“Yes…yes, I’m tired,” Pentanimir said, absently.
Danimore looked at him, noting the distance in his eyes. Pentanimir hadn’t given them a full report on Cazaal, and he didn’t know how or if he should ask about it.
Julaybeim took the opportunity with Brahanu to question her of the same.
“Sister, did Pentanimir mention anything about the battle?”
“Only what he’d told everyone. The battle still raged when he saved Ameya, and I’ll be forever grateful. All we know is that the Nazilians set our village ablaze.”
“That’s the way of caitiffs. They can’t meet us in battle openly. Only through treachery and subterfuge can they gain ground against us.”
“That’s not true of all Nazilians, Julaybeim. Ameya wouldn’t be here with us if it were. I just wish that we knew that Mother, Father, and Itai were well. That plagues my heart most of all.”
“Mother wouldn’t be moved when I asked her to come with us. I pray that the gods protect them and return us safely.”
Brahanu nodded, noticing Pentanimir and Danimore speaking near the carriage. “I wonder what he’s saying to him that we can’t all hear?”
Julaybeim glanced over his shoulder. “I wonder the same.”
“Pentanimir, please, your visage and mood betray you. Please, tell me what happened,” Danimore urged a second time.
Pentanimir met his eyes with silence. The sounds, visions, and smells of the battle erupted through his heart and mind as if he were still standing amidst the turmoil. He had yet to work through the actualities of what took place and what they meant for each of them. Too many faces and debilitating truths: Manifir, Oxilon, Temian, Hushar, Hacom, Amani, Itai. All of them cascaded through his mind, screaming at him, reaching for him, crushing him. Not even the joy of seeing his son could replace the anguish he felt.
“Brother.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “They’ve all fallen.”
“All? What do you mean, Pentanimir? Who’s fallen?”
“Don’t you understand? All of them, Hacom, Amani, Itai, and Uncle. They were all lost in the battle. How am I supposed to tell them? I have no way to offer such news.”
Danimore’s face paled. He gripped Pentanimir in a tight embrace, feeling his body weaken against him.
“I’ve failed them,” Pentanimir said. “I was supposed to protect them, and I failed.”
“No, you didn’t fail,” he said, holding him out at arm’s length. “You warned them, fought with them, and saved Ameya. You couldn’t have done any more, Pentanimir. If not for you, none of us would be safe. This was your purpose. Don’t you recall the words of your Elder? Your son and Brahanu are safe due to your efforts. You’ve protected Itai’s son as well. He died defending his home, his wife, and his village, but you remain. You’ll continue to protect Eytan and raise him to know about his father’s honor and sacrifice.”
Pentanimir shook his head. “If I hadn’t fallen in love with Brahanu, he’d still have his father.”
“That’s not true, Brother. Your grief is too near for you to think clearly. It wasn’t your love that caused his death. That was by Draizeyn’s order alone. Don’t allow your grief to confuse your mind and heart.”
“She did love him, Dani. Brahanu was torn between us, and I took advantage of that. Even as she protested, I wouldn’t remove my lips from hers. In the beginning, she initiated our closeness, but it was me in the end. Now, her husband is gone.” He clenched his eyes, before meeting Danimore’s again. “Both Itai and Hacom died by Uncle’s hand.”
“Oxilon?”
“I witnessed their deaths and could do nothing to prevent them. Then, Amani and Ameya’s screams drew my focus. I’ve never seen such savagery, Dani, never. I thank the gods that Ameya was shielded from it…they raped her mother mercilessly.” He took a deep breath, attempting to keep the quiver from his voice. “I—I killed Amani. I couldn’t save her, but I wouldn’t leave her to their brutalities. She wouldn’t have survived it.”
Danimore blinked back his forming tears, grasping his brother’s arms. Pentanimir had always been the stronger of the two, and now, he needed comfort.
“They would’ve continued to use her until every hole was violated and torn to shreds. Then, they would’ve tortured her slowly, not allowing her death until they had their fill. If she were taken back to Nazil, you know what she had yet to suffer,” Danimore said. “What you did was a kindness, Pentanimir. You knew so then, and must remember that now. You saved her from the cruelties that we know too well.”
