“I wouldn’t know, Beilzen,” Pentanimir said. “I’ve never forced myself on anyone nor do I want to.”
“Isn’t your servant pregnant?” Nakaris asked.
“She is,” Pentanimir said, glad to see his brother approaching. “Ah, Dani, is everything ready?”
“It is.”
“Good, then let’s finish our duty and return to our homes.”
The men packed their supplies, snuffing out the fire. Danimore never took his eyes from Beilzen, replaying his comments in his mind while gauging their intent. If you wanted to elicit an impassioned response to report back to my uncle, you’ll have to try harder than that, he thought, mounting his horse. After Pentanimir came to his side, he gave the order, and the men continued to their assigned locations.
“Be still, Dani. We knew when Uncle selected Beilzen for this assignment what to expect. It wasn’t long ago that we regarded Beilzen as a friend. Not so anymore. His eagerness for a better position clouds his mind and impedes his judgement. Uncle is determined to control every aspect of our lives, Zeta is only part of it.”
“Uncle’s actions have become intolerable, especially as they pertain to Zeta. He never met her until I brought her home. Why in seven hells does he care?”
“I doubt that he even knows. It’s one aspect of our lives that he couldn’t control, that alone could be the reason. He claims it’s merely due to her status and the men who used her in the citadel. He doesn’t think she’s a proper attendant for one pledged to the Zaxson’s daughter.”
“Why would you mention that? It’s not her fault what they did to her. If anyone should feel shame, it’s them, all of them.”
“Dani, your words are true, yet they hold no meaning. Zeta has worth to us, but not to them. It’s easier to assign disparaging labels that disassociate her from what they proclaim to be. If they looked at her as we do, they’d have to admit the truth: we are all the same. But they use their contrived differences to incite malignancy and justify their wrongs. This isn’t something that we can change, Dani. It’s just the way of things.”
“Because it is doesn’t mean that it’ll always be,” Danimore said. “We’re not alone in our beliefs.”
“No, we’re not, but it’s too dangerous to speak out so.”
“If Nazil won’t change, I will. I’ll find a way to free both Zeta and me from our captivity. The weight of it’s crushing me.”
Pentanimir sighed, noticing his brother’s anguished visage. “Dani, there’s a lot that I need to tell you. Some of it, you won’t want to hear, but I can’t keep it from you anymore. You also need to know why I left Nazil. If you truly want to help Zeta, I know of someplace that you could go.”
“Zeta?”
“Yes, I’ll tell you more when we’re further in the wood. Too many things are happening and I fear for her and her child.”
“I thought that Draizeyn spoke favorably on the matter. They’re not safe?”
“Uncle wasn’t pleased with the decision. With him and the crows on the council bending his ear, I fear that it won’t remain so.”
“Again, Uncle interferes? Why can’t he leave us to our lives?”
“This is what he’s always wanted. He’s no longer in Father’s shadow, and he’ll exert his authority as long as he draws breath.”
“Mayhaps he’s drawn it long enough.”
Pentanimir halted, turning to face him. “Don’t ever speak so, Dani, not even in jest. If anyone overheard you, you’d be branded a traitor and tortured until death.”
“Forgive me. I mustn’t allow my frustration to rule me. Regardless of anything else, he’s Father’s brother.”
“Just keep your peace a while longer, and I’ll help you attain what you seek.”
“Again, you speak in riddles. Speak plainly.”
Pentanimir glanced around again, putting his heels into his mount. “Come, Brother. We’ll talk more soon.”
They rode a while longer, planting stakes to mark their path. Pentanimir veered away from his usual route, staying alert for any sign of the villagers. It wasn’t until they reached the farthest point where the brush became the thickest did he dismount, resting on a toppled tree.
“Join me,” Pentanimir said. “Did you notice the path that we took?”
Danimore’s brow creased. “Yes. The trees appeared much the same. Now, they change, and the brush grows thicker.”
“Good. It’s important that you commit it to memory. The trees we passed will remain the same throughout the cold season. Their leaves are unchanging and will be simple to recall. Also, we veered to pass over the third hill. This is of great importance.”
