“January 14th 1843” she read, and she picked up her dinner to eat as she continued to lose herself in the pages she knew so well.
“We had been on board of the Elisabeth II for only three short days when I met, and instantly became enraptured with Lord Ewan. It didn’t take me long to discover that the feeling was mutual. Flirtations were not something that I was accustomed to, but that night fleeting smiles and peals of laughter were easy to come by. Lord Ewan was such a handsome, gallant man with broad shoulders and amazing eyes. He was upper class as I never had been, at least not that I could remember. My father had had money, but I had not known that fact until it was too late. I had grown up in the cellar as a servant girl, and had only witnessed the finer side of life through my aunt and her daughters. I had watched my cousins as they had paraded around the manor in beautiful gowns, had dined with upper-class guests, had danced at cotillions and balls with grace and gaiety. I had watched these things from the sidelines in envy. I knew nothing of etiquette, though Gina had tried to teach me over the last few nights. She told me that etiquette and fine manners, knowing of which fork to use first at dinner would be of great help to me in the years to come. She encouraged me to learn all that I could of every subject imaginable, to use my growing years wisely, and educate myself. I had nothing but time after all, she said. I was eager to learn all.
“Lord Ewan did not seem to notice, or to mind that I was not up to snuff in the etiquette department. His eyes shined brightly when he looked upon me as if I were a rare jewel, and I could not help the pleasure that brought me. His smiles were like gifts from the gods. I wanted him. From the first moment I met him, I wanted him.
“After a fine night of conversation in the ship’s dining hall, Lord Ewan escorted Gina and I back to our room. We were traveling under the ruse of cousins heading for an adventure with more cousins in America. I did not notice that all through dinner, Gina had appeared uncomfortable.
“It wasn’t until we were back behind the doors of our room, that she grabbed me by the arm and squeezed tight. “Stay away from that man, Lillian!” She warned through gritted teeth.
““But why?” I had asked, not understanding, and more than a little disappointed that she would order me to do so.
““Because he isn’t a man at all.” Gina had warned. “He is one of us, but he is not a good man, Lillian. I have dealt with his kind before.”
““His kind? You mean our kind? He is a vampire?” It was indeed frightening to discover, for Ewan had looked very much human, and had had kind, beautiful eyes.
““Yes, but not like us. I warn you, stay away from him.” Gina hissed, and she turned to undress for the evening.
“My thoughts swam with thoughts of Lord Ewan. I could not help myself it seemed, and I could only hope that Gina was not tuning into those betraying thoughts. I could see his handsome face in my mind’s eye. My stomach tightened at the thought of his beaming smile of his eyes a light upon me. I could not wait to see him again, despite what Gina had warned. I wanted to see Lord Ewan again more than anything. As young as I was, I had not yet had much experience with men. Gail and I had read romance novels that delved into the fanciful world of finding love, and we had gushed and cooed about finding love for ourselves some day. Gail would never have that chance now, I thought sadly, but perhaps, I still could!
“Over the next week, Gina did her best to avoid Lord Ewan and his gentlemen friends, but one evening when Gina and I were walking on deck, two handsome men stepped before us to block our path. Gina’s back stiffened, and she stepped in front of me, backing us away from these men as if they frightened her. It took me a moment to realize that these men were friends of Lord Ewan’s. I had seen Lord Ewan not thirty minutes before in the dining hall. We had not spoken, but just being near the man did things to me that I could not explain. All I knew was that I wanted him, more than anything, even that I would defy Gina to have him if I had to.
““Are you going somewhere, Gina?” The man with the shock of white blonde hair smiled broadly.
““As far away from the likes of you and your kind as I can get.” Gina returned, and she continued to back me away from the men.
““My kind? Don’t you mean our kind?” The man’s bright blue eyes lit with amusement.
““We are not the same!” Gina hissed, and she turned only to come up short at the sight of Lord Ewan standing there in his evening attire looking as handsome as sin. I sucked in my breath though I did not need to. I couldn’t seem to help it.
