There’ve been many times I’ve tried to get her to sing with us, but she’s always claimed she’ll leave the singing to the true talents. She just doesn’t see that she is a talent. The girls finish their song to lots of applause, they both curtsey to us, accepting their accolades. Chloe comes back to me with an extra little spring in her step. She looks so happy, her pretty yellow sundress swirling around her legs when I spin her into my arms and hug her.
“You are amazing.” I tell her, sitting down and pulling her onto my lap.
She giggles at me, blushing. “Thanks, I thought we sounded pretty okay. And it was fun.”
I hold her to me, drop a kiss on her bare shoulder and whisper in her ear, “You are amazing.”
She blushes hotter and hides her face in my chest. I grin, caught up for a moment in how happy I am with her in my arms. I kiss the top of her head and look up to find my mother watching us with a soft smile on her face. I smile at her and she returns her attention to her best friend, Paige Benson, Luke’s mother.
From across the yard, Troy’s voice rings out, “But really, Daise. I love you and everything, but you should never sing again. Never. Not even in the shower.” Chloe stiffens in my arms, going on the alert for signs of distress from my sister.
Daisy pouts at him, her cheeks rosy with embarrassment but before she can say anything, Luke speaks up. “Don’t be a dick, Waters.” The formerly happy gathering goes silent for a few beats. Luke doesn’t normally lose his temper. Ever. Lately, though, his usual grin and easygoing attitude have been missing.
Troy frowns at him, but speaks to Daisy, “You know I was kidding, right, sweetheart?” his voice is unusually gentle for him. I know he didn’t mean anything by it or I would’ve been all over him. Or Chloe would, she doesn’t let anyone mess with people she loves. Luke’s the one looking embarrassed now.
Daisy nods, sticking her chin in the air, her cheeks still a bit pink. “Of course.” She glares good-naturedly at Troy. “It was still quite mean of you, though.”
I grin. That’s Daisy all over. She goes to Luke and hugs him. “Thanks for looking out, brother number two.”
“Anything for you, doll face.” Luke says. He looks at Troy, “Sorry.” But Troy just shrugs it away. Typical Troy. Luke looks uncomfortable now, though. I look down at Chloe and find her watching him with a frown on her pretty face.
Mom stands up and claps her hands. “That’ll be enough of all that, I think.” Smiling, she gathers up the empty serving platters in front of her. “I think we’re ready for desserts.” She bustles into the house and I kiss Chloe’s cheek to get her attention off of Luke. He doesn’t need her overly analytical brain worrying over his behavior.
Chloe looks at me, her green eyes worried but gets up off my lap. “I’m gonna help,” she says, laying a kiss on my lips before sashaying away from me. I enjoy watching her go for a moment and then shake myself out of it. I also rise, going over to Luke and sitting next to him. Bran is across the table from us, also looking mildly concerned. Not everyone is as clueless about nuances as Troy is. I put a hopefully comforting hand on Luke’s shoulder. “You okay, brother?” I ask quietly.
Luke huffs at me, again, not in character for him and I remove my hand in response. “I’m fine.” He answers after a moment, lifting his can of Guinness and draining it before setting it back down. When nothing else is forthcoming, Bran raises an eyebrow at me, his dark eyes worried. I shrug one shoulder. Bran sighs and shakes his dark head.
Luke growls at us. “When did you two become a couple of hens worrying over their baby chick? And when the fuck did I become your baby chick?”
Troy laughs but he’s the only one. Bran clears his throat and murmurs, “Uh, when you started taking people’s heads off for having a little fun…that’s when I became a… Hen, you said?”
Luke nods after a moment. “Okay then, I suppose I have to accept that.” He stands and sighs. “I’mma take a walk. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I look at him silently for a moment then murmur. “Make sure you say goodbye to the girls or we’ll never hear the end of it.” He nods before he escapes into the back door of my mother’s house.
Bran glances at me once Luke’s inside and asks, “Is he okay?” He sounds nervous and I don’t blame him. Luke’s the steadiest of us all. Normally. But nowadays he’s a surly bear that stomps around town looking like he wants to hit things.
