“Stop,” a voice said from behind him, the air of command as clear as a bell.
Willow. Surprised, wolf-Ruben let Chad go.
“Get him off me, get him away from me,” Chad babbled, struggling to staunch the flow as his life’s blood gushed away into the dirt.
Ruben snarled, baring his teeth. He shook the injured man, wanting him dead. The coppery smell of blood further enraged his beast.
“Ruben.” Willow’s hand in his fur. He froze, his human aspect dimly realizing what he’d almost done.
“Leave him alone,” she said sternly. Then, apparently trusting a wild beast to follow her orders, she went to Chad. Dropping to her knees, she used pieces of Ruben’s torn clothing to tie a rudimentary tourniquet.
“We’ll get you some help,” she murmured. “Try to focus. You’re in shock.”
Once she’d secured Chad’s wound, she climbed back to her feet, turning to face wolf-Ruben. After crossing the space between them, she crouched down to put her face at eye level. Ignoring his bloody muzzle, she stroked him. “I need you to change back to man. Can you do that for me?”
Unbelievably, he felt a surge of calm radiating from her touch. Acquiescing, the wolf retreated, permitting Ruben to begin the change.
Though less rapid, the shift back to human felt nearly as painful as it had earlier, most likely due to the intensity of the first change.
Man once again, Ruben turned away from the now-moaning Chad and gathered up his torn trousers in an attempt to hide his nakedness.
“What have you done?” So much sorrow and disappointment rang in Willow’s voice. Directed at him. He felt a twinge of pain before he realized that she didn’t know the truth.
Slowly, Ruben turned. “He’s the one who killed my servant. After he confessed, he was going to try to kill me. He cast some sort of spell that held me immobile.” He pointed toward the knife. “He planned to use that to cut me into pieces.”
To his relief, she nodded, accepting his statement as fact. She turned to eye Chad, who had passed out from the loss of blood.
“Can you heal him?” Ruben asked.
Willow shook her head. “I don’t know. Mostly what I do is soothe troubled animals, calm them. It’s more psychological than physical.”
He held her gaze. “Are you willing to try?”
She looked torn. “But he’s the killer.”
“A killer who needs to be brought to justice. That means he gets a trial. Heal him. Please.”
“For you,” she said softly. “I’ll try. But don’t get your hopes up.”
“I have faith in you.” And he did. He truly believed she could perform miracles, if she had faith in herself.
Without another word, Willow crossed to the other man and laid her hands on him. Ruben turned away, exhaustion swamping him, unable to watch her. At least he now knew the truth. Not only about the killer, but about his war with his dual nature. He’d allowed himself hope, hope that had turned out to be false. He couldn’t coexist with his wolf. The beast had wanted to blindly, savagely kill. His wolf hadn’t cared about justice or trials. How could anything but madness await him now?
He sank to his knees, back still to Willow while she continued to try and heal the man he’d nearly killed. He wanted to weep, but didn’t have the energy to do so. To think he’d actually let himself believe he had everything under control!
His eyes stung and he angrily rubbed them with his fist. He would not reveal—not even to Willow—the depths of his sorrow. Instead, he hung his head, shielding his face from her with her with his hands, trying to imagine what kind of future he had in store now. All he could see was blackness, which he fancied mirrored his soul.
“I did what I could. I think he’s sleeping normally,” she said, weariness making her voice tremble. “Perhaps you’d better secure him somehow so he doesn’t escape.”
Without a word, Ruben got up and used the bloody rope from Chad’s belt, finding the discarded knife and using it to cut off the right length. Once he had Chad trussed up, he removed the sheath and attached it to his own belt, placing the knife safely inside it.
Staring down at the still-unconscious man, he reflected on how closely he’d come to being just like him. A murderer.
Defeated, he turned away, unable to stand looking at the bloody leaves any longer. He saw the earring, shimmering in the dim light. Legs shaky, he retrieved it, carrying it back to her. “Here’s your mother’s earring.”
