by Wells, Linda
“To teach her how fortunate she is.”
“And how fortunate Hope is. She has a safe and loving home with your parents.”
“Yes.” Samuel said quietly and hesitating, he looked to Elizabeth and down to his boots.
“Out with it, Mr. Darcy.”
He laughed softly, “You see through me easily.”
“I care about you, so of course I do.” Their eyes met and nodding, he looked down again. She smiled to see his shyness appear and Samuel looked up with surprise when Elizabeth slipped her hand around his arm.
Gently, she asked, “How do you come to be creeping upon me in my garden?”
“I stopped inside and your husband sent me here to walk with you.”
“How did he know?” Elizabeth closed her eyes and smiled. “Of course he knows.”
“I think that he was mad to come join you, he seemed worried.” Examining her closely, his brow creased, “You look so very tired.”
“Samuel, a bit of advice, when you do find a girl to woo, remarking on circles under her eyes will not impress her.” Laughing, he blushed. “We are friends and family, so I will excuse you.” She squeezed his arm. “This time.”
“I am hopeless.” Smiling at her again, he studied her face. “Why do I always seem to find you in tears, and never when you are full of joy?”
“Did it occur to you that sometimes tears are happy?”
“Not in my experience.”
“Well, now you have had a new experience, besides the one of not answering my question. So, Mr. Samuel Darcy, you need to talk and you are willing to speak to me about it, not your cousin or your father, so it is an issue where you wish for a woman’s opinion. And you do not approach your mother, so it must be something that involves her … unless you have met someone …” Elizabeth bit her lip and watched his eyes crinkle in the identical way that Darcy’s did. “Is it about Hope?”
“I will not make it a game. It is about Father. He is a man I do not know anymore. I find that I … I do not know how to take him anymore.” He sighed and looked down at her hand on his arm. “It seems that as long as I can remember, I was forever working to win the slightest bit of approval from him, or acknowledgment. I feared him, not in the sense of him injuring me, but as you fear God. Does that make sense?”
“Certainly.” Elizabeth nodded and held his gaze. “And now this baby arrives and he is different?”
“Transformed. I am not jealous of her, after all, her sole contribution is … well all she does is …” His hand waved and Elizabeth was hard-pressed not to laugh as again she saw her husband. “I am not jealous of an infant!”
“Good, because she will only grow and earn more of his attention. Of course, by then you will be married with a child of your own.”
“I doubt that somehow.”
“You will find someone wonderful, Samuel. Someone to love who loves you dearly.” Elizabeth promised. He nodded and did not look at her. “Now as for your father, his change from the man I first met in December is remarkable. I cannot imagine the struggle he endured to become the … gentleman who presents himself to the world now.” Samuel’s head turned back to her. “Should you not be celebrating that change? I sense that he wants very much to be close to you, but it is you who shies away. Do you want that demanding man back? I think that he felt deeply for you, but he held you at arm’s length, treating you more as a spectacular student rather than a son he loved, simply because he could no longer open his heart. It was more comfortable to be that way than to love you openly. I believe that he would have smothered you otherwise. He was doing his best to give you the wings to fly. And now … well, he has come through the desert and through the wilderness, and you are meeting the man that your mother accepted with all of her heart. Did you ever wonder why your mother would marry such a hard man?”
“Yes.” He sighed and shook his head. “I pondered that too many times to count. They are so different from each other … why would she?”
“It was because he was not always hard.” She saw the disbelief in his eyes and squeezed his arm. “I think that you feel guilt that you were unable to make him feel himself, and now you feel … maybe a tad resentful that Georgiana’s child can?”
“I feel like an absolute failure!” His eyes brightened as he cried out angrily. “What was wrong with me?”
She clutched his arm and spoke sincerely, “Nothing! Not a thing! You know what my father wished for me, do you not?”
“Yes.”
Elizabeth pressed his handkerchief back into his hand. “That was not my fault, was it? It was his selfishness, entirely. Your father grew up … I have read your grandmother’s journal, your father was always seen as weak, imperfect …” Samuel’s eyes opened wide. “Is that how you felt?”
“Yes.”
“Perhaps when your brothers and sisters died, he reverted to what he knew. But what matters is not the past, but the present. He wants so much to be a better man. Fitzwilliam and I talked about him at length recently. Whatever sins he committed in his past, he is attempting to atone for them. I think that he would love dearly if you would give him that chance.”
“I would like to.” Samuel bowed his head. “I do not know how, and expressing emotion is unacceptable.”
“That is ridiculous. You are not a soldier on the battlefield trying to show the enemy that you are strong. You are a son afraid of opening your heart and being hurt again.”
Samuel nearly barked at her. “Were you not devastated when you learned your father’s plans?”
“Yes, and I never returned home again to see him off to heaven.” She said heatedly.
Samuel’s mouth opened and closed, and then he asked gently, “Do you regret that?”
Elizabeth spoke honestly, “I truly do not. We found our peace and he was too ill to ever come and see what Fitzwilliam has given me through his love and devotion. Our end was as it had to be, even if nobody else in my family understands that.”
