by Carmen Cook
Connor frowned and scooped his own pile of snow and mud to create his own snowball. “I’m being serious. Andy’s getting older, so things are easier in that regard, but something’s up. She doesn’t seem happy.”
Gavin stopped. “You think Bethany’s unhappy? Like how unhappy? You guys have been together since forever.”
“I don’t know if she’s thinking about leaving, but there’s something going on. Something that’s not right. Maybe it’s just worry about Andy and everything going on around town,” he said, not sounding all that convinced.
“Okay, so Erin’s freaking out about something, Bethany’s freaking out about something, Gwen’s freaking out about Jason. Is that everything?”
“You forgot Regan,” Mitch reminded him.
They’d come to a stop in front of Connor’s truck and could see the women inside. They were all laughing as though they were sitting front row of a comedy show rather than parked in a vehicle drinking schnapps like they were still in high school.
“Nah,” Gavin said, going around so he could open the passenger side door. “I know what Regan’s freaking out about. Me.”
Regan was still pleasantly buzzed as Gavin maneuvered his truck back toward town. Her head was filled with the various problems and secrets her friends had told her about. Bethany pregnant again, after all these years. It had been the scandal in high school. People had blamed her for Connor giving up his football scholarship, choosing instead to go into the Army so he’d have a paycheck to support his new family.
It had been a short-lived scandal when it became obvious that Connor didn’t feel like he was sacrificing anything and truly loved his little family. So those same people who had been the loudest detractors had become their biggest supporters when Bethany had gone into business for herself and had started her bookkeeping firm.
Times hadn’t been easy, but things had paid off, with Connor becoming the youngest chief of police in town history and Bethany now having a successful business. Not to mention their adorable, well-rounded son, who was the picture of his father with his mother’s wit. To imagine they would now be starting over, at the same time Regan herself would be considering starting a family was…
Wait. She sat up and shook her head. Where had that thought come from? She wasn’t starting a family. Not even close. She glanced at Gavin, but he was oblivious, focused on the road in front of them.
“You okay over there? You’re awfully quiet.”
She jumped when his voice cut through the silence. Letting out a breath, she shook her head again. She’d told him she didn’t want anything serious, but here she was, imagining starting a family with him. Should she tell him what she was thinking? Was he still thinking this was just a fling? Her pulse started a rapid throb in her throat at the thought he’d walk away if she told him her feelings were deepening. “I’m fine,” she said, ignoring what he was really asking.
“Did you have fun tonight?” she asked, trying to distract him. Her train of thought was not a conversation she wanted to have. Not when that schnapps had made her comfortably numb.
Gavin’s smile spread across his face and she couldn’t help but smile in return. “The Snow Bowl‘s always fun. The guys are different now, and there are more people involved, but it’s still fun. Did you have a good time?”
“I did,” she admitted. “It was fun to catch up with my friends like that.”
“You’ve been able to catch up since you’ve been back, haven’t you?”
She shrugged and shifted in her seat. “A bit, like that night at the Bitterroot. But they’re all busy, and my parents and sisters are trying hard to bring me back into the fold.”
“And do you want to be in the fold again?”
She cut him a glance, only to find him looking at her with an intensity that made her think he knew the answer. “Watch the road,” she instructed, trying to ignore the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he knew her better than she wanted to admit.
“Well?” he prompted.
“Well, what?” she retorted, irritated that he was making her say it. Of course she wanted to be back in the fold with her family. She loved them. They were family.
Instead of responding to her surly tone, he reached over and took her hand in one of his. “It’s okay to not be super comfortable with it all yet.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she told him. But she did. And the fact that he could see right through her was another thing on the growing list of things she didn’t want to think about.
How could he possibly understand that her parents’ need to be involved in every part of her life made her feel like she was suffocating? She could remember all too well the desire for privacy when she was a teenager. Regan thought it wouldn’t be an issue when she returned home. Her parents were aware she was an adult and would respect that. So far, she’d managed to hold them at bay with a few family dinners, but she didn’t know what to think about the fact that they’d invited Todd and given him the key to her house. Since then, she’d been avoiding them completely.
Letting out a sigh, she relented. Maybe it would be easier to say it aloud to someone who wasn’t wading through the murkiness of the family dynamics. Her sisters understood, but there was nothing they could do about it. They were dealing with the same thing. “It’s not that I don’t want to be back in the middle of things,” she told him, trying to figure out how to say the rest without sounding ungrateful. Her parents had sacrificed a lot for their girls, staying in Montana rather than moving to a more exotic locale to continue their archeological studies in ancient civilizations, something they talked about often. The fact Becca was nearing graduation made the possibility they could finally do so something they were excited about. “The whole thing is just overwhelming sometimes.”
“How so?”
The lights from town came into view, twinkling along the valley like a blanket of stars that had settled in for the night. Regan leaned back against the headrest. She didn’t really want to think about this with the few minutes they had left before he dropped her off, but now that she’d broached the subject, she couldn’t stop. “They’re overwhelming. They shoehorn themselves into every part of my life and stretch into other areas that I thought were sacred.”
