by Faye Avalon
He slid his hands down over her ass, forcing her hips to meet his. Right then, he knew he’d tell her anything, promise her anything, as long as she didn’t decide to change her damn mind.
“What is it about you?” he groaned against her mouth. “What the fuck is it?”
* * * * *
Erin was asking herself the same question. She didn’t know up from down right then. All she knew was that this felt so right. Being in Nathan’s arms, feeling the press of him against her, the crush of his mouth on hers.
She welcomed the way his hand slid between them, the way his palm cupped her breast. In some vague part of her brain she was aware they were outside by the public car park, and people could walk past at any moment. That she didn’t much care surprised her. All she wanted was to stay this close to Nathan, for him to keep touching her.
He flicked his thumb across her nipple, so tender beneath the fabric of her dress, her bra. When she moaned softly, he did it again.
The hand he had on her backside slid beneath her dress. His fingers brushed her thigh.
“Shit. You’re wearing stockings.”
Since he said it almost with a growl, she smiled and asked purely for form, “You don’t like them?”
“Are you kidding? The first time I ever got off was to a picture of a female in stockings.”
“You do that a lot.”
“What?”
“Refer to women as females.”
And in doing so, she realized, it added to the sense of the primitive she felt about him, the possessive vibe, the sense of ownership he projected, like he considered her his in the most elemental way. That unsettled her, rattled her to the core.
The knowledge made her want to run as fast as her heels would allow. But for some bizarre reason, her feet stayed firmly planted on the ground. Nathan might terrify her, but he also excited her.
Her stomach trembled and she shivered. Whip fast, he stepped back, took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.
He pulled her back to him. “Want to get out of here?”
“Nathan…”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Shit. Don’t do this to me, sugar.”
She shook her head. “I’m…you…you do scare me a little.”
His eyes went wide, then narrowed and turned very dark.
She shook her head again. “Not… It’s just that you make me want you when I know I shouldn’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
“It’s the getting-to-know-you thing, I suppose. We don’t really know anything about each other.”
“Okay. Here it is. I’m thirty, clean, and have all my own teeth. I was in the army, Special Forces, stationed in Afghanistan. Now, with Tynan, I run a security consultancy. I travel a lot, enjoy female…women’s company, and have wanted to get inside you since the first time I caught sight of you. How’s that?”
“It’s honest, I suppose. What sort of things does a security consultancy do?”
He ran his hands up and down her arms. “Pretty much anything that’s needed. I’ve got the physical detail kind of stuff, Ty takes care of the technical. Brawn and brains. It works.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Not when it works.”
He took her mouth again, then bit gently along her lower lip, slow and oh so sensual. “So, Erin. Are you coming home with me?”
“No. I can’t do that.”
Like a man in pain, he squeezed his eyes shut, then dropped his forehead to hers. “You’re fucking killing me, sugar.”
“I can’t go home with you. I have my dog, remember? I can’t leave her alone any longer than I already have.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. “What are you saying? That you’re asking me back to yours?”
Since she’d be on her own territory, her own home ground, Erin decided to take a chance. “Yes,” she said after the briefest hesitation. “But only for coffee.”
His green eyes gleamed, and he tugged his jacket tightly around her. “That’s a start. I’ll take it.”
* * * * *
Erin could barely remember saying her good-byes, since Nathan had whipped them away so fast it made her head whirl. She had a recollection of Talia’s concerned look, but Erin wasn’t going to let it push doubts into her head. She was starting to know her own mind, trust her own instincts. That knowledge had been hard won. During these last few months, she had been forced to make her own decisions, and had allowed herself to make them while reveling in her newfound freedom. Being with Nathan tonight was something she wanted, something she’d rolled over in her mind all evening, and she instinctively knew it was right for her.
It would be a kind of rite of passage, she supposed, taking the opportunity to sneak a look at Nathan as he drove her home. An assertion that she was in charge of her own life, her own sexual needs. If she went all the way—and she had a feeling that was where coffee would lead—it would be just for a night. The scratching of an itch. For both of them. She knew his reputation. Was brutally aware that he enjoyed sex but didn’t do relationships, preferring to move on. That suited her fine. Like she’d told him, she didn’t want forever-after either. In fact, at this point in her life, she wanted to be like Nathan and enjoy sex for its own sake without the ties and complications that came from an involvement that went beyond the brief and the physical. Living this way ensured she would never risk losing herself again.
On the surface, Nathan shared similar attributes to Justin. Powerful, enigmatic and self-assured. Except, in retrospect, Justin’s power was superficial, while Nathan’s seemed innate. He was enigmatic, but again it wasn’t on the surface. It was integral to who he was, that mysterious quality that she couldn’t quite define or label.
