“Nara, please wait,” he calls after me as I tug the door open.
The panic in his voice makes me glance back over my shoulder. He’s standing in the hall, worry in his gaze. “You really aren’t Corvus?”
When I shake my head, he steps closer to grab a pen and pad off the table in the hall. Scribbling something down, he tears off the paper and hands it to me. “Here’s my number if you want to talk more. In the meantime, support your friend. He or she needs you to be there for them. And please keep the necklace safe.”
I nod, then close the door behind me and take off running.
Chapter Nineteen
Nara
I raise a shaky hand and knock on Ethan’s door. I don’t even know if he’s home; I just know I need to talk to him. Now.
Instead of driving, I walked to his house. I don’t want to take a chance Mr. Wicklow might follow me. If my Internet searches are being watched, who knows what else of mine is being tracked. I left my phone on the counter at home just in case.
“Come in, Nara,” Samson says, his light blue eyes brightening as he pulls the door fully open.
As I step next to a duffle bag sitting in the foyer, he calls upstairs. “Eth, your Sunshine’s here.”
“Nara?” Ethan pokes his head out of his room, a look of surprise on his face.
While Ethan makes his way down the staircase amid Samson’s laughter, his older brother shifts his gaze back to me. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist picking on him. He’s been so intense lately.”
“Hey,” Ethan says in a subdued tone as he joins us in the foyer. Questions reflect in his eyes, but he just shoves his hands into his pockets and turns to his brother. “I thought you were leaving to work out?”
“I can go to the gym later.” Samson gestures to the living room. “Go on in and make yourself comfortable, Nara.”
Ethan and I move into the living room, but as I sit on the couch, he turns and stares pointedly at his brother.
“Fine, I’m going.” Samson raises his hands in defeat. Shouldering his duffle bag, he turns to us, a knowing look in his eye. “Be good.”
When my face explodes with color, he laughs, then opens the door. “You’re absolutely adorable, Nara. Be back in a little bit.”
The moment the door shuts behind him, Ethan sits down on the couch beside me and mumbles, “Sorry about that.”
My nerves are a jangled mess, and I instantly jump up the moment he reaches for my hand. Moving to put the coffee table between us, I say, “I—I have a lot to say, so I think it’s best if I do it standing.”
Ethan holds my gaze for a couple of seconds, then stretches his legs out and drapes his arms across the back of the leather cushions behind him. “Okay.”
The action pulls his T-shirt up slightly and I shift my gaze away from the glimpse of flexing abs so I’m not distracted. “What did Danielle say about the Furiae?”
“She said this Madeline person doesn’t have her facts straight. Corvus aren’t creating Furiae.”
I tense. “How does she know that for sure?”
He sighs. “She just does.”
“How?”
“Trust me. She just knows.”
Is it because she’s Corvus too? I want to choke the answer out of him, but he isn’t volunteering anything more. “Did you find Harper?”
His mouth tenses slightly. “We finally found her, but she saw me at the same time I saw her, and was able to get out of the club before we could make our way through the crowd to get to her.” His gaze drops to my clenched hands. “Is this what you wanted to talk to me about—what Danielle said about the Furiae?”
I can’t believe I forgot to ask Mr. Wicklow about Furiae. Ugh! But so much is going on in my head right now, it’s hard to focus on just what to say. Ethan will freak out if I tell him about going to see the man, so I decide to start with Danielle.
“Danielle came to see me in the middle of the night.”
Ethan sits up; his hands move to his thighs, gripping them tight. “What?”
“She told me that I’m holding you back, and that me pushing you to regain your memory is messing with your training. She wants me to let you go, Ethan. To end our relationship so that you can just focus on accepting your Corv—”
Ethan’s in front of me before I can finish. “No, Nara! Danielle would never do that. She knows how much you mean to me.” Clasping my face, he steps closer. “It had to be a dream, just another crazy dream. You told me she’s been in several of your dreams lately.”
His amazing smell invades my senses, making it hard to focus. As I step back from his hold, the memory of Danielle’s perfume slams through my mind. In all the dreams I’ve had about her, I can’t recall smelling her, but in my dreams she wasn’t right up against me.