“So, I’m like our father…I kill to prevent suffering.”
“Father?”
“Isn’t that what he did to Crissu? To our brother? He killed him quickly so that he couldn’t be tortured. I’d believed that Father murdered his son to protect himself, but I understand differently now. The pain of killing our brother weighed too heavily upon him, Dani. I know, because the weight I feel now is crushing me.”
“You won’t carry it alone. Both of us will shoulder this burden. You can’t tell anyone else about what happened. Brahanu and Julaybeim could never understand like we do. Tell them only about Itai and Hacom’s bravery and honor defending the village. Never speak of Amani. Never. Promise me, Pentanimir.”
He nodded. “You have the right of it.”
“Go to her now, Brother. You need Brahanu and your son. Try to focus on the love that surrounds you, and leave the other far behind,” Danimore said, embracing him again before walking back toward the fire. After several sobering breaths, Pentanimir returned to Brahanu’s side.
“Gali sits alone, Julaybeim,” Pentanimir said, sitting on the ground. “She’d like your company?”
Julaybeim peered at him curiously and then back to his sister. When she nodded, he laid Eytan in his basket and stood. “I’ll leave you to your words then.”
After he left, Pentanimir slid closer to Brahanu, hesitantly draping an arm around her. When he leaned to caress his son, her unexpected kiss caused him to jerk away.
“Pentanimir, what’s wrong?”
“For—forgive me, the—the battle is still fresh in my mind, and I’m thinking about those yet defending the village.”
She tucked Tardison in his basket, turning back to face Pentanimir. “Are you going to tell me about it?”
“In time. I’d rather speak about you and our son. There isn’t any way to conceal his parentage, Brahanu. What are we going to do?”
“I’ve been discussing the same with Julaybeim. When I return to Cazaal, I’m going to leave Tardison with you.”
“You mean to return?”
“I must, Pentanimir. My life has always been in Cazaal. Itai will want to see Eytan as soon as possible, as will my family. I know that it can’t be soon, but once the lands are safe, I’ll return to my husband.”
His heart ached, not only due to her words, but more so for the truths she had yet to learn. “What about Tardison? He’s also your son.”
“Yes, and yours. It won’t be easy to leave him, but he’ll be with his father and family. I know that Zeta and Gali will take the greatest care of him. Itai allowed me to come to the wood for safety, not to stay. Once this war is at an end, I must return to him.”
“Am I to be without you always? I love you, Brahanu, and our son. Has your love for me withered?”
“My love for you is endless, but it can’t supersede that of my husband. Without his love, the entire village would’ve known about my shame. I love him, Pentanimir, and more than before. This doesn’t erase my love for you, but it must come first.”
When he attempted to respond, she shook her head, caressing his face. “The love and passion that I feel for you will forever remain. When I come to see Tardison, I’m coming to see you, too. Firstly, I must return to Cazaal and my husband.”
The more she spoke, the more he understood the importance of revealing the truth. He met her eyes, desperately attempting to keep the anguish from his. When he leaned down, he kissed her passionately
, allowing her love to fill the emptiness pervading his soul. For this moment, one moment, he needed to submerse himself in that love. If only this moment could last…but it couldn’t, and despondency and heartache would replace that which he now felt.
As he moved away, his face betrayed his thoughts.
“Pentanimir, what’s wrong?”
“Know that I love you, Brahanu, I am in love with you. No matter what I next say, know that I love you more than any man could love a woman.”
Without permitting her time to respond, he stood, walking away.
“We’re nearly ready, Brother,” Danimore said as he approached. “Are you certain that you can manage the second carriage?”
“Yes, but first, I need to tell them about Cazaal.”
“What? Now?”
“They have the right to know, Dani. Waiting until we’re deeper in the wood won’t lessen their pain. Where’s Ameya?”
“She’s still asleep,” Zeta said, coming to their side.
“Good, she doesn’t need to hear this.”
Pentanimir gathered everyone together, returning to Brahanu. “You’ve questioned me regarding the battle, and there’s much to tell. When my contingent arrived, the battle had already begun. They’d taken the temple and—and—the Nohek, those that remained, were killed.”