“Like inviting your ex-husband to town and handing over the key to your place.”
“Like that,” she admitted.
When she fell silent again, he squeezed her hand. “What else did you think was sacred, Regan?” He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her fingers. “What is it that you are fighting to protect from everyone else?”
Tears filled her eyes at his tender words, but she blinked them back. She didn’t want to show weakness. Not when it came to her family. Not in front of him. “There’s nothing in my life that’s sacred,” she told him instead of admitting that she feared what she’d lose if she tried to go there again. “That’s the problem.”
Chapter Thirteen
Gavin’s heart squeezed when Regan didn’t say anything further. He didn’t want to push her when it came to her parents. He knew how complicated family could be and remembered hearing how demanding hers were when they were younger. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he murmured, wondering how they’d landed on the topic of her parents in the first place.
She squeezed his hand in return, but didn’t open her eyes. He would have thought she’d fallen asleep if not for her breathing.
Making a quick decision, he turned toward the lake. He wasn’t ready to take her home, not to her grandparents’ little clapboard house with the air mattress on the floor. Not yet.
When he got to his destination, he put the truck in park and waited for Regan to stir, a smile tugging at his lips. He wanted her to laugh, to see her as carefree as she had been with her friends while watching the game. He wanted to be part of that.
It didn’t take long for Regan to open her eyes and stare at his house. “I thought you were taking me home.”
> “Do you want to go home?” He shook his head at her silence. “I’ll take you home if you want. I just thought we’d be more comfortable here. I want to spend more time with you, Regan. Just you.”
“I thought that’s what we were going to do when you woke me up in the middle of the night, but then you dragged me out to watch a football game in the mud and the snow.” She popped her door open and climbed out. Decision made.
“It’s tradition,” he told her, grabbing her hand and steering them through the garage into the darkened house, bypassing all the common areas. The air was still cold since he’d had the heat turned down while he was gone, so he paused in the hallway to adjust the thermostat. Even though she’d been to his house before, this felt different. More intimate and right somehow. And he wanted more than this casual relationship they’d fallen into.
Even more, he wanted her to feel the same things he was feeling. He wasn’t exaggerating when he told Mitchell that Regan was freaking out about him. She’d had her life blown up by the one man she trusted. She didn’t want the same thing to happen again. While he understood that, he was no longer willing to sit back and wait for her to come to the same conclusion. This thing between them was too strong, too hot to ignore. Too much to simply hold back and let play out on its own. It was time he took charge.
He wasn’t sure when he’d come to this decision. It didn’t matter. They were here now and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass.
Once they reached his bedroom, he paused to look at her, taking in her flushed cheeks and rapid breathing. “Are you okay?” he asked, tilting his head. “With this?”
The corner of her mouth lifted and she gripped his hand a little tighter. “I am so okay with this,” she told him before she pulled him closer and reached up to capture his mouth with hers. After a few seconds she wrenched her mouth away and took a deep breath. “It’s my turn to play.”
He pulled her flush against his chest and walked them backward into the room. Her hands were everywhere, pushing his jacket from his shoulders and tugging his shirt up so she could touch his skin, sending him into a frenzy of his own. Gavin reached over his head to rip his shirts off so she could reach him without the wet cloth in the way. His skin was cold, her touch hot, and he couldn’t get enough.
Regan gave him a shove that had him falling back onto the bed. He obliged by scooting backward and propping his head up in his hands. She was taking charge and he watched, lust overtaking him, as she started stripping.
Her jacket hit the floor next to his. Then the thermal shirt he’d insisted she wear, followed by the long underwear. Regan caught his eye and laughed as she stood in just the thin tank top she’d been sleeping in when he arrived at her house earlier that night. How had he forgotten that she wasn’t wearing a bra? How had he not noticed that when he woke her up? “This isn’t much of a striptease,” she told him. “We’ll have to try it again when I’m not wearing so many layers.”
His mouth went dry as she bent to untie her boots, the tank top gaping and giving him an unobstructed view of her breasts. “I’m completely onboard with that plan,” he said thickly, watching her hop on one foot to tug the boot off. Have mercy, he might not make it through tonight if he was this turned on without her making any effort at all. He’d never survive a real striptease. His jeans were tight, getting tighter by the second.
Once she’d finally wrestled herself free of her footwear she straightened, eyes going straight to the bulge straining his wet denim. “That can’t be comfortable,” she whispered.
“No,” he whispered back, afraid to voice what he wanted her to do. Afraid she wouldn’t fulfill the promise he could see lurking in those eyes.
Regan sucked her bottom lip back between her teeth, just a bit. Enough to make his balls tighten even more before she responded with a full smile. “I think I should help with that.”
