The next thing she knew, her head was against the pillow and a jumble of concerned faces were staring down at her. ‘What happened?’ she mumbled, her tongue thick in her mouth.
‘You passed out,’ Gabe said. His features swam into focus and Sam saw he was grinning. ‘Again.’
‘A little too much gas and air,’ Nina said in a kind tone. ‘Try not to breathe so deeply next time.’
The gas definitely helped to dull the contractions, Sam thought as time went by; she could still feel the relentless squeeze of her muscles and the ever-increasing ache deep inside her that somehow managed to push and pull at the same time.
‘Don’t leave me,’ she gasped at Gabe during one wave of agony that seemed to last forever. ‘I can’t do this on my own.’
He smiled and held her fingers almost as firmly as she grasped his. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll stay as long as you need me.’
In the end, Nessie arrived just before the baby. She hurried into the room, her hair wild and unbrushed, her eyes panicky. ‘How are you?’ she asked Sam, who grimaced and moaned. Nessie’s gaze transferred to Gabe. ‘How is she?’
‘She’s doing brilliantly,’ Gabe said, barely taking his eyes from Sam.
‘Not long now,’ Nina called from the bottom of the bed. ‘Keep going, Sam. Push!’
Gritting her teeth, Sam did as she was told. The effort caused her to groan.
Nessie took the hand that was tangled in the rumpled sheets and wrapped her fingers around it. ‘I’m here. You can do it.’
The pain was so intense that it was all Sam could focus on. She was only dimly aware of Gabe speaking to her; the words were lost among the waves and it took her a moment to realise he had let go of her hand. But a thin, reedy wail split the air, cutting through the fog in Sam’s mind like a siren. Almost instantly, the pain stopped. Blearily, she looked at Nina, who beamed at her.
‘It’s a girl – congratulations!’
Dazed, Sam stared at the impossibly small body the midwife held. ‘Is everything . . . is she okay?’
‘Everything is fine,’ Nina reassured her. ‘Small but perfectly formed. And as you can hear, there’s nothing wrong with her lungs – she’s breathing all on her own!’
Sam sank into the damp bedsheets, relief washing over her like a flood. ‘Oh, thank god for that.’
Beside her, Nessie’s cheeks were wet as she smiled down at her. ‘Bloody well done, Sam. She’s gorgeous.’
Sam allowed her eyes to drift shut for a moment. She’d done it – she’d actually done it.
‘Here,’ Nina said, after a few more minutes had ticked by. ‘You can hold her now.’
The midwife placed the tiny bundle of white sheets and mottled pinky-blue skin into Sam’s arms. Sam gazed down at her daughter, utterly transfixed, for what felt like hours, then looked into Nessie’s damp-eyed gaze. ‘She’s got my nose. Joss is going to be furious.’
Nessie shook her head. ‘He is not. He’s going to be just as delighted as the rest of us. I’m so proud of you, Sam. You did wonderfully well.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without Gabe,’ Sam said, and noticed for the first time that he was no longer in the room. ‘Where’s he gone?’
‘He said something about trying Joss again,’ Nessie said gently. ‘I’m sure he’ll be back soon.’
But Sam was finding it hard to focus on anything but her tiny baby. She stared down at her again, not quite able to take in the fact that she was here already. ‘Hello,’ she whispered. ‘You caught us a bit by surprise. But the good news is that we know your name already.’ She hesitated and glanced up at Nessie, who nodded. ‘I think we’re going to call you Frances, after a very special friend of ours.’
*
There were more tests and checks, more doctors and nurses, but eventually both Sam and the baby were given a clean bill of health.
‘We’ll have to keep an eye on her,’ Nina said, as the room began to empty. ‘But as long as she continues to breathe and feed well, she shouldn’t need any special care.’
‘Good,’ Sam said, glancing across at Frances, who lay in a transparent cot, swamped by a too-large Babygro. ‘Thank you.’
‘My pleasure,’ Nina replied, smiling.
Sam opened her mouth to speak again and was surprised by a sudden yawn.
Nessie laughed, before leaning back into the chair next to the bed and yawning herself. ‘You must be shattered. Why don’t you get some rest?’
