by Lane Hart
“Candice, last Saturday night at First Presbyterian Church there was a memorial for Eli Campbell, a fighter who died in a car wreck three years ago. It was from seven until nine, and the shooting happened at eight.”
“Fine, I’ll hold off on it to talk to a few people, but isn’t it possible that he’s lying? And why did you wait this late to call me to tell me this?” she asks.
I can’t tell her I’m dating him since she’ll probably freak out about me moving on from her brother so soon. She thinks I enrolled Grayson in classes at Havoc to try and get information out of Nathan.
“Sorry, I just checked my email and saw his response,” I lie. I’m lying to Nathan. Why not do the same with Candice?
“Ugh,” she groans. “I’ve got calls to make.”
“Thank you,” I tell her before she hangs up.
That was too freaking close. I’ve got to be honest with Nathan about the story and everything else, even if it means he’ll stop seeing me. God, but Grayson would be destroyed if he can’t see him anymore, and I think I would be too.
…
I'm washing up breakfast dishes Sunday morning when I hear the front door open and close.
"Alyssa? It's just me," the familiar deep voice I recognize as Patrick's filters through the house a few seconds before he walks through the doorway.
"Hey, Patrick," I say in greeting, drying my hands on a towel before I turn around to face him. The sight of him is bittersweet as usual. Still keeping his dark hair short in a military high and tight style, wearing cargo khakis and a chocolate tee that brings out his caramel eyes, he reminds me so much of Austin. It's no surprise really since they were best friends during their years in service together. My mother-in-law used to tease that they were long, lost brothers.
"How you doing, Alyssa?" he asks before wrapping me in a hug. Other than his parents, losing Austin was probably the toughest on his best friend. Patrick was there, watching him take his last breath after fatally encountering a roadside bomb in Afghanistan.
"Good, how are you?" I ask. Patrick's once carefree eyes still seem haunted. I'm sure that's to be expected after what he's been through; I just hate it for him.
"Hanging in there," he replies, letting me go.
"I've got leftover eggs and biscuits if you want some?" I offer.
"Sure, sounds good." He takes a seat at the bar while I heat up the plate of food in the microwave. For the past few months since he's been discharged, he comes to check on Grayson and me most Sundays, which is why he has a key. "So where's little man?"
"In his room," I say with a sigh, putting the plate in front of Patrick. Grayson spends too much time alone, making me worry about his antisocial behavior.
"How did he like his MMA classes? Still wanna go back next week?" Patrick asks before shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth.
"It's mostly just karate moves at his age, and, yeah, he seems to enjoy it. He told me he wants to go back Tuesday for sure." I smile to myself thinking about seeing Nathan again. Maybe in his office, testing the weight limit on his new desk.
"What are you so cheerful about?" Patrick suddenly asks. I turn my back to wipe down the counter tops with the dishrag. "I thought you'd be flipping out with him doing that sort of thing."
"I still worry about him. But after watching two classes, it doesn't seem so bad."
"You're different," Patrick observes, making me pause in my cleaning.
"What do you mean?" I question without looking at him.
"You look...happy."
"Is that a bad thing?" I ask, even though I already feel guilty. Like it's not fair for me to be happy when I just became a widow eighteen short months ago. Patrick, Candice, all of Austin's family would think I'm a complete bitch if they knew I was dating someone so soon.
"No. You deserve to be happy, Alyssa. No one expects you to grieve for him the rest of your life. You're so young and...it's not right for you to be alone forever."
"Thanks," I say genuinely. And when I turn around, Patrick's right there, inches away from me.
"I want to be here for you and Grayson. I think Austin would want me to take care of you both if he couldn't. I just haven't wanted to rush you into something you weren't ready for."
"Patrick, I appreciate that, but I'm not...I can't," I stutter. There's this look of resolve in his eyes, and I realize he's going to kiss me.
"Hey, Patrick!" Grayson has the best timing, thank goodness.
