she ever wanted.
I was unsure what Carey’s reaction would be when I showed up on his doorstep, and in all honesty, I had no beef with the guy. Neither he nor Amber had done anything wrong, but that didn’t negate the fact that we were all in a rather strange situation.
I had no idea whether I was doing the right thing. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I had no right to go charging off to New York to see another man’s fiancée, but maybe the one thing that would be even more wrong than that would be to let her slip away without making it clear that I wanted her to stay in Creekview with me.
Relieved when I finally made it to the airport, I parked the car and checked the gate on my ticket.
The Chattanooga airport was relatively small with a single concourse, so it didn’t take me long to find my gate. It also didn’t take long for the anxiety to return. A myriad of emotions churned within me, but I focused on Amber. When I first met her, I wanted to ignite her with a passion for life. What I hadn’t expected was that she would ignite me with a passion that couldn’t easily be doused.
I wanted to see her sweet face again, to hear her say my name, to feel her touch. When the right woman comes along, she has a way of infusing herself into a man, of taking over his mind like a sorceress until he’s unable to think of anything but her, of making him crave her with the same vehemence that he craves the very things he needs for survival.
Turning my fisted hand until I could see my wrist, I ran my fingertip over the script that had been inked on my flesh.
Amber was the right woman for me.
But was I the right man for her?
While I waited for my flight to board, I called Jace to fill him in on my plans. When I hung up, the announcement for my flight bellowed over the loudspeaker.
I was so consumed by imagining what I would say to Amber that the flight seemed like it ended as soon as it began.
When I landed in New York, I was just going through the motions. My mind was preoccupied as it ran through different scenarios. Would she be glad to see me? The answer terrified me.
It was dark as I hailed a cab. Once I’d given the driver the address, he zoomed off, navigating the city streets li
ke a cheetah chasing a gazelle.
Being a firefighter, I was no stranger to speed, but as cars raced around us and skyscrapers twinkled with lights, I felt out of place.
I was in Carey’s world, and I was already eager to get back home. I just hoped that I didn’t have to book a flight back alone.
When the cab driver pulled up in front of a ritzy apartment building, I gazed out the window, noticing the awning that stretched out over the elegant entryway. I paid for the cab ride and stepped onto the sidewalk. An elderly doorman in a navy hat and overcoat intercepted me as I approached the building.
“May I help you, sir?”
I swallowed, glancing through the glass doors at the lighted entryway behind him. Thinking about Amber, I focused back on his face. “I’m looking for Carey Reed.”
The doorman smiled, laugh lines creasing his clean-shaven face. “Mr. Reed is out for the evening.”
“Do you know when he’ll be back?”
His smile widened. “I don’t think it will be anytime soon.” He glanced at his watch. “He’s probably on his honeymoon right about now.”
“His honeymoon?” My stomach lurched. I was too late. Maybe if I’d listened the day that Mason told me to come after her….
“I haven’t seen him that happy in quite some time,” the doorman continued. “Apparently, the wedding was spur of the moment. Quite romantic, don’t you think?”
He misread the devastation that I knew was evident on my face.
“You’re a friend of his?” He smiled again. “Don’t worry about not getting invited to the wedding. The way he talked it was a small, family gathering. He’s planning a reception when they get back in town. You can celebrate with him then.”
I forced a smile. “Yeah.” I exhaled. “I’ll have to buy him a drink when he gets back.” I thumbed toward the street. “I guess I’ll grab a cab. Thanks for your help.”
“Let me hail a cab for you.” He walked toward the street, lifting his gloved hand in the air. A taxi immediately swerved up to the curb and stopped. After thanking him, I took one last look at the apartment building where Amber would now live, and then I collapsed into the back seat and instructed the driver to take me to a hotel.
As I fell asleep in a strange bed, images of Amber naked in another man’s arms haunted me. I could see her leaning over him, her silky hair caressing her bare shoulders. I could see him reaching out and touching her face, caressing her breast.
Surrounded by darkness, I traced the tattoo over my wrist. I couldn’t feel it, but I knew it was there. I knew what it represented.
And I knew I hated the number one.
***
The next morning, I stared out the window at the traffic on the street below. I knew I should be calling to book a flight home, but I couldn’t do it. Not yet.
Going home made if feel like I was turning my back on Amber. It forced me to realize the finality of the situation.
As a firefighter, I had to be aware of conditions that might lead to a flashover, a situation where the materials in a room are heated to their ignition temperatures, causing flames to erupt simultaneously. A flashover could be deadly to a firefighter.
And as I stood in the hotel room, I felt like I was in the center of a flashover with no way out. My world had erupted into flames, and as I realized that I would never see her again, I knew that when I finally did go back to Creekview, there would be nothing left but ashes.
So it was easier to stay here, to pretend that I still had a chance, that any moment I might see her on the street below and have an opportunity to tell her how much I loved her.
Instead of calling to book a flight home, I called the Captain and requested a few days off. I also called Jace and my parents. In no mood to talk to anyone, I kept my conversations brief, which was just as well because my phone was almost dead, and in my haste to get to Amber, I hadn’t brought a charger.
One. I couldn’t get the number out of my head.
The one girl I loved no longer needed me. The one girl I loved was on her honeymoon with another man. The one girl I loved was gone forever.