‘Oh no, I couldn’t,’ Sam said, a spike of anxiety stabbing through her. ‘What if she wakes up?’
‘Then I’ll wake you up,’ Nessie answered. ‘I’ll be here, Sam. Go to sleep.’
‘But what about Joss? What if he arrives while I’m sleeping?’
The look Nessie gave her was half-amused, half-exasperated. ‘See my previous answer.’
Sam didn’t want to give in, but she could feel her eyelids sinking even as she fought them. ‘Promise you’ll wake me up if she needs me.’
‘Of course I will,’ Nessie said. ‘Now rest.’
*
When Sam opened her eyes again, it was Joss and not Nessie she saw.
‘Hello,’ he said softly, leaning forward in the chair. ‘I see you’ve been busy.’
Sam’s gaze flickered sideways to the cot; the baby’s outfit had been changed to one that no longer swamped her tiny frame. Someone had been shopping while she slept. ‘I have. Sorry.’
He laughed, an incredulous, delighted sound. ‘Bloody hell, Sam, don’t apologise. It’s me who should be saying sorry to you – I wasn’t there when you needed me.’
A frown creased Sam’s forehead then, because although she wished Joss had been there to see his daughter born, the truth was she hadn’t needed him at all. They’d both been well looked after by Gabe. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘About an hour,’ he replied, then hesitated. ‘Gabe came and picked me up.’
Sam blinked at him, wondering if she’d misheard. ‘Who did?’
‘Gabe – I rang him as soon as I got his message,’ Joss said. ‘Actually, I rang Nessie, but she’d turned her phone off. So I found Gabe’s number in my missed calls and he told me what had happened – offered to come and collect me. It would be quicker, he said.’
A sudden lump formed in Sam’s throat. It was so kind of Gabe – so typically him – that she found it hard to swallow. ‘He must be dead on his feet. Has he gone back to the pub for a rest?’
Joss shook his head. ‘He’s outside.’ Again, he paused, but this time he seemed to be fighting some kind of internal battle. ‘He’s a good bloke. I like him.’
‘He is,’ Sam said, an involuntary smile pulling at her lips. ‘The best.’
‘Yeah, I thought you might say that.’ He puffed out his cheeks and then met Sam’s eyes in rueful resignation. ‘I think I knew the first time I saw you two together, to be honest.’
‘Knew what?’ Sam said warily.
Joss opened his mouth and closed it again. He was silent for several long seconds, then pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the door. ‘I’ll let you work it out for yourself.’
‘Where are you going?’ Sam called in bewilderment.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Joss said, tilting his head. ‘But try opening your eyes to see what’s really in front of you, Sam.’
For a moment, Sam lay against the pillows, struggling with a burst of intense irritation at Joss’s enigmatic comments. What did he mean, try opening her eyes? Obviously, they were already open. But then her gaze was drawn to their daughter, so small and perfect, and her annoyance drained away until she couldn’t feel anything but love. She slid out of bed and reached out a hand to touch the pink clenched fingers with their minuscule fingernails. Had this little person really been safely cocooned inside her less than twenty-four hours ago? It didn’t seem possible.
‘She’s beautiful,’ Gabe said from the doorway, and Sam didn’t need to turn around to know he was smiling.
‘I can’t arg
ue with that,’ Sam said.
‘Just like her mother.’
Now Sam did turn to look at him, suddenly aware of her matted hair and crumpled hospital gown. At least they’d given her another to wear like a dressing gown, so she wasn’t flashing bare skin to the world. ‘I’m pretty sure I’ve never looked worse.’
Gabe’s dark-eyed gaze was level. ‘Not to me.’
‘Spoken like a true friend,’ she said dryly.
He watched her in silence for a moment. ‘I will always be your friend, Sam. Even though I wish—’ His eyes slid away as he stopped talking.
‘You wish what?’ Sam asked as her heart started to thud.
‘Forget it,’ he replied, glancing at the cot with an expression that was both longing and sad. ‘I am a fool.’
And then Sam thought she understood. ‘It was kind of you to go and get Joss.’
Gabe shrugged, staring at the floor. ‘It was the decent thing to do. I knew he must be beside himself with worry – I would have been, in his place.’