“Gods,” Gali said. “All of them?”
“There were but a few who remained in the temple. I fought my way through the village, searching for Itai and Hacom. Once I reached them, they were surrounded by men of the guard. I fought my way through, killing all in my path. Guards of Nazil that I trained with for years lay dead at my feet, but it wasn’t enough.”
Brahanu wiped away her tears, straining to sit up. “What’s that to mean, Pentanimir, what happened?”
“I—I was too late. There was a fusillade of arrows loosed in their direction. Hacom barely escaped being hit.”
“Father?” Julaybeim said.
Pentanimir nodded, never raising his eyes. “We…we fought together, the three of us. But the…the arrow pierced Itai’s thigh, and I couldn’t, he couldn’t— ”
“No, Pentanimir,” Brahanu pleaded. “He’s all right. My husband is all right. Tell me that he is, please, tell me.”
He shook his head. “The arrows used in battle are dipped in poison: the serpent’s venom. It paralyzes your enemy, allowing time for you to strike.”
“What honor is there in using such poison!” Julaybeim spat.
“There’s no honor, young lord, not in war. There’s only advantage.”
“What happened to my husband,” Brahanu demanded. “Where’s Itai?”
“He fought bravely, but the poison incapacitated him. Even with my sword and Hacom’s, we couldn’t protect him.”
“No, no!” Brahanu screamed. “It can’t be! Please, not Itai, not my husband, please. No, Pentanimir, tell me that you saved my husband as you did my sister!”
Pentanimir wanted to comfort her, to hold her against him and relieve the pain that she felt. But his arms couldn’t soothe such an ache when it was by his people’s hands that it came to pass. He could only watch as Julaybeim enfolded her into his arms as she mourned for her husband.
He turned, struggling against the debilitating emotions welling inside of him. As Pentanimir lumbered toward the carriage, he fought to compose himself. It wasn’t merely grief that plagued him, but anger as well.
“Brother,” Danimore said, rushing up from behind. “It isn’t your fault; you know that. You didn’t kill any of them. You tried to protect them.”
“Did you see her anguish, Dani, the scorn? It—it exuded from her like a tangible thing. Her heart will never heal, and it was Nazilians who caused such pain. I couldn’t save them, and she’ll forever blame me. She only knows about Itai. When she learns of her parents, what blame will be thrust at my feet?”
“Just because the blame is placed there, doesn’t mean you have to take it from the ground and bear its weight. Leave it where it rests and walk away. It isn’t yours to carry.”
Pentanimir shook his head, wiping the tears lining his eyes. “You must think me weak. It’s just too much, Dani. I can’t bear the weight of everything thrust upon my shoulders.”
“No. I’ve never thought that about you, but I did of myself not long ago. Your words freed me from such misconceptions. You are in love with Brahanu, and her pain causes the same for you. Instead of celebrating the birth of your son, you must mourn the death of her family.” Danimore moved closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Weak? No, Brother. If you had no emotion regarding this war and the deaths wrought from it, you’d be guilty of being the monsters that we’re accused of. This isn’t either of us, and you can’t allow Draizeyn’s cruelties to plague your heart and mind.”
As he finished, Julaybeim rushed up from behind them, seizing Pentanimir’s shoulder, and spinning him around. Danimore looked on in disbelief as Gali ran to their side.
“Tell me true, First Chosen, did Itai die by your hand?”
“You think me capable of such an act, Julaybeim?”
“I know that you’ve been lusting after my sister. You couldn’t have her while her husband lived. Now that he’s fallen, you could ravage her again just as you did when you forced your seed in her womb.”
“Julaybeim, please, don’t do this,” Gali said, stepping between them. “Pentanimir would never do anything like that. Don’t allow your grief to betray you.”
“He’ll answer my question or I’ll force it out of him,” he said, pointing. “Look at my sister. Her husband is dead. If the ghost standing in front of me is responsible, I’d have it known. There’s one man of Cazaal still within his reach.”
