by Parker, Ali
“Yes?” I asked.
“It’s my father. I just don’t know if I can leave him. He’s here, and he’s not in a good way. I don’t know what would happen to him if I left. A part of me feels guilty leaving him,” she said, sounding sad and forlorn.
“Yes, I can understand that for sure. I don’t know the details between you and your father, but from what you told me I know that is a very hard decision.” I put my hand on top of hers. She accepted the touch and squeezed it. I felt a lot of empathy for her and her situation. I was fortunate to have a strong father that did not give in to drink the way hers did. I was forever grateful for that and for my strong family, so I can only imagine what it must be like for her.
“I really just need to think more on it, but I wanted to let you know what was going on,” she said.
“I appreciate it. I want you to make the right decision for yourself. You’ve worked hard to get where you are and no one else deserves that job more than you do. You are the smartest woman I’ve ever met, Madison.”
A big smile came across her face. “Thank you, Tanner. That means a lot to me.”
“Here you are. Two steaks, two baked potatoes, and two side salads,” The waitress said, putting our dinner plates in front of us. It was the perfect relief from the heavy conversation we were having. Still a part of me wished that we weren’t at the restaurant, because I wanted to take Madison in my arms and console her. It was what she needed, I could tell.
“This looks incredible. Thank you so much,” I said to the waitress. She nodded and walked away.
Madison smiled at me and we began to eat, leaving the rest of the conversation to lighter fare.
After dinner I drove her home. Madison invited me inside, where we sat on her couch and talked.
“I just feel a lot of pressure right now with this job offer,” she said.
Putting my hands on her back, I began to rub her shoulders. I could literally feel her tension with my hands. “You will make the right decision. Sometimes you need to put yourself first,” I said.
“I know. You’re right,” she sighed. She turned and looked at me over her shoulder with those blue eyes. Damn, she was pretty. I couldn’t help myself any longer. I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. A soft moan escaped her mouth, making my cock hard.
Kissing her felt good, damn good. I put my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. I loved feeling her small petite body against mine. Her body was warm and I wanted to kiss away all of her sadness and worry. In this moment I only wanted to pleasure her, to take her mind off of things. I wanted to please her and that is exactly what I was going to do.
24
Madison
Tanner kissed me with passion and longing. It felt different, but I didn’t know why. Was it simply because I knew this could be the last time I kissed him. The last time I had sex with him?
I turned and straddled him as he sat on the couch. He moaned and kissed me harder. Then he stood up, but kept my body straddling him as he cupped my ass. He walked us to my bedroom and laid me on the bed.
“What are you doing to me?” he whispered. I didn’t know what he meant, but before I could ask he kissed me again.
My hands became greedy as they pulled at his shirt. I unsnapped the snap buttons all at once. I loved doing that to him. He pulled off both his shirt and undershirt. I never got tired of looking at his hot body. Then he fumbled with the zipper and button of his jeans and pulled them off as well. I sat up and pulled off my dress and underwear. We weren’t going to wait to undress slowly. We needed each other now, right in this moment. This could be our last time and we both knew it.
“No condom this time. I want to feel you against me.” He lifted an eyebrow as if checking with me.
“Okay. Yeah. I’m not ovulating. Get over here and let me feel you against me.” I reached for him, a little apprehensive, but knowing we were good. It would be fine.
He moved on top of me and pressed his thick cock down deep inside of my waiting wetness. “There’s my naughty girl.”
“Only for you,” I said before letting out a moan of pleasure. I needing to feel the satisfaction of having him inside of me.
His mouth covered mine, kissing me deeply. Tanner moved his cock, sliding it in and out of me in short hard movements. He was fucking me hard, but his mouth never left mine. I felt the emotion welling up inside of me. It wasn’t just the feeling of an orgasm, it was a bittersweet feeling that I could not describe. It was the feeling that this was the last time he would be inside of me.
I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to hold him close as though he was going to vanish at any moment. My heart was beating so fast and my mind was racing with lust and longing.
We moved like that for what seemed like forever. Every time I was on the verge of orgasm, the sadness of him not being with me in Georgia would rob me of it. We moved slowly, we moved fast.
Finally, my lust won over my emotions. “I’m going to come Tanner. I’m going to—” I could not finish the sentence as my body erupted into orgasmic pleasure. I pressed my face against his chest and allowed my body to feel the delightful pulsing.
He held me tight and close with one hand holding himself up and his other hand on my back, pressing me against him. He kissed the top of my head as he moved inside of me. Short movement, jerking his body.
“I’m coming. Fuck, I’m coming,” he moaned.
He released inside of me as I felt the hot explosion of his seed spilling. We both moaned in pleasure as he moved. We’d be okay. Nothing to worry about with unprotected sex. I’d timed it right.
We laid there in silence. Minutes went by, and finally Tanner moved. I felt him roll away from me out of bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m going to get dressed. That’s the way of it, right? You don’t want me to sleep over, you said that was too personal last time.”
