by Brea Essex
I wandered over to the door and pulled it open. Genevra stood in the hall. She looked confused. “Were you just talking to someone?”
“Nope.”
“I swore I heard voices.”
“I was just talking to myself. Reading my English essay out loud.”
“Tanis didn’t mention anything about an English essay.”
Oops. I had forgotten Tanis had the same English teacher as I did, just as she had the year before. Better think of something fast. “The teacher gave me the assignment early. She’s giving me an extra week.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Well, she thinks I’m still traumatized from my kidnapping experience.”
Genevra looked pained. She pushed past me into my room and sat on my bed. Nuada stood up and moved next to Genevra, then began to purr. Genevra reached a hand down to pet her. “I don’t mean to pry, but… are you still experiencing trauma from your kidnapping?”
Uh, yeah. Of course, I was still experiencing trauma from my kidnapping! Being dragged into the dimension of the devils was a trip I didn’t care to repeat. Ever. Even though Andrei turned out to be a good guy — at least, he was now — I still might have died while trapped in the Shadow Imperium. Now that I knew what they really wanted with me...if Andrei hadn’t killed me, someone else might have.
Genevra was still waiting for an answer.
“I’m okay,” I finally told her.
I’m not sure she believed me, but she seemed pacified for the moment. “Well, if you need to talk, you know I’m here.”
“Yes, I know. Thanks.” I felt bad for being so short with her. I couldn’t tell her any of what was going on. I wanted her to leave, so Nuada and I could finish talking. Whatever she had to say seemed important, and I couldn’t talk to her about it with Genevra here, especially since Genevra still thought Nuada was a cat.
“Okay. Just don’t forget.” Genevra stood.
“I won’t. I’ll let you know if I need to talk,” I promised as I walked her to the door and shut it behind her.
When I turned back to my bed, Nuada had already turned human. She was combing her fingers through her hair again. “You really do groom yourself as much as a real cat,” I told her.
Her eyes focused on me and narrowed. “I do wish you would be serious.”
“Sorry.” I pulled my desk chair opposite her and dropped into it. “It’s just...everything has been so serious lately. Every once in a while, it feels good to joke around, even if it’s just teasing you about your grooming habits.”
She sighed. “Yes, I understand that, but the time for joking is behind us. If you want to save Logan, you must pay careful attention to what I am about to tell you.”
That got my attention like nothing else could. “What do you mean? I know he’s under some sort of spell, but is he in danger?”
Nodding, she told me, “As I began to say before we were interrupted, Serafina is not what she seems.”
“I already figured that out. Something’s weird about her, the way she came out of nowhere. Now Logan thinks he’s dating her. Does that have to do with the spell? Why would whoever cast the spell make Logan think Sera’s his girlfriend?”
“Because Serafina is the witch.”
I sucked my breath in so sharply that it hissed. “Wow. So I was right. That explains a lot. So, Sera’s the one who cast the spell.”
“That’s not all.” She watched me carefully. “Serafina is a devil.”
Whoa. No way was I expecting that.
The door started to creak open. I looked at Nuada, panicked. She tumbled off the side of the bed, away from the door. I winced when I heard the crash of her hitting the floor. I turned back to find Genevra standing in the doorway. She looked upset. Why had she come back so quickly? “Were you talking to yourself again?”
Oh great. What excuse could I give her this time? “No.”
She sighed. “Why do you insist upon lying to me? You never did before.”
“I’m not lying!”
“Well, none of us were in here. You’re not holding your phone… What else is left?”
“I ,umm, well…” Just then, Nuada jumped back up on the bed, in cat-form once again. “I was talking to Nuada.”
Genevra looked pained. “To the cat?”
“What's wrong with me talking to my cat?”
“It's not normal, Raena.”
I rolled my eyes at her. Probably not the best response, but I couldn't help it. “Lots of people talk to their pets.”
“Come on, let’s go.”
“What? Where are we going?”
“I’ll tell you when we get there.”
“Why won’t you tell me now?”
“Don’t argue with me. Just come with me.”
What was going on? “I’m not arguing with you, Genevra. I just want to know where we’re going. Is that too much to ask?”
“I think it’s time you got some help.”
“Some… help?” Is she seriously saying what I think she’s saying?
She marched over and grabbed my wrist. As she tried to pull me toward the door, she said, “Yes, some professional help.”
“You’re taking me to a psychiatrist?” Panic began to rise within me. Logan had said much the same thing. Am I crazy?
“I’ve already made you an appointment. Don’t fight me on this.”
“Of course I’m going to fight you on this! I don’t need to see a psychiatrist. I’m not crazy!”
“I didn’t say you were crazy. I just think you need some counseling, especially considering everything that’s happened.”
I snatched my wrist from her hand. “You mean like my mother dying? Being kidnapped? My boyfriend abandoning me for another girl? Now you’re going to add my foster mother thinking I’m crazy into the mix? Great, Genevra, just great. Thanks for helping.”
“You need someone to talk to. You’re obviously not going to talk to me or even Tanis. Maybe talking to a stranger would be easier.”
