by Sharon Timm
Luca, she knew, would take over every aspect of her life. She would spend each waking moment with this sensual, strong and passionate man on her mind. She would slowly cease to exist as his shadow enveloped her. She would need him too much.
That was the word. It was the word she feared more than any other. She could deal with love as long as there wasn't an overwhelming need involved. With Luca, Sam could tell there would be no lukewarm sensations. He would make her blood boil with passion and turn her veins to ice with his callous, presumptuous way. She felt too strongly about this man. She could not let him make her need him. She had to get away.
Sam's fingers still played in Luca's hair. She laughed at herself for her mental decisiveness and her physical inability to let go.
Luca was talking again. "Just before the helicopter landed, you were going to tell me something, Sam."
"Was I?"
"Yes, you were, and I have been wondering ever since, what you were going to say."
"What were we talking about?" Sam asked innocently. Once again she flinched as the words came out. She knew perfectly well what they had been talking about. That moment and that conversation were etched into her memory and she re-played the moment over and over in her mind.
When the helicopter had rushed over their heads she had felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. The aircraft streaking overhead had brought her to her senses and she had realized, instantly, how close she was to making a big mistake.
"You were going to tell me something about your plans for the future."
"Shhh," Sam said. She clapped her hand over his mouth again, but this time there was another reason.
A loud, creaking, rusty-metal sound echoed through the cemetery. Someone had opened the gate.
Sam picked up the pipe and pressed it against the prisoner's shoulder. Luca faced the narrow opening, gun in hand and waited with the muzzle trained on the opening. They were silent. Voices could be heard and the reflections of flashlights played across the labyrinth of tombs.
Their pursuers moved quickly shining their lights into every angle and behind every monument. A bright beam of light glared through the narrow opening, casting two distinct shadow lines on the brick wall. Sam noticed that her prisoner was just inside the shadow line. If he moved, they would be discovered. The light source approached, stopped. It turned away and shone onto the crypt next to them. The voices grew louder and more frantic.
Sam heard the footsteps recede. She realized she was pressing the pipe into the prisoner's arm, she released her grip and the man exhaled with relief. She heard Luca snap the safety on the weapon and slip it into his pocket.
They listened as the gate was closed and powerful engines faded into the distance. Luca settled back onto the ground and rested his head in her lap. He was soon breathing evenly and deeply. His body relaxed as he fell into a painless sleep.
Sam went back to touching his hair and immersed herself once again in her thoughts. It felt natural for her to hold this man and touch his hair. She closed her eyes and remembered the warmth of his embraces. She had melted into his arms so easily. She had enjoyed the solace that overwhelmed her in his arms.
She imagined herself living in his castle on the hill. Waking up every day to be with him. Helping Anna around the house and walking with Luca through the vineyard.
She marveled at the peace she had felt there, even though the events which brought her to the vineyard had been so frightening and strange. She realized now, that despite being kidnapped at gunpoint, locked in a cage, and chased by people who wanted to harm her, sitting here with Luca had a calming effect on her.
She wondered if she could ever really have a relationship with Luca. Could she and Luca realistically work out an arrangement, which could accommodate two strong minds? Could they share an existence without one overshadowing the other? She shook her head and thought about the Navy.
She had a job to do. It was an important job. People needed her. Real people. Not fairy-tale people that hugged and kissed and sang songs. Not a fairy-tale man who was so startlingly handsome, had a beautiful voice, a lot of charm, and the annoying habit of taking her breath away. To her, Luca was a fantasy. He was an unreal person who had crossed her path in an unreal world. Who would believe this story if she dared tell it on the ship?
She imagined the laughter and teasing that would accompany telling a tall-tale, like the one she was living, to the other Chiefs. She imagined telling Doug or Jim Buford about the way she overcame, disarmed and tied up their guard. They would laugh and ridicule her for having an overactive imagination.
