Beyond Intent

by Karice Bolton

  I had never been so happy to be at the bakery as I was this morning. Jason and I didn’t say anything more last night. We snuggled in bed together, enjoying the peace of being in one another’s arms. Neither of us allowed the worries of yesterday to destroy what we’d shared, but this morning was another day, and it was impossible not to fear the worst. I knew Jason never wanted to hurt me. I knew his intentions were pure, but that didn’t change what we were facing. I hoped I had somehow convinced him that I knew what was best for me.

  “So did you get everything on your list?” Emily asked.

  Kayla was tending to the register, while Emily and I worked on cleaning up the backroom. We’d rolled all of the stainless steel tables into the center of the room and were mopping the floor and scrubbing the walls. I chose the latter chore.

  “Everything and more,” I laughed. “Jason arranged for my parents and brother to show up to surprise me. He told them everything, and to say they were thrilled, would be putting it mildly. It was quite a relief. I wasn’t sure how they were going to take it.”

  “I’m so happy to hear it.”

  “Katie is going to feel the love from everyone. That’s for sure.”

  “I can’t wait to get her into the bakery. It’s always so much fun watching kids decorate cookies.” Emily smiled.

  “I bet she’ll do better than me,” Kayla said, popping her head in to the backroom. “We’re running low on gingersnaps.”

  “We’ve got another tray,” I said. “I’ll bring them up.”

  “Sweet. It’s almost time for my break. Do you mind if I sneak outside now?”

  “Go for it,” I laughed. Judging by the excitement in her eyes, my guess was that she’d be calling her new boyfriend.

  She smiled and turned around, almost prancing, with her phone in hand.

  I heard the bell jingle and decided to confide in Emily.

  “Even though Jason planned everything with my family, he got kind of quiet at dinner, and by the time we got home, he expressed worry about me feeling forced to help with Katie.” I didn’t want to get in to too many details, but I wanted to gauge her reaction. “I told him it was my choice and I’d never turn my back on him.”

  Emily stopped pushing the mop back and forth and glanced at me. “You’ve got a really good guy there.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” I paused, thinking what more she wanted to say.

  “I have to say I’ve been wondering the same thing. You’re still so young, and this is a big commitment. It’s nice of him to give you an out.”

  My heart stalled at her theory. Was that what he was doing? Giving me an out? My God. I didn’t want an out. I wanted an in.

  “You think that’s what he was doing?” I asked.

  “He’s several years older than you. Probably putting himself in your shoes, remembering what he was like at your age. Maybe he thinks he’s asking too much. Jason’s madly in love with you, Gabby. I know he wouldn’t do anything unless he thought he was helping you.”

  “The constant theme of my life,” I laughed. “So many helpers.”

  I squeezed the washcloth out and scrubbed the last spot near the door. “Sparkling clean.”

  Emily had already dumped her bucket of water and began pushing the tables back against the walls. Since Kayla was out front on the phone, I decided to exit out the back and give Carla a call. There was a tiny deck that held two chairs, overlooking the Sound. I took a towel with me to wipe the rain droplets off the seats and held up my phone to Emily.

  “Be back in a few.”

  “I’ll grab the gingersnaps,” she said.

  “Great. Thanks.”

  I wandered out the back and tipped over one of the chairs, watching the water drain off of it before I wiped it down. There was a chill in the air, but it felt good. I dialed my stepmom’s number and waited for her to pick up.

  “Hey, darling. Overwhelmed with the deliveries?” Carla asked.

  I laughed. “They aren’t scheduled until afternoon. I’m still at the bakery.”

  “Then what’s up?” she asked.

  “When Jason told you guys about Katie, what was his mood like? Did he seem okay?” I asked.

  “That’s kind out of left field,” Carla said.

  “Well, last night after we got home something seemed off.”

  “He deliberately came to tell your father and me in person. He couldn’t stop praising you, actually. Said he was overwhelmed by your support. He mentioned a few times about being nervous about raising a kid, but I told him that happens no matter who you are, and he’ll never outgrow the feeling.”