“So a stranger can think I’m crazy too?” I shrieked. I noticed Tanis appear in the hall behind Genevra, but I ignored her. “No thanks. I’d rather stay here.”
“You’re going whether you like it or not.” She nodded toward the door. What was Tanis going to do to help? Too late, I saw Shane coming in. I hadn’t known he was there. He picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and began to carry me down the stairs.
“This is ridiculous and unnecessary!” I shouted as I clung to Shane’s back. “Put me down, Shane. I’ll go to the stupid psychiatrist.”
He set me down at the foot of the stairs, but didn’t entirely release me. “You’ll go willingly?”
“Not willingly. I don’t like it, but I’ll go. You don’t have to carry me.”
Shane still held my arm as we all trooped out to their SUV. “I can get myself in the car, thanks.” I tried to yank my arm out of his grasp, but he was unrelenting. “Seriously? Do you think I’m going to make a run for it or something?”
All three of them remained silent. I allowed Shane to help me into the car, then crossed my arms and stared out the window.
“We’re only doing this for your own good. We’re all worried about you,” Genevra said.
I ignored her. We all stayed silent the entire drive to the psychiatrist’s office. There was a repeat performance of Shane helping me out of the car and grabbing my arm to steer me inside. I went along with it this time. I plopped into a chair and Shane sat next to me. Tanis sat across from me while Genevra went to the receptionist’s window to check in.
I looked around the room while we were waiting. It was sort of homey...inviting, strange for a psychiatrist’s office. We were the only ones in the waiting room, so when the door opened and a tall, slim woman emerged, I knew she was coming for me.
“Raena Davenport?” she called, pushing glasses up the bridge of her nose as she stared at the chart in her hand.
I grimaced and stood as Shane released me. Genevra stood as w
ell and began to follow me. “I’m sorry,” the woman said. “I’m afraid I need to speak with Raena alone at first. There will be time where her family may join us later.”
I secretly gloated. Genevra wouldn’t have the opportunity to convince the psychiatrist that I was crazy before I got a chance to talk to her first. The doctor gestured for me to go through the door and she followed, letting the door swing closed behind us.
She turned toward me and offered me a brilliant smile. I wondered briefly if she bleached her teeth. No one had teeth that white, did they? “Hello, Raena. I’m Doctor Jillian Mackay.” She held out a hand for me to shake.
I took her proffered hand. “You can call me Rae.”
“And you can call me Jill.”
“If it’s okay with you, could I call you Dr. Mackay?”
“That’s fine. Most patients just find it easier to open up when we’re on a first name basis.”
I cringed at the word “patient”. “I was taught to call all doctors by their titles. You went to school for a long time to earn that title, right?”
She laughed. “Well, yes, I did. If it makes you feel better, you can call me Dr. Mackay, or even Dr. Jill. Whatever works for you.”
I couldn’t believe how laid-back she was. Hardly what I’d expected from a psychiatrist. “How about Dr. Jillian?” I asked hesitantly.
“Sounds like a good compromise to me. Sit anywhere you like.”
She went behind the desk. Her chair was already rolled away from the desk. She folded herself carefully into it while I sat in one of the facing chairs, on the opposite side of the desk.
I stayed silent. No way was I going to start.
“Now Rae, why don’t you tell me why you’re here today?” she asked.
“Don’t you already know? I’m sure Genevra would have said something when she called to make this appointment.”
“Yes, I do have an idea, but I’d like to hear it from you. What brought you here?”
Sighing, I said, “My family thinks I’m crazy.”
She nodded as though this were an everyday occurrence. “And why do you think that?”
“I don’t think it. They do.”
“So they told you they think you’re crazy.”
“Not in so many words…”
“Then you just assumed they think this?”
This was not fun. “No. They treat me like I’m crazy. And they brought me here, didn’t they?”
“Just because you’re here doesn’t mean you’re crazy, Rae.”
Well that was a relief. “So I’m not crazy?”
She folded her arms on the desk and leaned forward. “Do you think you are?”
“No…”
“Then tell me why you think your family assumes you’re crazy.”
“Do I really have to?”
“Unless you just want to sit here and stare at each other for the next fifty minutes.”
I laughed. “Okay, okay. Well, they think I talk to myself.”
“Do you?”
“No.”
“Then who are you speaking with on these occasions where they believe you are talking to yourself?”
“My cat,” I answered, cringing. That alone would probably be enough for her to dub me crazy.
“I see. And you have… conversations… with your cat?”
Oh wow. If she only knew the truth. “Not exactly,” I hedged.
“Then how would you classify them?”
“It’s just… fine. I guess it’s more rhetorical than anything. You know, like voicing your thoughts out loud to try and sort them out? That’s normal, right?” I hated to lie, but I couldn’t tell her the truth. Yes, doctor, my cat is a shape-shifting sorceress sent by my angel father to protect me so the devils don’t sacrifice me. That would go over really well.
“I’m not here to tell you what’s normal and not normal. Do you think it’s normal?”
Was she just going to keep asking questions? “Umm… I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you tell me more? Did something happen recently to trigger these rhetorical conversations?”
