by Carmen Cook
And, somehow, it was still there.
Shaking herself from her thoughts, Regan tried to focus. She needed to do something, anything except standing here in Gavin’s doorway and daring him to prove he’d missed her.
Too late. Tugging her back into the entry, Gavin closed the door and promptly stepped into her personal bubble, pressing them together from shoulder to knee. He was rock solid and somehow still warm, despite having just been standing out in the icy wind watching his kids leave. She should push him away, but when she lifted her hands to do just that, her fingers curled into the soft cotton of his T-shirt. Bad fingers.
Regan closed her eyes and took a breath. A deep breath that pressed them even more tightly together and kicked her heartbeat up another notch. She just needed a minute to gather her thoughts. Those recently neglected parts were a bad influence now that they had a hope of getting some personal attention.
Her eyes flared wide as she heard Gavin chuckle.
“Don’t stop on my account,” he said, a wicked smile tugging his lips upward. “Keep breathing just like that. It’s the highlight of my day.”
Feeling her face flame, Regan retreated a step, even more embarrassed to realize he hadn’t been holding her at all, just stepped into her space, probably expecting her to step around him and into the house as he closed the door. Turning, she all but ran back into the kitchen in a futile attempt to outrun the warmth in her cheeks. Gavin followed at a more sedate pace and leaned his hip against the counter to watch as she searched for her purse.
He just stood there, filling up the room, robbing her of her good sense. The sooner she left, the sooner she could get her heart rate under control. And wasn’t that a sad testament of what her life had become, that she’d prefer to go home alone than explore this—whatever this was.
“I just need to find my stuff and I’ll get out of your hair,” she told him, looking everywhere but directly at him. Her sneakers were neatly tucked under one of the dining room chairs and she hurried to slip her feet into them, wishing beyond anything she’d worn something other than yoga pants.
All afternoon she’d debated begging Chloe to bring her some other clothes. Some makeup. Anything to help her make a better impression than the loungewear she’d put on after the lunch of doom with her father. But the kids had had more energy than any ten people she’d ever met. Each time she’d had a moment to think about it, the thought had been quickly shoved aside to deal with whatever mischief the kids were creating. Instead of primping, she’d played hide and seek and board games with them, and then they acted out a puppet show for her with their stuffed animals. And that was just within the first hour she’d been there. It hadn’t taken long to realize that she needed to pace herself or they’d somehow manage to create a Lord of the Flies–like colony before Gavin ever got home.
Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but things had gotten exponentially easier once she’d started to focus their energy. Which reminded her about the dinner they’d made. “There’s plenty of food left, even with what the kids took. I went a little overboard.”
She heard him chuckle again and couldn’t resist sneaking a glance his direction. He was still leaning against the counter, ankles crossed, arms loosely crossed over his chest, which emphasized his biceps and stretched his shirt across his shoulders.
Her mouth went dry at the sight. The man was completely lickable. And it had been far too long since she’d licked anything.
He’d filled out since the last time she’d seen him, packing on even more muscle, but he still had that lazy charm that had appealed to her from the start. His sable hair stood up in a few places and looked damp—not that she was going to get close enough to check—but he looked good. Too good.
“Run out of projects to keep them busy?” he guessed, nodding to the two still-full platters of kabobs.
“You have no idea,” she told him. “I hadn’t planned on being the babysitter when Becca called. But Chloe said she had burned a bridge, so…” she let her sentence trail off, hoping he would object. Tell her that it would have been fine for Chloe to have stayed with the kids. Something that would let her blame her sisters and making her face him this way. In yoga pants and without makeup. They had no idea just how big the can of worms they’d opened was.
Instead, he nodded. “The babysitter from hell,” he told her agreeably, not sounding at all perturbed at the thought. “When I got the message that Becca’s sister was stepping in, I just about had heart failure.”
Regan felt her shoulders slump. Damn, so the girls hadn’t been exaggerating.
She moved to the living room, all but tossing the couch cushions to the floor in her search for her purse.
Her only plan for the evening was to figure out how to open that damn bottle of wine. She let out a sigh and tried not to think about why she would rather rush back to her empty house instead of facing the music and apologizing for her past behavior. She needed to get hold of herself.
Gavin didn’t seem like he was holding a grudge.
Memories played through her mind like a slide show. Turning the corner while hiking up Blodgett Canyon and finding Gavin there, hiking down. His shirt off, his golden skin glistening with sweat, his dark hair damp and curling a little around his ears—much like it was now. They’d talked and he’d invited her to head back to town, to Lucy’s Café. She hadn’t thought twice. Sitting across from him in the diner, sharing some fries, they’d gotten to know each other better than they had before. Later, much later, they’d driven back up the mountain to find a place they wouldn’t be interrupted and had gotten to know each other better still.
It had been one day. One wonderful, magical day she’d carried with her throughout the years. And at the end of that day, she’d run, without saying good-bye. Because her plans hadn’t changed. She was still taking her softball scholarship and leaving as fast as she could.
But he’d tempted her, which scared her. More than she wanted to admit.
