I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at his stunning features. Of memorizing each line, each freckle on his beautiful face. The face that has adorned countless magazine covers, been in hundreds of runway shows, on billboards too many to count. In thousands of women’s dreams. The face of the man who has been voted the sexiest man in the world two years running. The man who is now my husband. I can’t help but smile while looking at him, silently thanking the heavens for bringing him into my life.
I bring my hand up so that I can stare at my ring. It truly is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. Not just because it’s from Aiden. The ring sparkles brightly, the color of the sapphire dancing when the light hits it. The diamonds shine. The ring is a perfect fit; we are a perfect fit. I’ve known in my heart and in my mind that nothing or nobody would ever come between us again. We will show the world that we are united. I’ll show the world that I will stand by my husband. I’m not going to let anyone hurt or disrespect Aiden. He went through so much as a child. If Carla releases those pictures of Aiden to the press, she will answer to me. I’ll see to that.
I lie there thinking about all the events of the last couple of weeks, about how the European tour ended so badly for us. How I was so heartbroken that I turned to Chris for comfort.
Oh my god, Chris.
I forgot all about Chris. Shit, I just know that he has heard the news of my marriage to Aiden already. There were so many news trucks there, taking videos of the whole wedding. What must he be going through? He doesn’t deserve this pain or heartache. Yes, I was completely upfront with him from the start, telling him I was still in love with Aiden, but I should have never stayed with him or lead him on in any way, shape, or form. How am I ever going to face him again? He probably hates me right now, and I can’t blame him. I just have to try and talk to him. Make him see that he will one day find the right girl, somebody who will love him the way he deserves to be loved. He might not believe it at first. Hopefully one day soon he will find the happiness he is looking for.
I have to be honest with Aiden and tell him that I was staying at Chris’s apartment these last couple of days. I have to make sure he knows that nothing ever happened between us, that I owe it to Chris to tell him face to face. It’s the least I can do.
After a while of lying in bed, I have the urge to pee, but I don’t want to wake Aiden. I need to slide out of bed without too much movement. I turn to look at him and see the bluest eyes looking at me.
“Good morning, my husband.” The dimple on his cheek deepens as he gives me a huge smile.
“Good morning, my wife.” He pulls me on top of him and kisses me.
I pull back, putting a finger over his mouth. “Aiden, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet, and I have morning breath. FYI, as much as I love you, so do you.” I jump off the bed before he can stop me, and I remember all over again that my legs are sore. Actually, my whole body is sore. I feel like I exercised all night. Laughing to myself, I guess I kind of did.
As I am about to shut the door to the bathroom, Aiden blocks me from doing so. “Aiden, I have to pee.”
“I’m not stopping you, Alexis, but I can brush my teeth while you do so.”
I have one hand on the door, and I put the other hand on my hip. “Aiden, I cannot use the bathroom while you are in here.”
“Alexis, you pee. I won’t watch, I promise. I will brush my teeth, then we can switch. You brush your teeth while I take care of business. The faster we finish, the faster we can get back in bed.”
“You want to get back in bed?”
“Alexis, you didn’t think I was going to start the first full day of our marriage without showing you how much I loved you, did you?”
If I don’t sit on the toilet now, we are going to be mopping on our first full day of marriage. I let go of the door, turn around, and sit on the toilet. “Don’t you dare watch me, Aiden Steffan.”
He shakes his head, lets out a small laugh, and goes to the vanity area. Without eye contact, he says, “Do you want the right side or the left side?”
“Aiden, I don’t know. Whichever side you’re not using, that’s the side I’ll gladly use.”
He turns to look at me as I am cleaning myself, and flushing. “Hey, you’re not supposed to watch me.”
“You said not to look at you while you pee. You never said anything about not watching you play with yourself.”
“I was not playing with myself, Aiden, I was cleaning myself.”
“What sink do you want, amore mio?”
“I’ll have the left, since it’s the one closest to the shower, if that’s fine with you, my husband.”
“Keep calling me your husband and you can have the world.”
I watch him brush his teeth as if I’m in a dream. I smile, look at my ring, and then back at him. I go to brush mine as well, glad that I have some things still here. Aiden goes to the toilet. He seems so unfazed by all the events of the last few months. It’s as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders when he shared all his past demons with me. We both know there will be talk when the pictures are released to the press. People are probably going to look at him in a very different way—maybe pity him, not want anything to do with him. Not know how to be around him.
Some advertisers might not want to work with him anymore. We don’t care about all that. Whatever comes from all of this, we will face together. We have each other, and that is what is important. I will show my husband and the world that Alexis Steffan can be one tough cookie. I will—
“Oh, Aiden!” I cover my nose. He laughs and flushes the toilet.
“Alexis, I couldn’t help it. Like I told you before, even us gods have to fart.”
I wave my hand over my face. “Well, I don’t know about other gods, but couldn’t you wait till I was out of the room before you do it?” I start to run for the door as he is washing his hands, but he grabs me by the waist, pulling me to him. “This god needs to be in you right now. Alexis, let’s take a shower.”
“I thought you wanted to get back in bed?”