  I laughed. “Okay. Just curious...”

  “Sorry, hun. You can’t get away with a call like this and not tell me a little more.”

  I bit my lip nervously as I pondered what exactly to say. “He seemed apprehensive about me wanting to help with Katie. I think he thinks I’m sacrificing too much or something. I’m not even sure, but it’s ridiculous. I felt him distancing himself, and it has me worried.”

  Carla was quiet for a few seconds. “It’s not ridiculous, Gabby. You are making a sacrifice, and you’d be foolish not to recognize that, but the benefits outweigh the risks.”

  “There are far more positives to getting this little girl than negatives. I ran through them all in my head. I can’t imagine not doing this.”

  “I think you both will be going through a flood of varying emotions over the next while, but don’t put stock in any one of them. Things might be said and worries might be voiced that won’t resonate the next day. Just take it one day at a time.”

  “Thanks,” I said, glancing out at a small sailboat that was bobbing in the current.

  “Anytime, and I can tell you one thing, Gabby. That man loves you more than you even know. It’ll all work out.”

  Hearing my stepmom say that made me feel immensely better.

  “Do you and dad want to come over and help organize things tonight?”

  “I thought you’d never ask. I’d already told your father to keep his schedule clear.”

  I laughed as we hung up the phone, and I knew instead of speculating with my friends and relatives about Jason, I needed to talk to him and make sure I got my point across. But before I dialed the phone I heard Jason’s voice from the steps below. Emily must’ve told him I was out back.

  “Aren’t you cold?” he asked.

  My heart fluttered when I saw him standing at the base of the stairs. His hands dug into his pockets and the breeze ruffled his dark hair. If this man thought he could scare me away, he was sorely mistaken.

  “I’m onto you,” I said, walking down the stairs.

  “I hope so.” He smiled, opening his arms, which I beelined right into. “I had to leave the shop. I couldn’t get my mind off you, and I wanted to make things right from last night. You make my world complete, and I don’t want anything or anyone to come between that. Ever.”

  “Then don’t let it. If I were worried, I’d tell you. I’m not looking for an out so don’t try to hand me one on a platter. I’m not clinging to some unrealistic vision of what our life’s going to be like. You know that, right? I’m scared shitless.”

  Jason nodded and his body shook as his laughter filled the air.

  “Well, that makes two of us.” He released me, his eyes connecting with mine. “I just never want you to regret any second of your life, and this was not part of our plan.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and took his hand. “Plans are made to be broken or I’d still be selling cheese.”

  He grinned and glanced toward the ocean.

  “One of my biggest regrets was when I left you. That haunts me to this day.”

  “My biggest regret was letting you leave,” he whispered, the wind picking up. He reached around to his back pocket and brought out a Tiffany Blue rectangular box.

  “I was going to wait until we brought Katie home, but I think after last night this is the least I could do to show you how committed I am to yo
u, to us.”

  “You didn’t have to do this,” I whispered, shaking my head.

  “Open it.”

  I took the box from him and my heart was pounding as I tugged on the ribbon. Removing the lid, my mouth fell open as I saw the sapphire and diamond bracelet.

  “This is too much,” I whispered.

  “Not even close,” he said, tucking the Tiffany Blue fabric pouch to the side of the box as I lifted the bracelet out.

  My hands trembled and he quickly closed the box and slipped it in his pocket before helping me to clasp the bracelet around my wrist. My pulse raced as I saw the bracelet wrap around my wrist. The engagement ring I’ve always fantasized about was a Tiffany platinum sapphire and diamond ring. I didn’t think I’d ever mentioned it to him, but here, wrapped around my wrist, was a companion piece.

  “It’s beautiful. I really don’t deserve this,” I said, looking into his eyes.

  “I don’t deserve you,” he murmured, touching his lips to mine.

  His kisses were soft and gentle. He wasn’t holding back.

