by Ginny Dye
“I think he will in time,” Robert replied. “The cost and time of trying to fight it here in Virginia will become more than he can bear, especially if he can’t find her. He’ll have no way of knowing she has gone to Philadelphia.”
“You’ve talked to Father and Abby about this,” Carrie guessed.
“Yes,” Robert admitted. “We talked about it when I went in to file the papers for her. Abby offered her home in Philadelphia if it is needed.”
Carrie filtered this new information through her mind. “When should we leave?” she asked quietly.
Robert took a deep breath. “In the morning,” he said sadly. “I wouldn’t put it past Clifford to come back soon. It makes sense to fight it here before he has to go back to North Carolina. Since he is an attorney, he may have friends he can convince to make Janie go back.”
Carrie gasped. “Tomorrow? What about the clinic? What about our patients?”
Robert took both her hands. “I realize this isn’t a good time.” His brow creased with worry. “I just don’t know what else to do,” he said with a helpless shrug of his shoulders.
Carrie suddenly realized what an impossible situation he was in. She also realized what a sacrifice he was making to let her go away. Hard on the heels of that realization was the very real possibility that Janie could be dragged home or hurt again if Clifford returned. Pushing aside any other feelings, Carrie squeezed Robert’s hands firmly and nodded. “Thank you for caring so much about Janie,” she whispered. “How long do you think we should stay away? I will miss you every moment we’re gone, but I believe you’re right.”
Robert closed his eyes with relief. “One month,” he said firmly. “Thomas and I agree that will be long enough to take the wind out of his sails, and also make him realize it will be best for him to just move on.
Carrie trembled but nodded. “There’s only one thing,” she said, suddenly realizing it was the only way they could do this.
Robert cocked his brow.
“Janie has to know the truth about what is happening. She is not a child. She is a grown woman who has already had to fight for her freedom. She may be frightened, but she is strong enough to deal with this. There will be no secrets.”
Robert nodded slowly. “You’re right.”
Carrie put down her brush and rose from her seat. “I’ll go talk to her now. We’ll be ready to leave in the morning.” She stood and wrapped her arms around Robert. “I said there was only one thing, but actually there is one more,” she said lightly, forcing herself to focus on the night she had left and not all the ones without her husband that loomed ahead.
“And that is?” Robert asked, kissing her softly.
“I want you waiting for me when I get back,” she said, running her hand down his chest and deepening their kiss before she stepped away with a sultry laugh.
“Oh, you can count on it, Mrs. Borden. You can definitely count on it.”
******
Rose and Moses were there to tell them goodbye the next morning when they stepped out onto the porch long before sunrise.
Rose wrapped Carrie tightly in her arms. “Be safe,” she whispered. She stepped back and laughed lightly, putting her hand on her stomach. “My baby is telling you to be safe too. He or she seems quite insistent.”
Carrie laid her hand softly on the growing mound. “I’ll be home long before this little one is born,” she promised.
“And I promise to let all your patients know you were called away on an emergency, but that you’ll be back as soon as possible,” Rose replied, glad the darkness was covering the tears she had vowed not to shed. She turned and wrapped her arms around Janie. “You’re going to be okay. Clifford won’t be able to hurt you.”
Janie nodded bravely. “I know,” she said, surprising everyone with the strength in her voice. “I’m done being afraid of him, but I’m also wise enough not to make decisions that will put me, and all of you, in danger as well.” She managed a light chuckle. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to visit Philadelphia!”
******
One week later, Carrie and Janie stood outside a restaurant taking deep, appreciative breaths. “It sure smells like Opal’s cooking,” Carrie said, leaning back to look up at the sign perched over the door of the simple storefront. “Southern Goodness,” she read. “This is the place.”
Carrie could hardly believe so much time had already flown by. Once she got over the shock of so suddenly leaving Cromwell, it was easy to enter into the spirit of the adventure. She hadn’t been in Philadelphia since the summer before the war — that amazing summer that brought Abby into her life and changed everything she felt and believed.
Janie shivered and pulled her coat tighter. “Is it always so cold here?” she asked.
Carrie laughed. “The Farmer’s Almanac said this winter is going to be brutal,” she informed her cheerfully. “Look at the bright side. When you get back to Virginia, you may think it’s actually warm.”
“I’m more interested in being warm now,” Janie retorted good-naturedly. “Are we just going to stand outside this restaurant, or are we actually going in?”
Carrie responded by pushing open the door, smiling when the warmth from the large pot belly stove in the middle of the restaurant pushed out to blast her face. She was immediately charmed by Southern Goodness. The décor was very basic, but it was warm and friendly. Small tables were covered with red and white checked cloths, and lanterns cast a warm glow through the entire place. She wasn’t surprised when an instant silence fell over every table as people turned to stare at them. She smiled brightly, knowing they were probably the only white people to ever enter the restaurant.
It didn’t take long for the silence to be broken.
“Carrie! Carrie, is that you!” Opal bustled out of the kitchen, her ample body clothed in a crisp apron, her eyes shining with delight. “And Janie!” she cried. “Well, if you two ain’t a sight for sore eyes. Sit yourselves down and tell me what you’re doing here in Philadelphia.” She leaned over the counter and yelled. “Eddie! Get out here. You won’t believe who just walked in our door.”
