by Gerri Hill
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Paige rolled over with a weary sigh and punched her pillow. She’d not been able to fall into a comfortable sleep until CJ had left the bed before dawn, presumably to head out on her morning run. After a very silent dinner, she had retreated into the bedroom and CJ had claimed the TV. She kept the volume low and Paige had not been disturbed. She’d half expected—hoped—that CJ would sleep on the sofa, but she had come to bed not long after Paige had turned out the light.
She slept fitfully, guarding against her desires to snuggle with CJ. She groaned at the thought. Snuggle? With CJ? Oh, she was really in a pitiful state.
She smelled coffee and even though she felt like she could sleep for another hour, the enticing aroma lured her from bed. Apparently CJ was back from her run. After a quick trip to the bathroom, she poured a cup, pausing to close her eyes and savor the smell before taking her first sip. She noted that CJ had chosen her favorite blend this morning. She glanced in her direction, finding cautious eyes on her. She put her cup down, just then realizing how childish she’d acted last night. They’d been getting along great all week, and even last night, she knew CJ had just been teasing with her. But the fact that she was actually beginning to like the domestic situation she found herself in with CJ—that she was beginning to like CJ—threw her completely off-kilter. And when CJ had lifted her shirt, revealing those killer abs, Paige had snapped. Literally.
“Paige, listen, I’m sorry about last night. I don’t—”
“Stop,” Paige said. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. I do.” She took her cup and joined CJ on the sofa. “I’m sorry. I bit your head off for no reason. I was way out of line.”
“I was just playing around,” CJ said.
“I know you were. I reacted poorly. I’m sorry.” She reached over and touched CJ’s arm, squeezing lightly. “By the way, I did start my period, so...”
CJ smiled. “I see. I’ll be sure to mark that on my calendar.”
Paige smiled too but said nothing. She’d never lived with anyone before. PMS was something she paid little attention to. If there was anyone to snap at, it was Billy and he was used to it by now, she was sure.
“Know what I miss?” CJ asked unexpectedly.
“No. Tell me.”
“There’s this little Mexican food place a few blocks from the hike and bike trail where I run. On Saturday mornings, I always go there for breakfast. Read the paper, spend an hour or so drinking free coffee. I miss that routine.”
Paige nodded. “I miss my Starbucks.”
CJ laughed. “I should have known it would involve coffee.”
“I also miss Whole Foods. It was a once-a-week stop for me.”
CJ leaned closer, still smiling. “I miss eating real burgers.”
Paige leaned closer too. “Then maybe you should learn to cook.”
CJ didn’t pull away and her close proximity caused Paige’s heart to flutter. Damn. She sighed and leaned back, avoiding CJ’s eyes.
“Is that a challenge? Would you like me to try my hand at breakfast?”
Paige looked at her suspiciously. “What did you have in mind?”
“Fried egg sandwich?”
Paige wrinkled up her nose. “Omelet?” she suggested instead.
CJ rolled her eyes. “Scrambled?”
Paige shook her head. “Fried potatoes and an omelet.”
“I take it you really want an omelet.” CJ smiled. “Does that mean you’re going to cook?”
“Was there ever any doubt?”
***
CJ couldn’t believe that they were heading out for their Saturday night dancing date at the early hour of seven. She tried to keep in mind that Suzette and Becca were older than they were, but still, it just didn’t seem right with the sun still out and all. She tapped her foot impatiently as Becca tried to find a radio station.
Paige leaned closer, putting a hand on her thigh to keep it from bouncing. “You’re fidgeting.”
She closed her eyes for a second, the words whispered in her ear having caused a chill to run down her body. While she was looking forward to the evening for completely personal reasons, she did fear that—should she overplay their roles tonight—it would dampen the efforts that she and Paige had both made to keep their relationship on an even keel. But damn, it was going to be hard keeping her hands to herself. Regardless, she would try. She stared at the hand on her thigh, then covered it with her own, letting her fingers entwine with Paige’s.