Still, she smiled proudly to herself. She had to admit, she'd handled the guard well. She looked over at the man who was motionless and apparently asleep. She hadn't thought about her safety when she knocked him down. She hadn't hesitated when she ripped his shirt and tied his hands behind his back. She'd been tired and angry but, most importantly, she'd been protecting Luca. It was that familiar instinct of hers. To take care of people who needed to be taken care of.
Luca stirred. "You haven't answered my question, Sam," he said.
"I've been avoiding your question."
"I noticed."
"Luca," she said. "Let me be straight with you."
"Please."
"These last few days have been a roller coaster for me. I have been assaulted, insulted, misunderstood, embarrassed, imprisoned, kidnapped," she thought a moment then added, "I've been kidnapped twice if you count the time you kidnapped me and took me to Monfalcone.
"I've been mistreated and treated better than I would have ever dreamed. I've met a bunch of the nicest people imaginable and some of the most horrid and detestable people as well."
"Which is my category," Luca interrupted.
"You have been on each extreme, Luca Danieli, but you're missing the point. Now is not the time to make decisions about the rest of my life. This has been the strangest week of my life. When I get back to my ship... IF I get back to my ship, I will have plenty of time to sort out what has happened here."
"So then, you are definitely not staying."
"Look at us, Luca!" Sam's voice was raised and tense. "Do you see us? We are sitting in a cemetery, guarding a man who came after us with a gun! You have a hole in your leg and need a doctor!" Sam shook Luca's face gently between the palms of her hands and glared down at him like a little child who will not hold still and listen to reason.
"Relax, Sam." Luca held his hands up in submission. "I was just making conversation."
"It’s pointless conversation, Luca. Why don't we talk about something important like how we're going to get out of this mess."
"That is no problem at all, Sam. The water-buses will start their daily runs soon. We will wait for the number five boat. Walk on board and ride to the San Zaccharia stop. Then, we will calmly escort our friend down the alley to the police station and once he is safely locked away, you can take me to the hospital."
"What happens then?" Sam asked.
"Then the Colonel picks up a phone, a helicopter flies in and takes you back to your world." Luca's voice trailed off. He continued in whisper. "And my world becomes an empty place, I guess."
"What are you saying, Luca? If you have something to say, come right out and say it."
"I'm saying I need you, Samantha Logan. I'm saying that you have become important to me over the last few days and I don't want you to go."
"No, Luca! You don't need me. After I'm gone you will realize how silly this was. You need me right now, because you are hurt. When you get well you will be back on top of your world and I will be back in charge of mine."
"Sam," Luca interrupted desperately, "tell me that you didn't feel anything when we kissed. Tell me that you didn't feel the excitement and electricity flow between us when I held you in my arms. Better yet, Sam, tell me why you are running your fingers through my hair."
Sam tried to jerk her hands away but he caught them in his. His hands were cool for the firs
t time since she had met him. She worried that he might not be keeping warm.
He pulled her reluctant hands down to his face and kissed her palms and fingers. Sam felt waves of electric sensations course through her body as the heat of his breath warmed her fingers. He relaxed his grip but she did not pull away. She let her fingers rest on his face, feeling the rough with the stubble of his beard. She caressed him gently with her fingertips, feeling his whiskers tickle each nerve ending. She felt her eyes begin to close.
He was talking again. His rich voice penetrated her defenses, and soothed her troubled mind. "Last week on the phone, I told my mother you were the most beautiful woman I had ever met. I let her believe we were involved because I desperately wanted it to be so. I think I fell in love with you the moment you stood up to me in my office and began demanding things."
Sam laughed at the recollection. "You were the most pompous arrogant man I had ever laid eyes on."
"And now that you know me better?"
"I'm not going to get into that right now, Luca. You were telling me about you. I think you said, `love.' Is that what you said?"
Sam felt a rush of warm emotion dance up her spine. She closed her eyes and listened to the magic words being spoken to her by the wounded man in her arms.
