“He absolutely does. I realize Brian and Sasha are helping you tomorrow and also your mom. If you’d rather stay home and not watch your things go, I’m certain we could manage.”
It was kind of him to offer, but this wasn’t something I could do via proxy. “I need to be there and see it through, but thank you for understanding how difficult it will be.”
“Where is this new place you’re moving to?”
I hesitated, not knowing how he felt about me making plans without him. “It’s a small rental townhouse with two bedrooms. It’s month to month. I just wanted to get out of my mom’s house.” Shit. I sounded apologetic.
“It’s okay for you to have plans. You couldn’t put everything on pause, waiting for me.”
I wanted so badly to ask when he thought he’d be ready to give up Connecticut and all of his memories up there. But one step at a time.
He smiled, his fingers finding my most intimate spot. “Now then, since you bought us two hours, I intend on using every minute.”
***
I knew the garage sale today would be rough, but that was an understatement. Watching strangers haul to their vehicles the living room furniture I’d bought as a newlywed was like an emotional gut punch. But I also knew I didn’t want to take those memories with me into a new home. I was even selling the sheets, towels, dishes, and other wedding gifts that had originally set up my old home.
A couple hours in, Sasha came up and studied my face. “You doing all right?”
“Getting there. After closing and turning over the keys, I think I’ll be better.”
She squeezed my hand and then looked beyond me toward Mark. He was lifting a very heavy box of books for a woman who’d purchased them. “Huh, Mark has muscles.”
Brian came up from behind, putting his arms around her. “Nuh-uh, no way. You made your choice. Plus, I have muscles, too. Not to mention I’m really great at—”
Both Sasha and I held up our hands. I laughed. “I really don’t need to hear you finish that sentence.” I caught Mark’s gaze across the room and grinned.
He winked and then helped the older woman out to her car with the box. He’d been here all day, lifting, lugging, and packing.
And so had Brian and Sasha, along with my mother. I was where I needed to be, surrounded by everyone I loved.
By the time it was over, we’d sold all the furniture and bagged up any leftover clothing, kitchen, and garage stuff to give to charity. My mom had left to take her load to Goodwill and pick up Tristan. He’d been staying with my aunt and uncle for the day. Next, Sasha and Brian loaded up their car. They were nice enough to drop off the clothing that Rob’s parents hadn’t wanted at a shelter that was eager for the donation. Afterward, they would meet us at my new rental to help move some stuff in.
I walked from room to room, gathering up the few little things left and, in my own way, saying a final goodbye. My last stop was the master bedroom. Here I paused, hugging my arms to my body. This particular room had been such a source of happiness in the beginning, but had become a place of bitterness and resentment only a few months ago. Now it only left me sad. And just when I thought I had no more tears to give him, they came now, most inconveniently.
Strong arms came around from the back and turned me. Soon I was crying in Mark’s embrace. He stood there stroking my back and holding me until I had no more tears to shed.
“I’m being stupid. I mean, why now would I cry over this house?”
“Because you loved Rob once, and this house represented your future together. There are good memories here, Jules. And those are hard to say goodbye to.”
Now I understood more than ever why Mark hadn’t been able to sell his home. He’d been preserving those precious memories all these years. “Thank you for being here and for understanding.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Now, how about I pick up pizzas for everyone and meet you at your new place?”
“Sounds great.”
***
Long after everyone had left, all the boxes had been shoved inside my townhouse, and Tristan had fallen fast asleep in his new room, Mark and I snuggled on my new sofa. Not fifteen minutes before, we’d happily christened it with a new memory.
My fingers trailed down his chest as I enjoyed this lazy cuddling. “This weekend is Sasha’s bridal shower, but I was thinking maybe Tristan and I could come up to Connecticut the next weekend. It’s the last one before the wedding.” It was only fair to take a turn and not make him travel every time.
“Unfortunately, I can’t do that weekend.”
“Oh. Okay.” I wanted to ask so badly what he was doing, but I waited him out to see if he would volunteer the information. Luckily, I wasn’t disappointed.
He sighed heavily. “I planned on telling you although I wasn’t sure how or when. That Sunday is the anniversary of Sarah’s death.”
I let his words sink in.
“I, uh, I spend it with her family.”
“Of course. Yes. That makes sense. And I’m glad you told me.” Although I absolutely understood, it didn’t hurt any less. I’d thought we’d come so far, but this was a reminder that he wasn’t yet ready to let go. Then again, how could I ask him to? Being with her family probably gave both him and them comfort during a difficult time. I could never ask him to give that up.
“But I’ll see you at the wedding. How’s your toast coming, by the way?”
“I haven’t started working on it yet, but something will come to me.” Hopefully.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The mind can go from being completely rational to spiraling out of control and imagining all sorts of scenarios. Those were the extremes I’d gone to over the last few days. Not that I shared the issue with anyone. This time period was about Sasha and Brian and all of the festivities leading up to their wedding day. But I worried Mark would take a step back since the previous weekend had been the anniversary of his fiancée’s death.
