“She gave up the FBI to get married?”
“There’s always a way around the rules, Ethan. That’s from Gabe your friend, not Gabe your boss. We could have both worked in the field together. There are loopholes. After all, it is the government. We decided to get married and have kids. Honestly, her going out in the field without me, scared the shit out of me. I have the safer job. I wasn’t out getting shot at anymore, but she was, and I couldn’t do it. I think she knew deep down that I wasn’t going to be able to handle it. The proposal came up, she left the FBI, and that’s how we got to this point,” he said, catching a foam ax one of his daughters whipped at Blackhawk. “We wanted to both come home alive at night for our kids and each other.”
“Logical.”
“Oh, she is,” he laughed at that, continuing, “For the record, she asked me to marry her, not the other way around. I jumped at it. Honestly, she’s the best thing in my life. I love my job, and my career, but Livy’s the other half of me. She keeps me stable and grounded. If she asked me to quit tomorrow, I would in a heartbeat to be with her.”
“Now this sounds like the beginning of a lecture.”
Gabe laughed, patting his agent on the back. “I’ll be straight forward. Did I know this would happen between you both? No. Am I glad? Yes. I personally think you’d be a terrific husband, once you yank that stick out of your ass, and stop being so damn uptight about everything.”
“Hey! I let her drive my car. I’ve never allowed any woman I’ve dated or slept with behind the wheel. Elizabeth’s the first, only and last. I just held on and prayed the entire time.”
“Funny, that’s how I feel about being married on most days.”
Blackhawk would love every second of that.
Gabe continued, “I’ve been her passenger, and I would’ve prayed too. You’re a brave soul.”
Blackhawk grinned.
“In your psych eval at the academy, you had a high tendency to lean towards the career aspect of life. It’s what makes you a damn fine agent, and a piss poor partner in personal endeavors. You need to learn to balance in both your career and personal life.”
“I’m learning,” he replied, opening up to his boss. “I brought her to my home to see if she’d fit there. She saw it, and said pretty much the same thing.”
“You won’t be able to bullshit her, Ethan. I’ll warn you right now. She’ll see right through the smoke and mirrors, and call you on it.”
“So I’ve noticed,” and he had. “I was afraid she’d hate my home and not be comfortable there with me.”
“Let me guess, all black leather and shiny furniture.”
Blackhawk stared in amazement. “Is it that obvious to everyone, but me, that I was creating this illusion?”
“To those that know you, yes.”
“I can’t be that readable.”
“You are, and it’s blatantly obvious that you hide behind your badge, because you’re afraid to have a commitment in your life. It’s also apparent that you're afraid to lose what you love because you have in your past. I didn’t think you’d come here tonight without a tie and a black dress shirt. I told Livy you’d be all stressed out and too worried about what I thought.”
Blackhawk would have, if it wasn’t for her.
“Stop hiding the man you are, Ethan. He’s a good guy, or she wouldn’t have you here. I protect my private life fiercely, and Lyzee knows that. If she didn’t think you could fit perfectly in her life, she wouldn’t have told you about her family. You certainly wouldn’t be standing here having dinner with us. Livy and I are all she has left, and she guards us as much as we guard her.”
He didn’t know what to say, but he knew it was true. From the start, she’d welcomed him easily. Like she just knew he’d fit. Deep down, it gave him hope that she could love him forever.
“I know about your past. I completely understand why you’re the man you are, but I’m telling you with her, you’ll be safe. Stop making yourself pay for what happened before today.”
“What should I do?” he asked his boss, valuing his opinion, especially after seeing how well he balanced professional and personal lives.
“Marry her and just say yes to whatever she wants, like every other smart man on the planet. A happy wife is a happy life.”
Both men laughed, and toasted each other with beers.