“Do you know what I’m looking forward to?”
Paige smirked. “Dancing.”
“Well, besides dancing,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Then my second guess is going to be the greasy hamburger you’re about to consume.”
CJ laughed. “It’s because you’re starving me to death.”
Suzette turned around in the front seat, glancing at them. “Are you tired of cooking?” she asked Paige.
“It’s become a chore, yes. I don’t mind it, really, but it would be nice to have other options.”
“That’s one reason we take advantage of our night out. It’s more than an hour’s drive to begin with, so stopping to eat is always a treat. We all have our favorite places so we alternate,” she said. “Jules chose the burger place. You’ll love it.”
Finally, Becca smiled in triumph as country music filled the air. She heard Paige groan beside her.
“What? Don’t like country?”
“Not particularly,” she said quietly. “I’m surprised you do.”
“Only when I’m dancing. I like all types of music. When I’m running, I like upbeat, driving music. When I want to get down and dirty, I like—”
“Okay,” Paige said, squeezing her hand hard. “I get it.”
CJ grinned. “Oh, but country music,” she said. “You get to hold your baby tight.” She leaned closer, her words just a whisper. “I can’t wait to get you out on that dance floor.”
Paige kept a smile on her face, but her words contradicted it. “I swear, CJ, don’t make me hurt you. Because I will.”
CJ felt laughter bubbling up. “Is that a threat? Or a challenge?”
Paige leaned over, her mouth actually touching CJ’s ear, causing her pulse to race. “Remember, I do carry a gun,” she said, her whisper tickling her ear.
Any retort CJ may have had died in her throat. God, that mouth, that tongue. She turned her head, looking out the window, seeing nothing but the blur of pine trees. She remembered exactly what that mouth and tongue could do to her.
***
Paige clung to CJ’s hand, the crowded, noisy bar making her feel uneasy. She had never been one for bars. In fact, the night she’d followed CJ was only the second time she’d gone to a bar of any sort. The first being a dance club Seth had dragged her to when they were in college. Thankfully, CJ seemed to feel her discomfort and pulled her closer, almost shielding her.
“There’s a table,” Becca said loudly, pointing toward the back.
One of the advantages of coming early, Suzette had told them, was being able to secure one of the larger tables. There were eight in their group this evening, which had made for an interesting dinner. To its credit, the small-town burger joint hadn’t seemed fazed in the least when eight lesbians descended on it. Finding tables and following conversation had proven to be the most challenging. Paige managed, after all she had been bred to host large dinner parties, but CJ—who normally exuded such confidence—had seemed out of her element and been fairly quiet throughout. Now, though, it was Paige who was in a foreign environment. CJ looked right at home.
“This is a large bar for being out in the boonies,” CJ said to Becca. “Are they always this crowded?”
“Pretty much. It’s not like there’s a lot to choose from.”
CJ leaned closer to her. “You want a beer? Or something else?”
She nodded. “Beer is fine.”
She watched CJ saunter off, noticing women perusing her as sh
e passed. She’d seen firsthand how CJ worked a bar and was surprised she wasn’t checking any of these women out. But then, they were in their roles this evening. She wondered if it was hard for CJ to remain the faithful girlfriend with so many opportunities about.
Suzette grinned at her from across the table. “She’s so damn attractive,” she said. “And you’re like Cover Girl gorgeous. You make a striking couple.”
Paige felt herself blushing and was thankful for the muted lighting. She certainly didn’t mind the comment about CJ. She was damn attractive. But she always felt self-conscious when others remarked on her own looks. She’d found it to be almost a hindrance as far as her career was concerned. Men, especially, failed to take her seriously. She always had to prove herself first. CJ, on the other hand, had the boyish good looks that most men envied, not desired. When she spoke, they listened. When Paige spoke, they stared at her breasts, oblivious to everything else. But her good manners didn’t fail her, and she smiled politely at Suzette.
