by Linda Ford
She nodded. “I will walk.”
He held her hands and helped her to her feet. His heart twisted as she grimaced and her face paled. She struggled a few yards.
“I not walk.” She yanked away from him and dropped to her hands and knees. “I not want to walk anymore.”
John scooped up the child and pressed her to his chest.
Kody closed his eyes as Star buried her face against John’s shoulder. He didn’t want to do this any more than Star did. But didn’t she deserve a chance?
Charlotte touched his arm. “Give her time to get used to them.”
He reached for her hand and held it, willingly accepting her sympathy and understanding.
“We’ll give it a fair try. Is everyone agreed?” he asked.
John and Morning nodded, though their eyes filled with distress.
Charlotte squeezed Kody’s hand. He knew she understood how much it hurt to have to do this and he clung to her strength.
Morning prepared lunch, but Kody had no appetite. He couldn’t bear to watch Star crawl about on her hands and knees, her face drawn with pain and determination.
He put aside his plate and sat on the ground beside her. “Sometimes people have to hurt you because they love you.” He didn’t expect that made any more sense to her than it did to him. “I only want to see your foot better. That’s what we all want.”
The other three murmured agreement.
He remembered the candy Amy had given him and pulled it from his pocket. He handed it to Star.
“Thank you,” she said, but stared at it with little interest. Finally, she popped it into her mouth all the while staring into Kody’s face with an accusing look. “Good,” she murmured without enthusiasm.
His heart ached clear to his toes.
They didn’t stay long after that. It was too difficult watching Star struggle.
“You will see that she wears them?” Kody asked John as he walked with them to the car.
“Yes. It is the only way to fix her foot.” The resignation in his friend’s voice echoed Kody’s own feelings.
He slipped out after supper while Charlotte helped clean up, hoping to ride away before she discovered his purpose. But as he tossed the saddle onto Sam’s back, he heard the door shut and knew he wouldn’t succeed.
“Oh. You’re going somewhere.”
He ducked his head to hide his smile at how disappointed she sounded. Could be she had come to enjoy their evening hours together as much as he did. His smile fled. He walked in dangerous territory, allowing himself this forbidden pleasure—loving her, but knowing he had to ride away. “I’ve got something to tend to.”
She came around Sam so she could see him. “You’re going to try and catch whoever is stealing things around here, aren’t you?”
“Huh.”
She grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. “Tell me you aren’t going alone.”
Her concern was honey to his soul. Oh, to have this interest in his welfare for the rest of his life. He sucked in the smell of horseflesh and forced resolve into his thoughts. “Matter of fact, Jed Hawkes is going with me. I figured no one would believe me if I turned in two scoundrels.”
“Two? You’re going after two?” She sucked in air and seemed to struggle to control her reaction. “Jed’s a good man. I know him and Bess from church, but two evil men? Won’t you need more help than that?”
He touched her cheek, wanting to ease her worry. “This pair won’t be more than the two of us can handle.”
Her expression relaxed as he rubbed his knuckles against her kitten-soft skin. Then she grabbed his hand and squeezed it between hers. “How can you be so sure?”
He couldn’t stand her distress. “I think it’s Shorty and Ratface. We both know they’re halfways cowards.”
“You think they’re still around here? That campsite on the way to the reservation has long been abandoned.”
“I saw another campsite that looked like it had exploded. Guessed it was probably them.” He reluctantly extricated his hand so he could tighten the cinch.
She touched his shoulder. “Kody, be careful.”
Her words held more power than a loaded gun, and he straightened and faced her, knowing it was probably the most dangerous thing he’d ever done in his life. “Charlotte, I ain’t no fool. I don’t take chances.”
She nodded, but her eyes remained troubled.
He leaned over and kissed her gently, longingly. If only…But there could be no if onlys. He let his lips linger a heartbeat, excusing himself, saying he had to reassure her, but promising it would be the last time he kissed her. Soon as he completed tonight’s task, he would have no further excuse for staying.