~ Chapter Twelve ~
Livy sat watching her from the kitchen stool. Her friend looked different. Elizabeth seemed lighter, and that made her happy. At one time, they were fierce rivals, fighting to be top of the class and disliking each other along the way. Once a random assignment made them roommates, they teamed up. Together they ended up taking the top two spots in the academy, beating out one hundred other people. Since that day, they loved each other like sisters.
“You’re staring,” Elizabeth pointed out.
“Tell me all about him,” she said, drinking her water and wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s gorgeous in that unusual, exotic sort of way!”
Elizabeth looked over her shoulder at Blackhawk, and when he laughed at something Gabe said, her heart skipped a beat. “What’s there to say? Your husband sent him to help, and since that day, I’ve been screwed royally.”
Livy snickered at the meaning behind her words. “You are a lucky girl.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she grinned, but it was pretty darn close.
“Seriously, is it the big ‘L’?”
Elizabeth nodded, sipping her wine. “I’d marry him tomorrow,” she answered seriously, looking outside to make sure he couldn’t hear her.
“You have it that bad, huh?”
“Oh my God, it’s worse!”
“What do you know about him, personally?”
“Ethan grew up on a reservation, and I know he bounced from foster home to foster home after his mom died. I know he has no ability to have a professional and a personal life at the same time,” she corrected, “I’m working on that presently. On the outside he looks serious and all business, but underneath the shirt he has over twenty tattoos across his very defined body. It’s sexy warrior tribal art.” Elizabeth fanned herself.
“Seriously?” She looked over at the man with her husband at the grill. She wouldn’t have ever guessed.
“He’s like two men crammed in one body. There’s serious FBI Ethan, and then sexy Ethan, who apparently can be wild and crazy when he wants to be.”
“Good heavens,” Livy giggled.
“I’m so completely in love with him.”
“Will you come back up north with Ethan after it’s all over, or is he staying with you in Salem?”
Elizabeth shrugged and finished her wine. “I don’t want to come back to the FBI; it was burning me out, and making me a shell of a human being. Death after death, killers, and kidnappers, it made me see the bad in everything. I like being in my little town with my job.”
“What about him?”
“I don’t know, but if I move back here, I won’t return to the FBI. I don’t know if I can,” she answered, and then realized she’d come back to just work with Blackhawk. That would be the only way she’d ever agree to it. “Do you miss it, Livy?”
“Sometimes I do. Don’t get me wrong, the kids are the best, and I like that Gabe has a desk job,” she said, honestly. “The stress of him getting killed was tough to swallow, but I miss the rush and using my mind.”
“Between you and me, I miss it too,” she added. Elizabeth watched him tuck a hair behind his ear and her heart fluttered.
“He’s very distracting, Lyzee. I find myself staring at him too,” laughed Livy. “Maybe it’s those cheekbones.”
“I think it’s the tan skin and the hair. It makes me nuts,” she commented openly to her best friend. “Then the eyes. I’m telling you, when the shirt comes off I’m transfixed by the tattoos. He has this giant raven across his chest, and all these other ones across his back. He reminds me of some Indian warrior coming back from battle. He’s primitive and sex
y as hell, and it makes me all hot and bothered.”
Livy nodded in agreement and added, “He’s very exotic looking, and I have to admit, really sexy. Let’s keep that our girl chit chat or Gabe will send him to Siberia.”
Both women laughed uproariously, knowing he absolutely would in a heartbeat. He was sadistic like that.
“Hey, what’s so funny, ladies?” inquired Gabe, suspiciously. He carried in the platter of cooked meats and eyed up both women.
“Nothing,” they both answered at the same time, and then began laughing even more.
Blackhawk followed and couldn’t help but watch her from the doorway. She was filled with peace, and he wished he could bottle it for tomorrow. When her eyes met his, he winked at her, and she immediately came to his side and into his arms. “I missed you,” he said, kissing her softly, missing how she felt against him.
“I missed you too, Cowboy. How was grilling with Gabe?”
“Both enlightening and terrifying at the same time.”
