The flood of emotion and dubiety paralyzed her. Brahanu wiggled her fingers again, causing ripples to appear upon the surface. The more her fingers moved, the more the blood tainted the clear water, causing it to appear tenebrous. Just as her life had become.
When Mena entered the chamber, rolling in the large caldron, Brahanu pulled her hand from the basin, binding it with cloth. She didn’t speak, only watching her fill the tub. When Mena returned with the second caldron, Brahanu thanked her, and then slid beneath the water. The wound on her hand throbbed, but the wound in her heart pained her even more.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Mena asked.
“No, Mena. Please, continue your duties. The bath is what I need now. Thank you.”
“Yes’m, milady.”
Mena was already in the kitchen when Itai entered through the rear door. He rushed into the room to see her sweeping up the glass.
“Oh, hello Mena. I—I thought you were at the market.”
“Yes’m, Sir, I got the packages there. Lady Gael was cleanin’ the floor when I came.”
“Where’s she now?”
“She’s in the bath.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. Itai couldn’t believe his anger or reaction when hearing Pentanimir’s name. He hadn’t intended to hurt Brahanu, but his actions surely did. It was the ghost that caused his rage, but Brahanu suffered from his outburst. He sighed, walking down to their room. When he reached for the handle, he stopped short, knocking instead.
“I don’t need anything, Mena,” Brahanu said, weakly.
“It’s not Mena, Brahanu, it’s your husband.”
Itai closed the door, slowly approaching the tub. He fumbled with his hands, searching for what to say. He could offer no feasible excuse for his actions, and that was disheartening. As he stepped on the platform, he saw the blood seeping through her bandage.
“Brahanu, what happened?”
She slid her hand beneath the water, not responding. Her mind was a muddle with thoughts of Pentanimir, and disappointment in herself and Itai. She needed her husband, needed his strength and his love. She felt hollow, and ached from the loneliness that it caused.
Brahanu loved Itai; always she loved him, and only that love could keep her from Pentanimir. But now, what was she to do? How could she meet him again without her husband at her side? Pentanimir: the one man who caused her to lose herself. She loved him, all of him, and that love scared her. It was irrational, and she wasn’t rational when he was near. She understood Itai’s anger, knowing that she was the cause, but she was angry, too. Brahanu was angry with herself for the person that she became when Pentanimir was near.
Brahanu, why aren’t you answering me? Your hand, what happened to your hand?”
“I’m all right, Itai, you needn’t worry. I’ve angered you again, and I never want to do so. Please leave me to my thoughts.”
“Forgive me,” he said, kneeling next to the tub. “It wasn’t you, Brahanu, it was him. He’s intruding on our lives and our happiness.”
Brahanu’s red, swollen eyes found his for a moment and then she turned away. “He isn’t intruding on our happiness. Pentanimir has done nothing, Itai.”
“Nothing?” he said, leaping to his feet. “Didn’t you give yourself to the man, freely?”
Brahanu rose so abruptly that water splashed on the floor, causing Itai to fall back a step. “I thought you promised that we wouldn’t talk about that? Why are you throwing it at my feet? Why?” she said angrily, and then clutched her abdomen, fighting the sharp pain cascading through her.
“Brahanu,” Itai said, reaching out to steady her. She swatted his hand away, stepping out of the tub.
“I’m fine,” she struggled to say.
“No, you’re not. I’m going to get Briac.”
“No, you won’t. I’ll not allow Briac to see me like this.”
“Forgive me, Brahanu. It wasn’t meant toward you. I did promise not to speak about it again, and I’m sorry. He caused this, it’s him.”
“No, Itai. Pentanimir didn’t smash glass against our walls. You need to accept what you’ve done just as I have to. I understand why you’re upset, but I can’t do anything to change what’s already passed. I’m your wife Itai, yours. You accepted me as your wife despite my transgressions, and I’ve loved you more with each rise of the sun.
“I don’t want to go, don’t you understand that? I have to because of my father’s position. I didn’t ever want to see Pentanimir again. I have you and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” She drew him down to her, gently kissing his lips. “I won’t make you suffer this. I’ll face this alone, as it should be. It’s too much for you, and I recognize that. Now, please allow me to dress so that I can honor my father’s wishes and greet the new Caretaker of Spero.”
