Karina’s shoe caught on the edge of the bamboo rug as Julius eased her across the threshold onto the porch. His grip tightened on her elbow to make sure she didn’t trip. “I’ll call you,” he said, just before he flashed her his winning smile and politely closed the door on her stunned, open-mouthed expression.
Julius made sure to lock the door before he turned and jogged up the stairs to his—correction Caress’s—bedroom. He knocked twice.
Nothing.
He knocked twice again using his knuckle, the gold from his fraternity ring flashing. “Caress?” he called out softly, leaning his head forward a bit.
The door suddenly swung open and she walked out, sending a cool breeze over his body as she passed him dressed in her leather coat and snug woolen cap. “I guess we should work out something for moments like this. Maybe a tie on the door or leaving the porch light on,” she told him over her shoulders as she walked like she was trying to win a marathon.
Julius’s head swung to the right to watch her head and body slowly disappearing as she headed down the stairs. He followed her. “That’s not necessary—”
Caress was at the front door pulling her keys from her pocket. “I’ll head to Tamara’s or the movies or something to give you privacy.”
“Caress—”
SLAM.
Just like that, Julius was left with nothing but the wind breezing against his face as Caress left the house quicker than he could stop her. Moments later, lights flashed in the depths of his eyes as she backed her car out of the driveway.
He didn’t bother opening the door and attempting to chase after her. Caress was gone and there was no stopping her. Besides, he didn’t ask her to make assumptions.
Truth? He didn’t ask her to move in here and interrupt his life either.
Yes, he had wanted to hook up with Caress again, but live with her? Have a baby with her? That all went way beyond another steamy X-rated sexfest that made his toes curl up and his dick straighten out.
Releasing a deep sigh, he tried to maneuver his neck to release the tension he felt across his broad shoulders as he made his way back down into his darkroom. As soon as he reached the basement floor he flipped the switch to bask the room in darkness. The red-colored safelight gave him just enough light to see what he was doing without exposing the paper to brighter light that would destroy it.
His darkroom was his savior. Every element of the process of developing film was a challenge to him. Digital photography helped to make the actual need for film developing archaic, but like a true artist and appreciator of his craft, Julius used any opportunity he could to develop his own photography. From taking the shot to seeing it on print, he was the master of his craft…and that was just the way he wanted it.
For now, the only thing he wanted to focus on was developing the reels and reels of the black-and-white film he brought back from his trip. His color films were all digital since the process of developing was far more complex than black-and-white film. His book would have an eclectic mix of pictures representing everything he discovered, loved, and cherished during his days in Africa. His Africa.
For the next two hours he became lost in his work. His photos were about more than just the tribal shots and the large stretches of wilderness. He had those and more. The culture. The food. The modern day amenities. The art. The architecture.
In moments the slowly developing images in the citric acid stop bath would make him smile at a memory—like the laughing faces of the students at Oprah’s Leadership Academy in South Africa. Or make him feel inspired—like the school in the Njala Kendema village. Or make him sad—like the many faces of the women and children dying from AIDS.
He would never forget his time there, and he hoped those who purchased his book would feel inspired to experience it all for themselves. There was no denying that a trip back to the motherland was something any and all African-Americans should experience.
One day when I have kids I’ll take them , he thought.
His gut clenched.
One day wasn’t as far off as it had been yesterday.
Caress was supposedly pregnant with his child. In around six months he would be a father. Jesus.
Growing up in Stellar Home projects to a mother addicted to dope and never really missing a father who was never around, Julius had made a better life for himself…by himself. His goals were accomplished. He was a college graduate. He was a celebrated and noted photographer. He owned his own homes—one here in his beloved hometown of Newark and an apartment in Miami. Not bad for a orphan kid from the projects whose mother only gave him two things he cherished before she died of an overdose. The first was bringing him into the world, and the second was a used Poloroid camera from a yard sale at some church.
But now everything was on the verge of changing because baby mama drama had never been a part of his plan. Still, he would never be the deadbeat his own father was. Ready or not, Julius Jones would soon add the label of father to his biography.
Feeling the tension in his shoulders and neck again, Julius gave up on trying to get any more work done. He crossed the floor to bask the room with light before he washed his hands in the small black sink in the corner of the basement. Before he climbed the stairs, he cast one last look over his shoulder at the dozens of photos drying on the lines stretched across the ceiling.
In the foyer, Julius checked out the window to see if Caress’s battered little Jetta was parked out front. He frowned a little and glanced down at his watch before he turned and strode slowly to his study. It was a little after midnight and Caress was still making herself scarce for him.
At this exact moment, Caress was somewhere out there thinking he was with another woman. The whole damn thing was crazy to him.
