by ANDREA SMITH
“Gina, there's no need for you to apologize or to be upset,” I told her. “This is my problem. I’m handling it.”
“No, Ty, I don’t think that you are. Look at you,” she choked, tears running down her cheeks.
“Well, excuse me,” I said annoyed, “but I’ve spent the better part of the day with horses and working in the barn, not to mention sprinting across the pasture after I discovered my husband kissing his junior partner in my house. I’m fucking sorry that I didn’t take the time to fix my hair and reapply my make-up before making my visit here.”
“God damn it, Tylar, that's not what I’m talking about and you fucking know it! You're skin and bones. My God! Your eyes take up half of your face with the dark circles going on underneath them. You lost a child, girlfriend. That has to hurt.”
“How could I have lost a child I never really had, Gina? It was more like a miscarriage. It happens.”
“You know better than that, Tylar. It was not a miscarriage and you damn well know it. That baby died in your womb. It wasn’t your fault, but you need to face the facts here. Something terrible and entirely without reason happened to your baby. Tell me you didn’t love Preston before she was born? Before she could have even survived if she'd been born early?”
“Stop it Gina; stop it right now! I won't listen to this. It happened. It’s over and done with and right now I don’t want to think about it. If you're truly my friend, you'll get off of the subject and do it now. Do you understand?”
She looked at me and her expression was a mixture of fear and pity. I wasn't comfortable with either.
“Have it your way, Ty. Eventually you'll have to deal with it and the longer it takes the worse it's going to be.”
“Can I use your charger for my cell?” I asked changing the subject. “My dad's going to be phoning me back.”
“Sure,” she said getting up off of the couch to get her charger.
I plugged it into the wall and immediately I got some beeps that I had text messages. I looked at the screen. They were from Trey.
“We need to talk. Where are you?”
That was followed by another one six minutes later.
“Tylar I love you - please talk to me.”
The last one had been sent about three minutes ago.
“Please talk to me baby. I want to explain.”
Yeah, right. What was there to explain? Trey had gone through a tough six-and-a-half months with me. Between the nausea and my tiredness and lack of sexual interest he'd suffered the effects. I now knew how he rolled. That was that.
“When will Tristan be home?” I suddenly thought to ask.
“He's closing tonight so it will be late. Why?”
“You can’t tell him I was here. He'll tell Trey.”
“Don’t you think Trey probably knows where you’ve gone? I’m surprised he hasn’t called or shown up here by now.”
As if on cue, her cell chimed.
“Holy shit; speak of the devil.”
“Gina,” I hissed, “you can’t let him know that I'm here. Even if you say I’m not here, he'll hear the hostility in your voice. Please, do this for me?”
She rolled her eyes as she answered his call.
“Hey Trey,” she greeted congenially. “What’s up?”
(Pause)
“What? Whoa - wait a minute; slow down. I’m not making heads or tails of what you’re saying.”
Gina's good. That's why she's my BFF.
“No, I haven’t seen her. I hate to admit this but I actually haven’t seen her since Marley’s graveside service. What the hell's going on?”
I watched as Gina let him bury himself.
“What are you saying? Why did she leave upset?”
(Pause)
“What kind of a misunderstanding?”
She paused and looked over at me rolling her eyes.
“No, that’s okay – if you don’t feel like going into the details now, I understand. If she calls or comes by, I'll let her know that you’re desperate to speak with her.”
Gina ended the call and turned to me.
“Trey's desperate to speak with you,” she said flatly. “There, I did what I said I'd do. Would you like a glass of wine?”
Thanks," I said relaxing back against the cushions on the sofa. “That sounds great.”
I drank three glasses of wine, enjoying the relaxing, numbing feeling that was sinking in. I stretched out on the sofa and drifted off to sleep while Gina went to the kitchen to make dinner for us. I wasn’t really hungry. Gina insisted I was going to eat to get some meant back on my bones.
Gina roused me from my nap a little while later. My dad was on the phone. He'd made all of my flight arrangements for tomorrow afternoon. He said he would be at the airport to pick me up. He asked me to try and calm down.
Fat chance!
I assured him that I would.
Gina made pasta salad so we sat down and ate in silence. I poured myself another glass of wine as I wolfed down the food. It was amazingly good. Gina had developed some domesticity along the way it appeared.
“You need to let Trey know where you are and where you’re going. It’s the right thing to do. Plus, what are you going to do about Preston? It’s one thing to desert him, but you don’t want it to look like you've deserted your daughter just in case . . ."
“In case what?”
“Well, to be honest, in case you decide to divorce him. That’s all I’m saying. I mean you don’t want him using Preston as a weapon against you, right?”
