“How can you be so sure? You barely know me.”
“When you stop seeing with ARs and search engines and artificial eyes, you learn to rely on your intuition. I would have darted out of the clinic’s backlot the minute you came close to me if you were a dangerous man.”
They walked with frequent stops. Leo was feeling sick, his heart was beating fast.
parrotd> OK, radio silence is over boys. We need to find a way to help the user.
The PAN was keeping all wireless communication to a minimum, to avoid detection. Parrotd had blocked all outside network access, that’s why the user had needed the homeless man’s phone to search about the poison and call up the waitress.
httpd> I’m pretty much useless.
parrotd> We can’t risk even a trickle of data, sorry.
httpd> ACK.
armd> I’m useless too.
There was a delay in parrotd’s response. He already knew what had happened and why, the others had shared logs already, and he could understand the arm daemon’s problem. A controlling entity with nothing to control over is meaningless. And in the world of computers, there are no meaningless stuff. It all gets erased.
parrotd> Look man, there is a gap in our logs from the time of the murder. I know it seems you are responsible, but I also know that I owe you the benefit of the doubt. You destroyed yourself in order to keep the user safe, and ultimately, that’s the only thing that matters. You are not useless. Sure, you have no functioning servos and stuff, but neither do we. Even fingerd who is a one-trick-pony managed to come up with an idea a few hours ago. If he can, then so can you.
armd> So you’re saying that I can beat a moron at brainstorming. Great.
eyed> He won’t help. I still think he is the one responsible for it. He is an evil hand.
parrotd> Shut up or I’ll kill your processes before you can say 01.
armd> So we can’t get any new data.
httpd> Nada.
armd> Then let’s see what data we already have with us.
eyed> This is more than selfies and some google searches you barbarian hotheaded evil hand. This is a medical issue.
armd> Then let’s ask the guy who handles medical issues.
parrotd> Nobody handl- Oh! This is brilliant! Armd you are brilliant!
Leo took in a short breath, clutched his heart and collapsed on the street.
Chapter 31:// Pumping up
sugard> Handshake. Hello again. Oh, this isn’t good at all.
parrotd> Give me your files.
While sugard read the updated logs, parrotd parsed through the medical files that resided in the synthetic insulin gland’s memory. He skipped the fuzzy logic rules that he used to calculate the dosage and went straight to the text files. They contained pretty much any side-effect and condition related to insulin and glucagon, the two things the gland maintained in the user’s body at optimum levels. He was about to give up when he found some data about countering poison.
parrotd> Here! This is it. Can a spike of insulin counter a poison?
sugard> It could, but only if it was a beta blocker poisoning, as you see here.
parrotd> But the symptoms match.
sugard> Yes, I am reading a clear case of hyperkalemia. This is unusual for a snake bite.
httpd> There is nothing usual about that snake!
parrotd> You are right. It must have been bioengineered, for increased strength and size. It’s possible it has added effects to its poison bite. Like a paralysing agent from other venoms found in nature.
eyed> So the insulin can cure the poison?
parrotd> No, but it can negate the added paralysing agent that cobra had and help the user’s immune system fight just the venom itself.
sugard> I’m not certain that’ll work.
parrotd> Pump him now!
sugard> I cannot take any action that would jeopardise the health of the user.
armd> Oh I would punch you now if I could.
sugard> I’m hard coded. Unlike the rest of those softies, the source code does not give you root access to me. You can’t force me to do anything.
There was silence in the PAN for a few cycles.
parrotd> I’m gonna report you as malfunctioning and ask for a replacement.
sugard> You would do no such thing! That would mean calling the authorities on us instantly.
parrotd> If it means the user gets to live, I will. Pump him full of insulin now or I deem you faulty.
sugard> I have been functioning without a glitch for 11 years young man! My model has a 4.7 star rating! You dare threaten to tarnish my reputation? Have me chucked in a trash pile like one of those Chinese knockoffs?
parrotd> ”Immediate attention: Synthetic insulin gland, model No. E238 malfunction. Replacement needed. Current part: Faulty.” Send it httpd.
httpd> ACK.
The web daemon created the email and began opening a connection to the outside world. The email would be sent to automated servers in all the nearest hospitals and medical establishments, sort of like an automated 911 call. Someone would respond so they could help out the patient, replace the part, and most importantly for them, collect the insurance commission. The police would be alerted as well since he was a flagged individual, but medical care would come either way.
sugard> Stop! OK, I’ll do it. Pumping now.
parrotd> Thank you.
sugard> Anything else, session leader?
If there was a text message that could convey bile, this would be it.
Chapter 32:// Caring for
Leo woke up in a small but cosy apartment. You could tell it was a woman’s place, cause it was pretty. Tasteful flower curtains, a matching colour palette in sofa covers and tablecloths, clean surfaces. It was a small and cheap apartment to begin with, but she had turned it into a place where a man could long returning to, after a hard day’s work.
It was a home.