The fact I hadn’t heard from him in days was doing nothing to quell my fears. It was Thursday morning. Four days since the anniversary. Five days since I’d last spoken with him. My fingers hovered over the icon on my phone’s screen, ready to dial. Or maybe I should text. Darn. Or maybe I should stop stressing about it. Which led me back to the idea of simply calling him because the only way to stop my anxiety was to hear his voice and ensure we were still fine.
Finally, during my lunch hour when I couldn’t wait any longer, I closed my office door and dialed his number. My heart lodged in my throat while the phone rang. Once, twice, three times. Just as I expected it to go to voicemail, finally a click and “Hello.”
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Hey. Um, is everything all right? Tristan okay?”
It was like that now? I had to be calling for a problem? “He’s fine. How are you?” Why haven’t you called me, my subconscious screamed.
“Okay, but I’m sort of in the middle of some stuff here. Can I call you back? Maybe tomorrow? Or I’ll see you on Saturday at the wedding.”
I fought the hurt. “Yeah. I guess.” I could hear voices in the background and wondered if they belonged to Sarah’s family.
“Jules, I just need time here. I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’ll see you Saturday though and we’ll talk then. Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” I mean what else could I say.
The sound of the disconnect left me cold. Although I didn’t want to believe he wasn’t ready to move on from Sarah and the memories, it might be time for me come to terms with that reality. In fact, he may always need more time.
***
Mark hadn’t called. And I had a wedding to prepare for, so I didn’t have the time if he had. At least, that’s what I told myself because I certainly wasn’t going to spend time obsessing over what him needing time meant. Right.
In any event, I was here for my friends today. I certainly wouldn’t let things with Mark ruin that.
When I looked in the reflection of my hotel
room mirror, I smiled. At least I felt good about myself today. It was the first time in a long while. I’d gone to the salon together with Sasha, Kenzie, Catherine, and Haylee. I’d had my hair done and even a manicure. Then we’d all had our makeup professionally applied. I felt pretty in my red dress. When we’d gone shopping last weekend, Sasha had insisted the color would make me feel cheerful as well as complement my brunette locks. I had to agree. It also felt good to step out of the color black for a change.
It was cold as hell at the February beach wedding in North Carolina. But my two best friends marrying at sunset in an intimate ceremony at Sasha’s favorite spot was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever witnessed. The love Sasha and Brian expressed for one another brought tears to my eyes.
I noticed the moment Mark arrived. Although he stood over with Josh and Haylee on one side of the couple while I was with Kenzie and Colby on the other side, he did give me a smile. The nerdy-hot kind that made my stomach do somersaults.
But he didn’t make a move to go with us back to the reception hall. And forty minutes later, he still hadn’t shown up at the party. By then, I was ready to stab ‘hope’ along with her friend ‘time’ with my fork if either of them were mentioned again.
I forced a smile and took a seat next to Kenzie. She excitedly told me about her backup singing gig which started touring in March. Considering I’d practically seen Brian’s little sister grow up, I enjoyed catching up with her. Better to do that than pathetically scan the room for Mark.
Matter of fact, I made a decision. Mark could seek me out instead of me stalking the entrance waiting on him. I threw a cocktail back—only one for now because I had a toast to give later, resolving to enjoy myself despite my emotional turmoil.
As everyone took their seats for dinner, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning, I gave a smile to the handsome groom.
“Hey, you ready to do your toast?” Brian queried.
At least he made it easy to focus back on the here and now. “You bet. The question really is: are you ready?”
Brian chuckled. “Absolutely.”
I got up out of my chair and followed him to the front where—gulp—they had a stage. Someone handed me a microphone.
Then my goofball of a boss did something unexpected. He turned to me and got serious. “Juliette, you’re like the older sister I never had. I hope you know that.”
It took a full three seconds for his words to seep in and for me to swat him. “Hey, I’m younger than you. And don’t you know better than to rile up the person about to make the speech?”
He laughed but then kissed my cheek. “I was only kidding—about the older part. Thank you for agreeing to do this. It means a lot.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s an honor. Besides, it was kind of a group effort.”
“What?” Suddenly, he started to look nervous.
But it was too late. I gave a nod to Colby, who brought out a wheeled projector. Kenzie meanwhile got the large screen ready on the other side of the room. See, it paid to have a movie producer in this circle, not to mention access to the many embarrassing photos I’d gathered from family and friends.
I watched the lights go down and then the spotlight shine on me. Damn. No pressure. The sounds of clinking glasses silenced the room and the two hundred plus people who’d come for the reception party at the country club.
I glanced over toward the beautiful bride and groom. Emotions got stuck in my throat because of how happy they looked and also because of what they represented. True love.
“Hi, ya’ll. I’m Juliette. And I was asked to give a speech tonight about the happy couple. Although I give it five minutes before they may be regretting that request.”
A few chuckles from the crowd.
“Now then, in order to get the full picture of this love story, I think we need to go back to the beginning.”
Up flashed a picture of Brian at about two years old, naked as a jaybird.
“There once was a little boy who was cute as could be,
Who always had a smile on his face as we all can see.”
