Beowulf

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by Neil Gaiman


  we’ll steal your cattle,

  and take your girls,

  then we’ll do it all over again…

  The fattest of the Virgins,

  I knew her for a whore!

  I gave her all my codpiece,

  And still she wanted more!

  Singing we are Beowulf’s army,

  we are mighty thanes,

  we’ll steal your cattle,

  and take your girls,

  then we’ll do it all over again…

  A virgin was from Norway,

  She cost me twenty groats!

  She showed me there was more ways,

  Than one to sow my oats!

  Singing we are Beowulf’s army,

  we are mighty thanes,

  we’ll steal your cattle,

  and take your girls,

  then we’ll do it all over again…

  There was a girl from Iceland,

  And she was mighty hot!

  She’d take a whole damn iceberg,

  To cool her burning twat!

  Singing we are Beowulf’s army,

  we are mighty thanes,

  we’ll steal your cattle,

  and take your girls,

  then we’ll do it all over again..

  NAIL ’EM TO THE WALL

  (from a lost draft)

  Hrothgar is a hero

  Hrothgar is a king

  He’s not afraid of dragons

  Or any other thing

  When giants came to Hrothgar

  So big and strong and tall

  He’d cut their bloody bollocks off

  And nail them to the wall.

  Oooooh

  Nail ’em to the wall,

  Nail ’em to the wall,

  He’d cut their bloody bollocks off and nail them to the wall.

  Hrothgar was a young man

  Hrothgar went to fight

  He killed a dozen monsters

  In one tremendous night

  When dragons came at Hrothgar

  He’d battle, bust and brawl

  then he’d rip their scaly tails off

  And nail them to the wall…

  Ooohhh…

  Nail it to the wall,

  Nail it to the wall,

  He ripped its evil head right off and nailed it to the wall…

  About the Authors

  NEIL GAIMAN is the New York Times bestselling author of numerous books, including Neverwhere, Stardust, Coraline, American Gods, Anansi Boys, and the Sandman series of graphic novels, among others. Originally from England, he now lives in the United States.

  ROGER AVARY is the writer-director of the neo-noir crime thriller Killing Zoe and the filmed adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel The Rules of Attraction. In 1994 he was awarded an Academy Award for his work as a writer with Quentin Tarantino on Pulp Fiction. Originally from the United States, he now lives in England.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Copyright

  BEOWULF: THE SCRIPT BOOK. Copyright © 2007 by Paramount Pictures and Shangri-La Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  EPub © Edition DECEMBER 2008 ISBN: 9780061977589

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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