Hearing him repeat my words stung a little. I didn’t like hearing it. It sounded so cold, and so wrong. I sat up and grabbed his arm, pulling him back into bed. “Not tonight. Tonight I need you here in my bed, sleeping next to me.”
“You do? Well I’m not going to argue with that,” he said, placing a kiss on my cheek. He laid down on his back and I crawled on top of him, putting my cheek on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. This felt good. This felt right. I didn’t want to move from this spot. In this spot, all of my worries melted away.
I felt safe and protected by the strong cowboy wrapped around me. Nothing could be better.
25
Tanner
The Texas morning sun hit my eyes. I sleepily opened them, blinking at the brightness. I was still in Madison’s sun-filled bedroom and felt her warm body in my arms. I looked down to see her blond hair spread out over my chest as she slept on it. I moved my hand over the smooth soft skin on her back. Damn. Waking up with her in my arms felt good, too good. I was falling hard for this woman, and now she was going to move to another state. That was just my luck. She was starting to open up to me, but it was going to be too late if she decided to leave. It was a great opportunity for her and I couldn’t be the one to hold her back, that would be selfish. But I did want her, I wanted her all to myself and I wanted her badly.
She stirred and moaned as she woke up slowly. She tilted her head and looked at me with those big blue eyes. A smile came across her face.
“Good morning, cowboy.”
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“I’m feeling a bit hungry. What about you?” She spoke as she was sitting up in bed and stretching. I looked at her beautiful naked body, already feeling like I could go another round.
“I don’t doubt that you’re hungry after the appetite that we worked up last night,” I said.
She laughed and reached down toward the floor. She pulled my snap button shirt on as I arched my brow at her.
“I like the way that looks on you.”
“So do I. Now, come on, you’re going to help me make pa
ncakes,” she said, getting out of bed. But she didn’t put anything else on, just my shirt that went to the middle of her thighs. I liked it. I rolled out of bed and grabbed my Wranglers. I pulled them on but stayed shirtless and barefoot, then followed her into the kitchen.
“Pancakes sounds good, and coffee, black coffee.”
“Yes, the coffee is in the freezer,” she said, grabbing a large bowl to mix the pancake batter. I grabbed the coffee out of the freezer and spooned some into the coffee maker.
“Tell me cowboy, are you a thick pancake man or is it thin and crispy for you?” Her smile grew broader as she spoke.
“I like them thick and fluffy,” I said.
She started to giggle. “Fluffy? That’s not a very tough word for a cowboy, or a Dawson brother.”
“Oh, is that right,” I said, moving behind her and tickling her waist. She doubled over, wiggling out of my hands.
“All right, all right. Fluffy it is. I won’t make fun, I promise.”
“That’s what I thought,” I said, and stopped tickling her.
She gave me a big smile. I was having a really good time with her. I loved this breakfast together moment we were having, and I knew deep inside I wanted more.
“Will you get the eggs and buttermilk?” she said, pouring the powdered pancake mix into the bowl.
“Coming right up.”
She turned on the radio, and George Strait was singing about the rodeo. We both danced and cooked at the same time. I liked seeing her in such good spirits, and this was turning into the best morning I’d enjoyed in a long time.
We sat down to eat our pancakes and talk about the day. But eventually, I knew that the conversation would turn to the topic we were both avoiding.
“Work aside, I know that today I really need to think about what I’m going to do. About the job offer and all,” she said, sounding sad.
“Yeah. That is something you should give a lot of thought. Don’t rush it,” I said.
“I still don’t know what to do. I definitely want the great career and this is a good start. But on the other hand, I don’t know if I can leave my father. It just makes me feel so guilty. Yet, he and my mom split up when I was young and he hasn’t even really been in the picture. So why do I feel like I owe him so much?”
She looked down at the floor while she was talking, and as she explained the part about her father and mother splitting up while she was a child, I realized that she came from a broken home, and that it happened at a very young age. That explained so much and I suddenly understood why she was afraid of commitment. This was why she was afraid of relationships. She hadn’t seen a good successful relationship as a child, and that could really scar a person. And who knew what she’d gone through during and after the break up.
“You feel that way because he’s family, and you’re a good person, Madison. You have a good heart, a big and loving heart. It’s not staying because you owe him, it’s staying because you love him and want to help him. You want to look after him because he is your blood. That’s what you’re feeling. It’s not guilt, or some debt that you owe him. It’s simply family, even if it’s not perfect family,” I said.
She looked up at me, startled, as though I had said something she’d never considered before. She was quiet for a long time after that. I didn’t like seeing her so confused and sad. I only wanted good things for her, and I realized I wanted her happiness above all else, even above my own.
“Well, I really should take a shower and get dressed. It is a school day after all,” she said, with a weak smile as though trying to play off her emotions.
“Yes, I’ve gotta get going as well. I should already be five chores deep into the day by this hour,” I said, looking at the clock on the wall.