“Why?”
“Dani, are you certain that you’d leave Nazil to protect Zeta?”
“I’ve never been more certain about anything or anyone. I’m in love with her, Pentanimir. If there’s a way to keep her safe, I’ll do it.”
“There is a way that I’ve known about for some time. There’s a village where humans and Nazilians live together…freely. They’ve wed and have children, too. They’re beautiful, Brother, beautiful children who resemble both parents.”
“Do you mock me, Pentanimir? If there was such a place, Draizeyn would’ve destroyed it long ago.”
“He would if he knew of its existence.”
“Where is this place? Where would I need to go?”
“I’ll tell you more when it’s time to leave. For now, remember our path. It’ll be integral to you finding the village, and them finding you.”
“But this doesn’t explain why you left Nazil.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Pentanimir said, taking a deep breath. “Remember when I returned and you thought that I was angry about my pledge?”
“Yes.”
“I was angry at myself and what I allowed. I didn’t want to face my pledge while my heart belongs to another. It wasn’t my intent to fall in love, but I am, and knowing that it can never be is a pain that no man should suffer.”
“Who, Brother, who do you love?”
“Her name is Brahanu. When I say that I understand your situation with Zeta, I’m speaking true.”
“But how could you—” Danimore paused as a flicker of understanding reached him. “She’s human? Is that it? The one you love is human?”
Pentanimir nodded. “She’s the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen. Her eyes, it was her eyes that drew me. They are dark as the night, only one thousand times more beautiful. If you could love upon first seeing, that’s what I did, and my love grows stronger each day.”
“Why haven’t you told me this before?”
“I wouldn’t plague you with my dishonor. If not for Zeta, I couldn’t tell you now.”
“There’s no dishonor in sharing your heart,” Danimore said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Does she live in this village?”
“No, she lives far from there. When I left Nazil, she was awaiting me. I led her to the village to keep her safe. We didn’t intend to fall in love or to become one. It was like we were drawn to each other, and I could only feel whole when I was a part of her.” He closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. “I have more to tell you.”
“Tell me of it and remove some of the weight from your mind.”
Pentanimir sighed. “Brahanu lives near Dovak in Cazaal. When we made love, she had never…she was maiden.”
“She gave herself, willingly?”
“I wouldn’t force myself on her,” Pentanimir said, with irritation. “She was maiden, and now, she carries my child.”
“What! She’s with child? Your child?”
“Yes. Now do you understand why I don’t want to marry Denotra? Had it been anyone else in Nazil, I wouldn’t honor the pledge. It’s Brahanu that I want to marry and build a life with. She’s having my child and a part of me dies each day that I can’t be near her.”
“I’m sorry, Pentanimir, I didn’t know. Can’t you send a message or…or find someway to see her? When your child comes, it could
resemble you. What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know anything right now,” he said, roughly rubbing his face. “Brahanu promised to meet me in the village, but I hope I can see her sooner.”
Pentanimir clenched his eyes, and then met his brother’s. “I need to tell you something else. I spoke to you about ghosts; ghosts of the past. I’ve kept this from you out of love, but Uncle recently said something that alerted me that he knew of Father’s betrayal.”
“Father? What betrayal?”
Pentanimir smiled wistfully. “We’re like our father in many ways, Dani. Something happened when we were young, something that haunts my dreams. The man’s name is Crissu, though the guards called him a savage.”
“Crissu? I don’t know anyone by that name.”
“You wouldn’t. Crissu was our brother.”
“Brother?” Danimore leapt to his feet. “What are you talking about?”
“Sit, Dani, the memory is pain enough.”
“Pentanimir, how? Why wouldn’t they tell us about our brother?”
“Mother mightn’t have known about him.”
Danimore’s mouth gaped. “He was a bastard? But who? How?”
“Father never told me. If I hadn’t been there to witness his death, I wouldn’t have known about him.”
“Pentanimir, speak plain. My head swims at your words.”