Plus, he was sexy as hell, whereas Justin hadn’t really done it for her. Her only attraction to him had been because he’d shown her attention. At the beginning of their relationship, he had lavished it on her. She’d never had that from her parents. They’d been too busy with their own lives, with their own careers, to worry about spending time with their only child. Justin had made her feel wanted, admired. Then he’d controlled her, manipulated her. He’d found her Achilles’ heel and played on it. At first, she’d been too young, too impressionable to see through it, but it hadn’t taken long before she’d realized she was trapped by a monster.
Now she was slowly rebuilding her confidence, reasserting her own power, making her own decisions. An integral part of that meant acting on her own needs and desires, while continuing to protect herself in any way she deemed necessary.
Buoyed by that understanding, Erin stopped at her front door and looked up at Nathan. “Willa, my dog. It’ll probably be best if you just ignore her.”
He held out his hand for her key and, without a word, unlocked the door. He stood back, and Erin stepped into her hallway. Already halfway to the door, Willa froze, her eyes huge and wary as she stared at Nathan. With a pitiful whine, she started to back away, her ears pinned back to her skull.
Erin felt a pang. She hated that Willa was still so scared and had hoped that by now she might be starting to trust again. “Come on, baby. Everything’s fine. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”
Erin went down the hall, aware that Nathan closed the door behind them. Willa’s attention was fully on Nathan and she hid behind Erin when they made their way into the kitchen.
At the threshold, Nathan lingered. He hunkered down, rested his elbows on his thighs and gently encouraged Willa to come to him. “Here, girl. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He didn’t reach out to her, didn’t click his fingers or make those cooing sounds people tended to do when faced with a reluctant dog. The fact that he’d take the time, have the patience, meant so much to Erin that she couldn’t stop the warmth filling her chest.
Not taking his eyes from Willa, Nathan asked, “How old
?”
“She’s sixteen months.”
“What spooked her?”
The six-million-dollar question, Erin thought, and hoped he wouldn’t press so she wouldn’t have to lie to him. “She’s just a little skittish with strangers.”
The way Nathan eyed Willa, and the way Willa eyed him back, prompted Erin to wonder if there was some sort of communication going on between them that went far deeper, sounder, than any normal contact between man and dog. It was the strangest feeling and akin to the kind she had at the oddest moments around Nathan. It made her want to relax her defenses a little, to lower that barrier she had constructed around herself. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite put a label on. Did Willa sense it too?
She let her attention float between man and dog. Nathan’s green gaze had darkened, his expression intense and focused. Her dog was curled tight into her leg and was quivering badly. Erin was about to bend and reassure her, but Nathan stopped her in her tracks.
“Why don’t you give her a minute?”
Nathan barely moved, just crouched there on her kitchen floor while he and her dog had a staring match. Willa barked twice, tried to get farther behind Erin. “She’s really scared. Why don’t I put her in the sitting room and—”
“She’ll be okay. Won’t you, girl?”
Willa sat bolt upright, as if on alert. She whined a little, glanced up at Erin, and then began moving slowly across the kitchen. Her tail was between her legs, something Erin hated. She’d seen Willa like that too many times to count.
Seconds later, Willa stood in front of Nathan. Her tail was still down, as was her head, but she looked up at Nathan with doe eyes.
“Why don’t you hand me some treats?”
A surprised Erin was already reaching for the biscuit tin. “What are you? Some kind of dog whisperer?”
Nathan chuckled. “Far from it. Sometimes all it takes is a little patience. There’s a good girl,” he said, offering Willa one of the treats Erin handed him. “Nothing here to be afraid of.”
Erin knelt beside Nathan, stroking along Willa’s flank. “That’s the fastest I’ve known her to accept someone she doesn’t know. You’re a miracle worker.”
“She knows I don’t mean her harm. It’s that simple.”
Well, not entirely, Erin thought. She’s got too much baggage in her short life to trust that easily. But all that really mattered right then was that Willa was now down on her belly enjoying the treats Nathan fed her, interspersed with a stroke and tickle between her ears.
Erin looked up and met Nathan’s gaze. The man had spent time patiently getting to know her dog when he could so easily have simply ignored Willa. Hadn’t someone once said that you could recognize the heart of a man from the way he treated animals?
It was enough to persuade Erin that she could take the final step toward short-term intimacy with Nathan, and she let the last of her reservations slip away.
She wanted him. He wanted her. It was for one night. Her eyes were wide open.
“You said something about coffee,” Nathan said, still scratching between Willa’s ears. “I’ll need a shot of energy for the drive back to my place.”
Erin smiled. “I think I can manage that.”
His eyes gleaming dangerously, he took her hand and pulled her to her feet. Willa showed her displeasure at the withdrawal of her biscuit source by nudging Nathan’s leg.
“How about your bedtime treat?” Erin said, distracting her dog. “Out you go first.”
She opened the back door to the yard and Willa shot out. Nathan came up behind Erin, nuzzling at her neck.
“You smell good. I meant to tell you that earlier.” His arms came around her from behind and he drew her back against him. He inhaled, deeply. “Yeah. You smell really good.”
