“Can you come in for a bit?” Raif asks at the same time.
“Sorry,” I begin, but once again he speaks at the same time, this time saying the same thing I did.
I grin at him. “Jinx.” That seems to break the tension that was brewing in him. His barely-there grin makes an appearance and I relax.
“C’mon inside with me and I’ll give you a coke.” His voice is low, his blue-green eyes glowing with some intent I can’t pinpoint. I laugh, the childhood joke at odds with his low, husky voice in the small confines of the truck.
I open and close my mouth, considering my own motives as I watch his bright eyes twinkling at me. “I can come in, I suppose.” He smiles at me like he just won the lottery and my heart thumps a little faster in my chest.
He’s out and around to my side of the truck before I’ve unbuckled my seatbelt. I blink at him, surprised when he opens my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me down, threading our fingers together as we take the short walk to his front door. Once inside, he nudges me towards the sofa and smiles almost shyly at me, which is insane but still makes my breath catch in my chest.
“Sit. I’ll get us a couple beers.” His voice shakes a little and I flop down onto the sofa gracelessly. I have no idea what’s going on here. I’m a little concerned Raif has lost his mind. Or he has something horrible to tell me? Disturbing possibilities start piling up in my mind while he moves to the stereo system and flips on the local country station. Kane Brown’s voice fills the room and Raif joins me on the sofa. He twists the top off a bottle of Michelob and hands it to me.
“Thank you,” I murmur, and then take a long pull from my bottle as he twists his own top off. I watch his throat work as he follows my lead, swallowing down half the bottle in one gulp. He’s sitting so close that our knees are touching, and I can feel the heat of him through the worn denim of his jeans against my bare skin. Everything about him has all my senses on overload.
He sets his bottle down on a coaster on the coffee table in front of us and turns to me. I take another quick drink and set my own bottle down. He looks so nervous, it’s making me nervous.
“Are you okay?” I ask. Clearly, he’s working up to telling me something awful. I just have to make myself hear it. Maybe then I can help him through whatever it is.
He blushes and reaches out and tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear, making me shiver. “I—yeah. I just wanted to explain about earlier.” He runs his knuckles over my jaw, grazes his thumb over my bottom lip and my pulse stutters.
I swallow, working to bring moisture into my mouth. “O-okay.”
His eyes are hooked on my mouth, watching his thumb sweep over my lips and then slipping down to my chin. “I was jealous,” he croaks out.
I want to ask him if he’s suffered a stroke or some other neurological event, but I don’t think he’d take that well. If he keeps touching me, though, I’m going to melt into a puddle on his couch. “Raif—” I manage and then his thumb is stroking a feather light path up my throat, his fingers cupping the back of my neck, and I forget how to talk.
“I’ve been so close to telling you so many times the last few weeks.” His voice is soft, his eyes on mine now.
I blink at him. My brain is numb. I don’t understand. Jealous? Why is he jealous? What has he wanted to tell me?
“Tell me what?” My heart is thudding out of control, and I think I might be on fire. It’s so hot in here suddenly.
“I want you so bad,” he says softly. My brain short circuits, my body freezing in shock as he moves closer and settles his mouth over mine. Fireworks explode in the pit of my stomach as his hand moves into my hair, tilting my head back so he can deepen the kiss. Raif slips his tongue between my lips, sliding it against mine and jump-starting my body into action.
My hands move from their limp flop in my lap. One finds its way into Raif’s silky blonde hair. The other fists in the front of his t-shirt, hanging on to him like he might disappear if I let go. I know I should stop him. I should stop kissing him back. I should definitely stop the needy breathless sounds that keep escaping from within me. But I can’t. I’ve wanted this closeness with him for too long. Knowing he wants me too is heady. Even after I told him he’d better be sure if he ever kissed me again, he’s kissing me. I can’t deny either of us this experience. Even if it’s only for a night, I’ll take the heartbreak that could follow if I get to share this with him.