“But I have the opportunity to forgive and trust, and repair the damage.” He said slowly.
“Damage that occurred through no fault of your own.” She said emphatically. “He is atoning for his mistakes, whatever they may be. He may not ever succeed to his, yours, or God’s satisfaction, but the fact is that he is sincerely trying, and it is your soul that is saved by letting him do so. Accept his tentative advances and see what comes of it.”
Samuel nodded and drawing a deep breath, swallowed down the lump in his throat. Eventually, he found his voice again as he looked out over the land. “I love this place as dearly as he does, maybe even as much as William does.”
“Is that really possible?” Elizabeth smiled and squeezed his arm.
“Probably not.” He relaxed. “I wonder if I should leave, and take up rooms in Lambton.”
“To create distance between you and your father?”
“Perhaps I will appreciate him more that way? If I do not see him daily, I will see the changes more clearly?”
“I cannot answer that.” She said softly.
“Why not? You answer everything else.” He teased gently.
“We were talking about absent fathers, that subject I know well.” She smiled at the face that was so similar, but still so different from the man she loved.
“I should have stolen you away when we met.” He said only half-jokingly.
Elizabeth’s head shook. “No. You were not the man for me.”
“I look like him.” He said defiantly, but with a smile.
“That is not what I meant; you were so different when we met. I liken it to what Fitzwilliam experienced after his father died, what a transformation that must have been to witness, but it left him as a man for me to meet, and that is who I wanted.”
Samuel laughed, “You are so good at rebuffing my admiration in the nicest of ways.”
“That is because I love the compliment of your affections, but I know that you would never act upon them, and I know that I am not the girl for you
.”
“Besides being married already?”
“An important point, but yes.” She laughed.
“Why then?”
“Because I believe in fate. This entire year, everything that has happened, good or bad, has to be fated.” Elizabeth’s eyes sparkled. “Fitzwilliam knows all about your admiration and he tolerates it because he knows that he has nothing to worry about, and because he hopes that you find someone as wonderful as me one fine day.”
“As wonderful as you, eh?” Samuel’s smile grew. “How big is your head, Mrs. Darcy?”
“Must I list out my accomplishments? Fitzwilliam only knows six other women as well-educated.” She said with feigned boredom.
“I suspect that he made that number up to tease you.” Samuel chuckled and grinned when her eyes widened in surprise. “I believe that I am too young for you in any case.”
“It is true, you are. I like my men with a bit of gray at the temples.”
“Oh Lord, do not tell William!”
“Of course not! He already has a few gray hairs from the misery he has borne this year.” Elizabeth laughed and smiling, she stood up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Do you feel better?”
“I knew that I would when I spoke to you. That is why I sought you out.”
“I am glad. You always make me feel better, too.”
“Thank you for telling me that.” He smiled and at last relaxed. “So, when will you make my most fortunate and admired cousin the happiest of men and give him a child to dote upon?”
Elizabeth sighed, “As soon as I am able.”
“Good. I look forward to him as a fool. It will be a new vision of him.”
“Then you cannot move away from Pemberley!” She said triumphantly.
“You are not moving away, are you?” Georgiana’s voice cried.
Samuel spun around and the smile was wiped away from his face. “No, of course not, dear.”
“He suddenly changed his tune.” Darcy was walking with his sister and he moved to Elizabeth’s side. His gaze swept over her and slipping his hand around her waist, he drew her close. “Are you enjoying your conversation?”
“Very much.” She smiled up at him.
“Was it really necessary to kiss him?” He said softly as he held her tighter.
Elizabeth laughed. “As a matter of fact, it was, besides, you sent him to me, if you recall. I was wondering how long it would be before you appeared. When did you notice me walking? Or did one of our loyal servants whisper in your ear?” Darcy’s eyes twinkled. “Did you claim Georgiana’s hand so you would not appear the jealous fool, striding down here to take possession?”
“You were teasing me!” He stared.
“I did no such thing! I would not use dear Samuel as a means to bother you.”
“Yes, you would!”
Elizabeth saw Samuel talking with Georgiana, and laughing, wrapped her arms around Darcy’s waist. “No, I would not, but I love bothering you.”
“I will bother you this evening.” Darcy growled.
“Promise?”
One brow crooked upwards, “Will you remain awake?”
“Will you give me reason to?” Elizabeth challenged.
“I believe that I can manage it.” Leaning down he spoke softly against her ear, “What did he speak to you about? His father?”
“How did you know?”
“I had been hoping that he would.” Darcy hugged her and looked up at the ridge. “Here they come.”
Elizabeth turned to look. “Oh, my.”
Darcy felt all of the confidence melting away from her. “What is wrong, dearest?” Slipping his arms around her waist, he drew her back against his chest and held her hands. “Have Jane’s letters upset you so much?” When he heard no response, he hugged her. “Why?”
“Because she is my elder sister, and she is everything that I am not.”
“Truer statements I have never heard.” Darcy pressed his mouth against her ear. “May I point out that you, my love, are everything that she is not?”
“I am not one to behave with pride.” Darcy snorted and she spun around. “I am not! When did I last?”
