by R. Linda
“Uh-huh. Well, that’s great. I’m happy for you.” Her voice lowered, and she lost her enthusiasm.
“Don’t worry,” I said, knowing exactly what she was thinking the moment she rubbed her hand across her chest. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Promise.”
“Would I lie?” I was going to hell. I’d done nothing but lie to her these last few weeks. But I wouldn’t lie about us.
“No.” She shook her head and smiled. “Where are we going?”
“Thought we could get some ice cream and maybe hang out at my house for a while. What do you think?”
“But, your dad?” Her voice was panicked. She’d never been to my house because I refused to bring her over when he was home. Actually, I refused to go back when he was there. I spent most nights driving around town, or at the shopping centre in Storm Cove until they kicked me out. I only went back when I knew he’d be asleep.
He’d been on my back more and more lately.
Chris was being released from rehab soon, and my father was worried I’d slip into my old ways. Not that he ever listened when I explained those drugs weren’t mine. I’d taken them from Chris so he didn’t do something stupid like OD in the school bathroom to get out of the trouble he’d found himself in.
My father only saw what he wanted to see, and he saw me as a failure. A major disappointment. All because he couldn’t keep it in his pants and knocked up his secretary nineteen years ago.
Some things never changed.
“He’s off screwing Sally somewhere.”
Audrey’s eyes widened. “Sally, the receptionist at school? That Sally?”
“Yeah. Caught them in his office yesterday.”
“Oh, my god. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I really didn’t want to think about it. It was a horrible image to get out of my head.”
“Oh, that’s so gross.”
“You’re telling me.”
We were silent for a few moments.
“I’m excited to see your house.” Audrey spun in her seat to face me, her eyes sparkling.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve never been there before.”
“For good reason.”
“I know. I don’t want to hang around your dad any more than you do. So, this will be nice. Maybe Maya can come too?”
“Shit.” I groaned and slapped my hand against the steering wheel. “I can’t do it.”
“What?”
“Lie.”
“Lie about what?” She folded her arms and frowned at me.
I reached over and grabbed her hand. “My date. Everything. I’m sorry, bro. I haven’t been completely honest.”
Audrey gasped and began rocking back and forth. “You are going to leave, aren’t you? I’m going to lose you.”
“No, no. Of course not.” I pulled the car into the parking lot out the front of the gelato shop by the beach. “Walk with me?”
Audrey gave a shaky nod. I got out of the car and helped her out too. She zipped her hoodie up and pulled the hood over her head, covering her face. The beach was empty, so she didn’t need to worry, but it was still a public place, and her hood made her feel safe.
“I lied about my date. I don’t have a date. I don’t even know anyone called Maya.” I laughed, surprised at the bitter tone in my own voice.
“Then, why?”
“Because I’m jealous as shit, bro. You said Christina had a date, and I hate the thought of her with someone else.”
“But you said…”
“I know what I said, and I only said that because you are so damn adamant that you hate her, and I didn’t want to upset you. She’s really not like everyone thinks. I think she’s changed. And, man, I just really want to screw her six ways from Sunday, you know?”
“Umm. No. No, I don’t know. I don’t understand, Bennett. You can have any girl in the world. Why her?”
Any girl but the one standing in front of me. I pushed that thought aside as quickly as it came. We were friends. That was all it was and would ever be, and I was good with that.
“I don’t know. We just work well together. And I’ve been trying to ignore her and the desperate need to bend her over her desk.”
“Oh, my god. Stop. I don’t want to hear it.” Audrey blocked her ears, making me laugh.
“But I can’t ignore her. So, when you said she had a date, I wanted to act like I didn’t care. But I do care. Too much.”
“I’m sorry, Bennett.” We sat on a bench overlooking the beach.
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
“Why would you say that?”
I wrapped an arm around Audrey’s shoulder when she shivered. It was a little cool so close to the water. “She’s only dating him to get back at me for what I said.”
“What did you say? Do I want to know?”
“I told her the truth.”
“And that was?”
“That you will always come first. That she has to share me with you. That if anyone ever tries to force me to choose between you and them, I’d always choose you.”
“You didn’t?”
“I did. And I meant it. Like you said, whoever I’m with has to be okay with us, with this, and if they’re not, then I want out.”
“Bennett,” Audrey groaned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to do that. I was just having a moment of weakness. I don’t want you to risk any future relationships for me.”
“Doesn’t matter what you want. It is what it is. I told her the truth. You and I are a package deal, bro, and if someone tries to make me choose, they’re not the right one for me.”
Audrey gave me a watery smile.
“Don’t cry.”
“They’re happy tears,” she sniffed, “and sad ones too, because now I feel like I’m holding you back. You’ve been so good to me. But I feel like maybe I should let you go, as much as it hurts me.”
“Nope. Not happening. We’re tethered. Joined together. I’ll get handcuffs if need be. You’re not leaving me either, bro.”
“Pink, fluffy ones?” she asked.
I narrowed my eyes. “Something you want to tell me, bro? Do you have pink, fluffy handcuffs I don’t know about?”