Conversation resumed as everyone realized the two white women were Opal’s friends. Eyes were still trained on them, but now there were merely curious instead of suspicious.
Beaming, Opal seated them at a table and then rushed back into the kitchen, appearing moments later with a huge platter of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and steaming biscuits slathered with butter.
Carrie closed her eyes with delight as she took the first bite of a biscuit. “Annie is a wonderful cook, but no one makes biscuits like you do,” she confessed.
Opal ducked her head, her eyes shining with pleasure. “Now you two tell me what you’re doing up here.”
Her face grew stern as Janie told her about Clifford. “Ain’t no man got a right to hurt a woman,” she said firmly. “If my Eddie were to lay a hand to me…”
“Opal would probably hurt me worse than I could hurt her,” Eddie said as he stole up behind her and kissed the top of her head. Then he moved around her and gave both Carrie and Janie a hug. “It’s so good to see you two. I never imagined we would have you in our restaurant.”
Carrie looked around her and noticed every table was full. “You seem to be doing well.”
Eddie nodded. “We gots Aunt Abby to thank for that, for sure. She gave us the money to get started, but more importantly, she talked a friend into renting us this building. It’s in a perfect location. We been making money since the very beginning. The kids help when we need them, but we’re keeping them in school as much as we can. The kids are all real bright, but those two Sadies are something else. Both of them want to go to college.”
Opal shook her head. “Can you imagine that?” she asked proudly. “It ain’t been long at all since all of us be slaves. Now these two girls are in school and talking about going to college.”
“How is Susie?” Janie asked. “Zeke?’
Opal shook her head sadly.
“Susie ain’t heard nothing at all about Zeke. We knows there a bunch of soldiers got killed that were never identified. Me and Eddie think Zeke has to be one of them, but Susie refuses to give up hope.” Her eyes shone with tears. “It breaks my heart to see her disappointed every single day when she doesn’t hear from him. She was in here working ‘til just a little while before you came in. She opens up the restaurant every morning about five o’clock. She leaves when lunch starts so she can go to school.
“Her heart is broken,” Eddie said heavily, “but she’s determined to go to school and become a teacher like Rose. She’s gonna do it too!”
“So you’re glad you left the South?” Carrie asked, saddened by the news about Susie, but knowing the girl was strong enough to handle yet another loss, especially since she had her daddy back.
“We sure are,” Eddie said firmly. “It ain’t perfect up here, and there still be lots of people who think we’re just dumb niggers, but there are opportunities here that we wouldn’t never have found in the South. Especially not in Richmond. We made the right decision.”
Opal nodded her head firmly. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” she said firmly. “I just wish it weren’t so cold,” she said dramatically. She laughed heartily. “Now you two tell me everything that is going on down in Virginia.” She glanced toward the kitchen. “I have sweet potato pie for dessert.”
Carrie grinned at Janie and leaned forward. “There is so much to tell you…”
Chapter Thirty-Five
“This is it,” Janie murmured as she gazed up at the looming, three-story brick building at 229 Arch Street. “The Female Medical College.”
Carrie’s heart pounded as she stared at the building and watched the female students hurrying in and out of its doors. “We’re looking at the first college in the world specifically established to train women for the degree of doctor of medicine. There were just eight women who received degrees during their first graduation in 1851. Dr. Hannah Longshore was one of them. Abby told me about her. She was Philadelphia’s first active woman doctor.” Awe filled her face. “So much history has been made here. So many women have changed the course of medicine and the future for women. It’s an honor just to be standing here.”
“And four years ago,” Janie added, “they established the Woman’s Hospital of Philadelphia to offer medical and surgical care for women by women. It was the first ever woman’s hospital.”
Carrie nodded. “They knew they had to expand clinical experience for the college’s students.” She thought about all she had learned during her long years at Chimborazo. “They train nurses too.” She and Janie watched as two women strode by, their heads together in serious discussion, their arms loaded with books.
“Are you ready for your interview?” Janie asked. “It’s almost time for you to go in.”
Carrie took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’m ready or not,” she murmured. “Standing outside and thinking about being a doctor is very different from actually walking through those doors and applying for medical college.”
“You’re meant to be a doctor, Carrie, Janie said firmly. She gave her a little push. “Being late is hardly a good first impression.”
Carrie looked at her for a long moment, nervousness clutching her throat.
“You walk in there with your head held high,” Janie scolded. “You probably already know more than most of the doctors who have graduated!”
Carrie seriously doubted that was true, but she straightened her shoulders, lifted her head, and sailed in through the doors, her heart pounding with excitement. She could hardly believe she was actually walking into the Female Medical College, clutching a recommendation from Dr. Strikener and a letter from Dr. Wild.
******
Two hours later, Carried emerged from the building, her eyes a little glazed as she absorbed all she had learned. Janie was just walking up from the opposite direction, her cheeks glowing from the cold, but her eyes strangely bright. “You haven’t been waiting outside all this time, have you?” Carrie asked.