Pentanimir’s gaze fell on Brahanu, weeping in Zeta’s arms. “This is what you think of me?” Pentanimir asked, turning full to face him. “You believe I’d wound Brahanu so terribly to satisfy my desire? You think I could murder her husband?”
“I didn’t assign blame to you, I asked if Itai died by your hand, and you’ll answer my question.”
Danimore stepped forward, his eyes narrowing pejoratively. “You dare to insult my brother,” he snapped. “He risked everything to save your family and your village, and this is how you come to him? If not for Pentanimir, Ameya would be a captive in Nazil and Brahanu would’ve never returned to Cazaal at all. It’s by his hand that they yet draw breath! He’s why we all live.”
Pentanimir’s face was an emotionless mask as he raised a hand to Danimore, advancing on Julaybeim. “The young lord posed a question, Brother, and I’ll answer it.” His icy tone and stare caused Julaybeim to take a step back.
“If it’s truth that you want, then you’ll have it. I didn’t kill Itai, I protected him. Both your father and I killed my Nazilian brothers to aid Brahanu’s husband. Itai couldn’t stand or see, and we stood at his side, killing anyone who came near. It wasn’t enough.
“More guards approached from the wood, and I nearly succumbed defending him. As I slew the last, a guard put a sword through Itai’s throat. I killed that guard, too. When Ameya screamed, I saw the men taking her. She would’ve been raped repeatedly and taken as a slave.
“As Itai lay dying, I promised that I’d protect his son and his wife, and I’ll hold true to that promise, even if I need to go through you to do so,” Pentanimir said, taking another step forward. “In defense of your home, I beheaded my uncle as he bore down upon your father. My father’s brother lay dead at my feet, yet you stand here very much alive. That, too, could change if you force a conflict where none should be. I’ll suffer your invectives no longer.
“I couldn’t save Itai, though I wish it otherwise. I could save your sister, and that’s why she sleeps safely in my carriage. Now, take your truth, and leave my sight,” Pentanimir said, turning away.
“What about my parents?”
Pentanimir walked away, not looking back. “Only the gods know.”
Aftermath
Daracus moaned, clenching his eye
s shut as the waves of his gratification escalated. His time away from Nazil only increased his yearning and the intensity of his completion. His body jerked, enjoying the lingering sensation and the warmth of his love. As the pleasure eased, he leaned down, kissing every inch of exposed skin while easing himself away. He merely stared for a moment, overcome by surging emotion and desiring more.
“I was in great need of that, and you, my love,” Daracus said, leaning down for another kiss. “Now, get dressed, and gather my clothes. My sister and the Council are awaiting me, and I fear my need for you has kept me too long.”
“Yes, milord,” Jahno said. After quickly dressing, Jahno dipped the cloth in the basin, gliding it over Daracus’ body. Jahno could feel him flittering through his hair as the cloth moved down his abdomen, and over his thighs. When Daracus clutched his wrist, Jahno swallowed hard, looking up to see a familiar expression and dreading what it meant.
“Well, we have a little time,” Daracus said, resting his hands on Jahno’s shoulders, and lowering him to his knees. In but moments, he called out again, entangling his fingers in Jahno’s long hair, drawing him in closer. “Gods, how I’ve missed you,” he breathed.
Suppressing his urge to retch, Jahno merely nodded, dipping the cloth in the basin. After cleaning his master, and helping him dress, Jahno knelt down again, pulling on Daracus’ boots.
“The next time that I leave Nazil, I’m taking you with me. Would you like that, Jahno?”
He glanced up, feigning a smile. “Yes, sir. If your father allows, I’d be pleased to serve you,” he lied.
“To all seven hells with what father will or will not allow. I’m a man grown and the Nakshij of Nazil. I’ll have who I love at my side, and care little for what he thinks. Father wants pledges and heirs, but I need your cock and arse.”
Jahno flinched, noticing the rise beneath Daracus’ trousers. Not again. Please. Not again. “As you say, milord. Do you want me to bind your hair before you take your meal?”
“Yes,” Daracus relented. “I can’t keep my sister in wait. However, at the meal’s end, you’ll return with me. I hate being rushed, and I miss feeling the thickness of your cock.”
The Rise of Nazil Page 64