Audrey cleared her throat and looked out to the water, completely ignoring my question, and I let it slide. Didn’t want to embarrass her too much. “So, what are you going to do?”
“Wait and hope she comes to her senses.”
Chapter
Nineteen
Christina
Three Weeks to go.
I tried. I tried my hardest to get Bennett out of my head. I even went on a date with Carter but couldn’t for the life of me find anything remotely interesting about the guy. He bored me to tears. I guessed looks and personality were a hard package to come by.
Bennett was the perfect package.
I found myself watching him in class, taking in every detail, committing every smile—for Audrey—to memory, wishing I could run my hands through his hair, bite his lip, his collarbone. I looked for him in the halls, around Storm Cove. I checked my phone every three seconds hoping for a message from him. I was obsessed.
I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks.
Exams were next week, and graduation was two weeks after that.
Time was almost up, and I was still trying to work out whether I’d be okay with sharing his time and his affection with Audrey. It would be hard, take some getting used to. I was a jealous person by nature, and I didn’t know how I would react if he ran out on me to go to her rescue. But I knew one thing.
I wanted Bennett Sawyer.
More than I wanted anything else. And I was willing to try.
I thought.
I poured myself a glass of wine and opened the curtains in my living room. The storm was raging outside, and I loved nothing more than watching the rain and the lightning. Deciding it was still warm enough that I could probably sit on my porch and watch the storm from my swing, I g
rabbed my book and my wine and made my way outside.
It was a beautiful night.
I grabbed the throw blanket and put it over my lap as I leaned back on the swing and got comfortable. Thunder boomed overhead, and the flash of lightning lit up my porch and illuminated a figure standing on the lawn in the rain.
I screamed.
Heavy footsteps thudded on my timber steps, and a thick, gravelly voice said, “Sorry.”
I leaned forward and squinted in the dark at the tall, broad shape looming over me. “Bennett?”
“Yeah.”
Pulling the blanket around my chin, I brought my knees to my chest. “What are you doing here?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” He shrugged as he stepped into the light coming through the window from the living room.
His eyes were dark, shoulders slumped, and he was dripping wet.
“Really?”
“No.” He leaned against the weatherboards and kicked one black-booted foot up behind him on the wall.
Why did that look so sexy? My eyes travelled the length of his body. He was dressed head to toe in black, but it was the beanie on his head that really did things to me. No man should look that good in a woollen hat with a pom pom on top. It looked like a tea cosy, but he made it work.
“What, then?”
“Had a fight with my dad and didn’t know where else to go.”
“You had a fight with John, and you came here?” I tried to calm the stampede of raging wild animals in my stomach.
My mind was running a million miles an hour. He came to me.
“What about Audrey?” I asked tentatively as I stood from the swing and approached him slowly.
“I wanted to see you,” he said, levelling me with a hard gaze.
Me. He wanted to see me. Not Audrey. He chose me over her.
And suddenly my decision was made.
I lunged for him. Ripped the beanie off his head and wound my fingers through his hair before pushing up on my toes, until my entire body was pressed against his very firm, very cold, very wet one. I didn’t care that he was dripping wet. All I wanted was his hands on my body and his lips on mine.
I kissed him. Long. Slow. Savouring every taste. Every touch.
Because I knew I had to stop before things got out of control.
I wanted him so much, and I only had to wait for three long, torturously painful weeks until I could do all the things I wanted to do to him. I pushed away, leaving us both gasping for breath.
“So, in three weeks?” Bennett quirked an eyebrow in question.
“It’s on.”
“Ahh, Ms. Brown. The things I’ve been imagining doing to you. Better prepare yourself.”
“I’ll be ready. Don’t worry.”
We stood on the porch staring at each other. The tension was thick, palpable, and if I didn’t break it soon, all hope was lost.
“You should come inside and get dry. You’ll get sick if you stay like that.”
“Thanks.” Bennett cleared his throat, kicked off his shoes, and followed me into the house.
“You know where the bathroom is. Go and have a shower, warm up, and I’ll find you some dry clothes.” I paused. “I think you still have a pair of track pants and a t-shirt here somewhere.” That was a lie. I knew for a fact he still had clothes here. I knew that since I slept in his shirt most nights because my bed was so empty without him.
He smiled and dripped water all the way down the hall and into my room. And I didn’t mind one bit.
I laid his clothes out on the bed and fought the urge to peek through the crack in the bathroom door with every fibre in my body.
Three weeks.
I could last three weeks.
I’d already made it through seven.
The problem was now I’d kissed him twice, and it only served to increase my need for him. I had to keep it together, or I’d ruin any chance we had before it even began.
Bennett returned to the living room fifteen minutes later, freshly showered and smelling like strawberry shampoo. In fact, the shampoo smelt better in his hair than it did in mine. I handed him a glass of wine I’d poured while he was showering and made room on the sofa for him.
“You can stay until the storm eases,” I said. I told myself I was doing the right thing. Being careful. Cautious. That it wasn’t safe for him to drive in that weather, and I’d hate for anything to happen to him on the wet roads. Really, I just wanted his company.
