World’s Top Model Raped as a Child.
Both my hands cover my mouth as I start to tear up. No, no! Jumping from the bed, I run into my closet to get dressed. I hear Aiden screaming out my name.
“Alexis!”
He is standing at the doorway of our bedroom. His eyes look wild with anger. His jaw is clenched, the veins in his neck bulging. His fists open and close rapidly, almost as fast as his breathing. Suddenly he hits the wall with a closed fist so hard that he makes a hole in it.
Running to him, I hug him with all my might. “We are going to get through this, Aiden. I’m here for you. I love you.”
“The bitch did it. She went to the media and told them everything. I’m ruined.” He pulls away and starts pacing the floor like a madman. He turns back to me. “Wait, how do you know?” He looks at the television. Just stares blankly at it. Then he runs both his hands through his hair. “Fuck!” Looking back at me, he seems even angrier now. “It’s on all the news channels already? Those fuckers do work fast. They’re bloodsuckers when it comes to someone’s misery.”
Aiden’s cell phone goes off. Then, only a second after, mine goes off too. He answers his. I reach for mine, seeing it’s Shannon. “Hello.”
She asks if Aiden and I are together, if we’re okay, sounding worried. I can hear Johnny in the background yelling something in Italian. She tells me that he wants to come over to talk to us.
“Shannon, I don’t know if that would be a good idea. No, you know what, maybe having his brother here would be a good idea. He needs all the support he can get right now.” I end the call. “Johnny and Shannon are coming.”
He’s still on the phone. From the sound of it, he’s talking to Brandy. Talking about an interview. Something about getting the complete story directly from Aiden himself. Not half-truths and fabrications, but the whole truth.
“Yes, I know my mom and dad will also want to speak. Make sure to have an interpreter there; you know their English is limited. Plus you know how my mother gets when protecting her children. She’ll forget the English language altogether.” He ends the call, walks to the bed, and sits on the edge. He lowers his head, placing both elbows on his legs.
I kneel in front of him and cup his face with both my hands. “Remember I am here for you. I will stand by you no matter what. I love you, Aiden Steffan.” There are tears in both our eyes. He sits straight up and pulls me onto his lap in a hug. I wrap my arms around this big, strong man who at the moment seems like a little boy again.
“You won’t abandon me?”
“Never. You are the love of my life. Now and forever. Johnny and Shannon are on their way. I hope that’s fine.”
“Yes, baby. I need my family right now.”
Chapter 9
We are sitting downstairs in Aiden’s office when there is a knock on the door. Walking in, Shannon goes straight to him and gives him a hug. Aiden has never shown anyone other than me his emotional side. He’s always been very strong when it comes to the public or in front of his family. To be honest, I think the only time he’s teared up in front of Shannon was when it came to almost losing me.
So when she hugs him and cries, I’m surprised that he tears up too and lets her hug him as long as he does. It isn’t until Johnny puts his hand on Aiden’s shoulder and says that whatever he needs, they’re here for him, for both of us, that he finally breaks the embrace and lets go of Shannon. She says, “I am so sorry that you two are going through this. I wish I could just have that bitch in a room for five minutes.”
Johnny hugs Aiden. If I wasn’t on the verge of tears again, I’d be smiling from the brotherly love they are sharing. Then I’m thrown for a loop as Johnny speaks. “I can’t believe she would stoop so low as to spread rumors like that. Why can’t she move on with her life? Doesn’t she realize that you’re going to sue her for making up vicious lies?”
As I blink the tears away, I notice Aiden become tense. “You both need to sit down. I need to tell you something.” I give him a confused stare. He holds his hand out for me to take. He sits in his desk chair and I sit on his lap. Shannon sits next to Johnny. “It’s not lies. Everything she is saying is the truth.”
The expression on Johnny’s face changes from anger to horror, then back to anger. “What are you saying, that you were raped as a little boy? Do Mom and Dad know? And if it’s true, why would you not share this news with me? Does Ysabel know?”