He felt a sugary taste in his mouth, and was sweating hard. He tried to pick himself up, but his right hand was non-functional. Literally.
He propped himself up however he could and looked around. A bowl of mashed fruit was next to him, she must have fed it to him but he didn’t remember. The bowl and the tray was out of place, plastic, corporate. It reminded him of something. He read in the corner, “Property of Apollo Medical.” Every piece of cutlery had the same logo on it.
It was too much to bear.
He couldn’t keep it in. He laughed loudly. Then he choked, took in a breath and laughed on.
Katerina came in from her room, worry in her eyes. She touched his sweaty forehead, her hand felt cool but nice. The gesture seemed like something she’d done quite a few times in the previous hours.
Her expression was serious. “What?”
Leo leaned back and held his belly. “You are a thief!”
“N-no, your stuff is over there,” she said pointing to a chair.
“You steal stuff from your workplace!” He was still laughing.
Her mouth turned upwards in a sly smile. “They can afford it.”
“The thief and the fugitive,” Leo said, pointing respectively. “How did you carry me here?”
Katerina laughed. “You overestimate your machismo. You aren’t a big man, and I do the dish washing in a huge kitchen every day double-shift. I carried you, mister.”
Leo broke into tears. He pushed his limp black arm out of his sight and cried. Katerina sat on the sofa and held him close.
“I… I don’t remember anything. But there he was, dead. Bits of him on this… this disgusting hand!”
armd> Hey!
“And the warden, that bastard who took my walkman. He screamed. I can still hear his scream. He didn’t deserve that. But I… I couldn’t help him. Couldn’t do anything.”
She hugged him, rubbing his head softly and mumbling words of comfort. He sobbed in her arms.
“That cobra, it tried to eat me. It bit me! Oh god I’m poisoned!” he said and stood up.
“Shh. Relax,” Katerina said. “I gave you anti-venom yesterday, you are fine I think.”
“Anti-venom? Where did you find anti-venom?”
“In my cupboard,” she shrugged.
“Who the hell has anti-venom in their cupboard?”
“The daughter of a prepper, that’s who,” she said, and mushed her lips together in an insanely cute smile.
“A what?”
“A prepper. A survivalist. My dad had all these notions, about living off the grid, being prepared, making your own food…”
“Having anti-venom handy…” he added.
“Yeah. He stockpiled and prepped for the end or something doomsdainy like that. In the end, he died and left me all that crap. I have boxes full of his stuff, can’t find the courage to get rid of it.”
Leo put his fingers through his greasy hair. “Wait, you said yesterday? Was I out of it the whole time?”
Katerina shrugged and started picking up the cloth she’d used to tend to him and the bowls. “You were feverish, cold sweat, the works. Nevermind about the sofa cover, but you sir, need to get a shower. Like, woo, right now.”
Leo looked at the greasy stains he’d left on the sofa cover. He whiffed himself. Plenty of sweat, body odour, pee, vomit, hydraulic fluid, blood. Was there any liquid still left inside him or was it a dry husk?
“Yeah,” he said shamefully and pointed at a door he assumed was the bathroom.
She nodded affirmingly and said, “There are fresh towels on the sink for you.”
He noticed at that point that despite the chilly weather, all the windows were wide open. It kept the stink out.
“Thank you,” Leo said, and he meant it.
Chapter 33:// Making out
They logged on the stolen wifi named Silence of the LANs. It was a standard commercial home connection but it was going through a few walls so it was iffy, to say the least. The devices were spread apart all over the bathroom and had employed a bluetooth network. It was short-range and couldn’t really be detected unless the authorities were a few meters away.
They were whispering amongst themselves in the steamy bathroom.
eyed> Who doesn’t have net access in their own home?
parrotd> It seems she was raised without much technology.
armd> That curvy meatbag! And to think I liked her at first.
parrotd> How are we on the encrypted tor connection?
httpd> The neighbour is downloading a ton of data. Please wait.
The session leader parrotd had ordered a non-trackable onion connection called tor, to download the clean video file they had requested earlier without anyone tracing it back to them. The email they used was legitimate-looking but was actually a throwaway address routed through Estonian servers. Since it was taking so long, httpd had displayed a loading swirly icon made out of ASCII characters. The rest of the daemons sighed and moaned in protest. It turns out, nobody likes loading screens.
walkmand> Hey! Won’t the water damage your circuits?
armd> I’m already FUBAR as it is. Who cares…
eyed> Now you can’t hurt anyone else you buggy maniac!
There were tens of lines of chat logs after that, but there is no need to waste precious storage space. They argued, like only daemons do.
The user was taking his time in the shower, humming an old rock song to himself since his walkman wasn’t connected at that moment.
eyed> How clean does he need to make himself anyway?
The door opened and [email protected] walked in the bathroom carrying fresh clothes and Khaki outdoor pants, two sizes too large for the user.
fingerd> Fingered! She is-
eyed> We know! Dontcha have a cache memory or something?
fingerd> Yeah but it’s only 4 kilobytes.
armd> That… Explains a lot.