"I did say love, Sam. I love you. Not because I'm lying here with a hole in my leg and you saved my life, but because I need you. My vineyard will be empty without you. Venice will be just a bunch of old buildings stuck out in the water once you're gone. I know this isn't the time or place to talk about this, but Sam, when you asked the Colonel to get a helicopter for you, I realized I might never see you again. I was suddenly more afraid than I have ever been. Afraid I would lose you. I can't begin to imagine my life without you in it. That is why I asked if you were certified for night flights."
"I've been meaning to ask you, Luca, how did you know about the night flights? How do you know so much about the Navy? Where did you learn how to come aboard a ship and take your hat off in the wardroom?"
"That got to you didn't it?" Luca chuckled, then groaned with pain.
"Yes!" Sam punched Luca's chest playfully with a closed fist. "Yes, it got to me! I was prepared to make you look like a fool for arresting me. I was taking you to my turf. I was going to make you feel small. Instead, you knew the rules. You impressed everyone with your protocol skills and left me standing there with dried blood on my hands looking like an idiot."
"You looked great, Sam. And to answer your question, I was assigned to a NATO command several years ago. The Admiral in charge of the battle group had me assigned to his staff because I spoke English pretty well. I spent four years flying onto Navy ships with the Admiral.
"I have been on twenty-two American ships. Five of them were Ticonderoga Class cruisers like yours."
So that was it. He had played her expertly. She felt the familiar anger churning up within her. "You are a jerk Luca Danieli! You are world class jerk!"
"You wanted to go to your ship. I just gave you a ride."
"Sometimes I want to hit you, Luca."
"Sometimes, no, most of the time, I want to kiss you Sam." Luca's teeth chattered slightly and Sam felt him shiver under her hands.
"You're delirious," she said, "delirious and cold."
Sam checked on their prisoner. He was curled up in the corner, his knees pulled up to his chest, apparently sleeping. Sam stretched out next to Luca to share her warmth him. She cradled his head in one arm, draped her other arm across his chest and pressed her thigh across his uninjured leg.
"I am delirious, Sam, and since I am just imagining this..." he pulled her body onto his and pressed his lips to hers. He trembled from the cold. She trembled too. Sam kissed him hungrily and touched him and let the warmth flow from her body to his. He stopped trembling and fell asleep. Sam stayed by his side, holding him in her arms.
Cradling Luca's head, Sam ran her fingers through his hair. She looked up at the stars in the dark sky, softening at the edges into pre-dawn gray. She kissed his scratchy cheek lightly and thought of things that could have been.
She thought of Joe. She thought of their silly fight and the fire and the terrible loss. She thought about her career and the way she had clawed her way to the top of her field, desperately trying to right a wrong. Trying to somehow make things right between the husband she'd lost and the child she'd been. She remembered her promise. She remembered Doug's fingers pressing the anchors, that would have been Joe's, into her hand. She remembered things more clearly in the relief of the passing years. She felt at peace.
In the days following her husband's death she had prayed for a second chance. It was a desperate, unreasonable prayer. She had wished that she could go back in time and hold her man through the long night that would be their last together. Even if he had to die, she reasoned, she just wanted that one night back.
In the years that passed she'd come to terms with life. She knew now that there were no second chances. She knew that words must be said, loved ones embraced, kisses offered, and risks taken. Risks had to be taken, like the risks she had taken when the man with the gun had approached Luca, trapped under the fence.
Sam knew that Luca would be another bitter regret if she went back to the ship and sailed away. If she reenlisted and stayed in the Navy she would always wonder what might have been.
Would Luca's face haunt her nightmares as Joe's had? Would she always retreat in her sleep to his castle on the hill and walk, in dreams with him, among the vines? She feared her own mind. She feared the sleepless nights ahead. She feared the way she would drive herself once again; one challenging assignment after another. Working herself mercilessly to forget. Praying for the oblivion of a dreamless night's sleep, only to find him waiting for her when she lay down.