She placed her hands over his and wriggled back against him. She could feel his erection nudging against her back and the contact sent shockwaves of awareness from her hardened nipples straight to her pussy.
She ground against him, sliding her hands along his wrists and lower arms, taking care to keep the movement slow and seductive. She’d never taken the initiative with a man before, but now she reveled in it. Just as she did the hitch of Nathan’s breath, the thump of his heart against her shoulder blades.
“Fuck, Erin,” Nathan grated against her ear. “For pity’s sake, let me have you.”
She tilted her head, enjoying the way he planted openmouthed kisses on her neck. Seconds later, with her legs in danger of losing all feeling, she turned in his arms. She met his lips as they slanted over hers and slid her arms around his neck. His hands moved to cup her backside, and he pulled her up hard against his erection. The breath caught between her ribs, and all she could do was moan with pleasure.
Willa jumped at her back, pushing her at Nathan. The dog barked before bustling back into an attack position, displaying her teeth in a snarl.
“It’s okay,” Erin said, coming out of his arms and bending to take Willa’s head in her hands. “It’s okay, baby girl.” She looked up to where Nathan stood in the doorway, a dark look on his face. “She’s protective. She doesn’t like anyone touching me.”
Nathan’s frown deepened. Erin hoped to heaven he wasn’t going to press the issue and ask why. But since he was on a promise of sex, she imagined that, in line with most every other man on the planet, there wasn’t much in the way of thinking going on in his head right then. At least not of the variety that didn’t involve getting her naked, and pronto.
True to her expectations, he remained silent, and Erin breathed an inner sigh of relief. After locking the door, she calmed Willa down with a few steadying strokes of her glossy fur, then put her down for the night in her bed and gave her the nighttime chews.
While Willa was distracted, she beckoned Nathan through to the sitting room and closed the door. Since the stairs were in the corner of the room, Erin led the way over. Nathan took her arm as she reached the first step.
“Do you want to tell me what that was about?”
Damn it. Why did she have to have a man with a thinking brain, when for the first time in her life she was focused on sex? “Like I said, she’s protective.”
“Did someone hurt you?”
The intense look on his face, the dark promise of retribution that shone from his eyes, made Erin shake her head. “No. At least not in the way you think.”
How easily the lie had tripped from her tongue. But even if she were ever to tell anyone about her past, which she didn’t intend to do, this was neither the time nor place for such a confession.
Nathan ran his hand through his hair. “Erin, you need to know that you were right about me.”
She frowned. “How?”
“That night, at the hotel. You said that no woman in her right mind would allow herself to get involved with the likes of me. You were right.”
“I can’t be in my right mind, then, can I?”
“If someone has hurt you before, then you need to understand how it is with me.”
He thought she’d been hurt emotionally by someone who had let her down. While he was correct on one level, Justin had let her down, he was way off course if he thought Justin had broken her heart because she loved him.
While she appreciated Nathan’s concern, she didn’t welcome his need to point out the obvious. That he wasn’t a forever kind of guy.
She faced him squarely. “I’m not stupid, Nathan. I know how things are. You don’t stick. I’m fully aware of that, and also that this is a one-off thing. It suits me just fine. You don’t hold the prerogative on one-night stands.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re a woman who makes plans. You’re searching for your place, somewhere to put down roots and make a life.”
She cocked her head. “Well now, you’ve got me figured out so well, haven’t you? And anyway, what if th
at’s true? What does it have to do with you and me going upstairs and having sex?”
“For some women, having sex changes things.”
“Not this woman.” Erin laughed, hoping Nathan hadn’t guessed that this was her first attempt at having plain and uncomplicated sex. “Yes, I’ve got plans, and I want to put down roots somewhere in the not too distant future. I want to make a new life for myself and for Willa. A man who sticks around doesn’t feature in those plans, although I intend to have some very scorching and meaningless sex along the way.
“You should know something about me, Nathan. I haven’t had sex for a while, and I haven’t been that bothered about it, to tell the truth. Now, I’m suddenly bothered, and you happen to be pushing all the right buttons. But there’s one thing I need to make clear, and I have to be sure that you understand.”
He only raised his eyebrows.
“This is a one-night-only deal. It’s all I want from you, and all I’m prepared to offer. Right now, there are things in my life I need to focus on, and a man in the equation is not one of them. You have to understand that.”
Those eyebrows drew together in a scowl, and he ran his hand over his head again. “How is it you always manage to blindside me? I think I’ve got you pegged, and you fucking blindside me.”
Erin slipped her arms up around his neck. “How about we go and enjoy some of that scorching and meaningless sex before we manage to kill the mood completely? Hopefully, it will clear your head a little.”
His arms came around her. “How long?”
“Hmm?”
“Since you had sex.”
There was no way she could call the last time with Justin sex. She shrugged. “It’s been several months.”
Before she could dwell on the night that had changed everything, the wind was knocked out of her when Nathan swept her into his arms. “Then it’s time to end your drought.”