She accepted it solemnly, placing it in a small pouch she kept tied to her belt. “Thank you.”
“I don’t understand. He killed for that,” Ruben mused.
“No. He killed because he takes pleasure in it.” She sounded certain. “Which is why he was going to kill you.”
Though Chad hadn’t said as much, Ruben knew she was right. Stomach clenching, he turned away. He kept remembering how his wolf had attacked, fighting as if it was a battle for life and death. Hunching his shoulders, he studied the blood-stained leaves and dirt and considered how easily the outcome could have been different.
Maybe the wolf hadn’t been wrong.
“You were fighting to save your life. What you did was self-defense,” Willow said, placing her hand lightly on his shoulder. Once again she’d come up behind him without him noticing, proving his senses also had gone dull. Worthless.
“I was out of control.” Slowly he sank to his knees, wishing he’d let Chad kill him. That would be infinitely better than succumbing to madness.
“You are not mad,” Willow said firmly. “You defended yourself—and us.” Kneeling next to him, she tried to wrap her arms around him, undeterred when he tried to shrug her off.
“Let me help you,” she said softly. “Your psyche is wounded. I believe I can heal you, too.”
“I’m beyond redemption,” he said, bitterness coloring his voice. “Leave me alone.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Actually, I do.”
To his disbelief, she succeeded in circling her arms around his chest and back, holding on to him tightly. “You did the right thing.”
“How can you say that?” He let his mouth take on an unpleasant twist, fury almost choking him. “If you hadn’t come along, I’d have ripped out his throat.”
“Only to save your life.” Her voice washed over him like a cooling balm. “You did what came naturally, what you had to do to defend yourself. Now do the right thing again and let me help you.”
Glaring at her with burning eyes, he sneered. “Go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Then, stunning him, she kissed him, her mouth soft as she moved her lips over his. “I promise I can help you, just like I helped him.”
Swiveling his head, he eyed Chad, still crumpled in a heap on the forest floor. “You healed him? I thought you could only heal animals.”
She shrugged, still keeping her arms locked around him. “Until now, I’ve never tried to help a person. I wasn’t entirely sure it would work.”
He tried being dispassionate and dragged his hands across his eyes. “What would you have done if it hadn’t?”
“I don’t know.” She kissed him again, a whisper of her lips along the rigid line of his jaw. “I guess I’d have gone for help.”
He shuddered; he couldn’t help it. Though he didn’t really understand how or why, her nearness calmed the storm inside him. His wolf leaned into her, drawing comfort from her presence. His human self...felt more confused than anything else.
“I think you should leave me alone.” Trying for contempt, the most he could manage was a sort of tormented defeat. This too infuriated and enraged him.
“I’ll never leave you,” she promised. “Now let me help you.”
“Do I have a choice?” Forcing himself to relax, which seemed counterproductive, he tried to harden his heart against whatever foolishness she would try to use to convince him he wasn’t—
“Evil? A madman? A killer as bad as him?” She indicated Chad. “You’re no
t, I promise you.”
Glowering at her, he shook his head. “How did you do that?”
Again she lifted her slender shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t know. I simply hear your thoughts inside my head.”
Like a mate. Gut knotting, he closed his eyes. This couldn’t be happening, couldn’t be real. For all he knew, he was in the throes of a dream and would wake to find his madness had manifested itself once again while he slept.
“Whatever,” she scoffed, softening her words with a quick kiss. “Magic is real, you know. And one thing I have learned is that magic takes individual forms with different Sidhe.”
She caressed him, her touch sure and comforting. Even though he wasn’t sure he wanted comfort, he held still, feeling a bit like she was trying to free him from invisible bonds, like he was a wild animal caught in a trap.
Which, he reflected grimly, he actually sort of was.
“All right,” he finally managed. “Go ahead and try.”
