The contents of the jar squeaked, “Thanks. Sorry to run, but you know how it is.”
I did know how it is. Enough that I experienced only mild surprise as hands and feet, squishy and tentacular and barely recognizable, wriggled out of the mass in the jar. Rocking, it turned the jar over, and scampered away into the night.
Good deed complete. Time to return to villainy!
In fact, time to make an entrance. Taking a step to activate the bracers, I teleported across the hall in front of the mad science vending tables.
Yeah, it was too far and my arm hurt, but so worth it when everybody stopped chatting and sat up with a jerk.
Red Eye pumped her fist. “Yes! I told you she’d show up this weekend.”
“It’s going to be great having a permanent Bad Penny,” said the big guy with the beard. Mechanical Aesthetic?
I held up a warning finger. “Only until I get my body back.”
“Of course,” said the silver-haired Expert, who stood between the tables and never seemed to have one of his own.
A guy in spandex and wire harnessing leaned over his table of wire harnesses and little computer chips. “Is it true the original you has your super power?”
Giving him a hard look, I said, “I am the original. The thing that stole my body stole my super power in the process, yes.”
Supervillains were terrible at hiding their smirks, and I smoldered with irritation at the obvious lack of anyone believing me here. Not that I’d expected them to, but criminy!
Mechanical Aesthetic looked at his comrades, and frowned. “Point of order. She is technically no longer one of us. Should Bad Penny be allowed to wear mad scientist goggles?”
Red Eye scowled. “We don’t take them away from a mad scientist who loses their powers.”
The woman behind her, with a table piled high with helmets, said, “She never actually had powers. Only the biological Penny does, and she’s gone straight.”
A middle-aged guy with a table labeled ‘Custom Booby Traps’ flashed her a sardonic grin. “She’ll be back when she turns eighteen. Trust me.”
The Expert stepped forward, and gave me a brief, stiff bow. “Forgive your colleagues for upsetting you, Bad Penny. You know how obsessed we get with details. Regardless of our banter, you remain our colleague and welcome in our fold.”
“You just want to irritate Brian—” Helmet Inventress started, only to have Red Eye lean back and cuff her over the head.
The Expert rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyes tightly shut with exasperation.
Pretending my feelings weren’t actually hurt, I said, “I don’t have a pair at the moment, anyway.”
“We’ll bring you a spare,” promised Mechanical Aesthetic, despite being the one to bring this up in the first place. He even flashed me a sincere-looking grin.
For better or for worse, these were, indeed, my people.
Before they could go off on any more tangents, I asked, “Has anyone seen Lab Rat?”
“He’ll be in. He always is. What’s up?” said Red Eye, still glaring at the woman behind her.
“I need a new lair.”
Booby Trapulator (Yes, I totally made that name up), nodded. “Good person to ask.”
Expert dipped his head. “Check back later.”
I sighed, and turned away. “Yeah, I do have other errands while I’m here.”
Lowering his voice, the Expert told my back, “Do not go see Spider.”
The last thing I heard, as I drifted into the crowd, was Red Eye’s scolding voice. “What is wrong with you guys? Yes, she’s a great villain, but she’s still thirteen!”
Le sigh.
After that erratic reception, loneliness crept up on me fast. Chinatown just wasn’t as fun without Claire and Ray. Even if they believed me, they were at camp.
Maybe that’s what this was. Supervillain camp. A month of chaos, sleeping in a different bed, and then going home is all the sweeter.
What’s the first rule of not dying of homesickness at summer camp? Make friends your own age. That meshed perfectly with my plans, anyway.
So. Who would be around?
I struck immediate gold. Fast movement caught my eye, a teenage boy running faster than any normal human could, weaving around adults on the way to the buffet table.
I teleported in front of him. Step. Blink. Whack! He ran right into me! As I tumbled through the air, shoulder aching in a downright worrisome way, I reflected on my own foolishness. Will had only super speed, not super reflexes!
Fortunately, he did have that speed, and caught me on my way down. Gratefulness quickly turned to awkwardness at being held in the arms of a boy not my boyfriend, and I quickly squirmed back to my feet.
