"You know."
"Are you asking if Una and I have ever made the beast with two backs?" he feigned taking offence.
"Urgh... I hate that phrase," I moaned.
"I suppose you'd prefer the term making love, like in all those books you read."
With my cheeks burning pink, my jaw dropped open.
"You think I don't know about them," he said. "You hide them under the bed along with your not so secret diary."
"Sean!"
I hit him in the stomach and he laughed.
"What? I was looking for cigarettes a few months ago and found them. Don't worry, I didn't read much of your diary."
"Much?"
Again, he tapped the side of his nose.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about what you do after lights out."
I felt as though I was about to throw up. I'd written in my diary thinking no one would ever see it. What I did after everyone went to bed made me feel as though I was dirty and deviant, even though I'd heard that other girls did it too.
"Don't look like that," Sean pulled at my arm. "Everyone does it. It's only natural."
"Really?"
He nodded.
"Hey, I read what you said about yourself. You think you're ugly and disgusting because you jerk off once in a while. Who cares? I do it all the time."
"I know you do!" I said. "It's normal for boys to do it. Girls aren't supposed to."
"Where the hell did you hear that? I bet you read it in one of those stupid, teenage girl magazines mom makes you read, you know the ones that tell you how to act all classy and climb in and out of cars without flashing your panties."
It was partly true. Mom was adamant I behaved like a real lady and the house was littered with literature teaching me how to act, dress, speak and eat.
"You never answered my question," I said, changing the subject. "You and Una."
He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment as though he was carefully choosing his words.
"No, we haven't done it yet."
There was a flicker of hope inside me.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Why?"
I had imagined they were doing it all the time. The thought of them fucking anytime and everywhere had plagued me since they first got together. It had made me sick with jealousy. Not to mention Sean was the boy everyone wanted to be with and he'd had plenty of girlfriends. I assumed he'd wooed Una into bed like he had all the others.
"Why haven't we fucked?" he asked a little crudely. "I don’t know. Never found the right time."
"Sounds like bullshit to me," I replied.
He rubbed at his tired eyes and blew out his breath with his hands on his hips.
"What do you think I am, Paige? Some typical jock who fucks around like an animal? You think I'm like all of them?" he gestured down the beach.
"I've heard how you all talk to each other. You're always boasting about your conquests."
He frowned and I could see the anger simmering in his eyes.
"I'm a virgin," he blurted out. "There, you happy now? Everyone thinks I've done it like a thousand times but I haven't."
"You're lying."
I took a step back.
"Why would I lie? Eh? You know me better than anyone. Does it look like I'm lying?"
His stance was strong and his jaw was set tight as his eyes bored into mine. Everything told me he was telling the truth but somehow I couldn't believe it. It seemed impossible.
"And I know you're a virgin too, obviously," he continued.
"Because you read my diary," I finished.
For a long while, we stared at each other knowing what was coming next.
"What kept you waiting?" I asked.
"You," he replied without skipping a heartbeat. "I was waiting for you."
The blood rushed through me as a fluttering sensation swept over my stomach.
"I always wanted you to be the first too," I said.
He took a step forward and stroked the windswept hair from my eyes. With his fingertips gently caressing my face, he leaned in and for a moment, he hesitated. I could taste the beer on his lips as it mingled with the salty air. I could feel the heat of his breath, and the way it tickled my top lip. Do it, I thought. Just do it. I can't wait any longer.
When his lips met mine, I thought I would melt. Falling into his arms, I kissed him hard, my tongue exploring his like I'd imagined a hundred times. Yet despite me wanting to kiss him forever, I broke away and stared down the beach as the wind picked up.
"What about you and Una?" I asked.
He slid his hands over my hips and kissed my ear.
"I don't think there isa ‘me and Una’," he replied. "There can't be."
Pressing my chest to his, I felt his heart beat fast against my chest. There was a slight smell of sweat on his neck and as I ran a finger down his throat, I could feel the dampness.
"Do you think this is the right time?" I asked as I hugged him.
He kissed the top of my head.
"I think it's the perfect time."
Lying down in the sand, the leaves rustled above us. In the distance, we could hear the last voices of the dying party as they drifted on the breeze. Somewhere in the city, a car sped through the night with its engine kicking into overdrive and beyond that, a bird called out.
The wind whipped my breasts as he lifted my shirt up over my head. Sand stung my skin but I barely noticed as his fingers drifted over my nipples, making them stiff and sensitive.
"I'd watched you before," he said.
"You watched me?" I gasped as he kissed my neck.
"Once, when you were in the shower. I'd pulled the door open a crack and watched you. You pushed your hand between your legs and cried out as you shook against the tiles."
"You're a bastard," I whispered as I slid my hands across his stomach. "You're a pervert, a weirdo."
"You don't like the idea of me watching you?"
I hooked my fingers into the elastic waist of his shorts and grazed the tip of his penis.
"I love it," I replied. "I wish I knew you were there. I would have asked you to join me."