““Good evening, Ladies.” Lord Ewan bowed before us, and he smiled especially to me. If my heart could find a beat I knew that it would be beating out of my chest in that moment. I smiled shyly in return as Lord Ewan’s gaze left mine, and met Gina’s.
““What do you want?” she asked crossly, and I squeezed the hand she had placed in mine to guide me away from them. She didn’t have to be so rude, I thought. These men were our kind! They were vampires like Gina, like me!
““To talk.” Lord Ewan said, and he held out his hand for Gina or myself. Which, I wasn’t sure. Gina shrank back, and collided with the men behind us. We were trapped. I could tell that Gina was upset over the matter, but I was overjoyed. I wanted to be trapped. I wanted to be caught. This man, this so handsome man with the amazing eyes, with the exceptional manners and the full, tempting lips wanted me. I could read it in his eyes, and I wondered if I was as transparent in my desire for him?
““There is nothing to say. Leave us be!” Gina roared, and she barreled through Lord Ewan. But as we passed, Lord Ewan grabbed my elbow in a soft hold that halted me all the same. I looked back over my shoulder at him, and he nodded as his eyes bore into mine. I knew then that I had to see him again. I had to get past Gina somehow so that I might be with him.
“Gina was in a rage when we made it back to our room.
““You desire him!” She accused hotly, and I lowered my chin guiltily. I did not want to lie to her, but she had warned me to stay away from the man.
““Foolish girl! Don’t you see? It is his power! He’s using it against you, to draw you in!” she rushed forward in a gush of wind, and she grabbed me by my upper arms, squeezing so hard that the bones felt as if they may snap. “You are young, so young and naïve, but I beg you, Lillian, do not allow him to do this to you!”
““To do what?” I asked meekly, and Gina shook me before setting me away from her. “He will use you, and he will spit you out when he is done, that is if he doesn’t dispose of you first!”
““How do you know this?” I demanded, suddenly angry because she was speaking of the man I had fantasized about spending the rest of my nights with! It would work after all. He was a vampire and so was I. It was meant to be, I had convinced myself!
““Silly girl!” Gina scoffed. “Meant to be?” she laughed out, having read my mind. I felt suddenly violated, and I lashed out at her.
““I am not yet as cold nor as unfeeling as you, my Dark Mother.” I hissed. “I still have emotions running through my veins. I still have a heart, and though it can no longer beat I can feel. How long has it been since you have felt anything, anything at all?”
“Gina’s eyes flashed white, and I shrank back a moment in alarm, but then she stormed from the room so quickly that it was difficult even for my vampire eyes to witness her exit. I stood there a moment as guilt sank deep into my belly. Gina had saved my life in more ways than one. She had taken care of me when no one else had wanted to. Had I just betrayed her? But then suddenly, it occurred to me; I was free!
“The breeze was cold against my skin, like ice on the wind. I walked the candle-lit deck in search of the man I had come to think I could not live without after seven nights of longing for his touch. It didn’t take me long to find Lord Ewan, or rather he found me.
“Standing at the railing, I peered out at the dark waters as the moon cast its eerie light along the rippling waves. I was lost in my thoughts, worrying over Gina, but still longing to s
ee Lord Ewan when suddenly a pair of strong arms encircled my waist from behind. His pale hands came together against the pale blue of my gown, against the tightening muscles in my stomach. I knew who it was that held me, and I leaned back into a hard chest and surrendered. When his lips came to tenderly graze the flesh of my neck, it felt natural as if it were indeed meant to be. The kiss was gentle, soft and traveled up my neck to my earlobe.
““You are so beautiful, sweet Lillian.” his voice was husky against my ear, and I shuddered. I didn’t know what to say or to do, but to cling to the strength of his arms, to lean into him, to long for his touch, for his kiss. I closed my eyes, and he pulled me back tighter against him. “Has your mind already been poisoned against me?” he asked in concern.
““Never!” I vowed. My eyes springing open, I turned to face him only to find him smiling down at me. Gently, his hand lifted to trace my cheek. His fingertips traveled across my lips, pressing inward, and all I could think was that I wanted desperately to belong to this man forever.