Chapter 18
Warmth flowed from her fingers. More than that. Enchantment. Shimmering, beautiful, glorious.
Bright.
Stunned, he could feel it heating his skin, and deeper. His blood and his soul. Forgiveness, acceptance and hope. Hope was something he’d lost sight of a long, long time ago. Even as it washed over him, cleansing him, he tried to push it away, to resist. He wasn’t certain he believed in such a thing any longer.
“Of course you do,” she said, once again inside of his head.
As her fingers kneaded his skin, he closed his eyes, letting his head drop until his chin rested on his chest.
Inside, his wolf luxuriated in the sensation. No—he luxuriated. All of him.
“That’s right,” she murmured encouragingly. “You are no longer separate. You are one.”
“Easy enough for you to say,” he told her slowly. “But you don’t know how it’s been for me. Becoming the wolf is like a drug for me. I love it so much—and when I’m wolf I don’t want to ever change back to man.”
“That’s because you’ve been so busy suppressing the wolf inside you. When he finally got a taste of freedom, he didn’t want to go back to his cage.”
Reaching inward, he realized she was right. “How do you know this?” he asked, letting wonder fill his voice.
She smiled again, the beauty of it lighting up her face. “I told you I talk to animals. Your wolf part told me. You could have found this out yourself, if you’d only taken the time to ask.”
Inside, his wolf rumbled his agreement.
Stunned, Ruben looked at her. This lovely woman who had come to mean so much to him. So much—he cut off the thought, afraid she would pluck it from his mind.
In truth, perhaps she already had. She beamed at him, contentment shining from her brown eyes. The same satisfaction filled him as well, making him realize until now, he’d never been fully alive.
Was this a new kind of magic? She was Sidhe after all.
“Yes.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “All my life I’ve believed I was without magic. An outcast, bastard born, so different from everyone that even my own mother could hardly bear to look at me.”
The sorrow in her voice touched him, breaking past the barriers his own inner agony had erected. “And now?” he asked.
“Now I’ve learned there is so much more to me than I ever could have imagined. My sister’s taunts, my mother’s contempt—none if it will touch me again.”
“Easier said than done. We all want our parents to love us.”
“True and while I’ll always feel that lack, at least I now understand the reason behind it.”
Wisely he considered her. “That will only lessen the sting.”
She gave him a smile of such brilliance his chest grew tight. “Yes. But I can live with that.” She considered him, her fingers tracing soft patterns on his skin. “Now, how about you? Do you understand what it is you have to do?”
“Only partly,” he admitted, stretching as he realized he felt better than he had in years. “I’ve been treating my wolf as an enemy.”
“When in fact he’s only one aspect of you. You’ve got to accept yourself—all of yourself.”
Grimacing, he nodded. “I was working my way through that when Chad attacked me.”
They both glanced at the still unconscious man.
“We’ll have to notify my father. I’m going to request a few guards accompany us back to SouthWard. His magic is pretty strong. I don’t want to take a chance of him escaping.”
Later, after King Drem had his guards temporarily quarantine Chad in a locked holding cell, Ruben and Willow found themselves alone in the castle.
Once his adrenaline had subsided, he was in a kind of hell. Even the merest brush of her fingers against his skin made him feel as if his heart was about to leap from his chest.
He wanted her, plain and simple. No, more than that. He needed her, the way his wolf part needed to break free and run.
When the king finally released them to get ready for their journey home, Willow came up to him and wrapped her arms around him. His reaction was swift and violent. It took every ounce of self-control he had to keep from shoving her against the wall and taking her right then and there.
She deserved so much more than that.
“Are you tired?” Her voice broke into his thoughts. Pink stained the creamy perfection of her cheeks.
“Tired?” he repeated, searching her face for signs of exhaustion. “Not particularly. You?”
Instead of answering, she flashed him a wicked grin. Glancing behind them and ahead at the deserted corridors, she turned toward him.
