Beyond Intent

by Karice Bolton

  We walked to the escalator and she stopped right in front of it, causing a near collision, but without thinking Jason scooped her into his arms and rode all the way up, with her propped on his waist. I don’t know what came over me, but seeing this side of Jason made me all crazy inside. I’d always heard women talking about how hot it was that their husbands were such good dads, and granted, we weren’t quite there yet, but I had to say they were really onto something.

  Jason reached the top and turned around, waiting for me to arrive.

  “You have a funny look in your eyes,” he said, placing Katie on the ground.

  “Do I?” I laughed. “I don’t know what came over me.”

  He shook his head and laughed as we walked across the sky bridge, but instead of quickly rushing across it, Katie walked over to the glass and slapped her hand against the window and looked down.

  “Lots of cars,” she said.

  “Yes. There are lots of cars,” I agreed, looking down at the street below, and that’s when I realized our lives were never going to be the same. Our lives were going to be better because we weren’t going to rush past life anymore. We were going to get to see life through a child’s eyes, no longer missing the magical instances that propelled our world forward. It was going to force us to slow down and that was good.

  When Katie got bored of staring down at the taxis and car she dropped Jason’s finger and reached for my skirt, twisting it into her tiny fingers. She began toddling toward the parking garage and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have this little girl place her trust in me.

  Jason stopped at the pay station and placed his ticket in the machine. When it buzzed, he slid cash in and waited for the ticket to be spit out again. Katie took a step forward and began pressing on the green, blinking button. Jason glanced at me, grinning. It certainly wasn’t going to be boring.

  “Do you mind if I carry you to the car?” Jason asked.

  She shook her head and held her arms up toward Jason. He picked her up and led the way to the car. He unlocked the car and opened the back door.

  It was go time.

  We had practiced the night before using one of her dolls as a guinea pig, but I can tell you, it was nothing like the real thing. First of all, we now had a bunch of balloons to deal with. Secondly, none of the straps were the correct length so I went on the other side of the car and climbed in, trying to help adjust the straps.

  Watching Jason try to buckle her in made me giggle. He hit his head on the doorframe, and swore, which got a giggle out of Katie, and I knew I we were two peas in a pod. While Jason rubbed his head, I managed to secure her shoulder straps, and we were set. Jason did the safety checks, and I felt oddly proud over this accomplishment. Now I only hoped that she didn’t grow so we didn’t have to do it again.

  “You ready?” I asked her.

  “Yup. Bessy’s all tucked in,” she said, holding her giraffe. Jason grabbed the balloons from the front seat and took them to the trunk. I pulled out the socks I had in my purse and unbuckled Katie’s sandals so I could slip on the socks. Her toes were chilly as I worked the fuzzy cotton up her foot, and I felt a small victory.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, walking to the back of the car.

  “What if she eats one on the way home?” he asked, trying to stuff the balloons in the car.

  “I think it’ll be fine.”

  But he refused to chance it and continued pushing them into the trunk. On my way to the front passenger seat one popped, scaring the crap out of me and I had to laugh. This was definitely a new side of Jason.

  I slid in the seat and flipped my visor down. “Are you hungry?”

  “No. I had a peanut butter sandwich.”

  “Okay. That’s my favorite, especially with raspberry jam.”

  She grinned and rested her head against the car seat while Jason climbed into the car.

  “Do you like cookies?” he asked.

  Katie answered with a hoot and a nod.

  “That’s good to hear because she owns a bakery and makes cookies every single day,” he said, pointing at me.

  “Would you like one now?” I asked.

  “Yes, please.”

  This little girl knew how to make my heart swell. I swear she was the politest toddler I’d ever met. Jason backed out of the stall, and I took out a chocolate chip cookie from the bag I’d brought with us. I broke the cookie in half and turned around in my seat, handing it to her, along with a sippie cup of water. She took one bite and then another.

  “Do you like it?” I asked, more worried about her review than any other customer who’d ever entered the bakery.

  She nodded, chewing slowly. “I’d like one tomorrow.”

  “You can have one tomorrow.”

  “Can Bessy have one?”

  “I think we can work that out,” I said.

  “Have you ever been on a ferry before?” Jason asked, obviously knowing the answer.

  “What’s that?” she asked.

  “A boat that that can fit cars on it.”

  “Why?”

  “So that we can get to the islands.”

  “What are islands?” she asked.

  “Islands are pieces of land in the middle of water,” I answered.

  “Our house is on an island,” Jason said.

  We merged onto the freeway, and I felt like I needed to pinch myself. Things were going so well, and I couldn’t imagine a place I’d rather be.

  Katie scampered through the hall straight for Tomato and Sunny, who were on the other side of the gate, pressing their noses to the plastic. Tomato’s tongue squished against the lattice, attempting to lick her. A delighted shriek came from Katie as she poked her fingers in between the links.

  “Tomato sit. Sunny sit,” Jason commanded.

  Both dogs immediately sat, while I unhooked the gate. Katie glanced at me, and I knelt by her, introducing the two eager pooches to their new housemate. Sunny remained seated, but it was really hard on her; her butt wriggling and scooting across the floor while Tomato sat stoically, waiting for her next command.