Raif kisses me like he’ll die if he stops. His tongue dances masterfully with mine, exploring my mouth and making me dizzy with want. I give up on sanity and just let myself get swept away in the sensations he’s bringing to life in me. His mouth breaks from mine and I whimper, wanting his lips back on mine. His eyes blaze down at me, blue-green fire and he groans, trailing scorching kisses along my jaw. My head lists to the side automatically granting him access to whatever part of my body he’s interested in. His mouth finds its way to my neck, nipping and sucking and my hands tighten on him in response, my body trembling with need. Eager lips seek out my ear, his teeth closing gently on the lobe and I gasp, arching into him.
“Is this okay?” Raif rasps into my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “I don’t want to go too fast for you. I want you to be sure about us.”
All my feeble worries disappear with his words. This is Raif and I know there’s not a dishonorable bone in his body. No matter what, we’ll get through whatever results from this bout of possible insanity. I hold his eyes as he waits patiently for me to respond. Leaning in, I do what I’ve longed to a million times over the course of our friendship. I kiss him softly. He follows my mouth as I pull away, trying to stay in the kiss longer. Reveling in the fantasy that’s coming to life right now, I move my fingers lightly over his face.
“I’m sure, Raif.” I trace his cheekbones, the slight arch of his eyebrows, his jaw, my fingers shaking. The feel of the scruff of his beard under my touch makes me smile as I whisper, still holding his gaze. “I want you, too.”
Raif’s answering smile is incandescent. In a heartbeat, his mouth is back on mine, both of his hands in my hair. This kiss is almost feverish, his mouth hungry on mine, his fingers moving deftly in my long hair as he works it out of its ponytail. My mouth is open under his, my hands clutching at his shoulders as my head spins from his kisses. Suddenly, Raif pulls his mouth from mine, dropping hot kisses on my neck before he stands. He moves so fast, I almost fall off the couch, my body was leaning so heavily into his. He pulls me to my feet and then scoops me into his arms before I even have a chance to protest the motion. He carries me into his bedroom, laying me down gently on top of the quilt.
“I’ve wanted you here with me forever.” His eyes move over me and I feel it like a physical caress even though I’m still fully clothed. I reach for him, unwilling to wait to touch him now that this is happening.
“I’m here now.” I tell him, as he kneels on the bed. “Come here,” I demand, and lean up to meet him halfway as he hovers over me.
“Yes ma’am,” he drawls before claiming my mouth with a searing kiss. For a few glorious, hot moments, all I can do is feel as our hands explore each other’s bodies for the first time. Our mouths fuse together for long moments, sharing breath. Our hands are eager, any trace of hesitance gone. I pull his tee shirt over his head and toss it behind him. He’s perfect, his muscles defined but not overtly so, and I run my hands over his naked torso, learning the texture of his warm skin. Raif holds himself still as I trace ridges of muscles, letting me explore. When my hands reach his stomach, he groans, and I freeze. I’m shocked that my touch could elicit such a response.
“You’re beautiful,” I tell him sincerely, looking in his eyes. He flushes and shakes his head at me. He leans in, kissing me sweetly.
“I’m nothing special compared to you, Chloe,” he says against my mouth.
Frowning, I shiver and kiss him again. “I think you know I don’t believe that’s true.” I lean up slightly, so our foreheads are touching. “I think yo
u are perfect.”
He kisses me like I’m all that’s real in the world. His hands tangle in my hair as he presses me back against the bed, letting his weight settle on me. I wrap my arms around his trunk and hang on tight to him. His fingers sift through the length of my hair, following strands down my chest as he kisses me breathless. His hand rests next to my head to hold him up, the other begins exploring my chest over my worn flannel shirt. He unties the knot at my waist and begins unbuttoning the shirt from the bottom, his fingers skimming underneath against my bare skin after each button comes undone. He’s setting me on fire a few inches at a time.
When he’s unfastened all the buttons, he pulls back just a little, straddling my hips and peeling the sides of the shirt apart like he’s unwrapping a gift. His gaze is reverential as his eyes move over my simple black lace bra. His hand settles warm and large on my stomach and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth to stop a moan from escaping. He slides his hand up, cupping my breasts through my bra, making my breath come faster. He’s watching my face when he unclasps the front closure and slides his hands under both loosened cups. He fills his hands with my breasts, testing their weight, playing with my nipples until they’re tight and straining for even more attention from him. His eyes never leave mine.