I don't want to hurt Patrick by telling him I'm not interested. He's been a good friend and would do anything for us, but I just don't feel any sort of romantic connection with him. And I can't tell him about Nathan as the real excuse for not wanting him. "Can I demonstrate what I was taught in class this week for you?" Grayson asks, and I push my palms against Patrick's broad chest to put more space between us.
"Why don't you two go out into the backyard where you'll have more room?" I suggest.
Chapter Eleven
Nate
I walk around the pairs of kids, mostly boys but a growing number of girls, and make sure they're following the sequence of moves Jude and Linc taught today. My concentration is off, knowing Alyssa's in the room, a few feet away. I haven't seen her since Saturday night, and I've missed her like crazy. When I glance over my shoulder, she's watching me; and that's all the motivation I need. Jude and Linc have got this.
I walk up to her. Aware of the other parents around us, I lean down and whisper in her ear. "Can I see you in my office?" I ask. "Right now. It's very important."
She smiles and nods, so I put my palm on her lower back to urge her to leave the room and get across the gym quickly. As soon as we're inside, I close the door and take advantage of my newly installed slide lock before turning to her. She comes at me at the same time I reach for her, and we collide, mouths hot and eager, hands grabbing everything they can reach. I've never wanted a woman the way I want Alyssa.
Do I feel bad about lying right to her face Saturday night? Hell yes, but she works for a newspaper, and that sort of publicity would be horrible. Besides, I wasn’t ready to come out and tell her why I was in a gay bar in the first fucking place. She’ll only be confused, thinking I like men, when that’s not exactly true. There is and will only be the one man, who I lost. Alyssa is who I want now, my hardening shaft the exclamation on the end of that statement.
Sitting her on my new desk, I stand between her spread thighs while our tongues continue to go wild. Her hands stroke up the back of my hair, pressing my mouth to hers while my palms sneak their way up her blouse. Her skin is so damn soft and smooth underneath my fingertips. I want to feel all of her skin against mine. Every. Single. Inch.
When I reach the front of her bra, I swipe my thumb over the cups, strumming her beaded nipples through the thin fabric. My cock throbs behind my nylon pants, making one helluva tent. I rock forward, pushing my erection into the apex of her thighs. The friction makes us both moan into each other’s mouths. It aches. It feels good. I don't even know anymore. And then her hand slips down inside the front of my elastic waistband, making my breath catch in my throat. When her palm wraps around my dick, I shout out a curse. My knees almost buckle as she rubs the head of my shaft with her thumb, spreading around the drops of pre-cum that have escaped.
I kiss her desperately while she starts jerking me off with her hand. All it takes is imagining my cock in her mouth or sliding in and out of her tight, wet pussy, and I come so hard the room spins around us.
"Fuck, Alyssa," I pant against her lips. "That was so worth the mess in my pants."
She giggles and releases my deflating dick, rubbing her palm up my abs before withdrawing it from my shirt. "Come over tonight?" she looks up and asks.
"Hell yes," I agree right away.
Alyssa hops down off the desk and goes straight for the door, leaving me standing there in a blissed-out haze.
"Nine-thirty?" she asks. And after I nod, she slips out the door with a grin of triumph, knowing she practically br
ought a grown man to his knees.
…
Alyssa
I rush around the house after putting Grayson to bed. I'm too excited to let the guilt bother me tonight. I've been so wet since that encounter at the gym with Nathan that I didn't bother putting on panties after my shower. I slipped on a lavender pajama tank top, without a bra, and tiny black boy shorts. Watching myself in the mirror as I fluff my hair with the brush, I do look different. Younger or more my real age. I highlighted my eyes with black eyeliner, put on some mascara to lengthen my lashes and added a touch of blush. Of course, my teeth are brushed, and I'm ready to do this. Whatever this turns out to be. Glancing down at my phone, I see that it's nine-twenty eight, so I go turn on the porch light and open the door.
Nathan's already there, sweeping me off my feet and into the house as he kisses me. When we get to the couch, he sits down, bringing me with him so that my knees straddle his lap. After we kiss for a while, he spreads his legs wider, which cause my thighs to do the same. His hands cup my ass cheeks on the outside of my shorts before slipping them down the back.