The only thing about to get wet was his tongue.
Julius headed down the hall to his kitchen—his first time in it since his return from Africa. What he saw made him want to walk back to the Motherland. His newly renovated kitchen, complete with Viking appliances, granite countertops, and tiled floors looked like a tornado had gone through it.
A tornado named Caress.
Irritation caused his jaw to tighten as his hawk-like eyes took in every infraction on his peace.
The dishes on the counter. The wet dishcloth balled up on the edge of the sink. The few sandwich crumbs in the center of the island. The row of empty Snapple bottles lined up by the back door like prisoners. The haphazard way the slats of the wooden blinds hung at the window over the sink. The random items atop his normally clear and clutter-free countertop. The boxes of cereal atop his fridge. The sticky stains on the floor in front of his fridge.
Julius’s frown deepened. Is that Kool-Aid?
He thought back to the night he spent at Caress’s apartment. True, most of his focus had been on tasting and touching every inch of her body, but he hadn’t missed that her little studio apartment could use some work.
At first he attributed the mess to a working woman rushing to get ready for a date; now, however, he realized he’d sniffed out a slob.
Julius turned on the WBGO’s Jazz 88 station and turned up the classic Miles Davis joint as loud as it would go before he got to work making his kitchen look like it was ready for a photo shoot in Architectural Digest again. He couldn’t help but mutter to himself as he worked. He felt like a bear coming back to find Goldilocks had taken up residence in his house.
A piece of him was tempted as hell to leave the mess for Caress but maybe this was
clean to her. The thought of that made him nervous as hell. He’d left the rats and roaches behind a long time ago. Living in a hellhole was not his idea of upward mobility. Far from it.
“Damn,” he swore, as he continued to work.
Caress left the movie theater and couldn’t for the life of her describe the flick she’d just sat through. Images of Julius making love to Karina with the same ferocity and passion he had with on her all those months ago had her head good and messed up. Especially since she left them to do the do.
What right did she have to throw Karina out on her ass?
What right did she have to demand that Julius send her and her too tall, too thin, too hungry-looking self from there.
No, instead she took the high road and left her baby’s daddy to his booty call…and he let her go.
Caress rolled her eyes as she felt the need to pee. That and the constant morning sickness—that wasn’t isolated to just the mornings—was her reminder of the baby she carried. She wasn’t showing yet at just twelve weeks but her body was starting to feel it.
She turned around and went back inside the movie theater on Springfield Avenue and Bergen Street. She decided that trying to risk getting back to the house before she relieved herself was risky.
“What’s up, mami?”
Caress saw the tall dark-skinned brother trying to get her attention as she practically ran to the ladies room, but she ignored him. She didn’t mean to be rude, but when you gotta go…you gotta go.
She was walking back out of the bathroom when she almost walked into the same man. She stopped short and the bathroom door swung closed and bumped her solidly against her full behind.
“How you doing?” he said, his white teeth shining brightly against his smooth, dark complexion.
“Uhm, I’m good,” she said with obvious hesitation before she took two steps over to get some space.
“I—”
Caress held up her hand and released a breath. Her nipples were starting to throb and she really wanted to climb into bed and forget about Karina, Julius, Karina and Julius, and everything else too. “Listen, I’m pregnant and I live with my baby’s daddy,” she told him with no nonsense. His whole face changed just like that as his eyes darted down to her flat belly and back up to her face.
Caress bit back a smile. Poor baby , she thought as he turned and walked away. He was cute, too .
She slid her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket as she made her way out of the movie theater again and into the cold winter air. As she made her way to her car, she thought about just what her situation meant in terms of dating. She snorted as she pulled her keys out of her purse.
“Let’s see…” she said aloud to herself as she unlocked the driver’s side door.
“I’m unemployed. Homeless. Pregnant.” Caress slid inside her car and laughed, just a touch bitterly, as she said a quick prayer she’d have a drama-free start of the engine. “Yes, men of the world, bring…it…on.”
The car started without major fuss and Caress was more than glad to drive her little Jetta out of the busy parking lot and onto Springfield Avenue headed toward…
Toward where? Home? Well, it wasn’t her home and she was very aware of that fact. Just as aware as she was that Julius was not her man.
Was Karina gone? Was she spending the night?
Caress felt her cheeks warm noticeably as she pulled to a stop at a red light. She thought about heading to Tamara and Kendrick’s when she left Julius to his date, but her embarrassment pushed her to come up with something else. Who in her right mind would want to admit the truth about why she had to leave the house?
As she accelerated her little car forward, Caress thought of the other woman. Humph. So that was his type? Tall, thin, flashy…pretty as a model.