“I can’t think about any of that right now. My head's spinning. I'll call him though. You’re right about that. I’ll let him know I just got here and am spending the night. It's okay if I stay here tonight?”
“Absolutely, you don’t even need to ask that question.”
“I don’t have my clothes or anything though.”
“Do you want me to ask Trey to bring some to you?”
“No! I can’t look at him right now. Will you go and get some from the house tomorrow? I can watch Reese for you.”
“You got it,” she said smiling. “Everything is going to be okay, Ty.”
I wasn’t sure of that at all. I'd felt disconnected from Trey for the last couple of months. I'd blamed that on my pregnancy and then the subsequent loss of the baby. Maybe it was more than that.
He'd obviously been fascinated with the new junior partner in the firm. He'd explained it away as taking her under his wing because she was younger than the other partners. The bottom line was that he'd spent more and more time at the office and worked less and less at home.
I wondered what might have happened if Trey hadn't spotted me at the window this afternoon. Maybe Amber would've continued her seductive quest with my husband.
Perhaps he would've succumbed to her charms. He certainly hadn’t been getting his needs met at home the past couple of months. He'd reminded me of that fairly often. We hadn’t made love since I'd lost the baby. He hadn’t even made overtures when my six weeks had been up two weeks ago.
I finished my wine still lost in thought. Gina had left the kitchen to take care of Reese who had awakened from his nap. It brought pain to see a baby right now. I hadn’t even objected when Susan had offered to take Preston for a couple of weeks. Trey had looked at me curiously. He was surprised when I didn’t hesitate in accepting her offer.
My phone was done charging. I picked it up hitting Trey’s name. He picked up immediately.
“Tylar,” he breathed, “where are you?”
“I stopped by Gina’s. She told me you called here looking for me.”
“Baby, I’ve been going crazy trying to get in touch with you. I need to explain. I need to let you know what happened.”
“Trey,” I interrupted, “I was there, remember? I know exactly what happened. There's no plausible explanation for you to give me about what happened. It’s been a long time coming I think.”
“What are you talking about? How can you possibly s
ay that to me?”
“Because it’s the truth; because it's my style to speak the truth.”
“And what exactly is the truth?”
“You hit it off with Amber. In some ways, she's a female version of you. She's beautiful, smart, talented, and has a passion for the law - the same as you do. We have little in common. I hate to point this out, but it’s obvious our connection has been a sexual one. That doesn’t necessarily make for a successful long-term relationship.”
“How in the hell can you say that to me?”
He was livid. I wasn’t sure why. It all made perfect sense to me. Our relationship was built on a house of cards. I thought back to its inception: a near death experience for me; a handsome rescuer who found me ‘intriguing’ at the moment.
A lot had transpired for both of us since then. Perhaps he no longer found me a mystery to be solved. Maybe I'd been a pleasurable diversion from his very orderly, professional, career- oriented life.
“Amber's the type of woman you're supposed to end up with Trey. Not someone like me. This has all been a diversion from reality for both of us. I’ve made arrangements to spend some time with my father. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“No, Tylar. You're not running from this. We're going to work this out dammit!”
“I’m sorry, Trey. You’re not getting your way this time. I'll be in touch once Preston returns from your parents’ house. We need to work something out with respect to her. I need this time for me. I need to heal.”
I pressed the "end" button before he'd a chance to respond. This was non-negotiable. I fell asleep on the sofa exhausted. I heard Tristan come in late. Gina was waiting for him in the kitchen. I could tell that she was filling him in on what happened.
I heard him raise his voice; I think I heard him refer to Trey as a spoiled, self-righteous son-of-a-bitch. Gina instructed him to stay out of it. If I knew Tristan he'd be giving Trey his two cents’ worth very shortly.
Tristan drove me to the airport the following afternoon. Gina was busy with Reese so he suggested it. Gina had gone back to our house and packed my suitcase along with Preston’s clothes while Trey was at work. She'd brought my phone charger and iPad with her.
She'd told me that Jean was beside herself trying to figure out why I hadn’t been home all night. She commented that she'd heard Trey up most of the night pacing his floor and on his phone.
Gina said she didn’t feel it was her place to put our personal stuff out there to Jean. She simply explained that I needed to spend some time with my father.
“Well, certainly,” Jean had responded. “The poor thing has been through quite a bit. It's been a strain on them both. I can see that.”
My thoughts were interrupted when Tristan finally broke the silence in the car.
“Tylar, once again I find the need to apologize to you for my brother’s behavior.”
I looked over at his handsome face; a slightly older version of Trey’s face, yet there was something different. Tristan’s face held a look of compassion that I hadn’t seen before in Trey’s face, at least not that I could recall.