“She was there, demanding that I let you go.”
Ethan pales and he grips my shoulders. “Are you breaking up with me?”
I gape, speechless, my heart twisting in two. “Is—is that what you want?”
Ethan jams his fingers through his hair and glances up at the ceiling, gritting his teeth. Returning his deep blue gaze to mine, he slowly exhales. “No. I’m just trying not to freak out here.”
“She was there. And to make her point very clear, she jammed something…a knife or a sword…into my headboard right next to me. When I opened my eyes, it was as if she was never there. Even my headboard was undamaged.” Lifting my chin higher, I offer him the chance to tell me once more. “What is she?”
His eyes lock with mine. “She’s Corvus. Which does make her like a cousin to me.” A brief smile tilts his lips, but when I don’t return it, he continues on a sigh, “Corvus are sworn to protect, Nara. It’s ingrained in us not to harm a person unless they’re under the influence of a demon.”
“Even if she thinks I’m keeping you from accepting your Corvus?”
He nods. “Even then. She’s the one who taught me the code. And our swords will damage anything non-human. If you saw a sword, that’s how I know for sure it was a dream.”
His comment about the sword gives me pause, but my instincts are telling me otherwise. There’s so much I want to tell him, but I feel like anything I say right now will fall on deaf ears, especially when he learns the source of my information. Taking a step back, I pull the necklace over my head and hold it out to him.
“What are you doing? I told you never to take that off.”
“You can give this back to Danielle. She wasn’t happy that you’d given it to me.”
Worry fills his gaze and he shakes his head. “You need to wear it, Nara. It’ll keep you safe.”
I set it down on the coffee table. “I can’t. I shouldn’t be the one to have it.”
Ethan grabs the necklace and holds it out to me. “Please, put it back on.”
Mr. Wicklow was really excited about the necklace. But since he knows where I live and he doesn’t know about Ethan, the best place for the medallion is with him. I shake my head and back away. “Right now the safest place for it is with Corvus. Please Ethan, be careful working with Danielle.” My throat burns with the need to say more, to tell him everything Mr. Wicklow said. God, could this be any harder? I need to get out of here before I explode.
As I turn to leave, Ethan grips my hand, his expression devastated. “Why are you leaving? Talk to me, Nara.”
I close my eyes for a second, then meet his gaze. “I have to go pick up Houdini. Think about what I said. I know the difference between dreams and reality.”
“The medallion isn’t important, but you are. You need to wear it.”
He looks so upset, guilt clenches my stomach. I press my lips together and swallow the need to spill my guts. Sliding my hand from his, I force an even look on my face. “I’ll be fine. I have to go.”
Ethan
My chest feels like it’s being crushed as Nara walks out of my house.
Was I wrong to tell her it was a dream so quickly? She told me she’d had several dreams about Danielle. But the w
ay she talked about this one, the look in her eyes, she’s worried; she believes it was real.
Damn it! Why do I keep screwing things up with her?
I pace the carpet, the stupid necklace in my hand. It feels warm against my palm and I pause to look at it. The damn thing is glowing, which only irritates me. Nara will never wear it again. The look on her face; it’s like I betrayed her somehow by not telling her it belonged to Danielle. Dream or not, she believes what she’s saying. Did Danielle give it to me?
The carpet feels like it’s dragging my feet under as I tear back and forth. I scrub my hand through my hair and pull on the strands, hoping the pain will help jog my memory. If I could just remember, I could give Nara answers.
The necklace grows ice cold in my hand. As I tighten my grip, its frosty bite sears my palm, setting me off. “Fuck it all!” I yell and throw the disk at the stone fireplace.
I jump back when the metal explodes off the stonework, raining silver all around me.
How did that happen? It was a solid piece of metal. My adrenaline pumps as I stare at the powdery silver mess all over the coffee table, the sofa, and the carpet. Samson’s going to chew my ass if I don’t get this cleaned up. I never remember him being such a pain about keeping things neat at home, but in his house, he’s as anal as they get.