“So you want to get back in bed, si?”
“What I want is to brush my teeth before anything else. Plus, I need to tell you something very important.”
“Fine, the shower can wait. Let us go back into the room. There we can sit. I will listen while you talk.”
I start to tell him how I was feeling when I got back to New York, thinking only that he had betrayed me with Carla. There were so many emotions I was going through. I felt as if my world was crashing down on me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was feeling weak and just wanted to hide from everyone. I tell him how I broke down crying when I heard he was marrying Carla. Then I tell him that Chris was there comforting me. How he held me when I thought things were over between Aiden and me. The whole time I’m speaking, my stomach is in knots and I tremble from nerves. Knowing I have to get all this in the open, I continue. When I say how Chris was the one who helped me get through all those dark days, Aiden reacts with different emotions, from sorrow, to anger, then back to hurt.
“I’m not saying any of these things to upset you, Aiden. I just want you to understand that I was heartbroken, and Chris helped me.”
“He helped you in order to have you for himself, Alexis. I am so sorry you were in such pain. If I could take those days back, I would. I know Chris—I know his true motives. He just wants to hurt me, cause me pain the way he says I did to him all those year ago.”
“No, Aiden, he understood that I was still in love with you. I made it very clear to him that you were still the only man in my heart and I didn’t know how long it would be before I was over you. He said that he would wait until I did not love you anymore.”
“Are you telling me that he never made a move on you?” I look down, wanting to make sure that I say the next words carefully, so Aiden doesn’t get the wrong idea.
I must take too long. The next words out of Aiden’s mouth come out with a roar. “Did you fuck him?
Did he have his hands on you? Were yours on him? Tell me the fucking truth!”
With wide eyes filled with tears, I stand up and slap him as hard as I can. “No! How can you even ask me that? I just told you I was upfront with him. He knew I was completely in love with you.”
Aiden’s jaw is tense. He stands, his body towering over me. His breathing is shallow and rapid, his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes. He inhales deeply, closing his eyes, and lets out a long, deep sigh. When he opens them again, he wraps his arms around me, so tight that I can’t catch my breath. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know you would never sleep with another man. Please forgive me for even thinking that.”
“Aiden, I can’t breathe. You’re holding me too tight.” He slowly releases his hold on me, but still has me closely to his chest. He kisses the top of my head. “Aiden, there will only ever be one man for me, and that’s you. But please, I need to finish telling you everything.”
He sits back down, pulling me onto his lap. I cup his face with both my hands.
“I hated the way I was feeling. I didn’t want to hear anything about you. Seeing Johnny with Shannon was torture to me because he reminded me of you. I stayed at Chris’s apartment for a few days.” I can see Aiden’s nostrils flare in anger. “Calm down, let me finish. I never slept with him. He did kiss me twice. That’s all, and it meant nothing to me. Aiden, you have to understand. I thought you were getting married to Carla. I thought we were over. I was trying to put you out of my mind, but I couldn’t. I told him that he would have to give me time to heal first. He said he would. Yesterday, when I agreed to meet Shannon for lunch, I was going to tell her that I was coming home.” I lean in toward Aiden and rest my head on his chest.
“Alexis, I hate the fact that another man tasted your lips. I do understand why you let him kiss you. I am so sorry that you were in such pain. If I could take away those days of sadness, I would.”
Lifting my head up, I tenderly kiss his nose. Aiden stands, walks with me around the bench, and lays me down with his arms wrapping us in a cocoon. A bubble of love, our own little oasis. “Amore mio, I want to hold you like this for the rest of our lives.”
“That is exactly how I feel, Aiden, just you and me forever.” Without us realizing it, the day has come to an end. A beautiful day filled with the kind of love that will last an eternity, love that time will stand still for. The kind of love that only comes once in a lifetime. That is what Aiden and I share. It’s what will get us through the good times and the bad.
***
On Saturday morning we shower, get dressed, and are down early for a big breakfast, one made for a king and his queen. Ms. Miller has gone all-out on this beautiful morning. The day is gloomy. When I looked out the window as I dressed earlier the sky was gray, but that doesn’t matter. Our love would make any day perfect. We could be in the middle of a storm right now and to me it would still be a glorious day. “Aiden, would it be all right if I go talk to Chris?”
“Alexis, I don’t think that would be wise.”
“I owe him that much. Please, I just need to tell him everything so he won’t think I used him.” I can see the tension in his face; it’s obvious he is struggling with this. Finally, he lets out a long sigh.
“If you feel it’s something you need to do, then I trust you.”
I place my hand gently on his cheek. “Thank you, Aiden.”
He cleans his mouth with the napkin, and setting it down on the plate, he says, “Don’t thank me yet. Anthony will drive you to meet with him and wait there for you.”
“You just said that you trusted me.”
“I trust you, Alexis, but let’s get one thing clear: I don’t trust him. Not for one second.”
I stand to take our plates to the sink. “I’m not a child; I don’t need a babysitter.”
Coming up behind me, he pushes my hair to the side. “Baby, I know you are not a child, but please give me this. I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you.”