He’d been right. The campsite belonged to Shorty and Ratface. And the pair was there. Kody and Jed stayed out of sight, watching them. Then followed as the the scoundrels set out at dusk. Shorty and Ratface made no attempt to be quiet, nor did they check the trail to see if anyone followed.
“Like I told Charlotte, they aren’t the reddest apples on the tree,” Kody murmured. But smart or not, if these two were guilty of what he suspected, they had to be stopped, and he didn’t suppose they would take kindly to someone putting an end to their free pickin’s. Cowards could be deadly when cornered. He knew enough to be careful.
They followed the pair to town, then down a back alley to a darkened house.
“The Sloans,” Jed whispered. “It’s no secret they’ve gone to visit their daughter in Missoula.”
Jed and Kody hung back, watching, as the other two prowled around the house, gunny sacks draped over their shoulders. They waited as Shorty tried the back door, found it wasn’t locked and tossed aside his crowbar. When the two scuttled inside, Jed and Kody dropped silently from their mounts and eased up to the yawning door. When the pair returned with their arms full, Kody and Jed greeted them with drawn guns.
“Put that stuff down real slow and get your hands in the air.”
“I’ll hold them. You go get the sheriff,” Jed said.
Kody nodded. Any other way and suspicion would be cast on him.
He returned in a few minutes with the sheriff and sighed with satisfaction as the pair were cuffed and dragged off to jail.
The sheriff leaned back in his chair as Kody and Jed gave their statements. “I thank you for your help.” He fixed Kody with an appraising look. “The town could use more men like you.”
Kody shook hands with the lawman and strode out. It felt good to hear such words. He wished he could stay, put down roots here, marry a certain young woman and be a father to his daughter, but in the end, nothing had changed. He was still a half-breed. He still had no idea who he was or what he’d come from. Nor would the sheriff’s approval change the way Mr. Boulter treated him. He did not intend to share the realities of his life with Charlotte or Star. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. He’d let Charlotte know Ratface and Shorty wouldn’t be bothering her. And then…
He pulled his hat down over his eyes. He’d about run out of excuses for not leaving.
Pa was to preach this morning. Kody planned to go to church and hear him. He didn’t have a whole lot of choice, seeing as he’d hung around long after he should have gone, telling himself he had to see Pa well enough to take over his regular tasks before he left.
He’d intended to spend less time with Charlotte, knowing he might as well get used to living without her company. Instead, he spent every possible moment with her. Evenings after they both finished work for the day were gentle, satisfying hours he knew he would relive over and over when he settled in Canada, but her days off were…
He closed his eyes at the bittersweetness of them.
They usually went to the reservation. It provided a handy excuse for spending the day with her. But seeing Star grow more and more frustrated with those torturous shoes was like a lance straight through his heart. The cheerful, outgoing, sweet child grew unhappy and discontent. Her eyes filled with dark accusation when he visited
. Not even the toys he took erased it. He hated being the cause of her pain. He wanted nothing more than to take those shoes off and burn them. Only the hope she might one day walk properly gave him the strength to endure her misery.
Charlotte understood his pain, perhaps even shared it, for she, too, loved Star. He found comfort in her presence, in the way she touched his arm. And yes, despite his vow otherwise, he kissed her again. Almost every time they left the reservation. He needed to feel her love and accept it for a few minutes. The memory of those kisses and her sweet love would have to last him a long, long time. He would finish packing today. He would leave first thing tomorrow morning.
He stood in the middle of his bedroom, holding several western novels, trying to decide which ones to pack for reading material and which to leave behind. If he wasn’t such a sentimental fool he would simply buy new ones, but he wanted the memories associated with these familiar ones. He randomly selected the one in his right hand and dropped it on the bed, along with the picture of him taken with his parents when he started school and the Bible presented to him for perfect attendance in Sunday school. He snorted. Wasn’t hard to be there every Sunday when your father was the preacher. He would probably never read it, but again, sentimental value made him decide to take it.