“I don’t know.” I admit, because it’s true. “We’ll keep an eye on him.”
Mom and Chloe come back out with their arms laden down with bowls and such and Bran and I both get to our feet to help them lighten their loads. Mom unloads the bowl of fresh whipped cream into Bran’s waiting arms, “Oh, thank you, Brandon. Such a gentleman.”
Chloe glares at me. “You can just sit yourself back down, Raif. I’m fine.” But she’s clearly overloaded with the heavy bowl of fresh sugared strawberries cradled in her right arm, and the tray of homemade shortcakes balanced on her left hand. I know she was a waitress before she took over running the Saloon, but I can’t help worrying that she’s going to lose her burdens at any moment. “I mean it.” She reiterates as I hover by her side to catch anything that might fall.
“I know you mean it, and you’re fearsome as all get out. I’m just being cautious. It would be a shame to lose Paige’s delicious treats.” She shoots daggers at me out of her eyes once more and I hold my hands up, staying a step behind her, just in case.
She sets down her cargo and turns to me, small hands planted on the hips I love hanging on to. Her green eyes flash dangerously at me. “You are impossible, you know that?”
I grin at her, flashing my teeth and pull her into my arms, keeping her right up against me. “I know, I’m awful.” I kiss her full on the mouth, ignoring our crowd of onlookers. She’s pliant against me when I pull back a few moments later, there may be some whistling from our friends. I don’t care. All I care about is Chloe. Her mouth hovers inches from mine, still open, as we share breaths.
“Impossible man.” She says again and kisses me once more.
I allow it for a moment and then pull back to say against her mouth, “But you love me.” My grin is wide, daring hers to come out and play and she obliges.
Eyes open, smiling into mine, she kisses me again, then says. “I do indeed.”
The next day, after Chloe leaves for work, I make my way to Luke’s apartment. I hate how upset he is. More than that, I hate that I’m part of the reason he’s so miserable right now. I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone, especially not one of my very best friends. If I thought it would help, if it wouldn’t break Chloe’s heart and my own, I’d try and end our relationship. But it’s too late for that now and honestly, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to pull it off anyway.
Now that Chloe and I have begun dating, now that I’ve told her how I feel, kissed and touched her and slept with her in my arms all night long, I’d never be able to give her up. Not for anything in the world. I’m smart enough to know that I’m better with her than I’ve ever been without her. She makes me a better man. Stronger and more complete. I could never let her go. Not even for Luke.
I knock on Luke’s door around noon, but there’s no answer. I sigh. I was worried this might happen. I take out my key to his apartment and unlock the door, opening it and poking my head inside. “Luke? You home, brother?”
His car is in the spot in front of the building, but the air inside smells stale like he hasn’t opened his windows in a few days at least. And maybe the garbage hasn’t been taken out in a week. This is troublesome. Luke is not your typical bachelor, he’s clean and orderly in his home. Borderline obsessive about it. He says he simply takes pride in his small space, because it is his own. That could be. Or it could’ve just been ingrained in him by his three older sisters.
Luke’s the youngest in his family, and the only boy. His sisters helped teach him about how to treat a woman, how to be a good man, how to change the oil in his car. Everything a father
should have taught him, his sisters stepped up and taught him instead. His mother was too deeply buried in grief to be much help. Her husband had died of a massive coronary when Luke was only four.
I call out again, worried at the way my voice is echoing around the small space. “Luke? C’mon, man, make a noise, please.”
I hear a low groan, a sound of pain, and I frown. I fully enter the apartment and shut the door behind me. Luke barely ever gets drunk, never so drunk that he’s hungover the following day. He believes in moderation in all things. Knowing he must be in rough shape, I go to the kitchen first, grab a glass of water and the aspirin. Then I make my way to the bathroom where I find Luke retching into the toilet. He’s shaking and sweating, his body racked with spasms and I set the water and medicine on the counter. I grab a washcloth and wet it with cool water from the tap.
