April's face lit up as she thought.
"She makes so many yummy things. I like her cookies the best. She brings some home for dessert every night," she said.
"I like her chocolate cake," Jack said.
"My favorite used to be the chocolate cake with the dark chocolate icing. She put layers of chocolate inside of the cake. It was so good," Zander said.
"That's the one," Jack said. "She makes it for my birthday. Maybe she can make you one while you're here."
"Maybe," Zander said. "That would be nice."
He looked over at me with a sad puppy dog look. It was the look that always got me.
"How come we've never seen you before?" April asked. "Carol's your mommy and Pete was your daddy. I've never seen you."
The smile dropped from Zander's face and Mr. Stuffy was back.
"I work a lot and haven't been able to get back home in a long time," he said.
"What do you do?" April asked.
"I'm a doctor," he said.
"That is a very important job. I guess it makes sense that it's more important than visiting. Carol says you knew my mommy when you were younger."
"I did," he said.
"Did you like her?" she asked.
It was taking all I had not to burst out in laughter. Zander was wiggling in his chair at her questions.
"I did," he said. "We were best friends."
"You're not anymore?" she asked.
"No," he said.
"Why not?" she asked.
"I'm not sure exactly," he answered.
His voice was softer than before. I felt bad that she had put him in that positon, but I wanted to know what he was going to say.
"You look nice in jeans," she said. "Do you think my mommy's pretty?"
A huge smile spread across my face at that question.
"I do," he said. "I've always thought your mommy was pretty."
"I don't see my daddy," she said. "Can you be my mommy's new boyfriend? She really needs one. You seem fun."
I jumped from my chair. It wasn't as funny when she started putting me on the spot.
"Does she?" he asked.
"For sure," she said.
"It's time to go. You two need baths and to get to bed. I need to be up early in the morning to bake the rest of the stuff for the funeral tomorrow. Thank Zander for spending time with you and get your stuff."
I was nudging them to move quicker before she really made me look desperate.
"When are you going back home?" April asked.
"I'll be here for a few more days," he answered.
"Can we hang out with you again? You're the cutest boy I know. I bet mommy thinks you're cute too. Do you mommy?"
"We need to go. You can see Zander tomorrow. We'll be going to Mr. Pete's funeral. I'm sure Zander will say hello to you there. Good night," I said, as I quickly pulled them each by a hand out the door.
My little girl had no problem asking all of the complicated questions. I had the kids bathed and ready for bed just as Carol and my mom came back. About an hour later, I was in my bed and couldn't stop thinking about Zander. That man had the body of a model. I couldn't imagine what his chest felt like and those abs were amazing. I had just turned off my light when I heard a noise. Moments later I heard it again. It was the sound of a rock hitting my window. Tears flooded my eyes. He was doing what he used to do to get me outside at night. I never imagined seeing him again would be so hard. I moved my curtain aside and looked down at him as I wiped my cheek. He was looking up at me with a smile that faded quickly. I shook my head no before moving back under my covers and crying myself to sleep. A few more days was all I had to get through. He would go back home, and I would go on with my life. I looked back out the window to see him sitting on the porch with his head in his hands. It was the same spot I had seen him in the day he moved in next door.
Chapter 8
Olivia
I was up and out the door by five o'clock the next morning. There were still several things to bake before the funeral. The bakery would be open for a few hours. Then I was closing for the rest of the day so I could be there for Carol and Zander. His relationship with his father wasn't good, but I knew at some point he was going to need someone. When my father passed away, I broke down and knew he would too. My relationship with my father was no better than his. Carol needed to know everything was taken care of. She needed to be shown how much everyone loved her and was going to be there for her.
The hours passed quickly, as I worked fast on getting everything finished. I packed my car up and closed the bakery. There was a sign hanging in the window that we'd be open the following morning. The drive home wasn't long, but I was exhausted. It was partly from all of the work I had been doing and partly because Zander was on my mind every second.
My hair was a mess and I was covered in food. I couldn't wait to take a hot shower. As soon as I pulled into the driveway, Zander was out the door and on his way over. He was wearing those damn flannel pants that barely stayed on his hips again. I could see the trail of hair leading beneath them and shivered at the thought of what was there. It had been so long since the time I had been with him, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was like in bed after all that time. My eyes moved up his body and watched as he came toward me. His chest was again bare. I wanted to run my hands down it and under those pants. My head shook away the thoughts. I really needed to get some sleep. He had a huge smile on his face, as he pulled open the back door of my car.
"I came to help you bring the stuff in," he said.
"You think maybe you could have put a shirt on before you came outside," I mumbled under my breath.
"You said I wasn't comfy enough. I didn't want to come out looking stuffy," he said with a laugh.
"Very funny," I snapped at him.
"I can't help it if you like what you see."
"I didn't say I liked it. You just look so different," I responded.
"You look different too," he said.