My lip stays clamped between my teeth until he leans down, his hands still fondling my chest. He nips playfully at my lower lip. “Does this feel good, Chloe Jane? When I touch you like this?” His voice is like velvet against my overstimulated senses.
My face flushes at the question but I hold his eyes as I admit, “Yes.”
He grins that barely- there grin that melts my heart. He kisses me, more demanding now as he peels the bra down my shoulders. Raif breaks the kiss to say, “Sit up for me.”
I do as he bids me, sitting up, feeling dazed and exposed as he slides the shirt and then the bra from my arms and lets them both fall to the floor next to the bed. I’m naked from the waist up now and I can feel his eyes seemingly memorizing every detail of the flesh on display. He presses me back down, his hands everywhere as his mouth claims mine. I run my hands over his naked back, down to his hips and then back up again. I hook one of my legs around his hip to keep him flush against me.
His fingers are playing at the waist of my denim skirt, then his hand skirts the top of my panties and my brain kicks in for half a second to wonder what condition those panties are in. Hopefully they’re respectable because I blink and he’s pulling my skirt off my hips. I look down and see I’m wearing the black lace bikini panties that match the simple bra. Oh good. Nothing embarrassing then.
Raif pulls my skirt all the way off my legs and lets it slip from his fingers as he sits back on his haunches at the foot of the bed. His blue-green gaze is moving up and over my body and he looks almost awed at what he’s seeing.
“I never thought I’d ever be this lucky.” He murmurs, climbing back up the bed and situating himself with one leg between mine and one on the other side. His hands are on my thighs, moving up over my hips and he drops a hot wet kiss on my inner thigh. I squirm restlessly. His hands travel north over my panties, up to my ribs and over my breasts. He sighs, his touch slow and deliberate. “Your skin is like silk.”
I swallow hard, my breathing going wonky at his words, his touch, and the husky sincerity I hear in his voice. “Raif…” I begin but I don’t know what to say and become overwhelmed by the emotions swirling inside me.
He looks down at me and smiles, like he understands. “If you change your mind at any time, you just say stop. Promise me.”
“I don’t want to stop. I won’t want to stop.” I feel like I’ve never spoken a truer sentence in my life.
Raif meets my eyes and braces himself above me again, lowering his mouth to my stomach while holding my gaze. My breath catches while he kisses a hot path up my body, pausing for a long moment at my breasts. His mouth closes around my flesh, his teeth grazing my nipple, and I feel the pleasure everywhere. He treats my other breast to the same treatment and I whimper, squirming beneath him. My hands pull at his hair as I go liquid and hot at once. I tug him up to kiss my mouth as my hands wander over his body.
We kiss with abandon, our bodies pressing closer together. I reach between us to work at his heavy leather belt. I want it off, all of it. I want him naked and pressed against me. I want him inside me. I want him shaking and calling out my name. And I don’t think I have ever wanted anything this bad before.
I get his belt unbuckled, unzip his jeans and then my hand is inside. I run my fingers over the hot, hard length of him over the boxer briefs he wears. He groans out my name and freezes with his hand on my hip. He bites at my neck when I slip my hand inside his underwear, finally finding his bare skin with my own. He pushes into my hand, throbbing for me. I moan softly, and he breathes harder against my neck.
“I want you now,” I admit, still stroking him.
He groans again and pulls his face out of my neck to look in my eyes. His hand slips inside my panties and the room goes hazy around me when his fingers slide against my center. He’s grinning now as he touches me slow and torturous. I hold his eyes as I keep stroking him despite the pleasure he’s building inside me. His thumb slips over my nub and I moan. His mouth comes down on mine again, biting at my lips, seeking to devour me. I move my hand out of his pants to get them off.
He moves his hips back out of my reach, so I can’t maneuver his jeans off his hips and I growl at him. He chuckles at me, the sound doing nothing to tamp down the need zinging through me. One of his thick fingers slips inside me as he whispers right in my ear, “My pants aren’t coming off until I’m sure you’re ready for me, Chloe Jane.”
I groan, gasping out a, “Please—” as a second finger slips inside me, his thumb still making me crazy from the outside. His fingers thrust deeper. Is he kidding? I don’t think I can get any readier for him at this point.