Gavin watched while she quickly removed his boots and slowly began to crawl up his body. The heat from her skin sizzled against his, causing an interesting hot/cold, push/pull coil in his gut. It took everything in him to just lay back and let her take her time, nibbling here, licking there. He was going to go up in smoke if she didn’t hurry up.
She found the tattoo on his side and settled in to explore it with her tongue, sending shock waves rippling through him. Every nerve was standing at attention begging for her touch, anticipating where she’d kiss him next. He’d never been so aroused, even when he was a teenager. This, with Regan, couldn’t be described so he stopped trying and simply closed his eyes to heighten the anticipation even more.
When he felt her shift, he cracked his eyes open. She was enjoying the control he was giving her, that was apparent by the twinkle in her eye and the smug smile on her face. Little did she know he’d happily hand her the reins any time she asked, and they weren’t even to the main event yet.
“You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?” she asked, her voice thick with desire, causing his cock to jerk. Damn, he was going to lose it before he ever got inside her if that was just the reaction to her voice.
“Never,” he assured her. “I’m just enjoying the ride.”
Regan laughed, a warm puff of breath stoking his chest just before her tongue wrapped around his nipple. Holy fuck. His toes curled and his hips lifted despite his attempt to let her continue at her own pace.
She was torturing him in the sweetest way possible. There was no other way to describe what she was doing to him.
He felt her hand caress his chest while her teeth gently nipped at him. Then her fingers pinched the other nipple while she applied suction to the first. Sweat beaded along his brow as he fought to remain still. Gavin gritted his teeth and let out a shuddering breath. Forget torture, she was going to kill him. Flat-out dead.
The next thing he knew, she was right there, straddling him. His jeans were unbuttoned, but still on. She was still wearing her panties, but she was settling in, right where he wanted her. Almost before that thought completely registered she leaned over him, her mouth hovering right above his.
“Thank you,” she whispered, the words light against his lips.
His eyes searched hers, looking for a clue of what she meant. You’re welcome just didn’t seem like the appropriate response after what she’d just done to him. He should be thanking her. Wanted to thank her.
But before he could respond, she leaned forward to capture his mouth again and the only thing he could do was reach up and bring her to him.
Regan felt Gavin’s hand skim up her jaw before his fingers plunged into her hair. She was a heartbeat away from him, every part of him. And despite everything she had done before, this felt completely new. She and Gavin had had sex before, but that had been fast and hot. Consuming. This was something different. Something stronger.
She let him guide her to his mouth and despite their positions, there was no doubt that he was now in complete control of this kiss. He’d allowed her time to play, to get used to him, but that time was over and he was about to consume her as only he could.
The kiss deepened, his tongue clashing with hers as his other hand came up to frame her face, holding her exactly where he wanted her. Not that she minded. Gavin was a master of making her feel cherished. Loved.
The thought made her pause. She’d done love before—or thought she had. Was she prepared to do that again? To give herself over to another person and trust that they would cherish her heart in the way she cherished his?
Much to her surprise, yes. A resounding yes screamed in her brain as Gavin rolled her over and took charge, lowering himself so he was spreading kisses along her jaw and over her collarbone. She pressed open-mouthed kisses along his neck as well. He finally stripped her of her tank, his hands instantly replacing the material, covering her as completely as the cotton had.
Goose bumps spread over her as he continued his exploration, drawing his fingertips over her in a pattern clearly meant to seduce.
“Gavin,” she gasped when he gently s
troked over her hipbone, heading even lower.
“Hmm?” He was clearly more interested in gripping the edge of her panties and tugging them down than he was in anything she had to say, but Regan wasn’t going to give up. Not for something so important.
“Gavin,” she started again, pausing to catch her breath when she felt his tongue stroke oh so close to where she wanted his touch. “I should tell you something.”
“Later.”
Reaching down she gripped his hair this time, determined to make him hear her. “Now.”
She didn’t think he was going to respond at first since he was exploring the small hummingbird tattoo he’d just uncovered on her hip, just as thoroughly as she’d explored the markings she’d uncovered on his skin. Payback was a bitch, she thought helplessly, drowning in the stroking and kissing, the echo of each movement resonating through her entire body.
Finally she wrapped her legs around him and gave him a tug, which sent him sprawling over her. She couldn’t help but laugh at the astounded look on his face when he reared up to look at her. “I was trying to talk to you.”
“I was busy,” he responded, laughing with her now.
“This thing,” she started before he could distract her again, “between us. It can be scary.”
His expression changed as he settled against her. “Yes,” he started slowly, drawing out the word as though he was trying to figure out what he was going to say next. He dragged his fingertips over her shoulder, along her collarbone and down her chest. “Everything about us is hot and fast. Instantaneous. Combustible. That’s not a bad thing, Regan.”
“No, it’s not,” she admitted, her senses still screaming to let him continue building her up toward the pleasure that had been a sure thing as he was stroking her. “But it’s still frightening.”
Gavin’s smile was gentle as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Would it be easier if it wasn’t so intense? Happening slower?”