  Releasing me, his eyes filled with the mischief that always rocked my world and I couldn’t help but laugh. “So my trick last night worked?”

  “Is that what you call it?” he smiled.

  I held my wrist out and wiggled it a few times. “Think this goes well with my navy yoga pants and grey sweatshirt?”

  “Definitely.” He grinned and captured my hand in his. “The first of the deliveries will be at the house in an hour or so. Wanna head there now?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  We climbed up the steps and walked through the door, closing it behind us.

  “He found you,” Emily said, her eyes landing on my wrist. “That wasn’t there while you scrubbed the walls.”

  “A little surprise for her,” Jason said, while I blushed.

  “I wouldn’t call that little,” Emily laughed. “You headed out?”

  “I am. First delivery’s in an hour.”

  “I can’t wait to see what you’ve done with the room,” she laughed.

  “Soon,” I laughed.

  “Counting on it. Have fun,” she chided, giving me a wink when Jason turned around.

  Even though we had separate cars, we got to the house in record time. Excitement ran through me at lightning speed. Tomorrow she’d be here. Felicia was flying out with Katie and turning around flying back. We didn’t want to overwhelm her and bring an army to pick her up so it was going to be Jason and me.

  I pulled my Jeep into the garage and jumped out of it, barely remembering to turn it off.

  “Ready?” I asked him.

  He nodded and smiled. “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Let’s not dwell on a slight lapse of judgment. We’re each entitled to one during our lifetime, and we’ve both gotten them out of the way. You’re stuck with me.” I grinned.

  The dogs were barking before we even got inside and I wondered how they were going to deal with our newest arrival. They had adjusted to my arrival perfectly fine. Although, it did take them a while, and I still occasionally got a butt to the nose while I was sleeping. Nothing quite like waking up to that, but Katie wouldn’t have to worry about that.

  “Carla and my dad are coming over to help organize the last of the things,” I said, walking in to see two spinning dogs.

  “Good. I wasn’t sure we’d get it all done by ourselves.”

  I poured myself a glass of iced tea and took a seat on the couch. I was a bit winded from all the excitement and needed a breather before we began.

  “I say we have them pick up pizza on the way here,” I said, while Jason was busy unpacking some of the Target bags.

  “Sounds like an excellent idea,” Jason agreed, sorting things into little piles.

  The doorbell rang and Jason glanced at me. “Guess the first one’s early.”

  “Let the fun begin.”

  Even though we started early, everything that could possibly go wrong—did. One of the ferries broke down, so instead of two, there was one running back and forth between downtown Seattle and the island. Then an accident closed one lane of traffic on the freeway, which resulted in a two-mile backup. To top it off, we needed to stop for gas, and we got lost getting back on the freeway. Now, we were on our fifth circle through the short-term parking, desperately searching for an empty space.

  It wasn’t like Katie would be toddling off the plane by herself, but this wasn’t how we envisioned picking her up. Felicia planned to meet us at the baggage claim and then turn right around and hop back on the plane that would get her back to Alabama, which made things tight.

  Spotting two people climbing into their vehicle, Jason slammed on the brakes, and the seatbelt nearly choked me, but I didn’t care. We scored a spot!

  “Nice work,” I said. He popped our car into reverse to give them plenty of room to get out.

  “Put the blinker on,” I said, my hands damp at the thought of getting to meet Katie.

  “Bossy,” he muttered, only half teasing. I stole a glance at him and saw the excitement thrumming through him.

  The white Buick finally pulled out of the stall and drove away. Jason parked quickly and I barely waited for him to put the car in park before I jumped out.

  “Slow down,” Jason laughed. “I don’t need you breaking your neck on the way to meet her.”

  “Hurry up,” I replied, slamming my car door. “I don’t need her turning sixteen by the time we find her.”

  He grabbed the balloons out of the car and tossed me the stuffed animal.

  My phone chimed, and I took it out of my purse and glanced at it, relief spreading through me.