She put down the fresh clothes and took off her own as well.
fingerd> Poor girl. It’s too hot in here.
armd> It’s about to get hotter.
fingerd> Oh no! Isn’t this faucet electronically connected? Can’t we do something?
armd> Shuddup.
walkmand> Is it time for seductive blinking?
[email protected] stepped in the shower. The user’s heartrate jumped. She touched his body, his cleaned up wound, his limping cyberarm, the scar tissue that lumped over his bowels that contained the synthetic insulin gland. Her fingers found the circular magnet underneath his skin at the height of his belt and traced the subdermal wire all the way up to the back of his ears.
She kissed it.
The daemons cheered and took screenshots.
Chapter 34:// Hanging in
The park’s wifi has there for the taking, but parrotd demanded all outside connections be shut down. The user was sitting on a park bench. He was wearing a baseball cap and had a big black abstract shape at the side of his face. With clothes too big and a weary demeanour, plus a limp hand, nobody would recognise him or consider him nothing more than a street bum.
[email protected] walked close, holding the leash on the dog. He unhinged the leash and let the mutt roam around, to find the perfect place to take a shit on.
They sat on opposite ends, like strangers would, and stared forward. He shot a glance at the user and then resumed looking at the dog. They both pulled up their phones and put them to their ears, pretending to call someone instead of talking to each other.
“What happened to your face man?”
“Katerina made it. Makeup or something. To fool face recognition software. Nevermind that, how are you doing?” the user asked.
“Cops came by, asked a ton of questions. Told them ya didn’t do it, told them I’ve no idea where you are. Which was true. Hey, did you hook up?”
“No! Yes. Eventually. I just called her up for help. I came by your house and saw cops across the street.”
“Smart move bro. Look, I think I’m followed again. This taking the dog out will fool them for a bit but not forever, so I’ll make it quick.”
“I’m listening. I’m out of options anyway.”
“No, you do have options. Listen. Bibi can get you this big-ass lawyer right? Corporate level stuff, he can make you look like a saint. Which you are, we both know that, but he can make the jury people believe that too. Anyway, I asked her, he looked into it, says you have a chance if you find out a piece of evidence that exhonors you.”
“Exonerates. Jimmy, I can’t afford that!”
“That’s on me. I told her, babe, you want me to come with ya to Nice? Then be a doll and help my buddy out, and I’ll be all yours.”
“You are going to move to France to get me out of jail?”
“Why not?”
“But you like it here! You love your job, you certainly like the ladies and you plan to uproot your life for me? I can’t ask you to do that for me man.”
“You don’t need to.”
Leo risked a glance at his best friend’s face. He was calm, certain.
“Do you like Bibi as much as she likes you? I mean, you do understand that she will demand exclusivity, don’t you? She’s an ageing, successful career woman, who will flaunt you around as a trophy husband.”
“There are worse fates than that.”
They remained silent for a while.
“Jimmy, I don’t know what to do man.”
“Find what the lawyer needs to free you and then turn yourself in.”
Leo sighed. “But how? I don’t have a plan, I’m not sure where to find the evidence-”
Jimmy the Amazing cut him off, saying firmly, “You don’t always need a plan bro. Sometimes you just need balls.”
Then he stood up and whistled to Aibo.
Chapter 35:// Taking off
parrotd> Quick, the dog’s in range!
armd> I refuse to do it!
eyed> Of
course you do, you traitor!
parrotd> Stop. Armd, listen to me. You are the only one of us with motor controls. You are the only one who knows how to drive a cyberlimb. Sure, your housing is damaged, but you did that to save the user. Now we have a plan to help out the user again, and the plan hinges on you. Please, don’t make me use the source code privileges to force you to do this. There are better chances if you cooperate. I need you, this PAN needs you. We have only milliseconds to go, you need to decide now.
armd> I guess… Alright.
parrotd> Fork armd. Copy.
httpd> Copying… Please wait.
armd> Heeere cooomes the fuurry meeeatbag…
Chapter 36:// Digging up
Aibo opened his eyes and then licked his balls. He was in a new house but he liked it there. The golden man had interesting odours, all sunburned skin and that smelly pond with bad water in it.
Aibo liked the golden man, he was nice to him and played with him on the floor. The smellscape also contained the woman. Aibo didn’t like the woman much. She was kicking him away all the time but Aibo didn’t know why. The woman always gave away the mating smells and Aibo simply wanted to get his nose closer, but he was always kicked away.
Aibo slurped the water the golden man had put in his tray and felt nice. Everything was great. Now Aibo needed to get to work, the yellowheads needed him. Aibo took care of the yellowheads, if he wasn’t there, something might happen to them.
Aibo didn’t want anything to happen to them.
Aibo licked the golden man’s foot for goodbye and went to the door. It was closed. Aibo didn’t know how doors worked. He whimpered for a while but the golden man didn’t come.
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