“Woah, sorry, Penny! Why are you so—oh, wait, sorry again. You’re Robot Penny, not Meatbag Penny!”
My teeth clenched, but I would explain it to him later. Right now, he was an invaluable source of information. “Have you seen Cassie or Mirabelle around?”
Looking nervous now, he pointed to the far end of the building. “Not Cassie. I tried to ask Mirabelle if she wanted to come to my place and play video games, but her brother’s around. I mean, she doesn’t come here without him, but he’s sticking close to her tonight.”
Heading in the indicated direction, I waved behind me. “I’m not trying to get his sister alone for hanky-panky, so I should be fine.”
No response followed me into the darkness. Okay, into the well-lit main hall occupied by chatting supervillains. But no response followed me into the metaphorical darkness, so Penelope Akk scored herself a point for banter, and payback for the Robot Penny mistake.
On the other end of the building, in the last darkened, emptied store, a girl sat in a chair reading a book. I identified Mirabelle by her sheer lack of visibility. She wore an ankle-length dress, gloves, and a hat with a brim so wide it completely hid her face when she looked down. The only person more covered up in this building was the odd creature named Schleimy, wearing its multiple layers of clothes and selling dubious magical items a doorway down.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, Mirabelle looked up. She’d been a classmate for months, and I still had trouble making out the details of her face. Made of pure glass, her transparency obscured the details. Other people with better eyesight assured me she was stunningly pretty, and looked human except for the cat ears and tail.
She also glowed faintly, which explained how she could read a book in a dark room.
Even I could make out her gentle smile, which went with her soft, happy voice. “Penelope? What a nice surprise.”
“Thanks,” I said, only to have awkward guilt hit me. I’d only come to her for help, not out of friendship. Some of things Remmy and Heart of Gold said to me hit home, there.
But, I did need her help. Critically. So I tugged one of my braids and went on. “Could I get you to do some healing for me?”
She was so nice, maybe because she lived a life intimately familiar with pain and fragility. She reacted to the request by pulling off her gloves and saying, “If it’s within my power, always. I heard a story that you were hurt fighting yourself, but I’d hoped it was only a story.”
The one thing I absolutely refused to do was drag Mirabelle into my battles. Yes, I needed allies desperately, but even a little adventure would literally, physically break her. That she could put herself back together provided cold comfort. Barbara, whose powers ate away her sanity, was also off the list. Sad, because of all people, she might be able to tell that I was the real Penelope Akk.
So, instead I undid the temporary clasps West Lee had used to attach my sleeves to my shirt and lab coat. The armored fabric slid down, giving Mirabelle a good look at my scarred robotic arm.
She gasped, hands over her mouth as if she didn’t get hurt this badly on an almost daily basis.
…okay, wow, Penny. Seriously guilting yourself here, huh? Let the girl be kind!
Ahem. Reaching out for me, she said, “That’s even worse than I heard. L
et me look closer, please.”
I sat down next to her chair, and laid my arm over her lap. Glass hands slid over my ceramic (or maybe plastic?) skin. That thought felt as strange as the softness of her see-through fingers. We were both inorganic right now. Maybe, when all this was over, I should spend more time with Mirabelle.
For now, her glowing hands spread warmth through me, deep into bones and muscles I only felt like I had. She smiled again, now reassuring. “You’re in luck. Whoever set this did it well, and my power works best with breaks.”
I fought down a whimper, which proved harder than expected because I couldn’t bite my lip. Like my shrugless shoulders, my jaw didn’t move as well as it ought.
My grumpiness over that melted away. Mirabelle’s healing touch felt so good, like the best massage, and it reached past my arm and into the cracks in my chest. Prickly pleasure inside my arm told me the weird fabric that lined the shell was even sewing back together.
It took me completely by surprise when a man snarled, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Mirabelle answered before I could recover from the total relaxation. “She’s hurt, Entropy.”
At this point, I looked up, to see the expected black-furred cat man in a well-tailored suit baring his pointed teeth. “That robot is neck deep in a war with the Akk family. I will not let you get involved.”
