by Tia Siren
And I was starting to wonder how good of an upbringing I could give a child. Of course, I didn't think I would ever raise a child in the way that my parents had raised me. I did want to be there for the kid and give it everything it wanted. But I also didn't know if I could really be there, not like Paige and her family could be.
I hadn't been raised that way. I could be more loving than my parents, I was sure, but I didn't know that I could be as loving as someone who was raised to be a loving individual, like Paige was.
But I was getting way ahead of myself. We didn't even know if Paige was pregnant yet. It could be that we had to wait a whole month until she was ovulating again. Who knew what could change, between now and then.
I didn't know what I expected might change, but it seemed like I was worrying prematurely.
I took a deep breath, and suddenly I remembered Paige mentioning in passing that her period was due to start today, if she was going to have her period. I sent her a quick text, asking about it.
Haven't bought a test yet, Paige sent back, but that was it.
I frowned, thinking over the events of the weekend for the umpteenth time. Saturday night had been so perfect, but she had been gone before I woke up on Sunday morning. I had had to quell a rush of disappointment at that. She must have thought, again, that I just wanted her there so we could try to conceive the child if we hadn't already. If there was any remaining chance of it.
But then, she had called me in the middle of the day and asked me to dinner with her parents. And that night, it had been as though nothing was wrong between us, even though neither of us mentioned how she had disappeared on me that morning. Again, I was struck with the realization that we needed to have a serious talk at some point. But I wasn't sure what to say to her.
Mainly because I didn't know what I wanted from her. It was one thing to realize I had feelings for someone; it was another thing entirely to start a relationship with her. Plus, suppose that I was mistaken, and she didn't have feelings for me at all. I didn't want to mess up an easy friendship, and I didn't want to mess up the contract. Having an heir came first and foremost.
For now, I realized it would put my mind at rest to first know whether she was pregnant or not, since my thoughts seemed to keep coming back around to the contract and whether or not there was a baby already growing inside of her.
I did a little research and finally found information about something called an EPT test, which could be taken before the period was missed, telling you even sooner if you were pregnant. Of course, I knew it wasn't entirely foolproof, but it would at least give us something to work off.
I stopped by the pharmacy as I left work and picked one up.
When I got to Paige's apartment, I had to stop outside the door for a minute, taking a deep breath to compose myself. Then, I knocked.
I hadn't been over there before and didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't what I saw when Paige opened the door. The place was tiny, and sheets divided the different areas of the room. I shook my head, knowing I needed to get her out of there. She deserved better than that.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Is Erica here?”
Paige frowned. “No, but if you're here for another round of sex, it's too late for me to conceive on this cycle.”
I felt a rush of disappointment run through me, thinking that meant her period had already shown up. But just to confirm: “You started your period?”
“No, but it should come today if it's going to come,” Paige said impatiently. “That means it's probably too late. We've tried our best.”
She seemed as though she didn't even want to consider having sex with me again, and I frowned, wondering what had changed. Our relationship seemed to be constantly flipping between hot and cold. First, things were fine between us, and then it was like she never wanted to talk to me again. I didn't know where I stood with her, and it was starting to drive me nuts.
I held out the test. “I bought you this. It's supposed to be the earliest you can use to know if you are pregnant, and it should work even if you haven't missed your period yet.”
Paige frowned down at it, her face paling slightly. She slowly took the bag from my hands, looking as though she didn't want to be anywhere near it.
“Are you all right?” I asked her.
She gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, it's just, it's all just started to feel real,” she said. “I could be pregnant, couldn't I?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Isn't that the point?” I asked. “That's what we were trying to achieve.”
“Right, it was,” Paige said. “It's a big change, that's all.”
I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but from the way that she crossed her arms, she didn't appear to want that. I frowned, trying to figure out what she wanted me to say.
“Once you take the test, there will be no more wondering and worrying,” I pointed out. “Or there may still be worrying, but at least you'll know for sure if there really is a baby to worry about.”
Paige cracked a small smile. Then, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “All right,” she said. “I'm going to go use this, I guess. Give me a minute.”
I waited near the door, even though part of me wanted to use the time that she was in the bathroom to check out the apartment. I realized I was curious about how Paige lived. I wondered if she was messy or neat. On another level, I wondered what her bed looked like. Wanted to picture her sprawled out there in that bed, her hair spilling over the pillows as she stretched and woke up in the morning.
I was embarrassed to feel myself grow hard. Paige was in the other room, testing to see if she was pregnant. If so, there would be no more of this arrangement between us. I wanted to be there for her during her pregnancy, but if this was strictly the business relationship we had outlined in the contract, who knew how much she would allow for me to help her. Maybe she wouldn't want to see me at all, and then as soon as the baby was born, she would just hand it over to me.
Paige walked out of the bathroom, her face grim.
“Not pregnant?” I asked, not sure how I felt.
