Imperative: Volume 2, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice
Page 26
Darcy immediately looked out of the window and scanned the view. Georgiana nudged him and shrugging, he smiled and sat down. “So perhaps when you are free of this burden, you will take up a new habit and enjoy nature?”
“Maybe.” She picked up a flower and placed it into the vase. “I never really took the time to appreciate Pemberley before. It was just … home. I am grateful that I still have one.” Darcy held out his hand and helped her to sit down. He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “I am so sorry.”
“So am I, dear.” They sat together, both entirely unable to speak, and both at a loss of what to say if they could. Georgiana’s hand went to her belly and he looked away when she grimaced. Gradually, Darcy managed to take control of his emotions. “So … where did you find your flowers? Did Jennifer cut them for you?”
“No, Mr. Ferguson did.” Darcy’s brow creased, but she was looking at the blooms. “He has been very kind. He does not seem to judge me like others do.”
“What others? You have seen nobody for weeks.”
“Mrs. Shaw. I see how she frowns at me.”
“Does she?” Darcy’s eyes went to the door. “I will speak to her.”
“No, no … I did not say that to cause trouble. She is entitled to her opinion, after all. And she never treats me poorly. Do you know about Amy?”
“Amy … the maid?” He nodded. “Yes, Judy told Elizabeth her story and how she came to be here.”
“Mrs. Shaw dislikes her for throwing away so much.”
“I see.”
“I see what could have been.” Georgiana’s gaze went to her hands.
“Never.” He turned her face to his. “Never would that have happened. Not with me as your guardian.”
“What would Papa have done?” She rested her head on his shoulder.
Father never would have let this happen. All of his feelings of inadequacy and guilt came rushing up and unconsciously, he rubbed at his chest. A glint of sunlight off his ring caught his eye and clasping his hands, he stroked his thumb over the initials on the gold band.
Georgiana regarded him worriedly, “Does your heart hurt? I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam!”
“No, no, I am fine.” He said definitely and let go of the ring. “And you are fine. There is no sense in debating what our father might or might not have done since there is no way to ask him his opinion, and no way to know if you might have been tempted by any man if he had lived. So. I think that you have been stuck in this house for too long. You need some fresh air.” Darcy stood and held out his hands.
“I really cannot walk far, my feet are so swollen.”
“I said nothing of walking. Come, I will take you for a drive.” He spotted Parker passing the door and called out for him. “Could you ask Ben to run down to the stable and prepare the curricle for us, Parker? Miss Cargill and I are going to take a drive to the sea.”
“Yes, sir.” He nodded.
“The curricle? But … would I not be seen?”
“I want to be alone with you, that is not possible with a driver and a footman along.” Darcy smiled down to her. “Go on and prepare yourself. We will just put a blanket over your lap. I know a lovely spot to take in the view. I want you to experience the peace that listening to the water brings.”
“But what of Elizabeth?”
“She will probably be glad to be rid of me for a few hours.” Georgiana laughed. “Go on, and I will write her a note.” He watched her leave and then sitting down at the writing desk, scratched out a message. Reading it over, he stood and selected one of the flowers remaining on the table, and walked to their bedchamber where he left the two on her pillow. He imagined her reading it and looking down at his ring, he gave their initials a rub. “I hope that I make you proud.”
“OH, MR. BENNET!” Mrs. Bennet sobbed and sinking down onto her bed, she pressed her handkerchief to her mouth and looked around her nearly empty bed chamber.
Jane hurried from the closet and sitting down next to her mother, put her arm around her waist. “Oh Mama, do not cry. Papa is at peace, and we are all safe. We are not in the hedgerows as you feared. Kitty and Lydia are almost finished decorating your room. Everything is fine.”
“It is not fine.” Mrs. Bennet dabbed at her eyes. “I am being forced from the rooms I have occupied for almost five and twenty years. I think that they should be mine until my time comes!”
“I am afraid that they belong to the mistress of the house, Mama, and she will be arriving soon.” Jane said softly and tried to smile in the face of her mother’s baleful look.