  Katie began petting the top of their heads—more swat than stroke—and the girls ate it up, pushing at her hands for more and more. Jason carried the suitcase up the stairs and I wondered if Katie would like to see her new bedroom. Tomato caught Jason going up the stairs and bounded after him, leaving Katie with Sunny, who began obsessively licking her cheek. My guess was that there was some elusive cookie crumb from earlier.

  “Would you like to go see outside?” I asked.

  “Can Sunny come out?” she asked.

  “She sure can.”

  We walked down the hall and entered the great room. The glass wall let a blaze of sunlight into the home.

  “This house is so big,” she said. “Is it all yours? Do you share?”

  “We share it with our dogs and now you,” I said, opening the glass wall that was more garage door than wall.

  “Whoa,” Katie said, staring at the ceiling as the wall rolled across it.

  It wasn’t cold outside, but it wasn’t exactly warm either. She wandered out to the deck and pointed at the water.

  “Can I go swimming?” she asked. “Are there sharks?”

  “It’s a little too cold right now for swimming, but maybe in the summer.” I pointed at a covered Jacuzzi that was on the far side of the deck. “But we can go swimming in that. It’s warm and has lots of bubbles.”

  She nodded but walked the other direction, leading Sunny down the stairs. It only took me a couple steps to catch up to her as she wandered around the lawn.

  “You three enjoying yourselves?” Jason asked, and I glanced behind me. He was standing on the deck, dangling a child’s jacket.

  “We are. I think we’ll have to hop in the Jacuzzi at some point.”

  Katie picked up a stick and began dragging it along the grass.

  “Let’s put this on you,” Jason said, catching up to her.

  Sunny caught
Katie’s stick in her mouth and began tugging, and before we knew what happened, Katie was face first on the grass, and Sunny was marching away in victory. Panic set in and I waited for a cry or holler as Jason helped her back up. Neither happened. Instead, she looked around for Sunny and followed her back to the deck.

  I felt this constant need to follow her everywhere, worried that she’d run into a coffee table or get stuck somewhere. I looked over at Jason, who didn’t seem to be quite as concerned as she wandered back into the house.

  He slid his arm around my waist and whispered, “So far so good.”

  I nodded. “Did you put the gate back up?”

  “I did.”

  “Do you think she knows this is really her new home?” I asked.

  Jason shrugged. “She’s been moved so much, I doubt she trusts the idea, regardless of what Felicia told her.”

  We strolled into the house to find Katie on the couch with Sunny sitting next to her. Jason released me and I went to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

  “Are you thirsty?” I asked Katie.

  “No.”

  I filled my glass with water and took a sip while Jason took a seat across from Katie. I inhaled my water and started coughing uncontrollably as I tried to clear the water from my throat. Katie slid off the couch and wandered over as I was patting my chest.

  Katie’s eyes locked on my chest and she pointed. “What’s that?”

  I reached for the pendant I wore and held it.

  “Not that… that,” she asked again.

  Jason came up behind her and knelt down.

  My hand traced along the thickened skin on my chest, and I smiled. “It’s a scar.”

  “How did you get it?” she asked, her eyes inquisitive.

  “I got a new heart,” I answered.

  “A new one? Where did you get it?”

  Oh, no. This was one of the moments I dreaded. How much is too much for a four year old. I glanced at Jason who seemed as puzzled as me.

  “Gabby was very sick, but she got better because someone who didn’t need their heart any longer gave her one.”

  He did it with such ease.

  “Can I give my heart to someone?” she asked.

  “Not for a very long time,” Jason answered. “But yes, someday if that’s what you choose.”

  My chest tightened waiting for Katie to ask another question, but I admired how Jason explained the logic behind transplants to a four-old.

  “Did you want to see your room?” I asked, hoping to distract her.

  “My room? Who do I share it with?”

  “It’s all yours. You don’t have to share it with anyone.”

  “I’ve never slept alone,” she answered.

  I never thought about that.

  I held out my hand for Katie to hold, and Jason led the way through the hall, unlatching the hall gate so we could pass and then the gate to the stairs. It was like an obstacle course any direction we went.

  By the time I reached the top, I was completely out of breath, and Jason noticed. He gave me a concerned look, but I waved my hands at him to carry on and latch the gate. Now was not the time to talk about it.

  Katie’s bedroom door was open, and it was like a magnet. She knew it was hers and walked right into it. We had done a great job of getting it ready, if I did say so myself. There was a mountain of stuffed animals in the corner, and her tiny bed sat draped with fluffy blankets and pillows. Seeing Katie walk into her very own bedroom was something I’d never forget. She ran to the pile of stuffed animals and dove in. Jason had set her suitcase upright next to the closet. She looked pretty content.

  “This is pretty crazy,” Jason whispered, his arm securely fastened to my waist.

  I nodded. “Is she okay here? Do we watch her? How does this work?”

  “I’m not sure,” he laughed.

  She looked completely enthralled with the toys we’d bought her, and I delighted in making someone so happy. I wish it was always that easy to brighten someone’s day.