We kissed hard as we tumbled onto the sand, our naked bodies being splashed by the sea spray. With our hot bodies pressed together amidst the cold night, we moaned softly as our lips brushed each other.
When his mouth moved lower until it was gently lapping at my navel, I felt the goose bumps rise over my body.
I'd dreamed of this moment countless times and now that it was happening, there was a certain numbness to me as though I couldn't quite believe it. But, as his fingers sunk themselves inside me and his mouth latched around the place that had never been touched before, I felt an explosion of pleasure rush out from between my legs. I gripped his hair and pushed his face further into me, calling out his name over and over.
He moaned as he sucked with one hand stroking himself into a frenzy. When he couldn't wait any longer, he sat up on his heels with his cock in his hand. I'd never seen one close up before and nothing could have prepared me for the size of it or the feeling of its hardness in the palm of my hand.
"Run your hand up and down it like this," he said as he wrapped his fingers around mine to guide them.
I did as I was told and watched him clench his eyes shut and lean back slightly, moaning to himself as his body was overcome with new delicious feelings.
"I'm ready," I said as I kissed his chest. "I'm ready to do it."
He opened his eyes and looked down at me. There was a slight look of awe on his face as though he was staring down at a goddess. In the moment, I felt like the most important person in his world.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I nodded and lay back, parting my legs and pulling him down on top of me.
"Fuck," he grunted as he lingered his tip on the inside of my thigh. "I can't believe this is really happening."
I silenced him with a kiss and coiled my legs around his back.
"Do it," I whispered in his ear. "I'm so wet."
He slid himself in me with ease. Only stinging for a moment, the pain was soon replaced with pleasure and I raised my hips to feel more of him inside me.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt?" he asked.
"Just do it harder," I replied. "Harder!"
He drove himself into me. Crying out and shuddering as his hands and knees sunk into the wet sand. Our eyes met as we both came in unison, then we were breathless, holding each other tight as the sweat stuck our skin together.
In the background, the sound of the sea serenaded us. I pulled on my underwear then placed my hoodie over us like a blanket, his shorts rolled up as a pillow. Curling up with my back toward him, he held me tight. I felt as though I was part of him, as though we were finally where we were meant to be. I fell asleep as the tide went out.
When I woke up, the waves were tickling the ends of my feet. Sitting up, I shielded my eyes from the bright sunshine. He was gone but he'd drawn a heart around my sleeping body in the sand.
Chapter Five
’’Morning, honey!"
Arthur was at the breakfast table eating bran flakes, a trickle of milk spilling out from the corner of his mouth.
"Where did you go to last night?" he asked.
"Just went out for a drive."
"But the weather was terrible!"
"I know, I was there."
Looking in the mirror as I wrapped my scarf around my neck, I was disappointed to see the red marks from yesterday had vanished. Hopefully, Sean would create some new ones today.
"You're going to work early," Arthur said.
He picked up the bowl and began drinking the dregs of the milk, slurping it all down until it was empty. I shivered and stepped into my shoes.
"I'm seeing Dr. Slater again. A quick early morning visit."
"Again? But you only saw him yesterday evening."
He eyed me suspiciously.
"Are you really going to see your therapist?" he asked.
"Yes!"
I rolled my eyes.
"And I'll be late if I stay here and keep yapping. Catch you later."
"Will you be home for dinner?" he asked as I reached the front door.
"Er...maybe."
I slammed the door shut.
Driving through the early morning streets, I could see the damage done by last night's thunderstorm. Branches lay scattered across the ground and bins lay on their sides.
The clinic loomed up on the horizon like a perfect, white cube. In the dim light, I could see a light was on in Sean's office. Parking up front and dashing into the elevator, my heart began to race the closer I got to him. When I entered the waiting room, I was surprised to see I was so early the reception staff hadn't even arrived.
"Hello, Paige."
Sean was waiting by the coffee machine.
"Sean... Yesterday was... the best. Just... I've been waiting so long to see you again."
"I never thought I'd see you again," he said with a great deal of sadness in his eyes. "But tell me something. Why now? Where were you all those years? Why turn up now and kick up all the shit I'd spent so long burying?"
Stunned at his sudden outburst of anger, I slumped down in the nearest chair and buried my head in my hands.
"I've never forgotten you. You must believe that, right? To me, you were the only one."
He sighed and sat down beside me, the faint smell of cigarettes mingling with mouthwash. Reaching across my lap, he picked up my hand and held it tight.
"Sean, I can't get her out my head."
He knew who I meant but he still looked perplexed and cocked his head to the side.
"Who?"
"You know who! Our little girl."
He let go of my hand and began twirling a loose piece of thread from his cuff around his finger.
"She's not part of our lives anymore," he said as he stared at the wall in front of him.
A poster lay on the wall with the faces of a happy family looking back at us. I wondered if he wished he was as happy as the father in the picture. Was he imagining I was the woman with the baby in her arms?
"She should be part of our lives," I said.