Sam took a small step towards him. ‘He told me he thinks you’re a good man.’
‘Really?’ He looked up briefly and she saw his mouth was twisted into a sardonic smile. ‘Then he doesn’t know me at all.’
‘But I do,’ Sam said, closing the distance between them a little more. ‘I know you pretty well, Gabriel Santiago, and I think you’re a very good man. The kind who makes me breakfast every day, who tells me off for not resting enough and catches spiders from the ceiling in my room.’
He shook his head dismissively and seemed to be marshalling an argument. Sam wasn’t going to give him the chance; this time, she would say what was on her mind.
She kept walking until she was standing right in front of him. ‘You’re the sort of man who feeds stray dogs and investigates liars and comforts a pregnant woman when she’s scared in the night, even though her feet are like blocks of ice and she can’t stay still.’
A ghost of a smile crossed his face then.
She took his hand and waited until he looked into her eyes. ‘The type of man I’ve thought about kissing every day that I’ve known him, but didn’t because I thought maybe it would make life too complicated for both of us.’
‘Sam—’
She touched one finger to his lips to silence him. ‘But someone told me today that I should open my eyes and see what was in front of me. And what I see is you.’
Gabe tilted his head to stare at her, almost as though he wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. ‘But—’
Sam took a deep breath and ploughed on. ‘I love you, Gabe. And I know things are stupidly complicated, but I’m pretty sure we can work things out . . . if you love me too.’
‘If I love you too,’ he echoed slowly and took a long deep breath. ‘Dios mío, Sam, you must know I have loved you from the first moment we met.’
The room seemed to spin for a moment. Sam pressed her feet hard against the ground and focused on staying present as a gasp escaped her. ‘How could I know?’
Gabe took her hands in his. ‘I tried to show you each day – I tried to take care of you. But then I realised you were still in love with Joss, and him with you, and I didn’t want to stand in your way.’
‘But I’m not in love with Joss,’ she said, the words tumbling over each other in her hurry to make him understand. ‘He doesn’t love me either, at least not the way you mean. In fact, it was Joss who made me see what I really wanted – you, Gabe. It’s been you all this time.’
He didn’t speak for a moment, then let out a sigh that made Sam’s heart flutter. ‘We are both fools, then.’
‘Agreed,’ Sam said. ‘Can we stop being foolish now, though? Please?’
Gabe smiled. ‘It is definitely time.’
Pulling her gently towards him, he lowered his face to hers and brushed her lips with his. Sam lifted her hand to touch his cheek and he responded by kissing her with such tender passion that she felt something soften and melt inside. Closing her eyes, she gave in, hardly caring that anyone walking past could see them. And then an indignant wail split the air. Sam and Gabe sprang apart, turning as one to stare at the cot, where Frances had started to wriggle.
‘I suppose I should get used to this,’ Sam said, leaving the warmth of Gabe’s embrace with some reluctance.
‘You should,’ he agreed.
A shiver passed over Sam as the magnitude of what she was asking of him hit home for the first time. Joss had made it sound so simple; open her eyes and see what was in front of her. And Gabe had responded in a way she’d never allowed herself to dream he would, but she wasn’t asking him to love just her; she and Frances came as a package now and she’d never be truly free to give all of herself to him the way he might want her to. Could she expect him to love another man’s child? Would Joss allow him to?
Something of the sudden onslaught of worry must have shown in her face because Gabe tilted her chin up towards him and smiled deep into her eyes. ‘But it’s okay. I’m going to be right there beside you. We’ll get used to it together.’
And Sam burst into tears of relief and happiness at the thought.
Epilogue
It was August Bank Holiday Monday. The sun was sinking below the horizon, sending tendrils of red and gold winding through the cherry blossom clouds. Sam and Nessie sat on a picnic blanket that was spread on the dry yellowing grass of the village green and watched as the last few sunbeams danced across the sky. Beside them, baby Frances, now firmly nicknamed Franny, gurgled in her basket and, at the far end of the green, Nessie could just about make out Luke, playing with his friends, Bucky bounding along at their heels.
‘Happy?’ Nessie asked Sam.