He moans when I beg, drops down to bring one of my nipples into the wet heat of his mouth. My hips move with his ministrations, my hands fisted in the quilt beneath me. And then I break, my body shattering into bliss. The world goes fuzzy as I lay there panting and shaking with the aftershocks.
Raif claims my mouth in a searing kiss, his hand still in my panties, his fingers still inside me. He says against my mouth, “That was beautiful. Thank you.”
I blush and smile at him. “I’ll have a sassy reply for you once my brain starts working again.”
He grins and kisses me again, removing his fingers from inside me. He slides my panties down, following their descent until he pulls them off my ankles. I sit up, following him, reaching for his jeans to get them off, too, and he lets me push him onto his back on the bed. I tug his jeans and boxer briefs off and then straddle his hips, leaning down to kiss his mouth. While I’m distracted by his mouth, I feel him reaching for something. I pull back and see he has a foil packet in his hand. I’m glad one of us is thinking at least.
He surprises me, turning the tables, rolling us over until I’m on my back again, with him above me. He sits back from me a moment and I watch him as he rolls the condom on. I blink and he’s kissing me again. He presses me back against the bed and follows me down, his weight pleasant on me. Raif hooks my knee around his hip, his hand under my thigh supporting it as he enters me. We both moan as he fills me perfectly, both soothing the ache that’s been building and making it worse. He rests a moment, his hips still, his forehead pressed to mine as we share breath, panting into each other’s open mouths. We’re staring into each other’s eyes, adjusting to this new development between us, so many things being said without a word being spoken aloud.
Like some internal alarm sounds, our mouths fuse together once again as his hips finally move. A timeless dance begins between our bodies, the night dissolving around us in heat and pleasure.
I wake up a little at a time. I’m so comfortable, I don’t want to move a muscle. I’m warm, but I don’t feel my familiar comforter wrapped around me. And I had the most
deliciously naughty dreams. I don’t want them to end. I stretch and feel my body rejoice, sliding against a warm, very male form. I open my eyes and find the golden hair of my best friend on the pillow next to me. Not a dream then.
He’s still asleep so I can study him unchecked. He looks peaceful and beautiful in sleep. All around me I can smell us – sex, sweat, my shampoo, his cologne. It’s a heady combination. Raif has me cradled against his chest while he sleeps like I’m a live teddy bear. I don’t mind. I reflect on all the carefully drawn lines we hopscotched over last night, more than once. But rather than the fear I was sure would overwhelm me, there’s a sense of rightness. A peace inside me. Maybe it’s physical satisfaction? I don’t know, but I like it.
I reach over and run my fingers through Raif’s hair, pushing it off his face. He smiles in his sleep and murmurs my name and my heart swells to twice its normal size. I press a soft kiss to his lips and he returns it without opening his eyes. I smile against his mouth and he kisses me again.
“Mornin’, Chloe Jane,” he says, then yawns hugely. “I could get used to waking up like this, smelling you on my sheets and your hair tickling my nose.”
I giggle and then we both hear it, someone’s letting themselves in the front door. My first horrified thought is it’s Pippa, but then I remember that I had the locks changed after she left Raif at the altar. Then Luke’s voice bellows from the other room.
“Get your ass out of bed, Montgomery,” he calls, but not in his usual jovial tone.
I freeze, staring wordlessly at Raif. He pulls the quilt up and covers me, then slips out of bed, grabbing his jeans off the floor and pulling them on. He zips them but leaves them unbuttoned. “I’m up,” he calls back to Luke. “You could’ve called. Or knocked.” There’s something wrong with his voice, too. He holds up a finger to me, whispers, “Don’t move. I’ll get rid of him.”
I shake my head to disagree with this plan, but he’s already gone. I’m alone wrapped in the quilt that smells of the night we shared. Why would he not want Luke to know? I mean, sure it’s not anyone’s business but ours, but the boys are all like brothers. It’s bound to come out that Raif and I are more than friends now. Unless he doesn’t want to be more than friends after all? Could I have been wrong about his intentions? I know Raif wouldn’t try to hurt me. But he doesn’t know I’ve been in love with him most of my life. He was looking for pleasure from someone he could trust, and I’d built this whole different kind of scenario in my head.
Renegade Heart (Renegades Book 1) Page 7