"Is this okay?" he asks softly against my lips.
"Yes," I reply.
His kneading hands start to move lower, teasing me with anticipation until I'm ready to burst. Finally, his index finger strokes my damp pussy lips, and I whimper, needing more. Withdrawing one of his hands from my backside, he shoves it down the front of my shorts, going right in for the kill.
I gasp at the initial penetration, at the same time Nathan mutters, "Oh, fuck, you're wet. And tight. So goddamn tight." My hips start to move, frantically riding his thrusting fingers. That hot, ache in my lower belly becomes overwhelming while our tongues caress. I vaguely hear myself begging Nate for more. Anything to give me the relief I'm desperate for.
"Oh! Oh! Oh!” I moan through pants as my entire body trembles uncontrollably in his arms. He holds me tight as I come down from the height of ecstasy. The air suddenly feels cool against my sweaty skin, making me shiver.
"I've got you, kitten," Nathan says quietly against my ear where he places a kiss.
"Oh God. Was I loud?" I ask, leaving my face buried in his neck since I'm too embarrassed to look at him.
"No, don't worry." His palm rubs soothingly up and down my back. It feels really nice. "But maybe we ought to go to your room in case Grayson gets up." I freeze at his words, wanting Nathan, but feeling confused and guilty at the same time. "I'll keep my clothes on. I didn't mean anything would happen," he clarifies.
I shake my head since I can't take that step yet. I need to change the sheets or...get a new mattress. Yeah, like those things will make it any easier to be intimate with only the second man in my life. A man that is not my husband that I was married to for eight years. The man that had to enlist in the military and die in combat because of me.
"You okay?" Nate asks.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just...this is all new. It's been a long time..."
"I know, but you're in charge here. We won't do anything you're not ready for."
"Thank you."
"You're so damn beautiful when you come that I really want to see it over and over again, though."
I laugh into his neck even as my face catches fire. "It's, um, been a long time since I, ah, had one of those," I say in my defense.
"Just let me know when you want another," he teases. "I carry an unlimited supply of orgasms."
Still giggling, I climb off of his lap and sit on the couch beside him. When my eyes go to the clock, he predicts my next words and says, "You want me to go, don't you?"
"I should probably get to bed," I say without looking at him. I hear his sigh before he stands up and stretches. I could really get used to seeing that stomach of his. When he starts for the door, I follow; and he gives me a single kiss goodbye.
"See you Thursday?" he asks.
"Yeah. See you then."
Chapter Twelve
Nate
Thursday afternoon I watch the door of the gym, waiting for Alyssa and Grayson to walk through it while throwing some combinations on the long bag. My joy at seeing her instantly deflates when I notice the man with them. Maybe he's just coming in at the same time. I grab a towel to wipe the sweat off my face as I head over, determined to find out.
Alyssa smiles hesitantly when she sees me, and I don't miss the way her lips part and her eyes widen as they go from my bare, dripping wet chest to my abs then briefly lower to the front of my shorts.
"Hey, little professor. Alyssa," I say in greeting, eyeing the man with the military cut and aviator glasses over his eyes, waiting to see if she'll introduce us.
"Hey, Nathan. Um, this is Patrick Foxx," Alyssa says softly. I immediately don't like him.
"How you doing?" the man asks with a smile, removing his sunglasses and offering me a handshake.
"Great," I say, looking back and forth between Alyssa and the man." "Or at least I thought I was until a few minutes ago. Now I'm not so sure." Alyssa's eyes finally meet mine when she picks up on the actual meaning behind my words. I’m assuming he’s a friend of her late husband’s since he looks like he’s definitely military.
When he puts his fucking arm around her shoulders, something inside me snaps at the possessive move he makes on my woman.
Veteran or not, if it wasn't for all the kids around, I'd have already put him to sleep. Thankfully, Alyssa steps away from him and urges Grayson to the fitness room just in time before I take a swing.