With a grunt of frustration, I head for the closet and drag out the vacuum. As the shrill whine of the machine drills in my ears, I keep thinking about Nara. I know she’s bottling her emotions up. I can feel she’s not telling me everything that’s on her mind. When I’m done, Danielle and I are going to have a serious talk. Then I’ll find Nara and get her to tell me what’s going on.
Nara
Even having Houdini back with his tail wagging and licking me incessantly didn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep last night, especially when I checked my shoulder.
My tattoo hadn’t changed; it was still a white feather. I cried when I woke up this morning too. Not because I’d had another dream about Danielle, but because I didn’t dream about Ethan. Actually, I didn’t dream at all. Losing Ethan, even in my dreams weighs heaviest on my mind, and no amount of makeup can cover the puffiness that restless sleep and tears cause.
“I’m so glad winter break is almost here. I’m ready to go skiing,” Drystan announces as he walks up and leans against the lockers. His smile falls as he tips my chin up to inspect my face. “You look like ’ell.”
He’d said it without his normal acerbic bite, and the lack of sarcasm in his tone feels somehow harsher. Like I really do look like I’ve been run over. I wince and pull my chin away. “I’m good, Drystan.”
He shakes his head and glances at Lainey over his shoulder. “No, you’re not.”
I’m too tired to put up a front, so I shrug. “I’m just working through some stuff.”
“Hi everyone,” A friendly smile curves Danielle’s lips as she presses her backpack between her body and the lockers on the other side of me. “I’m sorry for hogging all Ethan’s time lately, Nara. I didn’t mean to take him away from you, but he’s been helping me figure my way out around here.”
“Seems as if you’ve learned your way around here pretty quickly,” Drystan says. “Soon you’ll be hosting new students.”
“Yep, you’re a fast study, Danielle,” Lainey adds as she walks up behind Drystan, her eyes pinging from me to Danielle.
I notice sarcasm in Drystan’s voice. My friends assume she’s talking about how much time she and Ethan have spent together since she arrived. I hold Danielle’s penetrating gaze, meeting the challenge I see in her eyes. Plastering on a smile, I say, “Ethan’s good like that, always rescuing others in need.”
Danielle’s confident smile falters, turning downward. I knew that would get to her. The last thing a Corvus wants is to be perceived as weak. The way Mr. Wicklow treated me when he thought I was Corvus and the things he said about their acceptance of Paladins, not to mention the transformation I’ve seen in Ethan make that fact painfully obvious. I should feel better about that; it explains so much about why Ethan has done this whole Corvus thing on his own. Instead, it makes me feel like I did this morning when I woke up, like I’m no longer a part of Ethan’s life. And just like that, my victorious moment quickly evaporates.
“I’ve got to get to class, guys. See you later.”
“Nara,” Lainey calls, but I don’t look back. I just shoulder my way through the crowd.
Homeroom dragged by and I’m anxious to get to History. Even though I ran out on Ethan yesterday, I need to see him sitting in the back of the classroom. My lack of dreams really freaked me out. I didn’t realize how addicted I’d become to seeing him in them until he wasn’t. Even if my dreams are full of worry and fear…he’s there, he exists. In them, he’s a part of my life, and I’m doing everything I can to save him. Last night’s nothingness scares me more than our fighting, more than worrying we’re being torn apart. It’s as if our connection never existed…and that terrifies me.
I quickly file into History class with everyone else and turn in my seat to watch the doorway for Ethan. When the bell rings and he still hasn’t shown, I chew the inside of my cheek and open my three-ring binder. Why isn’t he at school? Has something happened to him? I couldn’t bear that, especially after the way I left things yesterday.
“Nara.”
I jerk out of my worried musings to see Mr. Hallstead’s expectant look. “Yes?”
“If you’re done reorganizing, would you mind going to the office and getting this packet copied for me to pass out at the end of class?”
I glance down at my six-subject notebook and swallow. Not only have I completely rearranged the subjects in alphabetical order, but I’ve color-coordinated all the separator tabs within each subject. As snickers from students to my left and right bleed through, I mentally curse my tension-induced OCD and walk up to the front of the classroom to retrieve the packet from him.