“No,” Janie replied. “I’ve kept warm.” She grabbed Carrie’s arm. “Well?”
“The interview went well,” Carrie replied. “It was almost surreal,” she admitted. “After working alongside only men during the war, it was rather strange to be surrounded by women who are actual doctors. I felt both intimidated and validated,” she confessed.
“They were impressed with you weren’t they?” Janie demanded. “Come on, Carrie, tell me the truth.”
“They seemed to be,” Carrie acknowledged. “That may have just made it harder. I’m afraid of letting them down.”
“Nonsense,” Janie snorted, grabbing Carrie’s hand. “Carrie, this is what you want. You’ve wanted it for years.” Her eyes were confused. “Why are you holding back?”
Carrie looked at Janie, tears glistening in her eyes. “Yes. This is what I want.” She thought back to five years ago. “When I was in Philadelphia five years ago, I didn’t get to come here. I toured the University of Pennsylvania, but I didn’t know about the Female Medical College. When I left to go home, I thought I would be coming right back. Abby and I had made so many plans…”
“And then your mother became ill and died. And then you had to run the plantation because of your father’s grief.” Janie’s voice sounded a little impatient. “What does this have to do with now?”
Carrie ignored her question, still lost in the past. “Then there was the war,” Carrie said heavily. “And now I’m back on the plantation with Robert.”
“He supports your desire to come to medical school,” Janie reminded her.
“I know,” Carrie said quietly.
“So what is wrong?”
Carrie shook her head. “I’m not sure…” She stared up at the building as the truth filtered into her heart. “In spite of the fact that I’ve spent my whole life rebelling against southern tradition, there is a part of me that feels guilty for leaving Robert to come to school,” she admitted, scowling as the truth of her acknowledgement hit home.
“And you’ll miss your husband…”
“Of course,” Carrie said. As she stared at the building, her heart pounding with excitement, she knew it wasn’t missing Robert that was holding her back. “I love Robert with all my heart.”
Janie reached for her hand. “Robert wants this for you.”
“I know he does,” Carrie whispered.
“Then you just need to get over it,” Janie said firmly.
Carrie stared at her, smiling at the determination shining in her friend’s eyes. Janie had seemed to grow stronger every day they were out of Virginia. Carrie had watched during the last ten days as Janie bloomed into a woman she liked very much but wasn’t sure she recognized. “Just like that?” she asked quietly.
“No, not just like that,” Janie responded. “You never change just like that. It’s never easy.” She gripped Carrie’s hand more tightly. “Carrie, it was your words that gave me the courage to escape Clifford — even though it took me months before I could accept the truth of them. Southern tradition told me I was a failure as a person if I was a failure as a wife. Southern tradition told me my life was over as a woman if I got a divorce.”
“None of that is true,” Carrie said firmly.
“You’re right,” Janie agreed easily. “It is just as true that you leaving Robert long enough to become a doctor doesn’t make you a bad wife. Especially,” she said with a laugh, “when your husband wants you to do it so badly.” She peered into Carrie’s eyes. “You’re afraid,” she said softly.
Carrie wanted to deny what Janie said, but all she could do was drop her eyes and stare down at her hands. Her friend had helped her through so many times during the war when fear threatened to swallow her. She struggled to make sense of the feelings swarming in her mind and heart. “I had to be strong for so long during the war. There were times I thought it would never end. Now that it’s over…”
“There is a part of y
ou that just wants things to stay the same. You want to stay on the plantation, run your clinic, and be with your husband.”
Carrie’s defiance flared. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Not a thing,” Janie said calmly. “If it was enough.” She tilted Carrie’s head up to meet her eyes. “But it’s not. You also want to be a doctor. You want to come to school in Philadelphia where you can meet other strong women who share your dream. You want to study with them. You want to learn new things from women doctors who have led the way for you. You want to be an actual doctor.”
Carrie looked back at the building, her heart yearning to experience what Janie was describing, but a stubborn part of her also wanting long nights around the fireplace with Robert. She wanted to watch Rose’s children grow up. She wanted to walk to her clinic and treat her patients, listening to the voices of small children learning on the other side of the wall. She wanted to ride into Richmond any time she wanted to visit her father and Abby. After five years of almost constant turmoil, she yearned for a period of normalcy and consistency.
The vision drew her in, but…
“It’s only two years,” Janie reminded her. “And you’ll be able to go home during parts of it.”
“I know,” Carrie whispered.
“Remember why, Carrie.”
Carrie turned questioning eyes toward her friend. “Why?”
“Why do you want to be a doctor? What has kept the dream alive?” Janie squeezed her hand and fell silent.
Carrie sat quietly, knowing this was the real question that had to be answered. Visions of her father’s slaves and all the times she had helped them filled her mind. She saw her mother lying on her bed, slowly wasting away until she died. Memories of each soldier she had treated during the war rose up to beckon her. She thought of the thousands of veterans who would need help in the years to come, and the communities of freedmen struggling to get medical care. She envisioned Robert’s proud face as he talked about her being a doctor.