And so the rhyming story went on through four more awkward pictures of Brian before switching to Sasha growing up.
Then, finally, we arrived at a picture I’d snapped about eight years ago when we’d all started working together. It showed Sasha and Brian at a bar during a happy hour. She had a smile on her face and it was clear he’d put it there. The entire crowd did a collective “aww.” I could see by the stunned looks on the bride and groom’s faces that they’d never seen the photo before.
“When boy met girl, the question he asked was,
Find out her name and do it fast.
But I did one better, don’t you know,
I snapped this picture hoping someday I would show
The moment it became clear to me
That you two together was meant to be.”
The final photograph was of them at their engagement party smiling for the camera. There I finished my speech, trying to control the emotion welling up.
“So that’s the end of my rhyme as I’m almost out of time. But, uh…”
I glanced down at the notecard with the words in front of me, but I couldn’t focus on them. Instead, I chose to go from my heart.
“I couldn’t get this last part to rhyme, so I’m just going to say it—” I lifted my gaze to the crowd and saw Mark across the room with eyes on me.
Breathe, Juliette.
“It’s rare when you get to see two people more in sync and more in love than these two.”
And right there on that stage, it hit me. If anything were to happen to one of them, I couldn’t imagine the other one finding someone else. Ever. They were it for one another. What if Sarah had been it for Mark?
“I think the kind of love Sasha and Brian have for one another only comes around once in a lifetime.”
I had to fight back my tears and keep from making eye contact with Mark. Because I finally got it. It was sinking in why he couldn’t move on. Why he was unable to love me. Because the type of love he’d felt for Sarah wasn’t the kind you could ever recover from losing, let alone put a time limit on.
“I love them as my friends, adore them as my coworkers, and think of them as family. So let’s raise our glasses to Sasha and Brian and wish them all the happiness in the world.”
I held up my glass and watched while the lights came up and everyone toasted. The entire room was clapping. Soon I was engulfed in hugs by the happy couple.
As I turned to step off the stage and go back to my table, Mark immediately came up to me. “That was great. Especially the slideshow.”
“Yeah, well, no small animals were harmed, and no embarrassing information shared, so I guess we could call it a win.”
He grinned. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
I couldn’t do this. Not right now. Not at the wedding in front of a bunch of people and definitely not after my revelation. Luckily, I was saved by the bell, in the form of Brian’s mother.
“Mark, can we get pictures of you and Josh with the groom, please?”
He appeared hesitant to leave my side, but I took the out and encouraged him. “Go on.”
I stood watching for a few minutes while the three college friends stood for pictures, and then I walked towards the bar. I needed a few minutes of alone time with two cocktails. Slipping out of the ballroom while everyone was busy doing pictures was easy. Luckily, I found the women’s lounge upstairs. Gotta love a country club because it wasn’t merely a bathroom, but a full-out lady’s lounge, complete with plush sofas. Perfect.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t even taken a first sip before the door opened. I was unsure about the etiquette of downing two martinis in the ladies’ room but wasn’t sure I cared. Bracing myself to smile at the stranger, I was surprised to see it was Sasha.
“Oh, thank God it’s you.”
She flopped down next to me in her beautiful designer wedding gown. “That’s my line. I need a m
oment away from my new mother-in-law. Hey, do you have an extra?” She was eyeing my second martini.
Because I loved her and she was the bride, I handed it over. “Here you go. What happened?”
“Nothing major. But you know me with people. I just needed a little break, and then I’ll go back. Brian is out smoking cigars with his friends on the balcony, so it’s the perfect time. Loved your speech, by the way. And I want a copy of that photo from the slideshow. It was such a shock to see us from so many years ago.”
“Ha. Well, then, you’ll be happy with your wedding gift.” I’d framed it for them.
“You doing okay?”
Nope. But there was no way I was going to unload on her even a little bit on her wedding day. “Yeah. Everything is good.”
She quirked a brow. “As in hiding-in-the-ladies’-room-with-two-martinis good?”
I laughed, about to make some sort of joke, when the door opened again. We both were relieved to see Catherine come in, looking gorgeous in a stunning blue dress.
“What are you girls up to?” She eyed our glasses.
“Hiding from my mother-in-law. Juliette supplied the martini.”
She laughed and took a seat on the sofa across from us. “I love these shoes, but they’re killing my feet. And since Will is out smoking cigars with the guys, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to take a break.”
“I’ll text Kenzie to bring backup drinks. Come to think of it, she should just bring the bottle.” Sasha grabbed my phone.
I clinked my glass with hers as that sounded like a fine idea. I would return to the reception in a few minutes, but this was nice, hanging out with just the girls.
Haylee and Kenzie must’ve thought so, too, because they snuck in not only a bottle of vodka and another of champagne, but also managed a tray of the chocolate-covered strawberries.
All of us girls hung out for the next fifteen minutes until there was a knock on the door. We all looked at one another, wondering who could it be. Finally, Kenzie got up to answer.
Show Me Something (Something Series Book 5) Page 26