The irony wasn’t lost on her. She’d run all those years ago to avoid the questions that were waiting for her now in the kitchen. And just like before, she wasn’t staying in Sapphire Creek. There was a pile of applications sitting on her dining room table, just waiting for her to make a decision about her next step. Her recent stint in Central America, working with villagers in drought-ravaged areas, had sparked a need to work in a way that made a difference. She just needed to figure out how.
Scowling at the cushions, she returned them to their appropriate places, folded a throw blanket and draped it over the arm of the sofa while she was at it. She was working herself into a lather, knowing that Gavin was waiting for her. Relaxed but diligent, willing to wait her out.
Why was he doing that? She was no one to him. Barely a fling. One day of fun that happened many years ago.
After Gwen told her he was engaged she convinced herself it no longer mattered and tried to forgive herself for her childish behavior. For never calling him back when he’d tried to contact her. He’d moved on. It was time she did as well. She’d met Todd the next week and moved in with him a short time later.
Taking a deep breath, she refused to give any attention to the way her nipples tingled as they pressed against her shirt, aching for some attention from the man in the other room. The man who had the starring role in way too many of her fantasies over the past few years.
Instead, she silently willed all her parts to settle down. She would never be able to apologize if she couldn’t get a grip.
Lust she understood. It was a basic chemical reaction that afflicted everyone at one time or another. But she hadn’t been ready for it when it came to Gavin. With him, her feelings overwhelmed her, just like they had all those years ago.
Holy crap. Ten. Ten years ago now. How was it possible that so much time had gone by, yet it still felt like yesterday?
Why not just go for him? There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself with him while you’re here. He’d be the perfect rebound guy.
Regan paused. Could she do it? She’d be in Sapphire Creek for a few months at least. Her aunt Catherine was letting her stay in the house she’d originally purchased for her grandparents. It had been empty the past few years so it needed some serious work, which was perfect because Regan needed some work too. There was a bizarre sense of irony she’d appreciate once she thought about it. She was sure of it.
Wind battered the house, blowing branches against the siding and making Regan jump. She’d been in the living room longer than strictly necessary to search for her purse, taking a trip down memory lane. With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and finally returned to the kitchen.
Gavin perched against the counter, holding a kabob in one hand and licking the juices off the fingers of the other. Her gaze immediately went to his mouth, remembering the feeling of it against her skin. Good lord. He didn’t even have to touch her to rev her engine. With a shake of her head, she got herself moving again. “I just need to find my purse and I’ll get out of your way.” She’d already said that, hadn’t she? He was turning her into a simpleton.
“You don’t have to rush off,” he told her as he continued to suck at the juices clinging to his fingers. Why didn’t he grab a napkin? It was like he was doing it on purpose. His eyes crinkled at the corners, and she had to wonder if he could tell the turn her thoughts had taken. “We have some things to catch up on.”
Regan’s mouth went dry. “Like what?”
“Like why you ran away.” He said it mildly, but his eyes were serious as they held her gaze.
The bark of laughter caught her by surprise, but she couldn’t hold it back. Leave it to him to just lay it all out. “I didn’t run away. I went to college. You knew I was leaving when we… When we got together.”
“Yeah, on a scholarship. That’s not what I’m talking about.” Gavin straightened. “You were one of my sister’s closest friends, Regan. Every time I turned around, the two of you were at the house doing whatever it is girls do. And when you were off playing ball, she was at your house watching your sisters.”
She was stunned that he remembered anything about her, much less all of that. “You hadn’t been home in years. How could you possibly know any of that?”
He shrugged and grabbed another loaded skewer. “And then you left for a few years,” he said, sliding the charred slice of pepper off the skewer with his teeth. He popped it into his mouth, never dropping her gaze as he chewed. “Did you ever come home? I never ran into you. You never came to the house anymore. I always felt bad about that. Like maybe you regretted what we’d done and were avoiding the house so you wouldn’t run into me.”
Regan continued to stare at him. “Yeah, I came home,” she answered. “Not often.”
“Why not?” He tilted his head, waiting for her answer.
She drew in a breath before blowing it out her nose. How could she explain to a guy who was the apple of his parents’ eye that she just…wasn’t? Her family didn’t work the same way.
“There wasn’t a need to come home,” she told him. When he didn’t respond beyond furrowing his brow, she continued. “I was an adult. On my own.”
“You were eighteen years old, Regan. You weren’t an adult, no matter what we think when we’re that age.”
She smiled ruefully and decided to tell him the whole truth. “Becca got seriously sick right after I left and they had to focus on her. Their attention and money was completely wrapped up in getting her better. She needed them. It was easier for me to find my own way.”
A few heartbeats passed before he said anything.
“Easier for whom?” he asked. He hadn’t moved, but he was no longer as relaxed as he’d been. A sharpness she wasn’t sure what to do with.
It took a couple seconds for her to answer around the lump in her throat. “Easier for all of us.”