Luke finishes vomiting and rests against his bathtub for support. I hand him the washcloth. “Here.” He takes it without speaking, mopping the mess from his face and then dropping the dirty cloth behind him in the empty bathtub. He rests his hand wearily over his closed eyes. “Luke,” I start. “I’m worried for you, man. This isn’t like you.”
Luke grumbles at me. “Don’t you have an old lady to help cross the street or somethin’?” He doesn’t move his hand, doesn’t try and move off the floor. “I will be fine, Raif. Just had some fun last night s’all.”
“Yeah, looks like you had a blast.” I murmur, leaning against the open bathroom door and observing my friend.
“You are judging me aren’t you? And that’s just nonsense because not three weeks ago, you were way worse than I am right now. You didn’t even know the names of the girls you were dipping your dick into. That means you don’t get to judge. Even if you are lucky enough to call Chloe yours now.” His voice is wrecked, and his barbs strike true.
I work to control my temper. “Luke, I’m not saying I don’t deserve your anger, I know I do.” I swallow hard, trying to ignore the feeling of panic, of loss at the idea of not having Chloe anymore. “If I’d known that you felt this way, I wouldn’t have started anything with her, I would’ve left it alone. I swear.”
Luke’s hand moves now, as he lurches half off the floor, his voice enraged. “You ass, I’m not mad that she’s happy!” He’s up and in my face, his two-inch height advantage suddenly glaringly obvious. “I knew I didn’t have a shot. I knew in high school! I knew how she felt about you, maybe before she did. But I also didn’t think you were ever gonna get your head right and get rid of that bitch you were with. And I couldn’t stop loving her. I tried. Trust me.” His voice breaks on his last words. He leans back against his sink, seemingly exhausting his rage along with his energy.
“Luke, I’m sorry you’re hurting.” I say after a few moments of ashamed silence on my end. I should have known he wasn’t angry at me for making her happy. No, he’s just mourning what he knows he won’t ever have. It’s real now that she’s never gonna be his again, and that’s a pain I cannot even imagine. I don’t know if I’d survive it if I was the one in his shoes right now.
I try to picture it; Luke and Chloe together now, after I realized how deep my love for her runs. Seeing them together, his hands on her, kissing her. Her laughing up at him, sharing his bed, his life. It turns my blood cold, slows my heart down to a stuttering crawl in my chest. My hands start shaking and I fist them to hide it. “How can I help?”
Luke snorts. Shakes his head and then groans again, grasping his head in his hands. “You can’t, Raif. No one can do anything.” His voice is quiet, filled with pain. “You should just go.”
Chapter 15
Chloe
“Luke, open up. I know you’re home. I see your tiny little hybrid thing out here on the street.” I bang loudly on the front door three more times. I hear vague grumbling and movement from within.
Since Luke’s strange behavior at Vi’s cookout last week, I have been trying to watch him closer. I’m worried for him; he’s withdrawn, sullen and silent. None of which is normal for him. Renegades are scheduled to play another show at the Saloon tomorrow night and I know that Dell Xander will be making another appearance, because I invited him. The guys need to be at the top of their game this time. I think he could be interested in them, even though they are all certain Raif wrecked their shot with his bullheadedness. This is the excuse I’m using to butt into whatever issue Luke is currently having. I’m worried, like I said, and this is just not like him.
“Luke!” I bellow again, my fist pounding some more.
The door opens finally, and Luke stands there glaring at me impressively. He’s shirtless, his broad shoulders are tense, his normally bright blue eyes bloodshot. “Sweet tart, what on earth are you doing out here screeching like a banshee?” He’s practically growling, and I raise my chin and glare right back at him.
“I’m checking in on my friend. Like you’ve done for me a thousand times. Now step aside and let me in. I can smell your garbage from here. You’re clearly in the midst of some kind of crisis. Let me help, damn it!”
He stares me down for a few seconds, but I cross my arms over my chest and glare back at him. Eventually, he groans and steps aside.