“You have no motherin-law to displace. And you do not live here any longer.”
“No, Mama.” She agreed.
“Mary moving into my rooms.” Mrs. Bennet looked around and sighed. “She will have the drapes replaced by burlap and the floors covered with straw.”
“Mama!” Jane gasped. “How can you say that! She grew up here; you were her example. Why would she not want to emulate your ways?”
“Do you really think so? I did try to make the home nice. After Mrs. Bennet died, I could not wait to ask Mr. Bennet to finally allow me to redecorate. He held me off for years after we married. He promised me up and down that the day his mother departed this earth, he would wave me off to Meryton. Of course, I begged to go to London, but as I was carrying you …” She sighed and patted Jane’s hand. “I sacrificed.”
“It came out beautifully, Mama.”
“But Mary will not freshen it. Even with all of my instruction, I cannot see that little miser she married opening his purse to pry out a penny, much less a pound. I suppose we shall be eating oysters morning and night now, not a speck of beef, just old mutton and boiled potatoes for us from now on.” Her handkerchief waved, “And then I will retire to that room where Lizzy slept, and as Mary and Mr. Collins have each baby, I am sure they will gradually push me down the hall until I am sleeping in a bedcloset with Mrs. Hill.”
“Mama, how can you say such things?” Jane whispered urgently.
“And while I am suffering alone, you and Mr. Bingley will be there in your mansion, with all of those lovely empty bedchambers, eating your pheasants and drinking your fine wine …” Jane closed her eyes and thought of her husband’s surprisingly immovable stance about Mrs. Bennet coming to live with them. “I will be all alone …”
“You will not be alone; you have Kitty and Lydia still to marry off.”
“And then they will be gone.” Suddenly a thought occurred to her. “Mr. Bingley must take a house in Town next Season. And then we will all go to London so that you may present the girls to all of his rich friends.” Mrs. Bennet nodded eagerly. “Surely Mr. Collins will be happy for that! He will give me money to buy them dresses and we will live in style instead of staying in Cheapside. I miss my brother, of course, but to stay in Mayfair … “
“Mama, my husband has no need to rent a home. We will stay with the Hursts; or even Lizzy if she is in Town.”
“Lizzy.” Mrs. Bennet snapped. “Where was she all of this time? She was his favourite! He made that perfectly clear. I had to fight for his attention. And there he was, languishing for all of those months and where was she? By his side? No, off to stay at her mansion in Derbyshire, or her mansion in Scotland. Hmmph!”
“Lizzy is a married woman, Mama, she must obey her husband’s wishes.”
“Lizzy Bennet is an obstinent, headstrong girl and if she wished to be here, she would have been.”
Jane could not deny that statement. “But Mama, with Lizzy not here, you had Papa’s attention for all of those months. You sat and talked to him for hours and hours.”
“Yes … I did.” Mrs. Bennet considered that fact. “I even ran out of things to say sometimes.”
“I am certain that Papa noticed.”
“He did seem to smile with some amusement when I stood up to leave.”
“Of course he did. You brought him much joy at the end.”
“Lizzy just would have argued with him
.” Mrs. Bennet sniffed and twisted her handkerchief. “But I know that he would have preferred her company. For twenty years he doted on her, and when the end came, where was she? Here to help with him?”
Jane said quietly, “I imagine that she was simply being a good wife to Mr. Darcy and looking after his concerns. Just like … I try to do for Mr. Bingley. And Mary does for Mr. Collins.”
“Mr. Collins.” Mrs. Bennet shuddered. “Better Mary has to live with him than me …” Her eyes lit up. “Jane, do you suppose that Mary spends her nights with Mr. Collins?”
“Mama!”
“Well then she would not need to take my rooms!”
“Oh, Mama!” Jane sighed.