Sliding me off his lap, Aiden stands up and walks to the window. He looks out onto the city as he begins to tell them about the horrible things that were done to him. I listen as my husband speaks of the nightmare he lived as a child. Johnny fights hard to hold the tears at bay, but as hard as he tries, a couple of them slide down his cheeks. Shannon is quietly sobbing and finally has to put her face into her hands. She lets a gulp escape. After what seems like forever, Aiden turns to face us. He has answered every question Johnny asked. He told them everything there is to know.
Johnny stands, walks over to his brother, and gives him a hug. “You are the bravest man I know. What you went through as a child was horrible, and none of it was or is your fault. You were and are the victim. I am honored to have you as my big brother. No matter what happens, I am here for you.”
Shannon walks to where they are standing and wraps her arms around him, sobbing into his chest. “I don’t know how your parents could do that to you. How any parents could or would do that to their child. They’re awful. I hate them.”
“They are not my parents. They just gave me birth. My parents are Johnny and Analisa Steffan. It was them who saved me, who gave me a great life. Who gave me unconditional love. They are my real parents in every sense of the word.”
“Yes, you’re right. Lexie and I may not be blood, but we are sisters in every way that counts. Now you are my brother-in-law, and I love you, Aiden. I’m also honored to have you as family. Just like Johnny said, we’re here for you no matter what. We will stand with you.” It’s midnight as we see them out the door. The events of the day have left us both drained. We head up for bed.
***
As I’m fixing the covers on the bed for us, I see the letter. Aiden is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Do I tell him about it and what it says, or do I let it wait for a better time? Is there ever going to be a better time to speak of this? My husband is dealing with so much. More than anybody should. On Friday, when his parents and sister arrive, they will all be on the air. None of this should be happening. It’s not fair to any of them. They should be here to celebrate their son’s happiness and our future. Instead, because of a vindictive woman who didn’t get her way, they will all be answering questions about the past. I can’t help but think, What if they hate me, or blame me? Because he chose me, his horrible, tormented past came back to haunt him yet again.
The feeling of guilt washes over me. Being so deep in thought, I don’t even hear Aiden come up behind me. “What’s that in your hand?”
“Huh? What?”
“Are you okay, Alexis?”
“Um, yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“Because you didn’t even hear me talking to you when I asked. What is that piece of paper in your hand?”
My feet feel like jelly. I sit down, looking up at him. “I need to talk to you, Aiden. I don’t want any secrets between us. I need your help with this.”
“What do you need my help with? And what secret are you talking about?”
Searching his face to see his reaction, I start to unfold the paper. “Aiden, first and foremost, please keep in mind I am with you. I chose you because you are in my heart. You are the love of my life, you are my soulmate. You own me mind, body, and soul.”
“Alexis, why are you telling me all of this? Just tell me what is written in that paper.”
I take a deep breath in. “It’s a letter from Chris.”
“How in the hell did he get this letter to you? Was he here when I was at the meeting?”
I take his hand in mine. “Ple
ase sit down.”
He shakes his head slightly, but finally sits down, narrowing his eyes. I can feel them burning straight through me. “Why are you talking to him? And why in the fuck are you seeing him?”
The need to be defensive overwhelms me. But then I remember all that he is already dealing with and try to sound as calm as possible. “I haven’t seen or spoken to him since that one time you had Anthony take me to the park to meet him. He sent this letter to the office. I put it in my briefcase the day we were there. The same day we went to see Dr. Shaw. I was going to tell you about it that day, but then I was admitted into the hospital.”
“Okay, but what would I need to help you with? Do you want me to talk to him? Because I will, you know. I’ll tell him in no uncertain terms to stay away from my wife.”
“Aiden, we need to get him help, like maybe talking to a psychiatrist. In this letter he sounds so sad. I’m worried that he’ll do something to hurt himself.”