I opened my mouth, but Mirabelle pressed her fingers to it. She met Entropy’s yellow-eyed gaze solidly, a sharp contrast from her usually shy, down-turned face. “This is my friend, and my decision.”
His scowl just got wider and more animal, but Mirabelle kept her hand over my mouth, and Entropy did not actually do anything. She used the time to pull my sleeves back into place, and they raveled perfectly into the costume as if the bomb had never gone off.
As awkward as this was, one final issue weighed on me, even harder because of Mirabelle’s kindness. Digging into my pouches, I pulled out a ten pound lump of gold, and dropped it into the crystal cat girl’s lap. “Can you heal this?”
“Get. Out. Of. Here,” snarled Entropy.
Mirabelle glared at him as if he’d, well, just threatened a friend. “Shush,” she said, and then turned her attention to the Heart of Gold. Picking it up, she turned the small, heavy device over and over in her hands. They glowed brighter, and brighter still. Half a dozen clinks sounded, with no particular rhythm, and two of them accompanied visible dents popping back into place.
Still, when she handed it back to me, it remained visibly battered. “I’m sorry, Penelope. My power isn’t perfect. It handles fractures well, but deformations are more complicated. Whoever’s in there, she’s alive and sleeping, but this is the best I can do.”
One more thing to blame on the parasite. One more reason to wage this war.
Maybe Mirabelle could see my anger in my face. She clasped my cheeks in her hands, leaned down, and kissed my forehead. The outer of her body did feel as warm and pliable as skin, even if the texture was a little too slick. Pulling me up, she said, “Go, please. I need to be left alone with my brother, while we talk about how I get to have friends.”
Entropy’s fists tightened until his rings squeaked against each other. I got out, fast, ducking outside into the warm, summer nighttime air.
Only to get ambushed, grabbed from behind and yanked off my feet with Cassie’s arms around my chest, and her squeal against the back of my head. “Pennyyyyy! Oh wow, you’re so light! I love this robot body.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather be human,” I wheezed.
She swung me from side to side, dropped me on my feet, and twisted me around to face her with her hands on my shoulders. Her smile lit her face, and her eyes literally glowed with electricity. “Oh, I heard. Flesh-and-blood. You called me Tuesday evening and said you went completely insane and think you’re the original and now you’re determined to steal her body.”
Well, criminy. “Ah.” Seriously, what could I say to that?
Cassie didn’t need me to say anything. I’d forgotten how she could gush and fangirl over me. She must have been really trying to keep it down until now! “I don’t know if I believe her. About the insane part. Obviously you want her body. Who wouldn’t? But I watched the robot you when we were in Chinatown, and I can’t believe she would go that kind of crazy.”
Hope returned so fast my heart hurt. “You believe I’m the real Penny?”
Her hair crackled, turning bluer by the second. She pulled me into a tight hug, cheek to cheek. “I don’t know. As your friend, the right thing to do is to figure out which of you is real, and stand with her to stop the other. I’m just so happy to have two of you, I can’t think straight.”
No way I’d imagined this conversation covered the real thing. I actually felt guilty saying, “I need allies, Cassie, and I can’t rely on adults.”
She pulled back, shaking her head rapidly. “Oh, no way. Supervillains and heroes all have their own agendas. I have so many stories to tell you! Claire the Corrupt Cutie says your parents kept you super sheltered.”
Technically, I should be mad, but gossiping about me and believing everyone was naive compared to her were the two most Claire Lutra things imaginable. If she’d said it, she meant it as praise.
Don’t let Cassie’s babble distract you, Penny! I pushed on. “If there’s anything I can do to convince you, let me know.”
“I will, I promise. Just right now let me enjoy it. Oh! Oh oh oh! You haven’t seen!” In jeans and a T-shirt, Cassie didn’t have many pocket options, but she still searched them in a desperate scramble until she pulled out a large, but otherwise average-looking bolt. Quivering with emotion, she said, “I have a second power.”
With the bolt in one palm, she held her other hand above it. Slowly, wobbling all the while, the bolt floated up between them.