Sam felt tears brim from her eyes and roll down her cheek. A hand, warmer now, touched her face.
"You're crying, Sam"
"Yes, damn you, I'm crying." She held him in her arms tightly. "You make me cry. Actually, I make myself cry. When I think of leaving you I feel the same panic you described. I know you will haunt my dreams if I leave you. I know that every night when I close my eyes, I'll find myself walking through your vineyard with you by my side."
"Don't go, Sam."
I don't want to go." Sam sobbed. "I don't want to go but I can't stay. I can't leave my whole life behind. If I stay, I walk away from my career, my life and everything I know. If I leave, I walk away from you and from everything I want."
"Do you want me, Sam?"
"I want you. I want to go back to your vineyard and wake up every morning in the peaceful countryside. I want to walk with you through the hills. I want to learn Italian and get to know your family and friends. I want to hear you sing, and help Anna in the kitchen. I want to be a part of your life, Luca, but to be a part of your life I have to walk away from mine."
"I love you, Sam" Luca whispered.
"I love you too, Luca. More than I care to admit. More than I should. More than makes any kind of sense."
Sam moved back against the wall of the tomb and cradled his head in her lap again. The dawn was slipping gently across the sky, like a veil that obscured the stars. She stared up at the sky blurred by the tears in her eyes.
"I love the morning colors," Luca said.
Sam was jolted by his words. "What did you say, Luca?"
"I said, I love the morning colors."
"You can see the morning colors, too?"
"Sure," he said. "Everyone does... Don't they?"
"No," she said, "not everyone can see them."
Sam explained her impressions of the morning and her rituals. He didn't think them strange. He stared at the sky and pointed out the subtle hues of brilliant gold and pink that slipped quietly into the dark gray sky, fading from black to blue at its center. Slight wispy clouds drifted overhead capturing the colors and holding them for an instant after they'd faded from the rest of the sky.
Their prisoner awoke, groaned and
struggled to his feet, stretching his cramped body. Sam was instantly on her feet. She helped Luca up. The movement ignited the fire in his leg and his face was contorted with pain.
Luca leaned heavily against the wall and Sam reached for her iron tube and brandished it at her prisoner. If he was unimpressed with her looks in the morning light he obviously remembered the pipe she had used on him repeatedly. He cowered against the brick wall and shook his head. If he needed any more, convincing, he changed his mind when Luca took out the weapon and checked its action.
Sam handed Luca his crutch and he began hobbling toward the gate. Their prisoner followed and Sam followed him with her pipe in hand.
The sun was peeking over the breakwater at the edge of the lagoon when they emerged from the cemetery gate. As it screeched open, a group of pigeons who lined the wall flew away, startled. Sam crept carefully onto the landing. There was no sign of the powerful boat that had followed them the night before. No one had been left behind to wait for them. Only the pigeons and the dead were with them on the walled cemetery island.
Sam turned and nodded to Luca. He stayed, with their prisoner in the gateway, as Sam walked across the landing to wait for a water-bus.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Luca had reasoned that their pursuers would not be brazen enough to attempt anything in broad daylight. Sam looked at Luca's blood soaked bandage. He needed a doctor. She studied the ferret faced man whose eyes shifted about nervously when he wasn't looking straight down at his feet. She didn't trust him. Sam hoped Luca was right about the ease with which they would take him in.
Sam stretched side to side and leaned back. Her muscles were stiff and cold. Her shoulder ached where she had pillowed Luca's head. She lifted the pipe straight overhead, stretching her back and arms. She noticed the ferret was watching her. She glared at him. He stared at his toes again.
She was almost staggered by her callousness toward the creature who had once been their guard and had become her prisoner. She remembered how easily she had hammered the pipe into his midsection. It frightened her to note how easily she could do it again. Perhaps she was just taking out all of the emotions of these impossible past few days on him. Maybe she was just focusing all of her aggression on this rodent of a man.