"Two totally opposite kinds of different. You look better and more muscular. I look older and more round. It's not the same."
I couldn't help but think about how different our lives were. We never would have made it. I don't know why I was so upset with him for leaving. He was doing really well for himself and for the people he helped every day.
"You're beautiful, Livie," he said, as he took my arms in his hands and looked down at me.
His finger was on my scar again. I felt it move up and down the length of it.
"We have so much to talk about," he said.
"No, we don't," I replied. "I need to get the kids ready. How's your mom?"
I yanked my arm from his hand, pulled my lower lip into my mouth, and turned away from him.
"She's fine. I want her to move to New York, but she says she doesn't want to talk about it. He was her everything. You know that. I offered to get her a place close to mine. She would still have her own space. This is her home now. That's what she says. She doesn't want to leave their final home together. It's hard for me to understand her views. I just want to be able to see her and check on her."
"She'll still have all of us. That's how it's been for the last sixteen years. I'm not planning on moving from here. I'll still be here to check on her. I'm not going to abandon her now that your dad is gone. She can call you if she needs anything," I said.
"You're too good to her," he said. "I appreciate everything you've done for them. I can't help but think she doesn't deserve you being there."
"Why would you say that, Zander?" I asked in shock. "I can't believe you."
"Never mind," he said. "Why don't you go get the kids ready and take a shower? I'll get all of this into the house."
I nodded and turned to walk away but stopped and turned back to him.
"I'm really sorry about your dad, Zander," I said, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him.
His arms tightened around me and it felt so damn good. I missed him so badly.
"Thanks," he said.
"I know how you feel about him. I just want you to know I'm here when you're ready to talk," I said.
I pulled out of his hold and walked away before he could tell me he wouldn't need to.
Chapter 9
Zander
When Livie walked into the funeral home, she took my breath away. She had on a beautiful blue dress that came to just above her knees. Her hair was up in a clip. The way it curled when it came down was so gorgeous. Livie never wore a ton of makeup. She always had on just enough to make her more beautiful than she already was. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes sparkled, and her lips were plump and the sexiest red. I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and pull that bottom lip into my mouth. April and Jack walked beside Livie. They were dressed in their Sunday best. I wasn't sure they needed to be there, but there was nobody to watch them. Everyone they knew would be there.
My father got along with almost everyone in town. It was only me he had a problem with. I could never figure out if he didn't want children or if there was something about me he didn't like. He gave me shit every chance he could. I couldn't stand hearing how I wouldn't amount to anything and how I needed to make something of myself.
I was sitting in the lobby when the three of them walked in. My mom had gone into the room my father was in. She had Livie's mom go with her. I wasn't ready yet and wasn't sure I ever would be. Livie walked right to me with a child's hand in each of hers. She really loved them both. I knew she was a great mom.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked, as her eyebrows rose and she nodded to the other room.
"I'm not ready," I said.
Her eyes dropped to the ground. There was a room off to the side that the kids could sit in if they didn't want to be in the room with the emotional adults.
"April and Jack can go in there if they want. There's a television, books, and games in there. I ran out and got a few extra things for them to play with," I said.
As soon as I saw what was in that room, I knew the kids needed things to keep busy. They didn't need to be forced to sit still for hours. That was always torture growing up. It was the first time I had been shopping for kids, and I think I actually got a little too into it.
Livie nodded and I walked them over to the room. Seeing the way their eyes lit up when they saw the bags I had brought in made me smile. I worked with kids often, and I got along good with them. It wasn't that I was a jerk or anything. I just never saw myself having kids. There was no way I would want to disappoint them or do anything to hurt them or scar them for life. April and Jack were adorable. They were very polite and appreciated everything. I was surprised they were so intelligent at such young ages.
"Zander," Livie snapped.
"What?" I asked with a smile.
My thoughts went back to me in the store feeling like a child on a shopping spree. It really was a bit much, but I didn't care. Those two deserved it.
"You know they are only going to be here for a couple of hours. Why would you do all this? You have to take some of this back. This is way too much stuff to play with here," she said, as she turned to the kids. "You can each pick out two things to play with. The rest is going back to the store."
I gave her my best sad face and silently begged her to let them have fun. There was no reason for them to be sad or bored in a funeral home. They didn't need to think about that stuff yet. She shook her head no, and I put my hands together and gave her a sweet look. That was what she would do to me to get me to agree to things growing up. She shook her head and laughed.
"I wanted to do it. Please let them have it. I'm not going back to the store," I said.
"They aren't your responsibility, Z," she said, and I felt my heart tighten.
It was the first time she used my nickname since I'd been back. When I called her Livie for the first time, she decided she would be calling me Z. She thought I would stop calling her Livie, but I never did. That is the only thing I have ever called her. I'm not sure I've ever called her Olivia in front of her.
"I know that," I said. "I wanted to do it."
"Fine," she said. "Only this time. Don't do anything like that again."