Itai’s visage was a mix of anguish, trepidation, and regret. He wanted to respond, to offer anything that could explain how he felt, but he couldn’t. The words rang hollow in his mind, just as they would if he’d spoken them aloud. He left their room, going to prepare the cart.
When Itai returned, Mena was helping Brahanu dress. He watched her braiding Brahanu’s long, coiled hair, pulling it partially off her face with a silken ribbon. He smiled, admiring the beautiful violet dress with a lilac underskirt, and the glittering jewels adorning the collar.
“There, milady. You look strikin’,” Mena said. “Would you like more scented oil?”
“No, thank you, Mena. I don’t want to smell like a garden.” The two laughed as she stood, noticing Itai near the door.
“Mena’s preparing your meal,” Brahanu said. “I won’t be returning until the morrow. My parents wouldn’t want me traveling alone at such an hour.”
Sensing the tension between them, Mena curtsied, leaving them alone.
“Brahanu, you can’t mean to go without me.”
“I don’t have a choice, and I’m respecting your wishes. Don’t you recall your contemptuous refusal? I’ll not force this upon you, but I must attend.”
“I did speak the words, but I didn’t mean them. I’ll do whatever is needed of me, truly. Those were the words of a jealous husband, nothing more. Can’t you understand? I love you, Brahanu, I’m in love with you. I don’t want to see this—this ghost. But for you, I’ll try to endure it.”
“I love you, too, and more than you could ever know,” she said, kissing his lips. “That love is why I’m attending alone. There’s no place at my parents’ table for a jealous husband. My father stressed the importance of this visit. If you met the First Chosen, I don’t know what you might do. I love you, Itai, and understand and respect your feelings. This night, your place is here in our home, not the citadel. Please, not while the Caretaker visits and raises an ire in you that you can’t control.”
The words stung, but he couldn’t argue. He attempted to speak, to convince her of his willingness to acquiesce to Hacom’s wishes, but the words hung in his throat as if something tangible was lodged there.
She kissed him again. “Good night, Itai, I love you,” she said, leaving the chamber.
“Did you hear the tolls, milady?” Mena asked as she approached.
“How many tolls sounded?”
“Two tolls rang from the temple. An important guest has arrived in Cazaal.”
“Yes, I’m going to greet him now. Has the cart been prepared?”
“Yes’m, milady. It waits out front.”
“Thank you.”
The sun had nearly set when Brahanu started for her parents’ home. She barely noticed the people she passed, her mind obfuscated with thoughts of Pentanimir. She hated herself for loving him, and dreaded what was to come. However, she couldn’t deny that she’d wanted to see him again, but not now. She was conflicted and needed Itai at her side. For a moment, she thought to return home and beg him to come, but she didn’t want to put him through it. She needed Itai. If Pentanimir could only witness their happiness, perhaps he’d leave Cazaal and not return.
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“Lady Gael, may I help ya down?”
Brahanu gasped, seeing Katar’s outstretched hand. She didn’t realize that she’d been sitting outside the citadel for some time. She turned, acknowledging the guards who’d raised the gate. She hadn’t truly noticed them either.
“Oh, yes, thank you, Katar. Has everyone arrived?”
“If you mean the Nazilian, yes.”
Brahanu ignored the inflection in his tone. “How many carriages?”
“Odd thing, really. They usually fill the streets with them fancy carriages and blarin’ horns. Not this one. He came with a few guards and they’ve headed off already.” Katar’s brow furrowed, glancing around. “Ain’t Itai with ya?”
“No, he wasn’t feeling well.”
He nodded, leading the cart away.
Brahanu’s heart thumped as she stepped forward, fumbling with her hair. Once she entered the citadel, she waved the attendants away, not wanting them to announce her. She needed more time, just a moment to steady herself and clear her thoughts. She could hear her father’s unsteady voice down the hall, and took a deep breath. Her feet felt weighted as she advanced on the open door.