“Fine. Come in. You are not cleaning my house, though. I’m not your boyfriend. I don’t need you to pick up after me.” There’s a definite bite to his voice that’s not normally present and I stiffen.
“Gee, with a welcome like that, how can I say no.” I huff at him. “And I know you’re not Raif. What the hell is your problem, Luke Benson? You don’t have to be my boyfriend for me to be worried, to check in on you!” I poke him in the chest with my finger. “I don’t appreciate your tone.”
“I’m sorry,” he grumbles, moving back from me. Probably to mask the scent of stale Guinness that’s hanging around him like a foul cologne. This is not Luke. He’s usually better put together than I am. I look him over closer, his eyes are bloodshot and hooded. His normally perfectly coiffed hair is greasy, his beard wild. I frown.
“Luke…” I take a step toward him, but he steps back.
“Nope, you don’t want to get any closer, Chloe.” He holds his hands up in front of him as if to ward me off, and I try not to be hurt at the obvious rejection of any sort of physical contact. He needs a hug, I can tell. I know him just as well as I know Raif, as well as I know myself.
I go to him despite him trying to keep me back and I hug him, despite his stiffness. I pat his back and say, “Whatever is going on, it’s going to be okay, I promise. Let me help. Please?”
He sighs after a second and I feel him slump in on himself. He hugs me hard and buries his face in my hair, then abruptly, but gently pushes me back. He clears his throat. “I’m okay, but I stink…uh.” He sounds sad, so sad; and again, that’s so unlike him.
I try to grab his gaze. “Luke, it’s okay. Why don’t you go take a shower, I’ll put the kettle on for some tea?”
He nods woodenly and swallows, his eyes on the floor. “I…. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He starts to turn towards the bathroom and turns back to me at the last second, pointing his finger at me. “I meant it though, no cleaning my house. It’s my mess. I’ll fix it.”
I nod silently at him, even though we both know the moment the water goes on in that shower, I’m gonna start picking things up out here. I can’t stand to be still and just look at it like this.
He nods and escapes into the bathroom, and as soon as I hear the shower start, I turn to get cleaning supplies. I find the tea kettle and check for cleanliness before filling it with water and setting it on the stovetop. I find one of his mother’s coffee cakes defrosting in the fridge and put it out on the counter. I open all the windows wide, turn the stereo on and WGNA, our local country station blares to life from the speakers. I turn it down to a dull roar and start clearing away the mess. When Luke emerges from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips fifteen minutes later, he growls at me. “Damn it, Chloe. I told you no.”
“And you kn
ew I wouldn’t listen,” I counter. “Hush and go get dressed.”
He growls again. “Impossible woman!” But he moves towards his bedroom to get dressed just the same.
“And proud of it.” I mutter as I load up his dishwasher with the dirty dishes I collected from around his apartment. I change the overflowing garbage bag and carry it to the front door to live until I make Luke bring it outside. By the time he comes out of his bedroom dressed in a dark blue tee shirt and blue jeans, I’ve got the place mostly sorted out.
Luke looks around the formerly wrecked apartment and shakes his head. “Well, you’re nothing if not efficient, sweet tart.”
I stick my tongue out at him. “Why waste time when I’m here and able bodied?”
“You know why. My mess, I fix it.” I frown at him, studying his face. He looks a little better now that he’s clean, at least. He smells much better, too. I wish I knew what was going on in his head. Luke’s always been so unflappable. And a good friend to me whenever I’ve needed him.
“Would you come here, please?” I ask, pulling the coffee cake out of the oven where it’s been warming to take the chill off. I set it on the counter and look back and see Luke actually listened. He’s behind me, leaning against his counter with his arms stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. He looks uncomfortable. Again, all new things.
I turn around and face him, and he holds my eyes for a beat, his shoulders loosening a bit, his jaw unclenching for the first time in a week. “Thank you for your help.”
I shrug one shoulder. “I’m always here to help if you need it. And you’ve helped me often enough in the past. Can you tell me what’s up? I’m scared for you, Luke.”
Renegade Heart (Renegades Book 1) Page 10