I might as well tell her what I could. I’d just leave out the supernatural parts. The parts that made me sound truly crazy. “Well, my mom died in March.”
“Not long ago, was it? How did that make you feel?”
I guess she was going to keep asking questions. “It made me feel… I don’t know. Alone.” Tears began to well in my eyes.
“So how did you cope with that?”
“I didn’t,” I said, my voice wavering.
“What did you do soon after her death?”
I looked at her, confused. “I moved here.”
“That’s not what I mean. You got a boyfriend, didn’t you?”
Had Genevra told her everything? “Yeah.”
“And that boyfriend…?”
“Turned out to be a psycho, so I broke up with him.”
“Then you got another boyfriend?”
Wow. The way she said it made me sound like a player. “It wasn’t like that. Logan and I didn’t start dating until after...”
“After what?”
“After Andrei kidnapped me,” I whispered.
“Who is Andrei?”
“The ex-boyfriend.”
She paled. Apparently, Genevra hadn’t shared that small detail. “So the first boyfriend is the one who kidnapped you?”
“Yes.” I hated rehashing all of this again.
“How did you escape? Were the police called? Did they find you?”
“No,” I replied, forcing a hint of steel into my tone. Maybe she’d pick up on it and change the subject. “Logan found out where I was and he rescued me.”
“Logan is?”
“My boyfriend.”
She frowned down at her notes. “You are dating him currently?”
“No. Not exactly.”
“You called him your boyfriend.”
“He is — sort of.”
“How is someone sort of your boyfriend?”
“Weren’t you ever a teenager, Dr. Mackay?” I dropped the “Jillian”. At the moment, I didn’t care if she preferred to be called by her first name.
“Yes, of course.”
“Look, I’d rather not talk about it right now.” I didn’t want to admit to her that Logan and I weren’t technically together. She would ask why and then I would lose it. Besides, I couldn’t tell her he was under a spell.
“All right then. What do you want to talk about?”
“Nothing. Are we done here?”
She glanced at her clock. We were only halfway through the appointment. “I suppose so. I’d like to speak with your guardians before you leave.”
“Fine. I’m sure they’ll want to speak with you too.”
I stood and walked out of her office. Genevra, Shane, and Tanis were still sitting exactly where I’d left them in the waiting room. “She wants to talk to you,” I informed them, jerking my thumb in the direction of the office I’d just vacated. I didn’t wait to see if they went in to talk to her. I needed some air. I hurried across the waiting room and headed outside. I leaned against the building wall, hoping they wouldn’t follow me. I closed my eyes, trying to resist the need to bang my head against the brick. It would hurt, and it certainly wouldn’t help. What were they thinking?
“Raena?” Tanis’ voice came hesitantly. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes and glared at her. “What do you think?” I laughed bitterly as I realized that I sounded like the psychiatrist asking questions.
“I’m sorry Mom and Dad did that.”
Still she insisted upon calling them Mom and Dad to me. They would never be my parents, no matter that my mom was dead and my dad was who knows where. I shrugged, trying to calm down. “I shouldn’t have been surprised. I guess I have been acting weird.”
“You know, if you need to talk, I’m here.”
I heaved a sigh. “Thanks. I may just take you up on that. Talking to you has t
o be better than being dragged to the psych office.”
“I wish I wasn’t your last resort,” she said softly.
“What do you mean?”
“You talk to Tristan, you talk to the psychiatrist, you talk to the cat, but you won’t talk to me? I know we’re not all that close, but we are sisters.”
“I had no idea it was such a big deal to you.”
“It’s not, I guess…”
I think I understood then. She must be feeling left out. We weren’t super close, as in hanging around each other all the time, but we were sisters, as she said. Before I could respond, the door opened. Genevra and Shane emerged. “Dr. Mackay would like to see you again next week,” Genevra said.
“Are you serious? I have to come back here?”
“She feels there’s still a lot of progress to be made.”
Yeah, like that was going to happen. “Can we just go home?”
If they were surprised by my lack of protest, they certainly didn’t show it. “All right. Let’s go home.”
We remained silent the whole way home.
Chapter Nineteen
Andrei
“Lord Andrei!”
I cringed. Serafina was coming up behind me. I turned slowly. “Yes?” I asked, exasperated.
“Why have you sent me on this mission if you are going to take the opposite side now?”
“I have not taken the opposite side. Your mission stands.” As much as I wanted to tell her to end her mission, it would give me away. I had to pretend that I remained on my mother’s side until we destroyed her. I would just have to help Raena find a way to break Serafina’s spell. There were ways. I just hoped she would take my advice.
“Then why have I seen you with the half-breed girl?”
“I am simply trying to gain her trust. We still need her, just as much as we need my brother. They are both key to taking over Heaven completely.” That was why I needed to halt my mother’s plan. I longed to be in Heaven again, but not on her terms. Her terms would destroy Heaven and everything it stood for. It would make Heaven just as much of a wasteland as the Shadow Imperium currently was. No, Heaven needed to remain as-is, in its pristine condition. The Creator’s plans needed to be honored. I just wished I had discovered this before.