“Tristan,” I replied softly, “it isn't your place to apologize for Trey. Besides, I'm partially to blame for this.”
“How do you figure?”
“Well, my pregnancy was pretty rough on Trey,” I explained. “I wasn’t able to accommodate him like before.”
I could feel myself blush profusely. I could feel the penetrating look Tristan was giving me. He pulled his car over to the side of the road and shut off the ignition. I reluctantly looked over at him. His emerald green eyes were watching me trying to comprehend my response.
“For Chrissake, you aren't justifying Trey’s behavior in some way, are you? Your pregnancy was rough on you, sweetheart. You were tired and ill. I was around too, you know? If that son-of-a bitch couldn’t go without it for a few months without striking up some flirtatious fantasy with a female colleague to assuage his inflated ego, then he should've come to big brother for advice.”
Tristan was on a roll. It was plain to see he was furious with Trey.
“What advice would you have given him, Tristan?”
“I would've told him to spend some time with ‘Rosy Palm’ and her five ugly sisters in the privacy of his shower!”
I started to giggle when he said that. Only Tristan could phrase it like that. I could picture him telling Trey that, too. I looked back over at him and he was smiling now.
“I appreciate your support on this but I don’t want it interfering with your relationship with Trey, okay?”
“Too late for that,” he said, starting the car back up and pulling out into traffic.
“Besides, it’s not as if Trey cheated sexually on me; it was the emotional part; the kiss, that crushed me. It sent a signal about our lack of intimacy. It has made me question as to whether we're really suited for one another.”
“Sweetie, for right now please try to not ‘over-think’ any of this, okay? You need this time away from him to reflect and heal. Don’t come to hasty conclusions.”
“Okay. You’re right. Thanks for being you.”
CHAPTER 5
My father was waiting for me at the baggage claim carousels when I arrived. I immediately flew into his arms. He held me close to him, talking soothingly to me. It was the first time that I knew how it felt to me consoled by a parent. I liked the feeling of safeness that it gave me.
We talked on the way back to his estate. I was taken aback when he told me that he'd called Trey.
“You didn’t threaten to punch him out or anything did you, Dad?”
Secretly, I was hoping that's exactly what he'd done. That would be such a "father" thing to do it seemed.
“No ,Tylar, I simply told him I felt it was appropriate under the circumstances for you to spend some time here to rest, relax and gain some perspective on the situation.”
Hmmm - sounds like my father's trying to diffuse the situation. Does he think I over-reacted?
“What did Trey say?”
“He concurred. He genuinely wants you to feel better; he wanted me to convey to you that he will take care of Preston until you’re ready to come back. He wants you to focus on feeling better physically and emotionally. He said you're to pamper yourself.”
Pamper myself? What does Trey think this is a weekend at the spa?
“You know, Dad, I think Trey's right. I could use some pampering. It sounds just like what the doctor ordered. Is Edie still at the house?”
“Yes, why?”
“Can I borrow her tomorrow to run some errands with me in the city?”
“Certainly. Any of the staff is at your disposal, daughter.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I smiled.
I liked Edie. She was only a year or so older than I was and we had clicked from the first time we met. She hated Ms. Deeny as much as I so we had one thing in common right from the get.
The next morning after my father left for court, I phoned a limo service in Baton Rouge. I told Edie the night before that she was at my disposal the following day. She'd laughed, saying it sounded like we were going to have some fun.
“You’re right about that, girlfriend,” I'd responded in ‘Gina style.’
We climbed into the limo at 10:00 a.m. and headed for a luxury day spa in Baton Rouge. Once there, I handed Edie one of the spa menus.
“Pick anything you want Edie, my treat,” I said.
“Oh, Tylar no,” she replied shaking her head. “I wouldn’t feel right about it. I work for the judge.”
“We aren’t spending the judge’s money. We’re spending my husband’s money which according to him is mine as well. So, have at it.”
“Well, alright then,” she giggled.
We both went for the sixty-minute hot stone massage, followed by the body scrub. I then selected a facial mask while Edie went with the massage moisture facial. We were then waxed, manicured and pedicured. We finished up with getting eyelash extensions. The total bill with ti
p: $1200.00.
I'm feeling better already!
Our next stop was an upscale hair salon called Jean- Claude’s. Edie was all for getting her highlights re-done. I was going for a totally new look altogether.
I perused through multiple magazines until I found the hair style I wanted. I then asked to see hair swatches so the colorist could match my color exactly to the one that I selected. No more blondish-brown highlights for me. I heard brunettes were having fun these days - with other women’s men.