"No. She couldn't be."
We sat in silence for a moment. I wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me everything was going to perfect like that first night on the beach when we were eighteen. But I knew that could never happen again, we could never relive the moment.
"Who was the girl?"
"Eh?"
He turned to me.
"I heard her last night on the phone."
He sheepishly looked down at his shoes.
"My fiancée."
The word stabbed me in the chest like a dagger.
"This is a big fucking mess. I shouldn't have come back here. I'm sorry."
I fled the room and slammed my hand onto the elevator button. Stepping inside, the doors slid shut just as he was reaching them.
"Wait!" he called out as the elevator descended.
As it reached the basement level of the building, the doors glided open to reveal the parking lot. Sean emerged breathless at the bottom of the stairs.
"Don't make me run like that again," he said as he caught up with me. "I'm not a kid anymore."
"Neither am I," I replied and felt like bursting into tears.
Striding across the lot, my heels echoed across the concrete.
"Paige, wait."
"No."
"Wait!"
He grabbed my arm and twisted it up behind me.
"Why don't you listen unless I make you," he said, pressing my arm up into my back.
I winced at the pain but loved the feeling of him commanding my body.
"Let me go," I warned. "Or I'll do something I'll regret."
"Oh yeah. What's that?"
He twisted harder and I let out a yelp as the pain ripped through my shoulder. I wanted him to do it even harder, wanted him to take full control of my body. Pressing my ass up against him, I felt his hardness push into my thigh.
"You always play games, Paige."
"And you always love them."
Grabbing my pony tail in his hand, he yanked it back and I cried out, my voice ricocheting off the walls.
"Don't make me fuck you here," he said.
I breathed hard, relishing the feeling of his hands on me.
"Don't let me stop you."
He slid a hand up my thigh and pushed his fingers into my panties.
"You're wet already," he whispered gruffly in my ear. "This is what you really came for."
"I-I don't know what I came for," I stammered, confused at my own behavior.
There was the sound of him pulling down his zipper, his breath becoming faster and the rip of my skirt as he tore it up over my ass.
"Bend over," he said.
Leaning over the bonnet of the nearest car, I prayed that we wouldn't set off the alarm.
"Should we be doing this?" I asked as he lowered himself down over me.
"No, but I could never keep my hands off you."
He thrust into me as my scream bounced off the walls. The world around me disappeared and I was a teenager again with him making love to me in his bedroom. We were young and in love, two kids with nothing to fear. There were no adult problems, no heartache, nobody else to think about. It was just us in our own world and nothing existed in it, but the pleasure we could give each other and the feeling of our bodies grinding together.
"Fuck," he groaned from behind me.
He gripped my hands behind me and held my wrists tight. Teetering in my heels, I relied on his grip for balance and relinquished control of my body as he drove himself into me.
"Paige," he cried. "Where have you been?"
I came hard at hearing his voice call my name and cried out as I tumbled forward, my face falling onto the cold metal of the car's bonnet. A moment later he was shuddering and shouting through clenched teeth,
"Fuck, Paige!"
> He ejaculated into me as his buttocks clenched tight. Then he pulled out and zipped up his pants, glancing around the parking lot to make sure no one had noticed us.
As I smoothed down my skirt, I spotted the wisp of hair that had come loose from his perfectly gelled style. I placed it back on his head and kissed his cheek.
"That shouldn't have happened," I said although I was glad it did.
"Why could it never be normal between us?" he said, patting his hands against his red cheeks.
"I don't even know what normal is," I replied.
Still catching his breath, he leaned against a concrete pillar and flung his head back.
"Did you really come find me to talk about her?" he asked.
"Yeah. I've... really been struggling," I answered.
His eyes glossed over with nostalgia as he stared off into the distance.
"If it means anything, I've always regretted the day we said goodbye to her."
"Me too. Life would have been so different if we kept her."
He dragged his hand down his face.
"I'm sorry but I need to go."
A stormy look came over him.
"I can't think about this right now."
He strode away, leaving me leaning against the car.
"Hey! Is that it?" I called out as the tears began to prickle my eyes. “Can’t we talk?”
"Not now, Paige," he said without looking back. "Not now."
Chapter Six
Spring break had rolled around and everyone had either traveled down south to party or were heading home to spend time with their family. I was doing neither but was hiding out in a tiny apartment on the edge of campus waiting for Sean to arrive. He'd told me he couldn't wait to see me, said he was on his way, but I'd been waiting almost eight hours for him, staring out the window with my hands on my stomach like a widow wishing her husband would return from sea.
When I grew weary and decided to lie down, my head only hit the pillow when the doorbell rang. Struggling to get up, I took my time reaching the front door and it rang again.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled.
Opening the door to reveal my swollen stomach, Sean stood dumbfounded with his backpack sliding off his shoulder.
"Holy shit," he said. "You're massive."
"Thanks," I replied sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to tell me how fat I look."
Jewels And Panties: (Book 1-15) Billionaire Romance Series Page 78