Standing beneath the lintel, what she saw astounded her. She rested a hand on the wall, a weakness causing her knees to almost buckle. Pentanimir was seated opposite her father, his handsome features outlined by the warming flares from the hearth. His pale eyes sparkled, and she couldn’t prevent the rush of emotion from surging through every part of her.
“Lady Brahanu,” Pentanimir said, standing and offering a bow. “I’m pleased to find you well.”
His loose hair shimmered as he rose from his bow. Brahanu admired how his lips moved, relishing the sound of her name upon them. He’d donned the pearl and gold dress uniform, the tailored garb accentuating his lean, muscular frame. Gods, he’s handsome. Help me resist, please help me, Brahanu pleaded, observing his fluid movements. She gazed at him from toe to head, recalling every inch of his perfect nakedness. His large, pale eyes looked at her with passion, a passion only Brahanu and Pentanimir could understand.
“Brahanu,” Amani said, breaking her trance. “The First Chosen addressed you.”
“Yes. Forgive me. It’s been some time since I’ve seen Sir Benoist…the First Chosen…Pentanimir,” she stammered, still catching her breath. “I’m pleased to see you as well. Welcome to Cazaal.”
When she raised up her hand, he noticed the bandage and hurried across the room.
“Brahanu, your hand,” he said, tenderly caressing it. His eyes said much more than he could speak, and hers responded in kind.
“It’s merely a scratch.”
“Why is it that every time I see you, you’re in need of aid, my Lady?” Pentanimir smiled, still holding her hand. For a moment, they were alone in the room, in the village, in all the lands. It was just them, and the love that they shared.
Hacom and Amani exchanged nervous glances, discerning their obvious closeness.
“Sir…Sir Benoist, Almaz will tend to Brahanu,” Hacom said. “You needn’t trouble yourself, we have much to discuss.” Hacom motioned toward the corridor. “Come, let us enjoy a delicious meal together.”
“It would be my pleasure, Lord Ravenot,” Pentanimir said, extending out his arm to Brahanu, following behind Hacom and Amani.
“Won’t Itai be joining us?” Julaybeim asked.
“Pardons, Brother?” Brahanu offered euphorically.
“Itai. Isn’t he coming?”
“No, he’s supping with Mena.”
Pentanimir recognized the name, but wouldn’t allow that to take away from his time with Brahanu. He fought against his desire, caressing her arm. Their wait had been too long, and he needed to be a part of her.
Her flawless, mahogany skin seemed to glow beneath the flickering lights, and he smiled, seeing the roundness of his son growing inside of her.
As they entered the hall, Hacom stood by their chairs, awaiting Pentanimir to take his seat. He first pulled a chair for Brahanu, and then sat beside her. Hacom did the same for Amani as Julaybeim looked on in disgust.
“You look stunning, Brahanu,” Pentanimir said. “The violet is a compliment, truly.”
“Yes, yes,” Hacom said, uneasily. “She’s always looked beautiful in purples.”
“Thank you,” Brahanu said, still feeling her rapid heartbeat that only increased as Pentanimir covertly rested a hand on her thigh, and squeezed.
Be calm. He’s but one man. Itai is whom you love. Be calm, she tried to tell herself, but the fire of Pentanimir’s touch coursed through her, making everything else fade away.
“So, Sir Benoist—”
“Please, Lord Ravenot, call me Pentanimir. I might be First Chosen of Nazil and the Caretaker of Spero, but my station isn’t any higher than yours. I’ve never been one to demand a title. My service to these lands is enough.”
Hacom’s brow raised. “As you wish. But you must refer to us in the familiar as well. Everyone calls me Hacom, and I’d like for you to do the same.”
Pentanimir nodded, taking a sip of wine as Julaybeim folded his arms across his chest, glaring at him.
“So, Pentanimir, why have you honored us with your presence?” His tone was condescending.
Pentanimir merely smiled. “I wanted to introduce myself to you, young lord. With Spero’s completion, I’ll be visiting all of the surrounding villages and outposts.”
“Where next will you travel?” Amani asked.
“Next, I’ll return to Spero to conduct business there. After which, the Caretaker of Leahcim will receive me.”