That made me straighten up and gawk. “Woah. Why do you get two powers?”
She rolled her eyes and made a pfft noise. “It’s not like it’s rare. Her Sullen Unstoppability Claudia has, like, fifteen powers. But I bet…” Reaching out, she held the hand not holding a bolt in front of my face, then moved it slowly down.
I responded by saying, “Aak! Eek! Stop that!” and dancing back out of range. What a sensation. Where her hand passed, it felt like being tickled from the inside!
My dismay only made Cassie pump her fist in glee. “Yes! So cool!”
At which point Cassie’s sister Ruth stepped out of the mall, one fist full of beef jerky. A whole sheaf of beef jerky. Five pounds, easy. I had never seen so much in one place in my life. “What are you crowing—oh, no, you are not.”
Grinning fit to burst, Cassie slung an arm around my shoulders, crowing, “Look who I found!”
Ruth did not grin. In her work clothes of ripped black leather, greased purple hair, and dark makeup, she glared like the end of the world. Grabbing Cassie with one hand, she hauled her little sister into the air and onto her shoulder. “I know who it is, and you’re not supposed to be talking to her.”
Cassie started to kick, but with Ruth’s silver-tattooed arm around her waist, my blue-haired electric fangirl wasn’t going anywhere. “What? No! She’s my friend!”
Not bothering to talk to me, Ruth turned and walked down the street. “She’s a deluded copy of your friend. I am not letting you get involved in their war. It is not going to happen.”
Cassie kicked harder, flailing ineffectually in her sister’s super-strong grip. “Ruth, come on! Don’t you see what this means to me? She’s unattached! This Penny could be mine!”
“If you shock me, so help me, I will use my claws. This is non-negotiable, Cassie.”
“Come ooooooon!”
And that was the last I heard. Standing there, I didn’t know what to think. I’d always liked Ruth and Rachel. Yes, they had a rough side, but they’d been so nice to me, until now. As for Cassie, would she be back? Would she be on my side? Could I deal with the guilt of pitting her against her own sister?
Finding all
ies was going to be trickier than I thought, and I’d thought it would be tricky. Criminy.
Also, did Cassie just say that she had a romantic interest in robot me?
Penelope, do yourself a favor. File that one in the ‘Questions I don’t want answered’ category.
Well. If I stood here, I would get discouraged, fast. What next? Lucyfar would certainly believe me, if I found her, but was down around my last choice for exactly the reason Cassie named. Nobody had more ulterior motives than the unpredictable Princess of Lies.
However! Through the milling supervillains, I saw a skinny, hunched figure creeping up on the mad scientist tables.
Glorying in my ability to do it, I teleported right up in front of them again. “Lab Rat!”
He screeched, tossing a large cardboard box in the air. The mad scientists responded in a flurry of motion. Red Eye pulled out a gun that fired a red beam, which formed a red globe of light around the box. Mechanical Aesthetic’s arm shot out, extending ten feet of copper stovepipe to catch the box in his hand. The guy with the wire structures threw one at the box, and the wires wrapped around it and glittered. An extra ripple in the air hinted someone else had activated still another device, but I couldn’t tell who.
As awesome as my teleport bracers were, I so needed more toys.
The red glow and air ripple disappeared. Mechanical Aesthetic lowered the box into Lab Rat’s waiting arms.
Said Lab Rat did not hold a grudge. He beamed at me with delight, stroking his box and babbling, “Bad Penny! So tasty to meet. Robot, yes? Will be Bad Penny forever, they say, and looking for me personally? Tasty, tasty honor.”
It wasn’t worth correcting him about my identity. Bracing my hands on Red Eye’s table, I gave him my ‘serious supervillain’ expression. “I need a new lair, and you’re the man who knows them all.”
Dropping his box on an empty table, he bobbed his head. “It’s true. So true. Vermin tell me many things. So many tasty things. Hidden places, forgotten places. But what will you pay?”
“I have money. Do evil vendors take credit cards?”
Red Eye shook her head, smirking. “He doesn’t need money.”
You Believe Her Page 6