“I think that I should write to Lizzy, wherever she is, and tell her that since Mr. Bingley will not rent a house in Town, that it is her responsibility to host us all next Season in London. It is the least she can do after I encouraged Mr. Darcy towards her as I did. After all, if her father had his way she would be the one moving into my rooms.” Mrs. Bennet looked around. “Heaven knows what she would choose as decoration.”
“Jane?”
“I am in here, Charles.” Jane stood and went to the doorway to meet him. Seeing the state of the room, he smiled reassuringly at Mrs. Bennet.
“You look very well, Mother Bennet. Your dress is very fine.”
Immediately the miserable woman brightened, “Do you really like it?” She brushed over the dull black bombazine. “I must wear this for a year, so I thought that I would not skimp on the fabric. Of course I knew that Mr. Collins would never wish to pay for my mourning clothes, so I made sure that I ordered everything well in advance. I do not know what I will do when it is over, surely fashions will have changed greatly. I do hope that someone will be kind and pay for my things …”
Bingley knew where this was heading and thought of his sisters’ spending habits. “Mrs. Bennet, since you ordered so much, I am sure that the money you save not buying clothes during your mourning will surely be enough to buy a whole new wonderful wardrobe for your coming out.”
“My coming out!” She tittered. “Mr. Bingley you are a sweet talker!”
“So I have been told.” He smiled at Jane, who was blushing. “Now, shall we go down and await Mary and Collins?”
“No … no, I will just sit here a while longer.” Mrs. Bennet’s handkerchief reappeared. “I asked Hill for my salts ages ago.”
“They are in your new room, Mama.” Jane said gently. Mrs. Bennet looked at her and began sobbing.
“Come on, Jane.” Bingley tugged her arm and led her to the stairs.
“Oh Charles, should I leave her? She was so upset …”
“She did not look upset, she looked like she was asking for a handout.” Bingley kissed her hand and they sat down in the drawing room. “Your mother reminds me a great deal of my sisters, particularly Caroline, who used to shop to make herself feel better.”
“Caroline had no problem thinking well of herself, Charles.”
“She was not married, nor sought. And Darcy did not want her.”
“He wanted Lizzy.”
“And he got her.”
“But why would nobody want Caroline?”
“Jane, there are far more heiresses than men to marry them, it is a buyer’s market.” He smiled at her, “Not that I was looking.”
“Why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free.” Jane mused. Bingley stared and she blushed. “Mama said that about Lizzy and Mr. Darcy when she would let him kiss her. Mama thought that Lizzy captured his attention that way.” When his brow creased, Jane rushed on, “Lydia liked the sound of it.”
“Lydia likes the sound of anything that has to do with men.” Bingley sighed. “Where is she?”
“She was helping to move Mama’s things, but she spends most of her time hiding in her room. She hates being in black and says that she will not appear in public until she can at least be in half-mourning. She is quite upset with Papa for dying and keeping her from going to Brighton.”
“Wait until she realizes she cannot go dancing either.” Bingley shook his head. “You know Darcy wrote to me that he thought it was excellent news.”
“Yes, Lizzy did the same.” Jane sat nervously twisting her handkerchief. “Kitty has become so quiet. I think that she is very afraid of Mr. Collins coming to live here.”
“I imagine all three of the ladies are. That might explain some of their nerves.” He smiled and put his hand over hers. “I do not know your mother very well so I really should not judge her. Do you think that she is more upset about her husband’s death or the change to her life?”
“I never understood Mama and Papa. I did not know if what we saw was a show and what they had in private was very different, or if Papa laughed at her all of the time. I just do not know. It makes me appreciate you all the more, Charles.” She smiled at him and he beamed. “You are the same sweet man no matter the circumstances.”
“And you are always my angel.” Bingley kissed her.
“Lizzy said that Mama will probably seem unsettled for a long time while she tries to find her place. I had not really thought about it until she wrote to me, but she said that Mama has been Mistress of Longbourn for so long, that she does not know what else to do anymore. She was Mrs. Thomas Bennet. She has never really been just herself before. And she said that Mr. Collins is so different from Papa. They could do whatever they liked with him, but Mr. Collins will be very proud of his new position and since he has visited so often, they can imagine what it will be like with him as the head of the household.”