  “They’re not at baggage claim yet. Still waiting to get off the plane.” I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

  “See things always work out.” He smiled, guiding me through the parking lot.

  We walked across the sky bridge and rode down the escalator toward baggage claim. I spotted the reader board and scanned it for the correct carousel number.

  “Fifteen,” I said, starting to feel a lot calmer about everything now that we were right where we needed to be.

  I looked around baggage claim and watched a couple hug each other like it had been years since they’d last seen one another. My eyes landed on a family struggling to get a stroller and car seat off the belt before it sped by and I had to laugh. This whole parent gig wasn’t easy on anyone.

  We stood in front of the carousel and waited, scanning the oncoming crowd for a little girl that looked like Jason. When I saw her my mouth dropped. She was beautiful. I almost crushed Jason’s hand, directing his gaze in front of us. I glanced up at Felicia, who was steering the little girl our way. Felicia looked tired. I was sure a flight with a toddler would do that to a person.

  I didn’t want to scare Katie away by running over to her, but it was hard to stay put. Her brown curly hair was in pigtails and she wore an adorable strawberry-print white dress. Her white sandals signaled that she came from a warmer climate, and I was proud of myself for bringing a pair of socks for her.

  “You must be Jason and Gabby,” Felicia said. We had to send photographs and two pieces of id prior to Felicia and Katie’s departure so we’d be easily recognized at the airport.

  “We are,” I said, shaking Felicia’s hand, barely able to keep my eyes off the adorable pile of curls in front of us.

  Jason shook Felicia’s hand and thanked her for making the trip before he squatted down to say hi to Katie. He yanked on the strings and the balloons rubbed together making a symphony of inappropriate noises. Katie giggled at the rude noises so, of course, Jason did it again and she giggled some more.

  Felicia’s voice softened. “I haven’t seen her smile like that all day.”

  A feeling of pride set in as I watched Jason talking to his niece and tying one of the ribbons around her wrist to anchor her very own personal balloon. I noticed her glance a couple times at the giraffe I’d been holding and wondered w
hen I should give it to her.

  I looked at Felicia who nodded, and I bent down to join Jason, holding out the giraffe.

  “Do you like giraffes?” I asked.

  She nodded her head and smiled.

  “This is for you,” I said, holding it out for her to grab.

  She looked at Jason who nodded, and she reached for it, wrapping her tiny hands around the neck and squeezing it to her chest.

  “She has one suitcase,” Felicia said, noticing the belt beginning to move. “It’s a pink Disney Princesses’ suitcase.”

  I nodded and stood up, pushing down the feelings of sadness knowing that all of Katie’s belongings fit into a small suitcase.

  “Thank goodness she likes princesses and pink,” I said. “We did her whole room like that.”

  Felicia flashed me a smile when we walked over to the belt. “Please call me if you have any questions. I know her case is being transferred to Washington… but I’m more than willing to help with anything I can.”

  “Thank you. We really appreciate it,” I said. “We’ve got a good support system.”

  “Oh, there it is,” Felicia said, pointing at a suitcase that fit her earlier description perfectly.

  I reached over and picked it up. Not only was it small, it was light.

  “I better get back in line so I make my flight,” Felicia said.

  We walked back over to Katie who was holding on to Jason’s finger, and I couldn’t hide my grin. He was a natural. His eyes connected with mine and I mouthed that I loved him while Felicia bent over to say goodbye to Katie. Jason smiled and raised his brow in surprise at how simply things were going.

  “It was wonderful meeting you two,” Felicia said.

  “We’ll send pictures,” I said.

  “I’d appreciate that.” She smiled. “I really would.”

  She turned on her heels and walked toward the TSA line, leaving us with Katie.

  “Are you ready?” I asked Katie.

  She nodded, but she was clearly fascinated with her giraffe. So far so good. I’d conjured up all kinds of worries and fears before today. I even woke myself up last night worried that she’d have a meltdown in the middle of the airport, and security would take us away. I always did have an active imagination.