He collapsed in the seat beside me and sighed.
“What was your fight about?”
“What?” Bennett looked at me. He must have been in his own world.
“With your dad. What was the fight?”
“He caught me talking to my friend Chris.”
“Chris? And why is that a bad thing?”
“Chris got into trouble a couple years ago. Owed some people money, some other people drugs. They were all after him, and the only way he could see of getting out if it was to kill himself. I found him at school with a bag of pills and a bottle of vodka. He was going to OD. So, I snatched the vodka off him and poured it out. Then I took the pills and threw them in my bag until I could flush them down the toilet.”
“What happened?”
“I dropped my bag, and the pills fell out as a teacher walked past. I was expelled immediately. Dad was furious.”
“But you were just looking out for your friend. You did the right thing.”
“Dad didn’t see it that way. He thought Chris got me hooked on drugs. And when I sold my car to pay Chris’s debt, Dad flipped. Completely freaked out. Threatened to send me to live with my mother unless I cleaned up my act. I had no act to clean up but still had to follow his orders. I transferred to his school so he could keep an eye on me. Chris went to rehab and got sober. I paid his debts. So, Chris has got nothing to worry about now, but Dad still doesn’t see it that way. He caught Chris and me talking tonight. We haven’t seen each other for over a year. Dad came out, threatened to call the police if Chris didn’t get off his property. Told me if I had anything to do with him again, he’d kick me out of the house. I told him if he did that, I’d expose all his dirty little secrets that he’s been trying to keep quiet for nineteen years. And here we are.”
“Bennett, I’m so sorry. Your dad’s a prick.”
Bennett laughed. “He is. But as soon as I graduate, I’m out. I’ll find a job, study part-time, and get the hell out of his house.”
“Sounds like a great plan.” I took a sip of my wine and tried not to react to the way Bennett was looking at me. He managed to turn me into a puddle with just a glance.
“Can I ask you something?” he said after a while of silence.
“Sure.”
“Tell me about what went down with Bailey and you in high school.”
I gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. That was the last thing I expected him to ask.
“I mean, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it. It’s just I heard Bailey’s version, and it doesn’t paint you in a very good light.”
“No, I guess it wouldn’t. I was cruel back then.” I sucked down more wine, needing to prepare myself for the conversation we were about to have. I’d never spoken about it to anyone.
“Yeah, I heard, which is why I want your story. Because I find it hard to believe you really were that much of a bitch.”
I laughed. “I was. Indie used to call me Her Royal Whoreness behind my back. Totally deserved.”
Bennett laughed. “She’s creative. Still, it wasn’t nice.”
I poured Bennett another wine because he’d probably need it as well and then dived into my story.
“Neither was I, but in my defence, I was also incredibly naïve and lived a sheltered life. Privileged, but sheltered. I mean, you met my father. My mother is just as bad. Growing up, Bailey and I were best friends. I loved the fact she basically worshipped the ground I walked on. Don’t judge her on that. She moved around so much that she never felt truly comfortable
anywhere or like she fit in. She latched on to me, and I abused that. I treated her like a doll. Talked her into dressing like me, wearing our hair the same, everything. It was a power trip. I did to her exactly what my mother did to me.” I cradled my wine glass in my hand and shifted until my legs were folded under me.
“And then she began dating Chace, and I couldn’t handle the fact that her attention was focused more on him. She was my friend. She idolised me…and Chace.” I shook my head at the memories. “Everyone wore rose coloured glasses when it came to him, but I was the one who took the longest to see who he really was. He had me completely fooled for years. I was under his spell. And I loved him, even before he began dating Bailey. So, not only had I lost my best friend to a boy, I lost the boy I believed was the love of my life to my best friend. That’s a lot for a fifteen-year-old to handle.”
Bennett’s hand slid over the sofa and found mine. His fingers twisted through mine, and I wanted nothing more than to close the distance between us and rest my head on his chest.
“As time wore on, I noticed Chace was getting more and more distant from Bailey. I mean, I noticed everything about him. Obsessed was an understatement. He changed his toothpaste, I noticed.”
Bennett laughed but didn’t say any more. He merely waited for me to continue. I couldn’t see any judgement in his eyes, just genuine curiosity.
“I knew Bailey was a virgin. I was too. But I also knew she wanted to wait until it was absolutely right. I could sense Chace getting frustrated with her for making him wait. After all, he was a teenage boy. You know how they are.”
Bennett nodded. “Horny all the fucking time.”
I smiled.
“So, I tried to convince Chace to break up with her. Find someone better. Someone who was willing to sleep with him.”
“You,” Bennett said. It wasn’t a question; it was understanding.
“I mean, I didn’t want to hurt Bailey, but I loved Chace so much and honestly believed he should have been with me. All I wanted was my best friend back, her attention a hundred percent on me, and the boy of my dreams on my arm, not hers. I didn’t think that was so much to ask. My intentions were good. I meant well. I just never thought through the consequences. Well, Chace refused to break up with Bailey. I saw red. Why didn’t he want me? I’d give him everything he wanted and more if he gave me a chance.”