He looked around the room. What else did he want to take? Nothing. He meant to start over.
Groaning, he sank to the edge of his bed.
He didn’t want to leave.
But he’d run out of excuses to stay.
He had to go. The sooner, the better. His feet like lead on every step, he made his way downstairs for breakfast.
They drove to church, so Pa wouldn’t be worn-out by the time they arrived. Kody hung back as they stepped into the churchyard. “Best if I wait a bit and sit in the back.”
Ma and Pa paused, exchanged a look and Ma turned to argue.
“Go ahead. Everyone will want to greet Pa.”
Reluctantly they left him. Charlotte stayed beside Kody and slipped her hand through the crook of his arm. He squeezed his elbow to his side, pressing her hard to him, and fought an urge to declare his undying love. He noted many surprised glances in his direction. They convinced him to keep his mouth shut on the matter. Charlotte deserved acceptance, not the kind of looks several of the women sent his way. Then Jed saw him and waved. He and Bess hurried to join them.
“Glad to see you,” Jed said. “I hoped you’d be here. I have a favor to ask.”
“I’ll do whatever I can. What is it?”
“I’m rounding up some horses tomorrow. They’ve been running free all year. I could sure use help from a man like you.”
Kody kept his face expressionless, but Jed’s words raced through him with a force sucking at his lungs. A man like you. Jed meant it as a good thing. “I’ll be there first light.” Another delay. And how he welcomed it.
They hurried inside. Jed and Bess indicated they should sit in the same pew and Kody gratefully accepted, sliding in beside Charlotte.
The congregation stood to sing the first hymn. He didn’t bother opening the hymnal but sang words as familiar as Pa’s face. Charlotte’s clear, sweet voice joined his. A deep joy filled his heart. This felt as good as coming home.
And then Pa took his place at the pulpit, and Kody strained toward his words. Pa’s speech was still slightly slurred. He spoke slower than he once had and he paused often as he struggled to find a word, but the same familiar power drove the words deep into Kody’s heart.
The sermon reminded everyone God’s love didn’t change. It didn’t depend on circumstances, health or what other people said or did. It didn’t depend on wealth or belongings. It depended on God’s word. His unchanging word.
“We are reminded in Hebrews, chapter thirteen, verse eight, that ‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today and forever.’ He has taught us to pray, ‘Give us today our daily bread.’ My prayer for myself and each of you is we will accept God’s promise of love, trust in Him for what we need today and stop fretting about yesterday and tomorrow.”
Kody drank in Pa’s words like a drought-stricken land would suck in water. He had always believed. He was tired of denying it. God, You are my God. I have faltered and failed so much. Give me the strength to do as You want, and the wisdom to know what it is.
He squeezed Charlotte’s hand briefly, wanting to share his feelings with her. She smiled, and he knew from the glistening in her eyes she understood this moment was special.
Chapter Sixteen
Charlotte rushed home with her exciting news, hoping Kody would be back from helping Jed Hawkes. She laughed out of sheer joy. Yesterday had been more than she dreamed possible in her prayers. She’d sensed Kody’s doubts disappearing as his father preached, been aware of the change in him even before he turned to her and smiled. She rejoiced when he’d gone to his father after the sermon. They’d spoken quietly, then Leland hugged Kody. Even from where she stood, Charlotte had seen the glisten of tears in Leland’s eyes. Her own vision blurred as Martha joined them, and Kody hugged her. She’d prayed for Kody’s healing and it thrilled her to be able to watch it.
And now news like she’d never expected. God certainly knew how to answer above and beyond her wildest dreams.
She went in the back gate and almost cheered when she saw Kody coming from the corral. She hurried to his side. “I have the best news!”
He quirked an eyebrow. “I can’t even begin to guess what it might be.”