Caress couldn’t deny the woman’s beauty no matter how much she wanted to. Of course, Julius wanted her…had her…was having her right now.
“Oh shit,” she muttered, tapping her hand against the steering wheel.
The radio had long ago stopped working, and needing a distraction, she pushed play on the CD player. Soon the sounds of Lauryn Hill’s voice filled the interior.
Living with Julius was just not going to work. In fact, the whole idea of it was almost as stupid as them having unprotected sex and making this baby that neither was ready for. And now? Now they were in one hell of a fix.
She had to get another job and find her own place. No doubt about it.
Caress was relieved to see Karina’s flashy silver Benz gone from the spot where it was parked in front of Julius’s house. Perhaps the tryst was over.
Or maybe it was more than a tryst?
She paused as she sat in the driveway and looked up at the house through the windshield. She did know from Tamara that Julius didn’t have a steady girlfriend, and during her brief time at the house she didn’t answer his phone, but she’d overheard plenty of sultry-voiced women leaving messages before she finally turned the volume down on the machine.
It was hard to swallow being one of many.
Shaking her head at the shame of it all, Caress left her car and made her way into the house through the side entrance leading directly into the kitchen. Her steps faltered at the sight of Julius standing at the kitchen sink.
He looked up and their eyes locked.
She immediately noticed that he looked annoyed.
“Welcome back,” he said, his tone short.
She stiffened. Her eyes shifted quickly about the room. She was looking to see if he was alone.
“She’s gone,” he said with finality.
Caress’s lips formed an O and she looked apologetic as she stepped in and softly closed the kitchen door. “Listen, Julius, I’m sorry about all of this. Please don’t think I’m out to trap you or screw up your life—”
“Caress.”
She shifted her eyes up to his and then shifted them away just as quickly. “This shit is…all of it is…is…embarrassing, frightening, foolishness…”
Julius nodded as he turned sideways and leaned his hip against the sink to cross his strong arms over his chest. “I won’t have women over while you’re living here, Caress,” he told her as he cast those intense eyes on her.
“That’s not necessary—”
“Yes, it is,” he insisted in a strong voice.
She hated to ask. She really did…but she had to. “Karina?”
“Left right after you did.”
He continued to watch her closely, and it made Caress feel nervous. “I appreciate you helping me out, Julius,” she said, not sure what else to say. “I know you don’t know me, but it’s been awhile since I’ve asked somebody for help or even had anybody that I could ask.”
His eyes squinted as he continued to watch her.
She ran her hands over her hair as she felt tears build. Damn hormones , she thought, hating the feelings she had officially designated as “the weepies.”
Julius pushed off the sink and Caress couldn’t help but notice everything about him.
The way the soft hairs on his chest peeked above the open buttons of his linen shirt. The strength in his walk. The soft and subtle scent of his cologne. The fullness of his bottom lips. The intensity of his eyes. The man was impossibly sexy.
She saw his hands reach out to take her. Comfort her. Hold her.
It w
as way more than she could handle in that moment. Way more.
“I’m gonna turn in,” she said softly, shifting past his embrace to walk fast as hell out of the kitchen. She never looked back as she raced up the stairs and into the bedroom. As soon as the door closed, she pressed her back to it and slid her hands down to lightly rub her belly as she waited for the longest time for her heartbeat to slow down.
Something as simple as a hug from Julius would have turned her knees to jelly and her senses would have flown out the window again and she would have easily snuggled her lips against his. Something about that man was dangerous to her common sense and until she found her own spot she had to find a way to avoid that same electric pull from that night they shared.
Caress’s hands flew to her mouth as she felt the greasy hotdog she’d had at the movies work its way up. She dashed to the adjoining bathroom just in time to reach the toilet.
As she felt that steady thump-thump of her core ease she was actually glad for the morning sickness.
Julius leaned his head closer to the bedroom door as he listened to the awful sounds of Caress retching. He came upstairs to retrieve fresh linens from the hall closet and overheard her. He fought the urge to barge in and go to her. It was obvious she wanted distance from him.
Still, it wasn’t until he heard the toilet flush and her moving about with normalcy inside the bedroom that he finally moved away from the door to retrieve his linens and make his way back downstairs to sleep on the couch.
Chapter Five
Caress was tired with a capital T.
She used her key to enter the house and dropped her purse and winter coat on the foyer table before she made her way to the guest bathroom to relieve herself. She had two inter views today—and that made four this week—and Caress was praying like crazy that one of them panned out. Looking in the papers for apartments was all well and good but without money it was all just a dream.
Make You Mine Page 5