In one forward motion, she molded her curves against him. “Then kiss me,” she ordered, softening it a second later with a “Please.”
He needed no other urging. Desire swept over him as he crushed her to him, claiming her mouth with a kiss. She kissed him back, her mouth moving against his in the kind of kiss that told him she had craved him as badly as he did her.
Right then, with their mouths joined together and passion heating his blood, a vow was made and sealed, at least in his heart.
His, his blood sang. Now and for all time.
Somehow they managed to make it to his room, sharing each other’s breath. She moved her hands, all over him, all trace of shyness gone. Her boldness enabled him to channel his darkness into passion, letting the other part of himself—his wolf—as close to the surface as he could without actually changing.
Pleasure, pure, explosive, arced between them. They were one and the same, skin to skin, heart to heart—two and then three—and, as he entered her, his mate, he almost gave her the words that would let her know she now owned his soul. His mate.
But something held him back, even after, when she curled her body into his and held him, smiling. He had made his choice. He had to allow her time to make hers.
Dawn was a short time away when Willow finally bid him good-night and made her way toward her room. Aching, he watched her go, ignoring the way he wanted to howl at her absence. He punched his pillow, closed his eyes and tried to rest. If he was lucky he could grab a few hours of sleep before they started out in the morning.
Now he would have to try and pretend that nothing had changed. In reality, he knew things would never be the same again.
* * *
Unfortunately, when Willow entered her sleeping chambers, it was to find a disheveled and grumpy Tatiana waiting for her.
“Where have you been?” her sister demanded shrilly. “I’ve been waiting here for hours.”
Willow briefly closed her eyes, gathering her strength. Then she opened them and told Tatiana what had happened.
“I don’t believe you,” Tatiana said when Willow had finished. “Chad isn’t a killer. You’re just trying to frame him because you don’t want to marry him.”
Regarding her sister with total disbelief, Willow sighed. “That’s ridiculous. He tried to kill Ruben tonight. And he admitted to everything.”
“No.” Tatiana crossed her arms. “You tricked him. I demand to see him.”
Tiredly, Willow let herself sink down onto her bed. What she’d give to rest her head on the pillow and simply close her eyes. “Why do you care? I know a long time ago you wanted me to switch with you, but since I haven’t seen any evidence of anything going on between the two of you, surely you’re over that by now.”
To her astonishment, Tatiana blushed a deep, fiery red. “Actually, we’ve been with each other. In the physical sense. I want to marry Chad, not Eric.”
Oh for the... Now Willow did close her eyes. She opened them again when the room began swirling around her. “Tati, Chad’s a vicious murderer. Not only that, but he tried to kill Ruben. We’ve taken him before King Drem. When we leave tomorrow, armed guards will be escorting us home. He’ll be standing trial for his crime.”
But Tatiana didn’t want to hear. “I refuse to believe you. I need to rescue him. If you won’t help me, then I’ll find someone who will. I know.” She snapped her fingers. “Eric won’t let this happen to his brother.”
“Go.” Too drained to argue, Willow waved her away. “King Drem has already summoned Eric. I think you might find out that he wasn’t surprised.”
She didn’t even react as Tatiana stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
* * *
The next morning arrived much too quickly. Her entire body aching, Willow hurried through her preparations, aware that her sister would no doubt make this the journey from hell.
Once downstairs, she went to the banquet area. Ruben was already there, finishing his breakfast. She saw no sign of Eric or Tatiana, or anyone else from King Drem’s Court.
Studying Ruben, she saw no sign of the bitter despair that had ravaged him the previous evening. In fact, as she returned his impersonal smile, it seemed like he’d put those momentous events temporarily behind him. At least, she hoped his blankness was only temporary. Sniffing, she searched the air to make sure he hadn’t been placed under a spell. She found none of the lingering residue of magic, so she supposed he was trying to deal with things the best way he could at the moment. Time, like always, would finish healing his wounds.
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