“We need to wait two minutes,” she told me. She still looked nervous, all but ringing her hands. I nodded and moved towards her, stopping just short of pulling her into my arms. But it was Paige who stepped into my arms, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her face against my chest.
The next two minutes felt like the longest two minutes of my life, but it was strangely nice, having her pressed against me like that. I petted her hair, resting my cheek against the top of her head.
Finally, I looked at my watch and saw that two minutes had passed. I nodded and took a step away from Paige, putting my hands on her shoulders. For a moment, I just stared at her, and she stared back. I sensed that there was something to say, but I didn't have the words for whatever it was hanging in the air between us.
We went into the bathroom, and Paige hesitantly reached out and turned over the stick. Two pink lines were showing on it.
“What does that mean?” I asked, my voice strangely hushed.
Paige consulted the back of the box and then looked back over at me. “Pregnant,” she whispered.
I stared at her for a long moment, hardly able to believe it. Then, I pulled her into my arms, hugging her fiercely. “Pregnant,” I repeated.
Paige laughed a little. “Pregnant,” she agreed.
“I'm going to make sure you have the best care imaginable,” I promised her. “I've already started looking into gynecologists and prenatal vitamins and workshops.”
Paige laughed again. “Okay, super-dad,” she told me, but she looked pleased.
I pulled her into my arms again, kissing the top of her head.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Paige
Two days later, the news still hadn't sunken in. I was at work, trying to focus, but I was having a hard time of it. The words just kept bouncing around in my head, over and o
ver again. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant.
I didn't know how I felt about it. I was excited, I could tell that much, at least. But I was also worried. I couldn't believe I was going to have to give up the baby and never see it again. Now that it was growing inside me, the full implications of that were starting to hit me. Plus, I was worried about how I would explain things to my parents. I hadn't even been able to tell Erica that I was pregnant yet, even though she had asked, and I'd buried the pregnancy test deep in the trash bin so she wouldn't find it.
I remembered how excited Michael had been, and I had to smile. He was clearly ready to be a father. And the more time I spent with him, the more convinced I was he would be a good father for the kid. He was great with my parents, and he made me feel comfortable around him. Of course, it would be different, interacting with kids, but I still figured he'd be good at it. I just had some sense about it.
Some motherly sense maybe, I thought, resting a hand briefly over my stomach. I obviously wasn't anywhere near showing yet, but I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like when there was a little bump there.
I'd quit working at The Shift long before that, though.
I looked morosely around the place. I'd been working here for a couple years now, and the place was almost like a second home. The people were like a family. But except for Erica, I wasn't going to be able to tell any of them the truth about my pregnancy. And I probably wouldn't see most of them again.
But I was excited about the baby. About the fact that we had managed to get me pregnant, that I had a human being growing inside me, albeit a little one. Michael was already so on top of it, sending me information about what I needed to expect, scheduling meetings with the doctor, and everything else. He was making it all so easy for me, making me feel so cared for.
I had to keep reminding myself he was caring for me because he really was trying to care for his baby.
“How's your night going, darling?” a man asked as I handed him a bottle of beer.
I shrugged and flashed him a quick smile. “It's n easy night,” I said, gesturing around the bar. “Wednesday's are always easy.”
The guy grinned and gave me a lewd one-over. “And what about you?” he asked. “Are you always easy?”
I gaped at him, hardly believing that he had just asked me that. What's more, he didn't seem to see anything wrong in asking me that. I shook my head; there were always sleazy guys at The Shift. Better that I just shoot off a terse response and ignore it.
“I'm engaged,” I lied. The lie came easily, at this point; it wasn't the first time I'd had to use that line. Erica had come up with it, if necessary, she would vouch for me.
The guy shrugged. “Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you,” he said.
“Well, it does bother me,” I said shortly, wondering why he couldn't just quit. Guys were so gross sometimes.
Unbidden, thoughts of Michael popped into my head. I had expected him to be just another sleazy guy, in the beginning. Most of our regulars were, and after all, he did have money. Plus, it wasn't as though I hadn't seen the rotating cast of women he brought home with him.
But Michael had proven me wrong. He seemed genuinely sweet. Not like this asshole, who still wasn't leaving me alone.
“Obviously your fiancé doesn't care, if he's not here watching you,” the guy said, giving me that once-over again. “Dude has to know the effect you have on guys, with an ass like that. You're just asking to be filled.”
“Fuck off,” I said, suddenly losing my temper. I didn't care who overheard me or how it affected my tips for the night; the guy had to know he couldn't talk to me like that. I didn't even think he was that drunk, that was the thing. He was still able to think logically, and he somehow still thought his words were okay.
“Oh come on, sweetheart,” the guy said. “I'm just looking for a little fun. Why don't you bring that pussy around to my place? Your fiancé can come watch if you want.”