“I see,” Julaybeim said. “May I ask why you chose to visit Cazaal before Leahcim?”
Hacom tried to silence his son, but Pentanimir shook his head. “It’s a fair question. It’s obvious that I’m a son of Nazil. So why then would I visit a human village ahead of a Nazilian one? Is that your question, young lord?”
“Indeed, that’s the question,” Julaybeim said.
“Isn’t it evident why I chose Cazaal?”
“Mayhaps you should tell us,” Hacom said. “We wouldn’t want to assume anything.”
“I chose Cazaal because I wanted to meet you. Brahanu spoke about you often and fondly when we traveled. My parents have long passed, and it was pleasing to see Brahanu’s joy when speaking about you.” Pentanimir turned, meeting her eyes. “Brahanu is a delight to me, and quite lovely. I was pleased when the Zaxson assigned me to Spero. It gave me the opportunity to visit without suspicion as to why.”
“Yes, my sister is beautiful. Her husband has always commented the same. Hasn’t he, Brahanu?”
Pentanimir was taken aback. Although his heart ached, he forced the best smile that he could muster, facing Julaybeim.
“Ah, yes, you speak of Itai again. Brahanu spoke about him often. I wanted to meet him as well. Mayhaps when I return it can be so.”
“Return? Why do you need to return?”
“Julaybeim, it’s time for you to take leave.” Hacom shot a look his way. “The Caretaker’s movements aren’t yours to question.”
Julaybeim didn’t protest. He forcefully pushed back from the table, offering a half-bow. “If you’d excuse me,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Please forgive him, Pentanimir. Julaybeim’s young, and very protective of his sisters.”
“I’ve taken no offense, Hacom. He is young, and has the right of it. His sisters are beautiful and in need of his protection. There are many in these lands who’d cause them harm, but I’m not one as they.”
“No, it would seem that you’re quite different,” Amani said. “My daughter told us as much upon her return. If I may, what compelled you to aid our daughter? Please, don’t interpret my question as ingratitude. We thank the gods for you leading her safely from Nazil. But the why of it has yet to be answered.”
“Lady Ravenot, when first I saw your daughter, it was in the midst of a storm. She was lost, wounded, and very beautiful,” Pentanimir said, glanc
ing at her. “I didn’t need a reason to aid her; I was meant to. If the same happened one hundred times more, I wouldn’t change it.”
“Meant to? How do you mean?”
“The explanation is difficult. Those whom I entrusted her to would say that the One god protected and led her to me. I wasn’t supposed to be guarding the gates that night, but I volunteered to do so. There’s a man where I led her who can see things that haven’t yet come. When we arrived, they already knew of our coming. Our meeting was predestined, and I’ve thanked the gods ever since.”
“The One god? In Cazaal, we serve the Seven,” Amani retorted.
“And we, the Four. It doesn’t matter what name that you assign to your gods, what matters is their love, and your expression of that love toward others. For them, it’s only one. The visions bestowed upon the Elder have always come to pass. He saw both Brahanu and me, long before our arrival.”
“He speaks true, Mother. The Elder knew many things of my life that he shouldn’t have known. There was another man there as well, and he spoke to me about Itai.” She smiled. “I’ve never seen anyone like their priest in all of the lands. They took the greatest care of me, and I hope that you’ll meet them soon.”
“Elders?” Hacom said. “I’ve never heard of anyone labeling themselves that way.”
“It’s merely a title,” Pentanimir said. “It’s the one beneath it that’s of importance. You might even know some of them from years past.”
“Mayhaps. I’d be honored to meet the people who cared so for my daughter when they had no cause.”
Pentanimir peered at him curiously. “Cause? Some things we do simply because we must. It only matters that it needs to be done, and those with a right heart will make it so.”
For the first time, Hacom sincerely smiled. Pentanimir wasn’t like any other Nazilians that he’d met.
The rest of their meal was pleasant, and Amani could scarcely believe that she was enjoying his company. It wasn’t until Ameya began to yawn did she stand to excuse herself.
The Rise of Nazil Page 43