When he didn’t respond, she let it go. Her phone let out the obnoxious train whistle Becca had programmed as the ringtone and she finally spotted her purse on the counter behind him. Rolling her eyes, she moved in and reached around him to grab her purse, doing everything she could to keep a small space between them while desperately ignoring the part of her that was shouting at her to close that gap. Instead, she retreated across the kitchen, frowning as she glanced at her phone and saw who was calling.
Gavin’s silence was making her itch. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out, unable to stand it any longer. “I should have said good-bye before I left, at the very least.” When he still didn’t say anything, she sighed and offered him a small smile.
She felt better for having said it, even if he didn’t forgive her. She hadn’t realized how much that would mean to her. Shaking off the thought, she lifted her chin and forced a smile onto her face. “I’m going to head out. It was nice seeing you again.”
She was at the door when she heard him tell her to wait, but she didn’t stop. Damn it. Tears were stinging the back of her eyes and threatening to spill down her cheeks. But she wasn’t about to let him see them fall. She had her pride, after all.
There was no reason for her to be crying over Gavin McCabe. She’d given up crying over men when she left Todd, and she wasn’t about to start again now.
What had she expected? For him to sweep her off her feet when he found her babysitting his kids? Apologize for not coming after her? She’d never given him any indication that he meant anything to her, hadn’t answered his calls when he’d tried to reach her after she’d left for college. And he had called. A lot at first, but it had quickly died off when she didn’t respond.
Regan wiped her cheek with her sleeve as she opened the door and hurried out. “I’m a mess,” she muttered. The stiff breeze whipped her hair around her face and cut through her clothes like an icy knife. She’d forgotten how unyielding the wind could be when it came off the mountains and sliced through the valley and wished she’d remembered to grab a jacket when she’d raced out of the house that afternoon.
She looked over her shoulder and saw Gavin once again standing at his door, the same way he had when he’d seen his kids off. She couldn’t help but feel a little pang of something she didn’t want to think about as she made her way to her Mini.
Pulling the car door open, she tossed her purse in, only to watch it bounce from the passenger seat and dump half the contents onto the floor. Dropping her chin to her chest, Regan let out a watery laugh. She was more than a mess. She was mayhem. Unable to resist the urge, she turned to take one last look at Gavin.
Gavin must have seen her looking and lifted his arm in a wave. Such a simple thing to make her feel better, but it did. Slightly. It wasn’t his fault she was a basket case. She returned his wave, managing to flip her keys off her finger in the process.
Of course. Because God forbid she maintain any level of cool around him. This had to be karma’s way of getting back at her for running away without a word all those years ago. A delayed hit by the karma bus.
Bending to scoop up the errant keys, she heard something over the wind. An ominous creak that had her looking around. A loud crack followed. The ground shuddered around her and she fell onto her hands and knees, terror running down her spine. What the hell was going on? Dirt flew into her eyes thanks to the wind, and rocks bit into her flesh.
Montana didn’t get earthquakes, but her brain stuttered to come up with any other option. The world tilted and she lost all sense of direction, feeling like she was in the middle of a kaleidoscope. Colors, sounds, the grit of the road—everything swirled around her. Regan pulled herself into a ball, doing everything she could to shut out whatever was happening around her. From far away, she thought she heard Gavin bellow her name, but before she could lift her head to look, everything went black.
Chapter Four
Gavin frowned as a shrieking groan rent the air. The trees lining the street and the surrounding area were swaying violently. Before he could shout to Regan to get in her car and go, one tree seemed to let go of its hold on the side of the mountain.
Fear and horror punched him in the gut. The creaking of the swaying branches turned into a ringing shot as the tree broke free and surged to the ground.
His feet were moving, pounding across the pavement before the ground stopped shaking. Skidding to a stop on his knees, he barely noticed the denim of his jeans as well as a couple layers of skin being torn away as he hit the ground. His heart was thudding so hard he could taste the fear that coated his throat. Broken branches and glass from the shattered windows of her car were everywhere.
Pulling a couple of the smaller branches away from the wreckage, Gavin felt his breath rush out with a whoosh when he finally saw her. Somehow, the tree had avoided hitting her, but she was partially under her car. As gently as he could, he pulled her out from her makeshift shelter and turned her over so he could see her. A quick once-over showed a scrape slashed across her cheek, beading with blood, and a lump on her forehead that would turn a brilliant purple before too long.
The air was oddly still after such a violent surge of wind and the light was casting a bizarre orange glow, almost like there was a forest fire nearby. He looked around, but didn’t see any smoke or anything to indicate immediate danger.
Gavin’s heart was damn near pounding out of his chest and his hands were shaking as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey,” he said, gently prodding the back of her head to see if there were other injuries he couldn’t see. A huge sense of relief flooded him when her eyes opened and focused on him. Wide and terrified, they were the most gorgeous cognac color he’d ever seen.
Licking her lips, she managed to croak out a small “Hey” back at him before she brought her hand up to wipe at her bleeding nose. “What the heck just happened?”
“You nearly got taken out by the tree.”
“Tree?” She raised her head a bit to look around before slowly easing it back into the cradle of his hand. “Oh. That tree.”
“Yeah,” he said wryly. “That tree. It looks like your car took the brunt of it.”