“You wouldn’t in a hundred years!”
“Then maybe you should just tell me.”
She grabbed his hand. “Matron told us today a special doctor is coming to visit.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He can fix bones.”
Kody again quirked an eyebrow. He obviously wasn’t getting how great an opportunity this could be.
She slowed down and spelled it out carefully. “Matron told us how he’s fixed broken arms that weren’t set correctly, how he’s helped people with something wrong with their hips and—” she squeezed his hand hard “—he’s had very good success with fixing clubfeet. He could fix Star.”
Kody jerked back, pulling his hand from her grasp. “Are you joking?”
“No.” Why wasn’t he excited about this possibility?
“Then let me point out a few facts. For starters she’s an Indian and won’t be allowed to see the doctor. Besides, the doctor told John her foot couldn’t be fixed.”
“This doctor is fixing them.”
He stared at her like he’d never seen her before. “White children, maybe.”
“A clubfoot is the same whatever the color of your skin.”
“Except the color of your skin makes people treat you differently.”
She jutted out her chin. “Not everyone. Do I treat you differently? Do your parents? Bess and Jed? And probably hundreds of others if you care to pay attention.”
“You expect Star to understand that?”
She couldn’t believe his resistance. “Kody, she deserves a chance. You know those shoes aren’t working.”
He took off the saddle and pushed past her to carry it to the garage.
She followed. He had to see that Star needed this. “Couldn’t you at least take her to this doctor and get his opinion?”
He draped his saddle over the stand before he answered. “I have no intention of giving people a chance to tell me to take her back to the reservation where she belongs.”
Anger erupted from Charlotte’s brain, erasing caution, fueling her words with fire. “Kody Douglas, you know something? This isn’t about Star and her facing negative comments—”
“Prejudice.”
“I don’t care what you call it, because I realize something. This isn’t about her. This is about you. You don’t want to face those unkind, untrue remarks. You’d sooner run. How far do you think you’ll have to run to outrun yourself? Canada won’t be far enough. Alaska wouldn’t be. Isn’t it time you stopped running and faced li
fe? Your life?” She stomped away, not caring if she’d offended him. Partway out the door, she paused. “You know, Kody, I almost thought I loved you.” Her anger shifted so suddenly to pain she cried out. She loved him whether or not he would ever accept it.
She ran to her room and threw herself on her bed.
He talked about being strong, expecting her to be so, yet he ran from his own problems.
She breathed slowly, calming her anger, letting her pain dissipate. Then she turned to prayer. God, I know You’ve sent this doctor. Please make Kody see how it could be the best thing for Star. She deserves this chance. Please, let Kody love me as I love him.
She remained there for a few minutes, then hurried downstairs determined to find a way to convince Kody to change his mind.
The look he gave her as he sat down to supper warned her he would hear nothing more on the subject. She ducked her head. She would find a way to say more.
However, he made it impossible to talk to him that night. He played checkers with Leland, then held a skein of yarn as Martha rolled it into a ball.
Charlotte sent him pleading looks and sighed heavily.
Martha looked up. “Is there something wrong, dear?”
“No, I’m fine.” She crossed to the window. “It looks so lovely out. It’d be nice to go for a walk.”
“Go right ahead,” Martha said kindly, unaware of the tension between Charlotte and Kody. “I’m almost done here. Kody, why don’t you go with her?”
Kody yawned loudly. “I’m tired, Ma. I think I’ll go to bed early.”
“Another time, then?” Charlotte knew he understood the warning in her voice, but he only gave her a dark look that said he would not give her another chance to mention this subject.
She sent him an equally hard look, silently informing him she wasn’t prepared to give up. She didn’t know how she’d convince him, but she would do so if humanly possible.
But next morning she still hadn’t come up with a way to do so, let alone how to get the chance. He wasn’t at breakfast. Her heart stopped working when she saw his empty place. Had he gone to Canada without saying goodbye?