“Thank you.”
“The honeymoon period never lasts,” she said, “but then I see you two together and I think you might still be like this ten years from now.” She leaned across the table, her voice low. “The sex must be fabulous.”
Paige blushed yet again, thankful that CJ had returned, preventing her from answering.
“Here you go, baby,” CJ said, flashing an evil grin as she handed her a beer.
Paige nearly laughed, acknowledging CJ’s dig at her with a slight nod. “Thanks.”
“Drink up,” she said. “I’m about to haul you out on the dance floor. It’s been too long since we last danced.”
Mindful of Suzette watching, Paige gave CJ what she hoped was a sexy smile. “I can’t wait, tiger.”
Apparently, neither could CJ as she barely let Paige finish half of her beer. Before she could protest, they were out on the dance floor, CJ pulling her into her arms. Of course the song would be a slow one and CJ took full advantage of that, the hand on Paige’s back slipping lower, bringing their bodies into contact. Paige stumbled, causing CJ to tighten her grip. At the cookouts, they sat together, they touched, but it was never like this, not the full body touching of an intimate dance. Paige tried to remind herself that they were only role-playing, but her body betrayed her, coming alive as CJ’s lips brushed her neck.
“Fair warning, but I’m going to kiss you,” CJ whispered into her ear. “Your buddy Suzette hasn’t taken her eyes off of us.”
It should have been a simple pretend kiss—it was a pretend kiss—but when CJ’s mouth met hers, Paige forgot all about the roles they were playing as her body responded. Whether CJ forgot as well or if she was just testing her boundaries, Paige would never know. But when CJ’s tongue brushed against her lower lip, Paige’s mouth opened voluntarily, inviting CJ inside. It was a mistake, a huge mistake. She contained the moan that tried to escape, but she couldn’t stop her body from pressing even closer to CJ, their breasts smashing together as the hand she had behind CJ’s neck found its way into her hair. She closed her eyes as her pulse raced uncontrollably, memories flooding her mind, visions of CJ’s tongue in the most intimate of places.
Thankfully, the kiss came to an end, and she was surprised there was no gloating sign of victory in CJ’s eyes. She almost wished there was. Gloating she could deal with. But the desire she saw, desire that CJ apparently felt no need to hide, was causing her heart to race even faster. She ducked her head, afraid CJ might see the same in her eyes. Amazingly, they were still dancing, her feet moving by rote. They said nothing, and when the song faded away, CJ took her hand and led her silently back to the table.
Knowing eyes watched them, Paige felt embarrassed. It was a kiss between lovers, as they were pretending to be, but it was a kiss that promised that there was so much more to come. For them, that would not be the case. Not for the first time—or even the tenth—she wished they had separate bedrooms. She feared she would get no sleep tonight.
The rest of the evening passed quickly, both of them dancing with the others in their group. And even though they danced together again several times, CJ chose faster songs and made no other attempt to kiss her. For that, Paige was thankful.
The drive home was filled with chatter, CJ participating much more than she did. Apparently they had agreed to return to the bar next weekend as a live band was performing, one which Suzette claimed was awesome. When Becca stopped the car in front of their house, Paige thanked them politely for driving, already dreading being alone with CJ.
Her worries were for naught, though, as CJ promptly claimed the bathroom for a shower, and Paige busied herself with preparing the coffee for morning. By the time she finished her own shower, CJ was in bed, the lights out.
Paige’s heart was literally pounding as she crawled in beside her. CJ had her back to her and appeared to be well within the imaginary line Paige had created for them. She wasn’t certain if she should feel thankful...or disappointed. She sighed and rolled over, mimicking CJ’s position. There were only a few moments of silence before CJ spoke.
“I’m sorry.”
Those weren’t the words she was expecting, and she didn’t know how to respond to them. For that matter, she wasn’t sure what it was CJ was apologizing for. For kissing her? For not speaking? For the desire Paige saw in her eyes? Paige knew she was guilty of all three herself.