He sets the stack of papers in my hand, then lays a key on top of it. “Please stop by the supply closet for a ream of paper. Ms. Cresh wasn’t too thrilled the last time I requested copies without bringing my own supply.”
The supply closet is right next to the teacher’s lounge and thoughts of Ethan and the last tense conversation we had in there rushes to my mind as I unlock the door. Flipping on the light, I shove thoughts of Ethan away and try to focus on my task. Reams of copy paper take up the entire back wall of metal shelving.
Someone, in their infinite wisdom, has stacked the reams of paper so tightly together and all the way to the next shelf above and below that I can’t easily pull a single ream out. Setting the paperwork and the key on a stack of pencil boxes on the shelving next to me, I tug with all my strength, but the paper isn’t budging. I blow out a breath of frustration and crane my neck to see if the shelf above has a stack that’s not packed like Lainey’s suitcase after a trip to New York.
In the center there’s a stack with only five reams. If I stand on my tiptoes and wiggle the bottom ream, hopefully I can get it out without tumbling the other four reams down on my head.
Just as I start to tug, warmth spreads across my shoulders and along my back. Grasping the top ream of paper, Ethan pulls it down and sets it on top of the stack of papers and the key, saying, “It’s amazing how when you want something bad enough, it finally comes to you.”
He’s all right. I close my eyes and soak in the sound of his deep baritone. “What comes to you?” I say quietly as I grip the shelf in front of me, my stomach tensing.
Ethan bends close and whispers in my ear, his voice gruff, “I remember everything, Nara. Every breathy sigh, the curve of your back, kissing every bruise, waiting until dawn to untie the bow on your bra, and being in awe with how beautiful you are when I saw you for the first time. I remember wanting you so bad my body ached that next morning, and how leaving without kissing you awake was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
As my heart thrums, he runs his nose down my neck and
lowers his hand to my hip, his fingers sliding inside the top of my jeans. “I know what your birthmark looks like, because I slid a feather here,” he says, hooking two fingers where my underwear curves over my hip. “It was my way of telling you that we’d finally finish what we started when I returned.”
My eyes flutter open and an explosion of raw emotion slams through me, making it hard to breathe. “I found it and knew what it meant.”
Ethan moves his lips to my temple, his voice hoarse and tortured. “Then why would you keep such a precious memory from me?”
“Ethan, I—”
He turns me around. “I want to see your eyes.”
He has his memory, all of it…and he’s here demanding answers. That has to count for something. I can’t help the tears that trickle down my face. My heart jerks when Ethan brushes them away with his thumbs, his tone softening. “Just tell me, Sunshine.”
I search his deep blue gaze, hoping he’ll see my sincerity. “I didn’t know if you’d still feel the same way about us once you got your full memory back. You were changing. You didn’t seem to want me to be a part of this new you. You kept things from me. You were gone longer than you promised. And when you woke up without your memory, I just didn’t know. It hurt to think that I’d open my heart up, only to have you walk away once everything came back to you.”
He cups my face and pulls me to him, touching his chest to mine. “I’m sorry I got delayed coming back, but Danielle insisted she needed help with a trio of demons she’d discovered. I couldn’t let her go after them by herself. Anyway, that’s not important. I told you why I kept my distance. I’ll always want to protect you. What has changed is that I realize now that not telling you where I was going before I left was a big mistake. I own that. I should’ve trusted you would support me no matter what.”
He bows his head, his dark bangs falling to the side. “I’ve been shit on so many times, it’s hard to let go of feeling as if that might happen again at any moment, especially once I discovered my life had just changed in such a drastic and irrevocable way when I learned I was Corvus. I meant what I said that night I spent with you, every bit of it. I don’t deserve you, and I really should break it off. It’s truly the only way to keep you completely safe, but I can’t. I love you too much. You are my light. Do you believe me now? Really believe that you mean everything to me?”
Destiny, YA Paranormal Romance (Brightest Kind of Darkness Series, Book #3) Page 22