““So sweet.” He said seductively, and he leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to my cheek. “So innocent.” He kissed the other cheek, and it was all I could do to remain standing as his hold tightened around me. “I have wanted you, sweet Lillian, since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I thought I saw in your eyes that perhaps the feeling was mutual?” he asked, and I nodded vigorously as I threw my arms around him.
““She said that it was trick, Lord Ewan. She said I was a silly girl.” I all but cried, and Lord Ewan shushed me as he lifted his hands to tangle in my hair.
““Does it feel like a trick to you?” he kissed the tip of my nose, and I could but stare wantonly at his lips. I had never felt like this before, as if I wanted to jump out of my skin and crawl within his chest so that we might be one! It was exciting. It was overwhelming, and yet I longed for more!
““No.” I whispered, shaking my head. “It feels right.” I stared at his mouth, wishing desperately that he would provide me with my first kiss. I had dreamt of this moment since I was a little girl. I had waited patiently for him to come along, and now, there he stood, handsome, suave, with beautiful eyes alight with promises of things I longed to experience and discover. He was saying such wonderful things, things I had longed to hear my entire childhood, and more. He had called me beautiful. I had never felt beautiful a day in my life, yet I could see it shining in his beautiful eyes. He really, honestly, thought that I was beautiful!
““Your cousin wouldn’t like knowing that you are out here with me like this.” he warned, touching his knuckles to my face.
“I don’t care.” I surrendered, and he leaned down, his lips brushing mine. My knees weakened, and he chuckled in amusement, pulling me against him, and holding me there as his mouth devoured mine. It was urgent madness. He found it amusing how much I wanted him, and he would laugh or smile and give in to me, kissing me and holding me like I had never been held before.
““You are mine, Sweet Lillian, all mine.” He swore. He was suddenly very serious as he pulled back and his eyes bore into mine.
““Yes!” I cried out in total agreement, and I threw myself in his arms once more, kissing him, wanting him so desperately that I thought I may perish with the need.
“For three nights, Lord Ewan and I could not be far from each other. We walked the decks after Gina and I were through for the evenings. On board ship, Gina and I would hunt out large rats below deck to satisfy the demons within us. We dare not devour a mortal in fear of being discovered in such tight quarters. The hunger inside of me was not appeased, but being with Lord Ewan, or simply Ewan as I was beginning to think of him, made the hunger seem unimportant and insignificant.
“Gina knew that I was seeing Ewan, yet she didn’t again utter a word of caution. Instead, after the hunt each night, she would go her way, and I would go mine. Of course, my way always led me to Ewan where we would talk and laugh, and cuddle together until the coming sunrise would force our separation, and he would return to his quarters and myself to mine and Gina’s.
“On the fourth night, I rose with an intent in my heart. I was going to tell Gina that when the ship docked in America I would be leaving with Ewan, but somehow, she already knew.
““It is a mistake, the biggest mistake you will ever make.” she warned with a bowed head.
““You still believe that he is tricking me?” I accused, and her blue eyes lifted. She appeared so sad as she stood, and shook her dark head in regret, but it only angered me. “You don’t know him! Not like I do!” I swore.
““Do you forget my power, Silly girl! I can read his mind!” Gina swore suddenly, but I would no longer listen. Turning, I swept from the room. I hunted the rats alone that night, and then I went to find Ewan. Coming toward his cabin that night, I wondered if he had yet risen. Would he invite me inside? Would I surrender heart and soul to all that he offered? Thinking that I was in love, I went there with every intention of giving myself to Ewan in every way, but a sudden shriek of terror lit the hall, and I stopped in my tracks. What was that, I wondered as I continued once again down the hall, only to once again stop suddenly at the shrill sound of a tormented scream.
“Ewan’s cabin was at the end of the hall. The door was closed, but when I touched the handle, I felt that it was unlocked. When the next scream came from within, I feared that something was happening to Ewan! Had the mortals discovered the truth, the rats’ corpses below? Did they know what we were? Were they in there now torturing my love? Without thought for my own immortality, I shoved the door open wide. Instantly, my gaze shot to the center of the room where to my utter shock Ewan and two of his friends stood. They were shirtless, and blood oozed from their mouths and sharpened nails. On the floor before them set a cabin boy that I had seen upon more than one occasion aboard ship. His dark eyes were wet saucers when they found me standing there. Bloody fang marks riddled the boy’s naked, upper chest and neck. I watched as a blood trail seeped into his dark slacks.