I tried a different tactic: ignoring him. I walked down to the far end of the bar and served someone there. But everyone seemed to be coming to the perv's end of the bar, and there wasn't anything I could do except make my way back over there. I sighed under my breath and walked slowly back over, wishing that it were busier so I could escape. But it was dead enough that I was the only person out there right now; Erica was in the back finishing up some paperwork, and she had already sent everyone else home for the night since there wasn't enough business to keep everyone there.
I finished pouring drinks and realized I needed to wash some glasses, but of course, he was sitting on the end of the counter next to the sink. I gritted my teeth and got to work, vowing to keep ignoring him.
“Are you this much of a bitch to your fiancé?” the guy had the gall to ask. “I bet you must be pretty fiery in the sack, huh?”
I didn't respond, but I made a covert signal to one of the security guys. This was getting ridiculous, and I was starting to get a little scared. Not that I thought anything was going to happen to me, not there. But I didn't want him there anymore, not when he wouldn't seem to quit.
Dan was there immediately, scowling at the dude. “Is there a problem here?”
“This guy won't leave me alone,” I said before the guy had a chance to say anything. “I want him out of here.”
“Come on, that's not fair,” the guy said. “I'm paying for my drinks, and I'm not doing anything wrong.”
Dan shrugged. “If she wants you out, you're going out,” he said. “Find another bar, if you want, but leave our girls alone.”
The guy's face contorted with rage, but he didn't have any choice but to move as Dan hustled him off his stool and toward the door. He dropped his beer on the floor in the process, and I rolled my eyes as it shattered. Some people could be so petty. Still, I'd rather have a broken bottle to clean up than have the guy hassling me any longer.
I got to work cleaning it up. “Someone break something?” Erica asked as she came back out behind the bar.
I glanced over at her and rolled my eyes. “You know, those rowdy Wednesday nights,” I joked, trying to put the incident behind me.
Erica laughed and shook her head. “I think we probably ought to close up early tonight,” she said, glancing around. We only had a handful of people there that evening, and most of them were slowing down at this point. We weren't going to make many more sales, that was for sure.
“Let's stay open just a bit longer,” I told her, thinking of the guy who had just been escorted out. I didn't want him to still be in the area when I left. Again, not that I thought he would do anything to me, but I didn't want to see him again.
“All right,” Erica said, shrugging at me. “Are you avoiding Michael?” she asked as I went back behind the bar. There was no one else to serve right then, so there wasn't any way for me to avoid the questions that I knew were coming.
I sighed. “I'm pregnant,” I admitted.
Erica grinned broadly and pulled me into a hug. “Congratulations!” she said. Then, she frowned. “Does Michael know?”
“Yeah, he was the one who bought the test,” I told her. “He came over the other day, and I took it then.”
“I'm hurt that I'm not the first person to know,” Erica said jokingly. “That's great, though. I'm really happy for you.”
“I'm happy too,” I told her. “And nervous. More than I thought I'd be.”
Erica paused. “So are you going to see him again before you have the baby?”
“I think I have to,” I told her. “He's scheduled all the doctor appointments and these birthing classes and everything. So it seems he plans to be there. And that's probably a good thing so he can make sure that everything is okay with his kid.”
“When are you going to move?” Erica asked.
I sighed and rubbed at my temples. “I don't know yet,” I told her. “Soon, I guess. Michael said he was going to deposit the money into my bank account, but I haven't checked for it yet.”
&nbs
p; “You're trying to put it off, aren't you?” Erica asked sagely.
I sighed. “I can't help it, I'm just nervous,” I told her. “This is the start of a big change in my life.”
“It is,” she agreed. “But I don't think that's a bad thing, do you? Especially not since you're now a millionaire, aren't you?”
“Maybe,” I said. “If he's deposited the money.” I smiled a little.
Erica looked around. “It's going to be so weird, not having you working here with me anymore,” she said. “I'm going to miss you. We'll have to make sure we still get together. For lunch, I guess, since you won't be meeting up for drinks anytime soon!”
I shook my head. “Yeah,” I said, a lump forming in my throat.
“Let's close-up for the night,” Erica suggested, sensing my distress.
I nodded and watched as she cleared everyone out. We cleaned the bar mostly in silence, with just the radio keeping us company. Then, we walked outside, arms linked together.
The guy from earlier was waiting for us out there, and I froze, not sure what to do. Dan and the other security guy had already gone home for the night, once we'd officially closed up, so it was just the two of us, Erica and I. Neither of us was any match for the guy's broad shoulders.
And based on the way he was leering at me, he wasn't going to give up, even if I told him no.
But suddenly, I caught sight of movement beyond the guy. Michael's limo was parked against the curb, and Michael was standing outside of it, lounging casually against it. “Hey,” he called out, and I made a beeline for him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him.
Michael frowned. “You look pale,” he said. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said, looking back over my shoulder for the guy. But he was either hiding in the shadows or had finally realized he wasn't going to be taking me home that night. He was nowhere to be seen. “Nothing's wrong,” I repeated. “I'm just tired.”