“Elizabeth has the ability to look at the situation as a whole, since she is not here living it every day.” Bingley mused and saw Jane frowning. “Jane dear, I know that you are very sad, and miss your father terribly …” Her mouth opened and closed, and her brow creased. “Do you?”
“I … I had not thought about it. I miss him … Oh, I sound terrible!” Her hand went to her mouth.
“You were not very close.” He said understandingly.
“I spent more time with him these past months than I did over the whole of my life. He was always teasing and I did not know what to say. But I did what I had to. I wish that Lizzy had been here, she would have taken care of everything. He wanted her, not me.” She looked to the chair where Mr. Bennet had always commanded the room when he joined the family. Her eyes filled with tears. Bingley put his arms around her. “Charles, how can I feel so terrible now? Why am I the only one who seems to feel this way? Even though Papa is gone I still feel like I must help everyone prepare for Mr. Collins coming.”
“You do not live here anymore sweetheart. I wonder if Elizabeth is as sad as you are.” Weighing his words carefully, he spoke softly, “When my parents died, I thought of a thousand things that I wished they had told me, and realized that I will never have those questions answered. Father was so focussed on being the man to bring our family out of trade and to be a gentleman that he had no time for me, so I did not know him very well, and then suddenly, he was gone.” His eyes brightened. “I believe that he worked himself to death, and it was all for something he never achieved.”
“Oh Charles, but you will fulfil his dream.”
“It is his dream, not mine. I think that I would have been just as happy following his footsteps in Scarborough. But then I would not have met you.” He hugged her. “I am just saying that … after my father died, I felt very sad for losing the man I wished I had known better but who never had time for me, and in some ways, I think that your father was the same way with you. And you miss that now.”
“And Mama cannot dwell upon Papa because she knows that she must face this new man taking over her home.” She took his handkerchief and wiped her eyes.
“Jane, let us go on a trip.”
“A trip! Oh Charles, but I am in mourning, and Mama needs me, and Kitty and Lydia …”
“I am not suggesting that we leave this minute, but once Mary and Collins settle in, I think that you
and I should remove ourselves from the area. The residents of Longbourn must find their new way of living, and frankly, your mother must not become dependent on us. So I propose that we travel to Scarborough and you can meet the rest of my family, and then we can go visit the Darcys in Scotland. How does that sound?”
“Go to see Lizzy?” Jane said softly.
“I see that visiting her is more interesting than meeting my extended family.” Bingley laughed when she blushed. “I want to see Darcy, too. I miss him, and I am afraid that this is the limit of my seriousness.”
“I do not believe that.”
“Oh no, do believe that.” He looked to the window. “They are here.”
“Well.” Jane stood and brushed out her skirts. “Shall we welcome the new Master and Mistress of Longbourn?”
“Certainly.” Standing up, he kissed her. “And I think that I should fulfil my father’s dream and make you the Mistress of … somewhere.”
“Netherfield?”
“I would have to purchase it, and it is not for sale, only for lease.” He shrugged. “Father wanted to be a landowner, not a leaser.”
“Well then, if you are determined to take me travelling, maybe that could be our purpose, besides visiting relatives.”
“That sounds wonderful.” He took her hand and they walked out to the foyer where they watched Collins, talking a mile a minute while he helped Mary down. Mary patted his shoulder and he stopped, and taking her arm he assumed a sombre countenance. Bingley looked at Jane and they both smiled. “I think that Mr. Collins is excited.”
“And I think that Mary knows how to calm him.” She looked up to the top of the stairs where her mother and sisters peered down at them. “Maybe it will not be so bad for them.”
“Now that is my Jane.”
“MR. FITZWILLIAM.” The housekeeper announced and Richard stepped into the drawing room where the entire Kelly family was gathered. Immediately years of experience were set to work and he read the protective posture of the men.