I turn around to face him. “What could possibly happen to me? Chris would never hurt me.”
“Amore mio, a man hurt or wounded by love is capable of doing anything to keep what he believes to be his. Now do not fight me on this, Alexis, please.”
Letting out a breath, I finally agree. “Fine, but Anthony is to stay in the car so I can speak freely to Chris. Plus, that way he doesn’t feel betrayed too much.” I go up to our room, grab my phone, and call Chris. My mouth feels dry and my heart is racing with nervous feelings.
He answers on the third ring. No hello, only an accusing question. “Did you call me to stick the knife in my heart further in?”
“Chris, please let me explain. Can we meet up so I can say what I need to in person?”
He yells into the phone just one word: “Why?”
I close my eyes for a second and wonder if Aiden is right. Will I be in danger if I go see Chris? Shaking my head, I tell myself no, not from Chris. “Please let me explain.” We agree to meet at Central Park in half an hour.
Chapter 4
There’s a chill in the air, not just because it’s November. Because it’s inevitable that Chris will be hurting for a while. I can only hope that maybe he won’t hurt for too long. Getting out of the Bentley, I ask Anthony to not follow too closely. I don’t want Chris to feel like he’s being watched, although I know without a doubt that Anthony will pounce on him at the first sign of danger. Not wanting any distractions, I put my phone on silent. As it is, Aiden has already called once and texted me twice. I know he’s worried, but I’m grateful that he let me do this.
I walk toward the fountain in the middle of Central Park. When I see Chris sitting there with his head down, immediately my heart breaks for him. There’s no going around this. He has to realize that I can’t give him my heart. Not when it still and always will belong to Aiden.
He looks up just as I come to stand in front of him. “Make me understand why you would marry a man that has broken your heart over and over again.”
I sit down on the edge of the fountain next to him. “You don’t know the whole story, and you do not know him the way I do. He loves me, and I love him. I’m not trying to hurt you. I was always very upfront with you about my feelings for Aiden.”
“You also told me that you were done with him. That you were going to give us a chance. Suddenly from one day to the next you just marry the guy.”
“I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could take your pain away. You are a very special man. Any woman would be lucky to have you. I hope that one day soon you will find that woman. That all this pain and heartache will be a distance memory.”
He bows his head. “I did find her. She just can’t see what’s right in front of her. She can’t see that she chose the wrong man to take as her husband.”
I stand to walk away, but turn back to him. “I chose the man who has my heart. If I could take the hurt away, I would. Please try to move on from this—don’t let it consume you. I think you have a lot of love to give. I pray that you will find the right woman. One who will give that kind of love back to you. Goodbye, Chris.”
As I walk away, I hear him say, “This is not goodbye, Alexis.”
When I get back to the Bentley, Anthony is waiting with the door open. The look on his face is concerned. “How much did you hear?” I ask him.
“Enough to know I have to tell Mr. Steffan.”
***
Walking to the elevator, I say, “Let me be the one to tell Aiden.”
“As you wish, Mrs. Steffan.” With those words, I know he is concerned. He hasn’t called me by my last name in quite a while, even if it’s a different last name now. I think Anthony and I have become friends. For him to say my name like that gives me reason to know he is worried.
Entering the penthouse, I hear our song playing: “Secrets” by One Republic. I shake my head, smile, and silently say, I know, Erik, I’m going to tell him right now. No more secrets, no more walls. We share not
only the good, but the bad as well.
Noise comes from the kitchen. I know it can’t be Ms. Miller; Aiden gave her a weekend getaway. I think he just wanted us to be alone. When I reach the room, I stand there with my mouth hanging open. Aiden has what seems to be every dish from the cupboards out everywhere. Every mixing bowl, pot, and pan we have is on the stove, on the counters, and on the table. He turns around and there is flour on his face, hair, and clothes.
I can’t help but laugh out loud. Aiden is a great cook, though, so I’m kind of wondering what’s going on. “Oh my god, what are you doing?”
He stands there with the look of a child who just got caught doing something bad. “I wanted to make you a small wedding cake. You didn’t have one on our wedding day. I wanted to surprise you.”
We are both laughing and looking around at all the mess. He raises both his arms and says, “Surprise!” With that, I start laughing even more.
Walking toward him, I don’t notice there is an eggshell and a little oil on the floor. I slip and down I go, landing on my butt. Aiden runs to help but also slips and falls right by me. We are both laughing really loudly now.
I run my fingers through his hair and say, “I love you for trying to surprise me, but I don’t need a wedding cake right now. I’m sure the one we’ll have at our big wedding with family and friends will be large enough to feed a village.”
Anthony comes running in, as he must have heard the sounds we made while falling. He has a shocked look on his face. I can see he wants to laugh, but is trying hard to suppress it. He backs away to leave, stops, and asks if there is anything he can do to help. Aiden tells him that we will be all right and to have a good day.
Then Aiden stands and helps me up. Suddenly he throws me over his shoulder and walks up to our room.
“Put me down, I am perfectly capable of walking on my own.”
Following The Light (Out of the Dark Book 3) Page 3