“And all those years, while he was waiting, the hatred he felt never diminished.”
“No. It festered.”
She turned away, then swiped at her cheeks with the palms of her hands. When she turned back, her face was determined, her lips tight.
“Why didn’t he just leave, after he’d killed Timothy? Why stay around? Wasn’t that risky? Wasn’t it stupid?”
“Rage was the only thing that made him feel good. It was the only thing that empowered him. It was all he had by then. It was his life.”
“So he stayed to keep the rage alive.”
I nodded.
“He stayed for the pleasure it gave him, the only pleasure he had. And he stayed because if he left, he’d be starting over from scratch. Perhaps he didn’t have the imagination or the courage to do that, to start a whole new life.”
“Because he’d finished the old one.”
“Yes. He had.”
When I got up to go, she walked me to the car. Neither of us could speak. I put my arms around her and she held me tight. Then she bent and whispered something in Dashiell’s ear. She was still standing there when we drove away.
I thought about the place where it all started, up on top of the Palisades, just a bunch of kids fooling around. And then one careless accident, one push destroyed two families.
I thought about O’Fallon, too, about how he had hidden his grief along with a lifetime of secrets. He’d carried the weight of it alone. Until now.
I pulled into the gas station right before the bridge to fill the gas tank and call Brody.
“I think I know the answer to that question now,” I said.
“What question?”
“What Tim wanted me to do for him, why he chose me for this.”
He waited.
“When it was all over, whenever that was going to be, he wanted someone to understand.”
“What he’d done?”
“And how he’d tried to make up for it by taking in men who might have been his brother, had his brother lived. I think he was hoping that someone, that one other human being, would know it all and then forgive him,” I said. “Because he was never able to do that himself.”
They’d tried, each of them, in their own way, to find a way to live despite what had happened at Breyer’s Landing, and only Maggie was left now. I wondered if she was strong enough to let it go, to decide to live in spite of it.
Driving across the George Washington Bridge, I could see the Palisades in the rearview mirror, harsh and rocky, rising up from the Hudson. Toward my right the river, flowing toward the ocean, looked calm, the sun painting the ripples of water with quick, graceful strokes of silver. And beyond, the city, tall and strong against the bright summer sky, tapering toward downtown, where in the year that Joey O’Fallon was pushed to his death by his own brother, the World Trade Center had been completed.
Acknowledgments
For the generous sharing of information about cadaver dog training, I thank Bill McGlynn of the Rochester NYPD; Carla Collins, K9 training director of Search One Rescue Team of Texas; and retired bloodhound handler Gina Lyn Hayes. For being a constant resource about police work, my gratitude to Lieutenant Detective Commander, NYPD, Peter C. Fenty.
I would also like to thank Anita LaTorre, Philip Levy, Stephen Solomita, Barbara Jaye Wilson, JoAnn Fleming, Victoria Joubert, Beth Adelman, Wayde Vickrey and my sweetheart, Stephen Lennard, for information, advice and general shoring up.
No book is as good as it could be without an eagle-eyed editor. I thank Trish Grader for this and for her generosity. This story wouldn’t have become a book without my agent, Gail Hochman, miracle worker. I thank their able assistants as well, Erin Richnow at Morrow and Joanne Brownstein at Brandt and Hochman.
With special thanks to G.D., who showed me that the dead do tell tales. And to Dexter and Flash—no words can begin to cover what I owe you.
About the Author
A former detective and noted dog trainer, CAROL LEA BENJAMIN is the author of several books on canine behavior and training, as well as six previous Rachel Alexander and Dash novels. She was recently honored by the International Association of Canine Professionals with her election to their Hall of Fame. Ms. Benjamin lives in Greenwich Village with her husband, Stephen Lennard, and their dogs, Dexter, Flash, and Peep. You can visit her website at www.CarolLeaBenjamin.com
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Resounding praise for
CAROL LEA BENJAMIN’s
RACHEL ALEXANDER and DASH
“[A] serious approach to the canine crime-writing niche. Benjamin keeps the tail-wagging to a minimum, relying instead on solid private eye basics. Dash (short for Dashiell, of course) is nevertheless a dependably entertaining companion among murder and mayhem.”
Denver Rocky Mountain News
“Carol Lea Benjamin combines expert storytelling, wry humor, and a flair for bringing unusual characters to life.”
Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
“Anyone who enjoys dogs and their winsome, wily ways will appreciate Benjamin’s work; other fans will want to read her for the excellent plotting and development of human characters.”
Washington Times
“Her high quality of prose and convincing way with dialogue may surprise and delight first-time readers.”
Chicago Sun-Times
“Benjamin’s work [is] first-rate.”
Cleveland Plain Dealer
“The adventures of private detective Rachel Alexander and her pitbull partner, Dashiell, hooked me.”
Seattle Times
Books by Carol Lea Benjamin
FALL GUY
THE LONG GOOD BOY
THIS DOG FOR HIRE
THE DOG WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
A HELL OF A DOG
THE WRONG DOG
LADY VANISHES
And coming soon in hardcover
WITHOUT A WORD
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
FALL GUY. Copyright © 2004 by Carol Lea Benjamin. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub © Edition MAY 2008 ISBN: 9780061983146
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Carol Lea Benjamin, Fall Guy
Fall Guy Page 26