By the time the sun began setting, casting shadows in my room, it dawned on me that I hadn’t eaten all day. I walked down the hall to the vending machine and fed it money. As I looked over the choices, I realized that nothing appealed to me. Then my eyes fell on the bright red Skittles pack, and without further thought, I plugged it in as my selection.
After grabbing a bottled water, I walked back to my room, opened the package, and poured the candies into my palm.
I needed a rainbow.
Chapter 22
Firestorm
Hawk
Two days later, I finally checked out of my hotel room. On the ride to the airport, I noticed Christmas trees twinkling through windows, the glowing lights of oversized snowflakes attached to the sides of buildings, New Yorkers bundled in black overcoats and gloves as they scurried down the sidewalk with shopping bags and packages.
The weather had turned colder. Feeling defeated, I exhaled loudly. I couldn’t avoid reality forever, and I hoped that going back to work in a couple of days would help me feel useful. I told myself that one was a powerful number, but somehow, the message fell flat. Maybe once I did something meaningful like extinguishing a fire or helping someone who’d been in a wreck, I would begin to feel like myself again.
Hell, I’d settle for rescuing a cat out of a tree. That was better than wallowing in self-pity. At least then, I would be having a positive impact.
I thought of Gracie. Maybe I’d drop by and visit her, take her a toy. At this point, that was as close to Amber as I was going to get.
And I knew that it would make Amber happy.
Thunderstorms brewed along the East Coast. The flight home was riddled with turbulence, which seemed fitting with everything else going on in my life.
By the time we landed, several passengers around me looked like they were ready to whip out barf bags, and when the doors opened, eager passengers sprang from their seats.
While I waited for the surge of people to clear, I gazed out the small window at the steady drizzle that soaked everything in its path and gathered in puddles on the pavement.
It was the same scenery that greeted me on the drive home. When I finally arrived in Creekview, flash floods covered the main road through town, forcing me to drive slower than normal.
As I approached my driveway, I was surprised to find Jace’s car parked in front of my apartment. A moment of panic assaulted me as I wondered if something had happened to Mom or Dad. My phone had been dead, and my mind had been so focused on Amber, I hadn’t even thought about finding a phone, so that I could call in and check on them.
I hurried into my apartment and found Jace sitting at the kitchen table. Surprised when he heard the front door, he turned around, facing me as I stood at the entrance to the kitchen.
“You look like shit,” he said.
Absentmindedly, I reached toward the stubble that covered my face and brushed my fingertips across it. I’d showered just this morning, but I never bothered to buy any razors while I was in New York. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Are Mom and Dad okay?”
A strange look came over his face. “Yeah, why?”
I blew out a breath. “I just didn’t expect to come home and find you sitting at my kitchen table like you’re waiting on me or something.”
“And I didn’t expect you to be gone for three days.” He pointed at me accusingly as he stood up. “I also didn’t expect you to stop answering your phone. I was just about ready to fly to New York myself.”
He fished his car keys out of his pocket, walked past me to the front door, and stepped out onto the porch.
“Are you pissed?” I asked, following him outside, the cold air hitting me in the face as I closed the door behind me. “Shit, Jace, I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot on my mind the last few days.”
He shook his head as he stopped and
turned to face me. “No problem, bro, I’m not mad. I know you’ve had a lot going on. That’s why I’m here. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, besides making fart noises with my armpit, it’s to take care of the people in our lives.
“But now that you’re back, I’ll turn those duties back over to you. I’m going home now, and don’t worry about calling Mom and Dad tonight. I’ll let them know that you’re home.”
“You don’t have to rush off. In fact, I could probably use some company.”
“Sorry, Hawk. I can’t stay, but you can call me later if you need me. There’s an extra burger on the table.”
I could only stare as he walked to his car. If he were so intent on taking care of the people in his life, one would think he could sit down and talk to his own brother after a shitty few days.
He gave me one last glance, and then he got in his car and drove off.
Exhausted, I went back inside and turned toward the kitchen. I walked over and picked the extra burger up. Then, I tossed it back on the table and slipped into a chair. I held my head in my palms, trying my best to keep the feeling of defeat from overtaking me. But it was a battle I was losing.
“Oh, my gosh, Jace, I feel so much better after taking a shower. Now if Hawk would just…”
I stilled a moment, wondering if my ears were deceiving me. Slowly I lifted my head and turned toward the source of the soft voice that I had heard over and over in my head over the last few days.
“…come home.” She finished her sentence, her chest heaving with emotion. Her chin began to tremble as tears streaked down her face.
“Amber?” If this was a dream, then I hoped I remembered to put out the Do no disturb sign because I sure as hell didn’t want anyone to wake me up. I rose to my feet, facing her.
She sprinted into my embrace, her arms wrapping around my waist in a death grip as my muscles flexed to steady us both. I held her close, squeezing her to me, closing my eyes as I breathed in the scent of her freshly-washed hair. I wanted to remember this moment, the way her body melded so perfectly with mine, the way I felt when she was in my arms, the way we belonged together. It was everything I’d hoped to gain on my trip to New York. How was I to know that it was waiting on me in Creekview? That she was waiting on me in Creekview?
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