“What?” In one swift move, he is off the bed and walking toward the door.
“Wait, please. I know how much you hate him. I also know how much you love me…”
“Don’t try to use my love for you to get me to do something for him.”
Before he opens the bedroom door, I’m standing between him and it. I place my hands on his chest. “I love you and I would never think of using the love you have for me as a ploy to get you to do something. I have too much respect for you to do that. It’s just that if it wasn’t for him, I might have been killed that night in the park. He risked his life for me. We both owe him for that.”
He takes a few breaths in and out. Then, gritting his teeth, he pulls me into him. “Fine. I’ll ask Brandy to find a doctor for Chris to talk to.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. I couldn’t live with the guilt if he did something to hurt himself. In order for you to know what I’m talking about, please read the letter.” I hold it out in my hand to him. He takes it, opens it up, and reads it while slowly walking back to the bed.
He looks at me. “I see what you mean, but we can’t do anything tonight. Plus, right now I have my own demons to deal with.”
“Those demons we will handle together as man and wife. I am never going to leave your side.”
***
We spend all Thursday at home preparing for the Steffan family to arrive from Italy. I create the full week’s menu with Ms. Miller and make sure that the guest rooms are nice, clean, and ready for them. I feel like a mother hen as I keep asking Aiden if he’s okay. He’s already telling me to stop acting like he is made of porcelain. That he’s not going to break and all he needs is his family and his wife standing by him. I have to say, I’m really proud of my husband and how well he is handling all of this.
Here’s to hoping tomorrow at the live taping of the interview on Channel Twelve goes off without a hitch. Good Day New York will be talking not only to Aiden but also both his parents. The visit, which was supposed to be about meeting and welcoming their new daughter-in-law, has now become bittersweet. After we pick them up at the airport early tomorrow morning, they and Aiden are going straight into a frenzy of very private questions. The world will be watching as they answer how Aiden came into their lives. My husband will have to share the most painful memories of his childhood. All because that bitch Carla lost him to me. No one has heard from her. We don’t even know where she is.
Not that we’ve really tried locating her. Actually, I think it’s better that none of us have seen her. I don’t think I would be able to restrain myself if she were in front of me.
Both of us barely touch dinner. We eat in silence. As we get ready for bed, I watch Aiden go through the motions of brushing his teeth. Walking up behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist. Startled, he whips around. “Alexis, I didn’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to hug you.”
He sighs and turns back to the sink. I walk back to the bed and get in. As I hear the water running again, I wonder just how well he is really holding up. Has it all been an act today, so he doesn’t worry me? What must he be feeling inside? I know this can’t be easy for him, remembering how he struggled to tell me all the ugly details. How is he going to be able to look into the camera tomorrow and do that?
When he gets in bed, I turn to face him. He pulls me in close. “I love you, Aiden.”
“I know, baby, I love you too.” He brings his hand to lightly caress my cheek. “As long as I know that you are in my corner, I’ll be fine.”
“We are going to get through this, my love. I will be right by you until we are old and gray.” We fall asleep lovely gazing into each other’s eyes.
***
“No, no, stop. It hurts. Please, no!”
I’m awakened by his screams. I place my hand on his arm. “Aiden, wake up. I’m here. It’s just a nightmare.”
He’s thrashing around, his head going from side to side. Suddenly he has his hands around my neck. He’s on me, choking me. Trying frantically to get him to let go, I’m gasping for air. “Aiden, stop.”
His eyes widen in horror. He leaps off the bed, looking down at his hands, then back at me. Tears are flowing down his face. He seems stunned. I know that I have to act quickly, but I’m still trying to catch my breath. I try to get the words out, but I’m coughing.
“Alexis, I’m sorry…I don’t…”
He runs out of the bedroom. I go in search for him, from his office to the kitchen, then the gym. I run from room to room, calling out his name. Panicking, I’m about to call Anthony when I hear noise from the dining room balcony. Walking out, I see this normally big, powerful man who is a force to be dealt with. At the moment, he is huddled in a corner with his knees up to his chest, sobbing into them.