“When you dressed down Anne for daring to look at me.” He grinned. “I heard every word of that conversation, love.”
“You did?” Elizabeth gasped.
“Do you truly think that I would have run away and left you alone with her? Who knows what she might have done!” He glanced away to check on his sister and cousin and whispered, “You threatened to scratch her eyes out if she looked at me with desire …”
“That is not pride! That is … possession!” She declared.
“Forgive me. But you spoke of possession to her, too, what was it …? Ah yes, she spoke of you taking me away from her, and you said that you captured what was never hers in the first place.”
“I was defending you.”
“Do you know what I loved most about that fascinating conversation you had with her?”
“I will not dare to imagine.” Elizabeth was blushing under the intensity of his stare.
“You said that nobody respected my opinion, nor considered my feelings in their plans to marry me to Anne. You said that she had no right to be hurt by my rejection if I was not allowed to feel equally hurt by her presumption.” His eyes were dark with admiration and desire. “You fought for me.”
Her blush deepened as his grip tightened, “I did not need to; she confessed that she needed to hear everything that you said to her. And that she was not trying to seduce you. You addressed everything. My words were unnecessary.”
“I disagree. I loved hearing what you said, and especially towards the end when you said that she had better not want me over her husband, because you rather love your Will.” His smile was glowing in his eyes. “I rather love my Lizzy.”
“What …” She shivered under the overwhelming and wordless expression of his passion for her. “What … what does this have to do with pride, or my sister, or … anything?”
“When I speak of you having pride, I do not speak of arrogance or conceit. I mean dignity and honour. Your defence of me before Anne announced clearly how you feel about me and our marriage to one who threatened it from ever happening.”
“I … I could not help myself.” She looked down and he shook his head, lifting her chin.
“You honour me with your protection and love. We are merely temporary caretakers of this beautiful place. By caring for all that it encompasses and each other, we are humbly fulfilling our duty. Do not allow jealousy or simple ignorance to shake your obvious and iron-clad resolve to be Elizabeth Darcy, the Mistress of Pemberley. You are not Elizabeth Bennet any longer, dear. You are not the unwanted second daughter. You are … my love.”
“Oh, my.”
Darcy’s gaze travelled over her face, and smiling, he wiped her cheeks with his thumb. “I would kiss you as you deserve, but I believe that Samuel and Georgiana would fall to the ground in shock.” Gently, he turned her head so that she could see the two cousins gaping at them. “Have you never seen happy tears before?”
Samuel laughed, breaking the spell. “Good Lord, William. I thought that you were strong, but silent.”
“Why?” Elizabeth at last blinked and laughed, resting her head against Darcy’s chest to hear his thumping heart and sinking into his embrace. “He had to woo me somehow, besides using his smouldering stare.” She looked up at him. “Although that was rather effective.”
“Yes, you thought that I hated you, most effective.” He laughed and noticing his sister, his head tilted.
“Georgiana?” Elizabeth said quietly.
“Oh …” She blushed. “I am sorry, I … I have barely become used to you teasing each other …”
“I promise you, I will not make great declarations of love before witnesses again.” Darcy’s gaze returned to Elizabeth. “That is better done in private.” He tenderly touched his lips to hers and then rested his cheek on top of her head. “Here they c
ome.”
“Mmm.”
“Lizzy …”
“I know, but I will be Mistress for quite some time. Let me enjoy just being Lizzy for a few moments longer.” Darcy’s chuckle rumbled through his chest.
The carriage rolled down the drive and Bingley pointed out the foursome. Eyes fixed on the manor moved to the group in the garden, and were treated at that moment to Georgiana and Samuel waving and walking towards them, while Darcy and Elizabeth walked hand in hand, and paused for a kiss.
“Look at them, in public like that!” Caroline stared. “Shocking!”
“Well, it is their home.” Hurst pointed out.
“It seems that the honeymoon continues.” Louisa sighed.
“So it does.” Bingley laughed and looked to Jane. “They seem very happy.”
“Yes …” Her gaze turned to the house as the carriage drew to a halt.
By the time that the door was opened and they stepped down, the Darcys had arrived. Elizabeth held her husband’s arm and he was standing tall, his slight smile was in place and his chin lifted with pride. Catching the mischievous twinkle in his eye, Elizabeth laughed and returning her gaze to her guests, said confidently, “Welcome to Pemberley, welcome to our home.”
Chapter 36
“There you are. Your mother saw you riding up and dashed off to the kitchen to order you a plate. I told her that you probably ate up at the manor.” Harding smiled as Samuel entered the drawing room and took a seat. Hope was standing up in his lap and gnawing on his shoulder. Her bright blue eyes were wide and she stared at Samuel, following him around the room before returning her attention to the growing wet spot on her parent’s formally immaculate coat.
“Is she hungry?” Samuel asked with a small smile.
Harding tilted his head back to watch the busy girl. “I imagine she might be working on a first tooth.”
“Already? She is not that old.”
“Sometimes it takes months for them to work their way out. These are dangerous times for a child.” He said soberly. “Many a babe has died as their teeth came in.”