I grab a Havoc tee from the front desk and throw it on before following. During the entire class, I force myself to not look in their direction. It'll only jack up my anger, and there's no reason for it, not until I can talk to Alyssa and find out what the fuck is going on between them.
…
I show up at Alyssa's at nine-thirty and lightly knock on the door. Hours later and my heart is still racing as I think about her with another man. Is she seeing him? Why didn't she tell me?
"Hey," she says when she opens the door wide in invitation. "What's wrong?" she asks since my anger is apparently visible on my face.
"Who the hell was he, Alyssa?" I ask, and the words come out sharper than I intended.
"Who? Patrick?" she asks like she was with more than one man today.
"Yes, Patrick. Are you two -?"
"No," she says right away. "I mean, he might want that, but I don't. Not even before you and I met."
"Good," I say with a relieved exhale.
Now I'm finally able to relax enough to take her in, all of her. How did I not notice before, even through the jealousy? Alyssa's wearing a black satin and lace nightie and...that's it. The spaghetti strap gown is not very revealing, ending just before her knees, but the message behind it is crystal clear.
Oh fuck yeah!
My mouth crashes down on hers at the same time I pick her up and carry her into the house, closing and locking the door without turning around. I don't stop at the living room but head down the hall looking for her bedroom. As soon as I step in the one with a giant bed and shut that door, Alyssa pulls away from me and freaks the fuck out.
"No, Nathan. I can't. Not in our bed," she says in a rush. The "our" is obvious. She still thinks of this as her and her late husband's bed. I try not to let that bother me, but it does. I don’t want to push her if she's not ready, though, so I sit her down on the edge of the mattress, trying to take this one step at a time.
"I don't need to get in bed with you for what I have planned tonight," I tell her. When I reach for the hem of her gown she lifts her arms, giving me the green light to remove it, leaving her in nothing but a black, lace thong.
Falling to my knees in awe seeing her mostly naked before me, I reach for the strings on the sides and pull the panties off so that not a shred of fabric covers her. Both of my palms rub over the top of her shaking thighs, higher to her hips and stomach, and then I cup her heavy, perfect tits. I brush my thumbs over each nipple, over and over, making them harden even more. Grabbing two handfuls of co
mforter by her side, Alyssa's head tips backward, her eyes closed, dark hair spilling over her shoulders as she arches her spine, thrusting her chest toward me.
"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" I ask, leaning forward to kiss the inside of her thigh. "Or how fucking sexy?"
"Please, Nathan," she moans.
"Tell me what you need, Alyssa." My lips move higher toward the trimmed patch of curls between her legs.
"Your mouth...on me," she responds through heavy pants. She even lifts her hips when my mouth doesn't reach her fast enough, making me smile at her eagerness. At the first swipe of my tongue along her pussy lips, she moans to the ceiling, breaking the last of my restraint. I wrap my arms around her thighs and yank her ass to the edge of the bed, causing her back to hit the mattress.
"Grab a pillow, kitten. I'm about to make you scream," I warn her before dipping my head back between her legs and eating every inch of her pussy like a starving man. When her hips start undulating against my tongue, I just about lose it. My cock is so hard it's threatening to burst through my jeans. But tonight's about pleasuring her, not me. I want to make her come so many times that she can't remember or even think of anyone else between her legs again.
The moans from her first orgasm are clear until she pulls a pillow over her face, muffling them. The second time, I thrust my fingers in and out of her pussy and torture her clit with my flicking tongue until she comes again. After that, I lose count of orgasms until she wiggles out of my hold and I finally let her go.
Her panting breaths are loud in the quiet room, so I give her time to recover. I don't climb on the bed with her, even though I want to. I stay kneeling on the floor.
"God, Nathan. That was...wow," she says softly, sitting up on her elbows, making me smile with pride. Her hair is good and tussled, and a blush covers her cheeks, her nose, running down across her chest. She's stunning. Even with my cock throbbing in need, I'd give anything just to be able to hold her tonight. If I can't share the bed with her, she'll just have to join me on the floor. I reach for her ankles and tug her to me, pulling her down on my lap. Her arms go around my neck when she kisses me before leaning back.