I kneel in front of him, wrapping him in my arms. “I’m here, Aiden. I’ll never leave you. I love you.”
Still with his head down, he says through the sobs, “How can you still love me? Look what I just did to you. I don’t deserve you. He was right. I am unlovable. I’m good for nothing. You would be better off without me. I need to let you go.”
Now it is me looking at him in horror. “What? No! Don’t ever say that to me again.”
He pushes me away. “God, woman, did you not see what I just did to you?”
I tighten my hold on him. “Stop, just shut up and stop. You don’t get to say what’s best for me. Not when you aren’t thinking clearly. I am here with you and for you until the day I die. I love you and I fucking need you. If I lose you, it would kill me. It would leave me devastated.”
He throws his head up and gives one loud yell, “Why?” Then he pulls me into his chest. As we both sit there crying, he finally speaks. He lifts my face to look at him. His eyes are puffy and red. Through the tears, he says, “I’m sorry, baby. I love you, Alexis, and I never want to hurt you.”
“The only way you can hurt me, Aiden, is if you push me away. If you leave me, it would kill me.” I lay my head back on his chest and hold him as if my life depended on it. He’s running his hands through my hair, kissing the top of my head.
Standing up, he carries me upstairs and shuts the door. We lie in bed holding onto each other until the alarm rings.
***
We shower, dress, and are downstairs by six thirty. Anthony is waiting for us at the SUV. We drive off to the airport to pick up my new family. The knots in my stomach keep growing. I keep rubbing my hands together.
Aiden places his hands on mine. “Alexis, it’ll be fine. They are going to love you almost as much as I love you.”
Wanting to lighten the mood, I ask playfully, “Only almost as much?”
“Baby, nobody in this world could ever possibly love you as much as I do.”
I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. We drive to a private part of the airport. Brandy arranged it so we don’t have to pick them up where the public will see us. Standing in the waiting area, we watch as the plane lands. Within a short time, they are walki
ng into the room. His father, Johnny Steffan Sr., is tall, with an average form, black hair, and black eyes. I see where Johnny gets his height from. Analisa Steffan is a little taller than me and has a slender physique, green eyes, and sun-kissed skin. The woman carries herself elegantly. Ysabel is petite. She has long, straight black hair and the same black eyes as their father, as well as the sun-kissed skin tone.
Gianni, Ysabel’s boyfriend, walks in holding her hand. Aiden looks at their hands entwined and narrows his eyes. I take a hold of his hand and say, “Sweetheart, be nice to him.” He nods in acceptance.
The first to reach us is his mother. She embraces her son, then cups his face in her hands, looking at him with the love of a worried parent. “Come va, Aiden?”
He holds her hands, then hugs her tightly. “I’m okay, Mama.”
“Sembri stanco.”
“It’s fine, Mama. I promise I will get plenty of rest when we get back to our home.”
Pulling away, she keeps holding onto his face. “Mio bel ragazzo. Mi manchi tu.”
“I have missed you too, Mama.”
His father is standing behind her. “Mi abbraccio nostro figlio.” She releases Aiden and his father gives him an embrace. He doesn’t release him right away; my heart melts when I see him bring him into a tighter hug. “Ti amo, figlio.”
“I love you too, Papa.”
Ysabel doesn’t stop at Aiden, but instead walks over to where I am. She looks at me for a second, then leans her head to the side and smiles. “So…you are the woman who showed my brother how to love? Because of you, he finally found happiness. That makes you very special to us. Ti amo, Alexis. My new sister.” She pulls me into a hug, then breaks it and kisses me on each cheek.
She takes a step back. “Alexis, this is my boyfriend, Gianni.”
I hold my hand out. “It’s very nice to meet you, Gianni.”
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