Elizabeth linked her hand with his and walked with him to the table. “I think it’s time for dinner. Then I want to give the kids the surprise I have in my purse.”
“What is it?” asked Livy, suspiciously.
“Oh, just some candy necklaces, bracelets and ring pops.”
“You wouldn’t,” she stared at her friend in horror. “Sugar, Elizabeth?”
She grinned and added, “Oh, I so would and am. Right before bed, too.”
“What did I ever do to you?” she hugged her husband, and smiled. It was good to have her with them. Elizabeth was so important to their family.
“You beat me on the firing range, and I told you that one day I’d get even. Well, today is that day of reckoning, my friend.”
“You’re evil.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Yeah, I know.”
* * *
Doc Trudeaux pulled up to the house and sat in his car watching all the agents running around working. It amazed him that just a few days ago, Salem seemed like such a quiet town. As he wandered into her house, showing the FBI agent at the door his ME badge, he noticed that there was no sign of Blackhawk or Elizabeth. He did spot Tyrell and Tony working on some spread sheets at the kitchen island.
“Hey Doc,” said the deputy, waving to him. “Coffee?”
“Well, yes, I think I will. Where’s Lyzee? She hasn’t called me in a couple days.”
Tony didn’t know if they were supposed to say anything to him or not. His eyes flickered to Tyrell.
“They ran back up north,” he replied, with no emotion as if it were just a car ride away.
“She left Salem, while there was an ongoing investigation?” That didn’t sound like her at all. “Is she okay?” he inquired, worried about her. It was the concerned parent in him coming out.
“Yeah, you should give her a call if you need to check up on her,” said Tony, the guilt overcoming him that they just lied to a man they liked and trusted. He just wasn’t going to be the one to leak the details of where she was, not after the last thing that almost cost him his job.
“Maybe I will,” he replied, walking away without even touching his coffee.
* * *
It was time to leave and Elizabeth hugged her friend and kissed her old boss goodbye. “Thank you for everything, Gabe.”
He nodded.
Livy crossed to her best friend’s new love. After the hours together, she had decided she liked him very much. “It was so nice to meet you, Ethan. Please, no matter what, come back and visit us anytime. You’re always welcome in the Dragon’s Lair.”
Blackhawk laughed and hugged her. “I will, Livy. Thank you for making me feel welcome.”
He went to Gabe and shook his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Both men knew it would be a lousy day, but neither was willing to let her do it on her own. They would both stand by her, and make sure she got through it. If he could, he would talk her out of it.
“Lyzee, I’ll see you tomorrow, but please reconsider,” asked Gabe, hoping she would listen. He even tried to get his wife to step in, and she wouldn’t. Something about the girlfriend code, and how she wasn’t breaking it for her husband.
Elizabeth patted Gabe on the cheek. “You're a good friend, and I owe you a lot. You gave me something special by sending me Ethan, but I need you to know that I have to do this. I have to get justice for my dad, and then put him back with my mom.”
“I would do the same, and I understand.”
Blackhawk opened the passenger door for Elizabeth. After she climbed in, he closed the door and took his place in the driver’s seat. Elizabeth had more to drink than him, so there was no point letting her get a DUI. Not in his car, and not how she drove. The Capital police would see her coming a mile away.
“I thought we could go home and have a heart-to-heart,” he said, starting the mustang and backing out of the driveway, gently.
“Are you going to try and talk me out of going to the cemetery tomorrow?” she asked, staring over at him as she waited for his answer.
“No, I wanted to talk about random things. Possibly have a glass of wine and eat cupcakes naked,” he said, smiling and continuing, “This is after all, a date, isn’t it?”
“It is, and that sounds like a perfect evening,” she said, taking his hand in hers. Just the connection with him gave her peace.
When he pulled up to the townhouse, he slid easily into the parking spot and came around for her. “Want to take a walk with me? It’s a gorgeous night.” he offered her his hand.