“Crissu was only half-Nazilian, Dani. Do you understand now? His mother was human.”
“The hell you say! No, that can’t be. Father wouldn’t…he couldn’t…no. Father led the battle in Hyorin. He might’ve regretted it, but he still led the guard. He didn’t hate the humans, but he wouldn’t have a bastard son. No.”
“We place Father above those in Nazil, but he wasn’t a god. He was wonderful to us, Dani, and held an honored position. But his son, our brother, died by his hand. That image will forever haunt my dreams. He said AvHotther, and called to our father, his father, and he killed him for it. Crissu fell to the ground and looked into my eyes. He…he…died with the word brother on his lips.”
“What? No. AvHotther? What’s that to mean?”
“I’ve learned that it means, ‘father’ in the arcane Mehlonii language. Our father.”
“This is too much. I can’t believe Father would kill his son. And—and—half-human? Why? Please tell me this is a bad jest.”
“I’ve prayed for the same since that day. Father might’ve loved this woman as we love Brahanu and Zeta. Having his son come to Nazil—” he sighed again, shaking his head. “He would’ve been tortured and killed if anyone knew.”
“So, instead, he murders his son? It makes no sense.”
“It never has, but that’s the truth. You wanted to share what haunts my dreams. Now, we’ll suffer it together.”
“What’re we going to do, Pentanimir? What if this woman had another child?”
“That’s a truth that died with our father. We need to continue with our plan,” he said, checking their surroundings. “Firstly, we’ll finish our duty. I’ll position the stake and return the way we came. You travel south until you hear the Raphar. Then turn eastward until you reach the stones.”
“Will you tell me more about all of this when we return to Nazil?”
“Yes. There’s more you’ll need to know. However, of Father, I have no more to tell. Just know that we had a brother, and remember his name. Crissu was no savage. He was our blood.”
Men of Nazil
Hosdaq rushed to Wosen’s room, wrenching the door open with such force it banged loudly against the wall. Wosen jerked, his eyes widening, meeting his father’s. He’d donned Hosdaq’s hauberk and plackart with the rest of his armor sticking up from a haversack as he clutched his Xtabyren.
“What is this?” Hosdaq demanded. “Why have you removed my armor and sword from the chest?”
“They needed care.”
“Care? What do you know about caring for such armaments? These are rare and honored tools of war. They’re not to be used as toys.”
Hosdaq reached out, snatching his Xtabyren away. “Take all of this off immediately, and put it back in my chest. These are earned through honor and duty,” he said, holding his Xtabyren aloft. “You can’t claim them without proving yourself worthy to wield them.”
“How can I prove anything when you won’t allow it? You’ve trapped me here away from our home and honor. Why am I forced here with humans when our people are the rulers of Faélondul?”
“I tire of this foolishness, Wosen. You’re human, too, or have you forgotten about your mother?”
“I could never forget your wife. All anyone here does is remind me about Esme and how wonderful she was.” His eyes rolled. “You talk about her as if she was one of the gods, Father, but she was human, and beneath our people.”
Hosdaq’s hand was a blur, landing a blow that sent Wosen stumbling sideward.
“How dare you speak about your mother that way! She loved you more than herself! When she learned that she was pregnant with you, she was the happiest she’d ever been. You don’t know what she suffered, what we both suffered to be together and have this family. Now you dare speak about her as nothing? Not while I draw breath will that be. My son or no, you’ll never defile her memory again.”
“How dare me? How dare you. You’re the one who always talked about Nazil’s greatness and the honor of the Chosen Guard. You dangled it in front of me all of my life just to snatch it away from me now. Why! Why should I be satisfied here when the life I want is there? Why must I be satisfied with being human? You’re my father, and you’re not human. When Malkia speaks about home, you tell her that she might see it one day. Is it because she looks Nazilian and I don’t? Is it?” Wosen’s voice rose in pitch, his eyes welling with tears.