We both stood up and I went back to her bedroom to finish getting dressed. She pulled off my snap button shirt and stood there completely naked and handed it to me.
I groaned. “If you stand there like that I won’t ever be able to get out of here. You are so damn beautiful, Madison.”
“So are you Tanner Dawson,” she said, giving me a wink. Then she grabbed her robe and put it on. After I was fully dressed she walked me to the front door and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Will you let me know what you decide?”
“Yeah. I can assure you that you will be the first to know,” she said.
Leaning down, I pressed my lips against hers, and then left her to her day.
I drove home thinking about how great the morning was, but how awful the timing was for this job offer. It was a really great job, and she deserved it. I knew I couldn’t stand in the way of that, I needed to let her go if that’s what she wanted. But I couldn’t help to think about her conflict with her father, and it bothered me that it weighed so heavily on her. I understood now why she didn’t want to date me, not because I was a Dawson brother and rowdy, but because of issues from childhood. It made sense.
Pulling into the driveway of the ranch in front of the house, I wasn’t shocked to see Abi walking toward me when I got out of my truck. She was pulling one of the horses behind her, with the reins in her hand.
“Well, you’re getting in awful early, or should I say late, like from last night? Can I assume that since you’re wearing the same clothes you left in that it went well?” she said, teasing me.
“A gentleman never tells,” I replied.
“Gentleman? I don’t see a gentleman?” she said.
“Very funny. You’re turning into Connor with your terrible jokes.”
“No, but really, everything alright?” she asked, getting quieter.
“Yes and no. Madison has been offered a really great job. I told her she should take it, but the problem is that I’m not sure I really want her to.”
“Why is that? A great job is good for her isn’t it? It’s what she’s been going to school for and all.”
“Yes, of course. But the job—it’s in Georgia and it starts in ten days.”
“Wow. That is some bad luck, brother.”
“Yeah, I’m very aware of that. Thank you, sister.”
“You told her to take it?”
“I told her to do whatever is best for her. She is still deciding.”
Abi let go of the reins of the horse and gave me a hug. “I am proud of you for not influencing her to not take the job simply because you want her here for yourself. That is not an easy thing to do.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“Now, you better get inside and get changed. There’s a lot of work to do today, and your absence was noted at breakfast.”
“Darn, that should be fun to deal with later.”
She rolled her eyes and went back to walking the horse. I went inside and took a shower, getting ready for work on the ranch. I understood what my sister meant, by not influencing Madison. But why did I feel like it was the wrong thing to not stop her from going? Was I doing the right thing by being so accommodating? It didn’t feel right. I felt like I should do the romantic thing and beg her to stay, beg her to stay with me. To give us a chance. I really did care for her and the thought of being without her was just too much to bear.
26
Madison
Walking into the diner, I slid into the booth. Jenna looked at me, pursing her lips together.
“There you are. I haven’t seen you or talked to you in forever. What’s been going on?”
“Yeah Jenna, I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy.”
“Mmm-hmm, busy with your lab partner, I’ll bet.”
“Exactly.”
Her eyes grew wide. “I was just kidding. Do you mean you and he have—”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes tightly.
She slapped me on the hand. “Good for you. I’m so happy for you. Hallelujah! Hey, let’s celebrate. Ice cream sundaes all around!”
I laughed at her.
“Now, no more secrets. You have to tell me his name. I probably don’t even know him. You know I don’t know
those book worm types anyway. But enough with the secret. I am your best friend and you have disappeared for days.”
“Alright fine. But there’s a good reason I couldn’t tell you. You’re not going to like this.”
“I’m not?”
“And, you can’t go telling anyone at the salon. You have to promise me.”
“This sounds good and juicy. I promise, scout’s honor,” she said, as she held up her hand.
I took a deep breath. “It’s one of the Dawson brothers.”
“No! What? No!” She was flabbergasted.
“Yes. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“This is unbelievable. Which one? Don’t tell me, it’s Wyatt. No, Connor.”
“It’s Tanner. Tanner Dawson.”
“Oh my Lord. He is a hot, hot, hottie. I can’t believe you’ve been banging a Dawson brother and you didn’t tell me. What’s it like? Is it good? Is he selfish in bed? Hot guys are always selfish in bed, they never learn to be good in bed because they never had to be.”
“Jenna. Stop. I’m not going to tell you details. I’m only telling you because I have a problem and I need your advice.”
“What? What did that boy do to you? I will beat him with my bare fist if he hurt you.”
“No, it’s not him. He has been nothing but a gentleman and he’s actually really kind. In fact, he is the one that wants to date, and I’m the one trying to keep it just sex.”
Her mouth fell open. “He wants to date you?”
“Yes, but I keep turning him down when he asks to take me to dinner and be a proper girlfriend, you know? It’s too complicated and I’m just not ready for that.”
“Oh my God. Here we go with the daddy issues again,” she rolled her eyes.