She slid into her sandals, and took the outstretched hand. “I absolutely would love to, Ethan.”
Blackhawk walked down the sidewalk with her towards where she had lived, and he wanted to know all about her life before Salem. As they walked hand in hand, she pointed out little things that once had mattered to her. When she said she literally lived a block away, she wasn’t kidding. It amazed him, that in the years they lived that close, they never once saw each other.
Fate must not have been ready for them to cross paths.
Elizabeth was enjoying their walk. He tucked her under his shoulder, and they slowly just wandered down the sidewalk in his neighborhood. It seemed very normal and very sweet. This she could easily get used to every night. When they approached the park, she finally spoke.
“Right after Ray died, I put my brownstone up for sale and ran to Salem. I didn’t even come back to sign the papers. I did it all via fax. I couldn’t return here because I wasn’t ready.”
“Would you like to tell me about it?” he gently pushed, wanting to get her to open up to him. They took a seat on the bench in the park and he didn’t know if she would ever tell him about it, but he could always hope.
Elizabeth knew if she was going to tell the man she loved him, and sleep with him, that she needed to trust him with all her secrets, including one of the biggest ones. “You want the official story? Or what really happened that day?”
“I prefer the truth,” he said softly, handing her words back to her.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if it was painful and arduous to remember that night. She had to trust him to understand all of it, and just let her get it out.
“I guess I’ll start at the beginning then. Ray and his wife filed for divorce, or that is what he was telling everyone. We just finished a particularly nasty assignment, and the team went for a beer. One became four, and we were all feeling good. I left to walk home, and he followed me to make sure I was safe. Long story short, two people, just both out of relationships, opted to throw caution to the wind. We had a one night stand, and then it became a two night stand, before I realized it wasn’t what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, he was a good guy. Ray just wasn’t the guy for me. The chemistry wasn’t there between us. There was no explosiveness like there is with us. Sex with him was… it was just there.”
“I understand, Lyzee. It was the same thing with me and the flight attendant. Before you, I didn’t know what I was missi
ng,” he paused, “So you were going to break it off?”
“Yeah, imagine how ugly that got, especially when I asked to be transferred out.”
“You wanted a new partner?”
“I did, except Ray had already spread the word he slept with me and my reputation was tanked. From that day on no one would see Elizabeth LaRue the FBI agent, who was damn good at her job. I would forever be seen as, Elizabeth LaRue, the woman who slept with her married partner. I wanted out of here to a new city. I was willing to go anywhere since I made the mistake.”
He felt the anger build that the man talked about it to others and trashed her reputation.
“I liked Ray a great deal. He was a friend and my partner. I put my life in his hands and his in mine, and we had a great chemistry, but as partners only. It was the same as it is with you and me. We could play each other off a suspect with ease. We just worked in the field. Then I screwed it up by feeling sorry for him and for myself.”
He kissed her cheek.
She laughed. “I ruined my career all because of having really horrible sex. Trust me as it bears repeating.” Elizabeth looked up at Blackhawk when he laughed. “I wasn’t willing to compromise myself for a relationship that was going to fizzle in a few months.”
He related, and now he understood what he’d been missing before her. Sex with her was all consuming, and he now couldn’t go back.
He wouldn’t go back.
“Anyway, I confessed my sins to Gabe, and he told me he’d get me reassigned, but in the meantime a new case popped up and we’re on deck.”
Blackhawk could feel her demeanor change. Now there was an underlying tension coating her body.
“Our assignment was to watch this money launderer, and help the state build a case. We were warned that there were possible mob ties and to watch our backs. It was supposed to be simple. Sit and observe the heavy hitters and just be invisible. Simple enough, we’d done plenty of stakeouts. The day I received the file, I read it and had a bad feeling about it. When we went out, I put on my Kevlar and even double plated the vest, front and back.”
The Killing Times (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 1)) Page 28