‘Half-dead from exhaustion,’ Sam replied instantly. But then a smile tugged at her mouth and creased the corners of her eyes. ‘But yeah, I’m happy. Are you?’
Nessie reached across to brush the back of her hand against her niece’s plump downy cheek. ‘Of course. I’ve got everything I want.’
The movement caused the diamond and emerald ring on her wedding finger to flash.
‘Almost everything,’ Sam corrected. ‘You and Owen still need to set the date. I know I told you to wait until I no longer looked like a beached whale, but there’s such a thing as too long an engagement, you know.’
Nessie hesitated. Should she tell Sam now? Was this the right time? But if the last year had taught her anything, it was that there was never a right time for news like this.
‘It might be a slightly longer engagement than anyone expected,’ she said slowly. ‘Around nine months longer, in fact.’
Sam’s head whipped around to stare at her in bewilderment, then a delighted smile wreathed her face. ‘You mean—’
Nessie’s eyes prickled with tears. ‘Yes, Sam. Franny’s going to have a little cousin. Owen and I had our twelve-week scan on Friday. Everything is fine.’
Sam threw her arms around her and pulled her into a hug. ‘Oh my god, I am so thrilled for you, Ness!’ She drew back and Nessie saw she was crying too. ‘This is such amazing news!’
‘You’re the first person I’ve told,’ Nessie whispered. ‘And I know it’s going to be hard, with two babies instead of one to look after. But we’ll find a way to make it work.’
‘We will,’ Sam told her fiercely. ‘It’s going to be a dream come true for Joss – he’ll finally be the one in charge. It’s a good thing he and Gabe are practically best friends now – imagine if they hated each other!’
Nessie laughed. ‘It’s a shame we can’t make it a double wedding,’ she teased. ‘Joss could be best man for both grooms.’
‘One step at a time,’ Sam said, rolling her eyes in exaggerated derision. ‘Gabe and I aren’t even sharing a room yet.’
‘Okay, maybe not a double wedding, then,’ Nessie conceded. ‘But you’ll still be my matron of honour, though, when Owen and I finally make it down the aisle?’
‘Of course – I’m planning a Carry On hen do, remember?’ Sam grinne
d, as Franny waved her legs in the air. ‘And you’ll have a ready-made flower girl on the day itself – she might even be walking by then.’
Nessie leaned into her and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Thanks, Sam. I’m so lucky to have you for a sister.’
Sam’s eyes glistened in the fading sunlight. ‘Same. But you’re more than just my sister,’ she murmured, resting her head against Nessie’s. ‘You’re my best friend.’
A swell of contentment washed over Nessie as she hugged Sam. ‘Best friends,’ she agreed, smiling as the sun set over the Star and Sixpence. ‘Always.’
Acknowledgements
The first drink of any round must always go to Jo Williamson at Antony Harwood Ltd, whose limitless encouragement, support and patience enables me to do what I do. As always, I couldn’t write a word without knowing you have my back – thank you so much. Lunch soon, yes?
My editorial thanks are split between the ever-wonderful Emma Capron (still not over you leaving me, although I am sure you are sleeping better) and equally fabulous Bec Farrell, who between them have nursed this book into being. Thank you to Jade Craddock and Elizabeth Dobson for correcting my mistakes. And, of course, eternal thanks to the whole team at Simon and Schuster UK for allowing me to return to my very favourite pub.
Some might say that a writer is only as good as her (drinking) friends and I am uncommonly blessed in mine: Cally Taylor, Julie Cohen, Kate Harrison, Miranda Dickinson and Rowan Coleman, I can only aspire to your genius. Please stay with me forever.
Special thanks to literal life-saver Charlotte Dennis, who is always ready to help when I need medical advice; please continue to take my calls and save everyone, Charlotte.
As always, love, thanks and big squishy hugs to T and E for giving me a reason to work hard.
And last of all, thank you to everyone who reads my books. I know you love the Star and Sixpence as much as I do – see you at the bar!
Holly Hepburn is the much-loved author of commercial women’s fiction. She lives near London with her grey tabby cat, Portia. They both have an unhealthy obsession with Marmite. Follow Holly on Twitter @HollyH_Author.
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