“I’m sorry, Wosen, all right. I’ve already told you the why of it. Mayhaps I shouldn’t have shared such stories with you, but I wanted you to be proud of all of your heritage. Within the white city, there have always been honorable men, but the leaders corrupt all that we are. True honor should’ve prevented the atrocities of the past, and those yet being committed. It was that same honor that caused me to aid the people in Hyorin, not destroy them. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Oh, I understand. You don’t want me to have the same honor bestowed upon you.”
Hosdaq grunted in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “Why won’t you listen? If the honor could be bestowed, you’d have already received it. You’re half-Nazilian—half. Only your eyes are like mine, and that alone would be offensive to those that you worship. As soon as you approached the gates, they’d throw you in irons. If allowed to live, you’d be slave to those who think of you as an abomination and an insult to their purity. You have the best of both your mother and me. Why isn’t that good enough for you? Why can’t you find pride in being both human and Nazilian?”
“Pride,” he scoffed. “There’s no pride to be had living amongst cowards. At the first whisper of war, they plan to run instead of preparing an attack. I want to be a Chosen, like you were, and Pentanimir is. That’s where true honor lies. I want to plan the attack, not run from it. I’m Nazilian, not some mewling caitiff!”
“There aren’t any cowards here. Cowards couldn’t have built and maintained everything that we have in Bandari. Here, we are one. There’s no need for fabricated titles or the subjugation of others to elevate ourselves. We are equal, as it should be. The cowards are the Nazilian soldiers who destroyed Hyorin, steal and rape children, and enslave the populace. There’s no honor in that.”
“They attacked the enemy! It makes no difference the age or gender. They posed a threat to Nazil and had to be destroyed.”
“What the hell are you saying?” Hosdaq’s astonishment was beyond words. His mouth gaped, staring into Wosen’s hate-filled eyes. “What madness is this? Surely, this isn’t how you feel. How could you have been raised in this village yet speak like you’re in service to the Zaxson?”
�
��I’d rather serve our Zaxson than to allow another sun to rise with me living with these caitiffs,” Wosen shouted, turning away from him.
“How dare you show your back to me!” Hosdaq gripped his arm, spinning him back around. His Xtabyren clanged to the floor as Wosen struggled against his tight hold. “You talk like a damned fool! The Zaxson you worship would have you tortured and enslaved! The guards you want to join would take turns raping and beating you. That’s what awaits you in Nazil!”
“Liar,” Wosen screamed, fighting to break free. “You’re just trying to keep me away because you can’t ever return. You’re the one who’d be tortured for your treachery and desertion. You! That’s what you truly fear. If they learn about me, they’ll come for you. You’re a liar and a traitor to our people. You won’t keep me from my honor!”
“Take these things off. You won’t wear them in my presence. Remove them now, Wosen,” Hosdaq said, grabbing the plackart and jerking it away. Wosen lurched sideward, unable to keep his footing. When he crashed to the floor, Hosdaq reached down to him.
“Get away from me coward,” Wosen shouted, clutching the Xtabyren and slashing wildly. “You’re a damn traitor! Get away from me!”
Hosdaq’s eyes widened, his hands grasping his abdomen. He glanced over at his son and then back down to the blood gushing from his wounds.
“Wo—Wosen,” he breathed, stumbling back woozily. “Why? I—I love you. Why?” His breathing was labored as he tried to turn, staggering toward the door.
Wosen’s chest heaved, leaping up to his feet. Flipping the Xtabyren in his hand, he raised it high, landing a hard blow to the back of Hosdaq’s head. His eyes clenched as the subsequent spray of blood covered his face.
“You love only yourself,” Wosen said, kicking the still body sprawled out on the floor. He wiped the blood from his face, frantically looking around his room. Grabbing up his haversack, he quickly finished packing and ran from his home.
“Wosen,” Hibret called to him. “My aunt and I made some sweets. I was coming to bring you some.” She hesitated, noticing his demeanor. “Wosen? Are you all right?” Hibret asked, taking a step back. He didn’t respond, never ceasing his rapid run. Wosen collided with her, continuing to the stable.
The Rise of Nazil Page 32