Without knowing what to say, she said nothing. She was surprised to find sleep claiming her and she relaxed into it. Perhaps tomorrow they would talk about it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CJ’s morning run was longer than normal, and she knew that was because she was avoiding going back home, avoiding seeing Paige. She’d crossed the line, to say the least. She’d meant for the kiss to be like the others, her teasing Paige just enough to annoy her. When she found herself deepening the kiss, she expected Paige to pull away. She never expected her mouth to open to her, never expected to feel Paige’s tongue sliding against her own. She never expected Paige to respond to her like she did. She nearly stumbled from the jolt of arousal that hit her even now. She slowed to a fast walk, her body still remembering the kiss, the feeling of their bodies as they touched, the gentle touch of Paige’s hand in her hair, holding their mouths together for seconds longer. Memories of their one night together came back in vivid detail.
The ride home had been filled with mindless babble, anything to distract her from the warm body sitting next to her. She hadn’t known what to say to Paige so she said nothing. She took Paige’s silence to indicate her anger. That’s why she apologized. She didn’t know what she expected Paige to say, but the continued silence wasn’t it. So she’d escaped the house before Paige got up, delaying the inevitable talk they would have. Just how angry Paige was, she could only guess.
She wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this, she knew. It had taken all of her willpower to not repeat the kiss each and every time they danced together. Of course she knew she was attracted to Paige. She’d always been attracted to her. But Paige was so above her, she never thought anything would happen between them. Only in her dreams did she imagine Paige would come to her, would find her at the bar, would go home with her to her bed. Only in her dreams did she think they’d ever be together. Yet they were. And it had been hell afterward and took weeks for them to get back to normal. Now here they were again, playing with fire. She knew Paige was attracted to her too. She wasn’t blind to that. She also knew Paige didn’t want to be attracted to her. The dance, the kiss—all CJ’s doing. But it was Paige who turned the kiss into something more.
She stopped, catching her breath. Yes, Paige was the one who turned the kiss into more, not her. She shook her head. No, Paige wasn’t angry. Paige was embarrassed. The silence wasn’t because she was angry, it was because she didn’t want to talk about it.
This caused a smile to form, and CJ took off running again, wondering if they were going to be adult about it all and talk or if they were going to continue in silen
ce until one of them broke. Judging by their track record, she would assume the latter.
When she got back, breakfast was underway, and she tried to keep things as normal as possible.
“Smells great,” she said. Paige just nodded, going back to her cooking. “Gonna grab a quick shower, if there’s time.”
Paige glanced at her then, and CJ wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or if Paige was really doing a slow perusal of her body, but she felt her skin burning as Paige’s eyes traveled slowly over her. Her habit of jogging in short shorts and a sports bra did have its advantages. Or disadvantages, in this case, as she felt very underdressed...and exposed.
“Shower, yes,” Paige said, her voice sounding an octave lower than normal.
CJ turned the water to cold, trying to chase away the image of Paige’s lingering inspection. She was going to end up doing something stupid, she just knew it. Something that she and Paige wouldn’t be able to get past. Something that might compromise the mission, although that could be a blessing. So far they’d done very little FBI work.
Breakfast was the silent affair she suspected it would be, with Paige avoiding eye contact as well. CJ finally put her fork down. She never thought she would be the one to take the adult track.
“You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“So we’re just not going to speak then? If you’re angry with me, say so.”
Paige looked at her then. “I’m not angry with you, CJ. I just don’t want to talk about it. When we’re out in public, I understand we have a certain image to portray. And...and kissing is...a part of it, I suppose.”
CJ picked up her coffee cup, studying her. Paige’s face was slightly flushed, and she knew her guess that Paige was more embarrassed than angry was right on. “Okay. Then why aren’t you speaking to me? I said I was sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” Paige met her eyes this time. “If that’s the case, I should apologize as well.”