“And then he cried out, reaching for me. “Help me, My lady! Save me!”
“The laughter that ensued afterward was hideous and cruel. I watched as Ewan stepped back from the other two men, and staring at me with white eyes, he turned and sent the back of his hand flying across the white-haired one’s cheek. The man fell to his knees next to the boy. “How dare you bring this child here to my cabin of all places!” Ewan shouted in outrage, and the boy on the floor began to cry in earnest.
““Please, Ma’am. Please.” his arms lifted toward me as if I could save him from the horrible scene I had walked in upon. I wanted to do just that, but the smell of the blood was to be my demise. Without permission my eyes began to fade to an unnatural white, and take on a glow of their own. The child cried out in horror, and I did my best to shush him.
““I mean you no harm, boy.” I swore, meaning every word of it. I knew that I would die rather than harm the child. I also knew that Ewan was as much a part of the brutal torture of the child as the other two vampires in the room had been. It opened my eyes to him, and suddenly it was as if the last week and a half had only been a dream, a mere fantasy that had burst the moment I had walked into this room of horror.
““Get him out of here, you fool!” Ewan was shouting at his man, but I shook my head, and stood to block the doorway.
““They will kill him!” I swore violently, and my eyes lifted to meet Ewan’s demon gaze. Yes, a demon. That was exactly what Lord Ewan was! “As you meant to.” I hissed.
““You don’t mean that, Love.” Ewan came toward me, his palms up as if in surrender. “You don’t honestly believe that I would harm a child. I found them here like this. I meant only to save the boy!”
““And the blood on your lips testifies to that!” I roared in outrage and disgust. “Come with me, boy. I will not allow them to harm you a moment longer!” I swore, but my eyes were aglow, and the child was frightened. I had not fed on anything but the rats in such a long time, but I t
rusted myself not to harm the child. Now, if only the child would trust me as well. I felt when my fangs cut through my bottom lip, I tasted the blood in my mouth and I looked sharply away.
““Lillian, if you would but listen to me, I could explain.” I felt Ewan’s hands on my arms suddenly, and I threw them off of me in utter disgust and contempt!
““Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again! You’re demon, a monster! Gina was right about you. She warned me, but I wouldn’t listen. I was so enraptured by you. It was so overwhelming. I should have known! I should have known all along! Gina was right! It was your power all along that pulled me to you, and not anything that I actually felt, not anything that was real!” I screeched.
““Don’t say that.” Ewan closed his eyes as if I had hurt him physically.
““But it’s true.” I pressed, wanting to suddenly hurt him more if I could. “I loathe you. I despise you.”
““You love me!” Ewan shouted in furious outrage, and he hit his chest hard. I could not help but to laugh at his shouted statement, because suddenly I knew that it was the furthest thing from the truth!
““You?” I looked him up and down, and found what I saw standing there suddenly lacking and inadequate. I shook my head with disgust. “You are nothing more than a dirty, child-killer, a bully!” I spat out, and he rushed me, grabbing me so hard by the arms that I seemed to fly back into the door, and it slammed shut. My back connected hard with the thick oak of the door, and I winced in pain, but my glare only intensified.
““Let the boy go!” I snapped fitfully, and Ewan grinned madly. For a moment, I thought that he wouldn’t listen to me, but then he nodded to the men behind him, and the white-haired one picked up the boy. I screamed, realizing what was about to take place, and knowing that I could not stop it. I fought, but Ewan was much stronger than I. He held me there, firmly planted against the door as the two others devoured and killed the boy. Tears poured from my eyes. I hit at Ewan’s chest, his arms, his face to no avail, and then the cruel laughter filled the room once more. I watched in horror as Ewan moved me away from the door with ease, and the two carried the lifeless body of the boy from the room. The child was dead! I had not been able to save him! I could still hear his small voice begging in desperation, “Save me!”
The Power Page 14