The kids began ripping things open and playing. It was so much fun watching how excited they got. Livie pulled me over to a seat to sit down.
"Maybe you'll have some of your own one day. You can spoil them rotten," she said.
"Maybe you'll have ten more," I said back to her. "You're an amazing mom."
"Not me," she said, as she shook her head. "These two are it for me. I put all of my time and care into them. I won't be having anymore."
She played with her hands in her lap while she looked down at them. I reached over and took her hands in mine. When she didn't pull away, I was shocked. I could feel her hands shaking as I held them.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"What's going on?" I asked.
She wouldn't answer me. I watched her shake the thoughts from her head before looking up with a smile. I'm not sure why she thought I wouldn't see the sadness in her eyes. Just because I had been gone didn't mean I didn't know her anymore.
"I think I'm going to go in and check on your mom. You should be in there for her, Zander. I know this is hard for you. When you're ready, I'll be there if you want me to," she said.
"Why are you so perfect?" I asked without thinking.
"I'm far from perfect. I can think of more than one person that can tell you everything not perfect about me," she said, as she stood up. "Let me know when you're ready, Zander."
She turned and walked out of the room. The first time she called me Z, it drove me crazy. I knew I wouldn't back down. She had been trying to get to me. That was the only thing she called me the entire time I lived there and after I left. Since I had gotten back, she had only called me Zander beside that one time. I never thought my name would sound like a curse word, but every time she said it, it stung like you wouldn't believe. It sounded like the worst word in the world. I couldn't wait to hear her call me Z again.
I sat with the kids for a few more minutes before going back out to the waiting area. People came and went. They stopped to talk and tell me how sorry they were. A few of them mentioned things my father had told them about me. Most of it didn't make any sense, but I didn't say anything. They were just being polite. Livie came out after about an hour and sat down next to me. She put her hand on my knee and looked up at me. The warmth that spread from the tips of her fingers through me was so comforting. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine. I just want to get out of here. I'm so glad we're doing everything in one day. I'm not sure I could hear about how wonderful he was for two more days. You wouldn't believe some people. They've told me things he said about me. I can't believe what some of them are saying. Why would they lie to me? I haven't cried once since she called me to tell me he was gone. He pissed me off all the time. I did everything I could to make that man happy. Nothing was ever good enough for him. I still expected to cry, but I haven't been able to. I'm not sure why."
The door opened and a family walked in. It was one of the guys I went to school with. Livie motioned for me to get up and stood next to me while we talked. The guy kept looking between the two of us. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. Nothing ever changed there. Everyone was always trying to figure out your business. We stood for a few more minutes. I let them know their children could go and play with April and Jack if they wanted. Livie walked into the viewing room with the couple.
It had only been a few minutes when she came back through the doors with tears streaming down her face. I was off the couch and wrapping her in my arms in seconds. Livie wiped her eyes and pulled back from my hold. Her body was stiff. I had no idea what had just happened.
"I'll be back in a minute," she said.
"Was it seeing my dad that made you cry?" I asked.
"No," s
he said before turning and walking toward the bathroom.
I sat wondering what had happened in that room to take her from smiling to tears that quickly. She didn't stay in the bathroom long, but she wouldn't tell me what had upset her. Something changed about her. The little bit she had let me back in was gone. She was completely closed off and acting like we didn't know each other. I sat with her in silence.
When the door opened again, I felt her stiffen even more and saw her hands begin to shake. I looked up to see her ex standing in the doorway. He was looking over at her with a smile. She was shaking so badly the damn couch was moving beneath her. I reached over, took her hand in mine, and pulled her to her feet. There was no way I was letting her pull away from me. He walked up to us. I put my arm around her back and held her by my side. I could still feel her body shaking and knew I was right about him when she jerked her arm away from me days before. That fucker did something to her. He would never touch her again. That I was sure of.
"Olivia," he said.
"Mike," she said sternly.
"I'm sorry about Zander's dad," he said, as if I wasn't standing right there.
"Thanks," she said. "You shouldn't be here."
"It's a public place," he replied. "I came to give my condolences."
"The kids are here. Do you want me to get them?" she asked.
"No," he said. "I won't be here long. Would you walk me in?"
I felt her body take a huge breath in.
"We were just talking about my mom," I said. "She's in there with Livie's mom. You can go right in. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."
I heard him growl when I said Livie's name. He walked away and pulled the door open.
"What the hell did he do to you?" I snapped.
"Not now, Zander," she said. "This is not the time. We can talk about it later."
"That scar is from him," I said roughly. "I asked you. You wouldn't tell me."
"Just let it go," she snapped back at me. "It has nothing to do with you."
"Yes," I growled. "It does."
"You gave up the right to get upset about me when you cut me off sixteen years ago. You weren't there for me the entire time. I don't need you to pretend you care now. You'll be gone in a few days. I'll still be here with him and everyone else."
A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) Page 5