  “I’ve got some work I can finish up,” I said, pointing at the office across from Katie’s bedroom. “So I can keep an eye on her.”

  “Sure. I’ll get dinner started,” he offered.

  “Katie, I’m going to be across the hall if you need anything, okay?”

  She nodded but didn’t take her eyes off her Elsa doll, and I congratulated myself on the choice.

  We walked to the office, and I flipped on the light, taking a seat. It felt like my pulse was pounding.

  “Are you sure you shouldn’t try to get in early?” Jason asked.

  “It’s only two days,” I assured him. “I’ll be fine. I think I just caught something with all the travel.”

  Jason’s gaze stayed on mine and he shook his head. “Maybe just go to an urgent care or something.”

  “For what? Being tired?” I teased.

  “You’re in really good shape. A month ago the stairs wouldn’t have done you in.”

  “It’s probably just the start of a cold or something. We’ll get it all figured out on Friday.”

  Jason’s jaw tensed, and I knew he was unhappy with my solution.

  “You know, I was thinking...”

  “That always leads to bad things.” He grinned.

  “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take her to dinner on Saturday to meet my parents. She seems so well adjusted, and I’m so excited to share her with everyone.”

  He nodded. “I think that would be fine. I honestly had pictured an entirely different outcome.”

  “Me too,” I confessed. “Well, I’ll call everyone and see if they’d want to meet us at the diner on the island.”

  “Works for me.”

  “Maybe I’ll take her to the bakery tomorrow.”

  Jason flashed me one of his glorious smiles and I about melted. “You’re really good at this.”

  He laughed. “Let’s not be premature with the congratulations. She hasn’t even been here for an hour.”

  Jason bent down and softly kissed my lips before he left the office. I turned on the computer and picked up the phone, about ready to dial Carla’s number, when Jason popped back in.

  “She fell asleep in the pile of stuffed animals,” he whispered.

  “Seriously?” I asked, popping up from the chair and giving myself a massive head rush.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Totally,” I said, playfully pushing him along. “Let’s take a picture.”

  We quietly snuck across the hall and back into her bedroom. She looked like an angel laying among the stuffed animals. I shut the flash off and focused my camera phone on Katie, taking way too many photos. Jason nodded as he checked out the phone.

  We went back to the office, triumphant with our prized photos.

  “Dinner can wait,” he said, pulling up a chair next to mine.

  I texted the pictures to everyone I could think of and sat back and waited.

  “Brandy sent a text this morning about one of her classes,” I began.

  “Yeah?”

  “She absolutely hates it, but it’s a core class and she only has a few weeks left.”

  “What? Was she going to drop it?” he asked.

  “It almost seemed like it, but I think she’s going to stick it out. The quarter or semester, or whatever it is, is almost over. I think the accident affected her more than she realized.”

  “You think that’s what it stems from?”

  “I think she’s done a good job of hiding everything, but I think she’s still having a hard time dealing. She recovered physically.”

  “Mostly,” Jason muttered.

  He was right. There were days that Brandy still had a slight limp from the pain that radiated down her left leg. The doctors were trying to pinpoint the cause, but so far it was attributed to the accident, but that didn’t make it any better.

  “I talked to Aaron while we were in Vegas. He’s concerned about her. She’s having a really difficult time reconciling
everything. Aaron thinks it made her look at studying law differently. She’s so worried about her attacker getting off,” I relayed. “And she’s also mentioned that to me.”

  “I wondered about her only taking a couple months off to recover before starting law school,” Jason said.

  “She was so afraid of not getting in at a later date that I think she just put everything aside to deal with it later.”

  “That doesn’t ever really work out well.” Jason shot me a roguish smile and I had to laugh.

  The first text came over.

  “Speak of the devil,” I laughed. “Brandy loves the picture.”

  I texted back and asked if she was available on Saturday for dinner at the diner. She texted right back that she and Aaron would be there in a heartbeat. The texts began coming nonstop with such sweet sentiments about our new addition.

  “Looks like everyone can come tomorrow. I better call the diner and reserve the large booth.”

  “I can handle that,” Jason said, standing up and placing a kiss on my forehead. “If you think you’re coming down with something, why don’t you take a nap? I’ll keep an eye on Katie.” He motioned toward the futon we had in the office, and I had to admit, it was very tempting. Maybe I was low on iron or something.

  Jason lifted the throw from the futon, and I stood up, deciding that a nap couldn’t hurt. I made my way over to the futon and stretched out. This was exactly what I needed. Jason spread the blanket over me, and kissed my cheek before he left.

  I closed my eyes and slipped into a much-needed slumber.

  We had a blissful night. Katie went right to bed and fell asleep. By the time morning rolled around I felt more refreshed. The nap yesterday really helped. Jason went into the shop to check on a few things, but he planned to be back to the house around noon. Katie just had a bath and looked as cute as ever with the outfit she’d picked. She decided on red and white striped leggings and a black sweatshirt. Lily had bought the outfit. I, of course, took a picture and couldn’t wait to text it to Lily.

  Would you like to go to the bakery?” I asked, running a brush through her hair. “There are lots of cookies there. Maybe you could even help Emily make some.”

  “I love cookies,” Katie said.